Chapter 6
Teddy
“It’s nine o’clock, brat.” Daddy glared and crossed his arms, but he did that a lot. “I have to go and you’re still little.”
“No.” I was Daddy’s good boy, though, so I smiled. “Thank you, Daddy.”
He sighed and glared bigger. “She said she’s coming back soon and I’m not sure what she’ll do if I don’t let her in.”
Ugh.
“Stop playing dead and get up off the floor.” Daddy made grumbly sounds. “It looks like a murder scene. You should’ve let me clean you up better.”
Ha.
Messy nuggets.
“Do you know what your mother will do to me if she has to come bail us out of jail?” Daddy stomped over and looked down, being serious Daddy. “She’ll kill me with one of those long thin candles she was selling last year. Those looked sharp.”
I held up my hand. “Booboo.”
Daddy was smart.
He sighed and wiggled his hand.
“Up.” When I pouted, he raised one eyebrow. “I might be able to find another brownie for a grown-up Teddy who wants to tell his friend I haven’t kidnapped him.”
Olivia.
“Fine.” Maybe. “See?”
Big boy time.
Stand straight.
Look serious.
No funny business.
“My brownie, please.” Ha. Manners were for big or little. Karma was a bitch. “Thank you.”
Daddy narrowed his eyes and huffed. “You’re still little.”
Smart Daddy.
“I’m a big boy.” Oops. Not supposed to say big boy. Grown-ups were boring. “I was bribed with a brownie.”
Oh, yes.
Good job.
“Chipmunk, this isn’t going to work.” Daddy cocked his head and looked thinky. “You look like a robot pretending to be human.”
No giggles.
No giggles.
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“See?” Daddy waved his hand at me. “That’s what a robot pretending to be human would say. You didn’t even try to lie and say you were human.”
“I’m human.” He was so silly. “I’m playing pretend, shh.”
“Fucking hell.” Daddy shook his head again. “She’s going to think I’ve drugged you or something.”
Daddy worried.
“This isn’t something you can play pretend about.” Daddy thought he was right. Daddy was wrong. “You have to actually be big to talk to her.”
Nope.
Hmm.
“Masking.” I shrugged. “I’m a grown-up.”
Daddy frowned and got his confused face on. “That’s not what that word means.”
Yes.
“Ready time.” I took Daddy’s hand and tugged him faster and faster. “Be careful.”
“Why the fuck are these stairs so steep?” Daddy almost fell again. “Who designed this house?”
“I don’t know.” Ha. Big boy words. “I need a shirt, please.”
Daddy groaned. “I’m going to get arrested for turning you into a robot.”
Daddy was weird.
“Shirt.” I pointed to my dresser and raised my hand. “You have to pick it out.”
More big boy words.
I was so smart.
Daddy was so dramatic but he was smart too and gave me what I wanted.
“This is ridiculous and we should’ve talked about limits before I change your shirt.” Daddy liked rules and being a good boy. “Coloring is one thing but this is another.”
Aww.
Cute Daddy.
“Green.” Hmm, Daddy needed robot words. “I’m green, Levi.”
Daddy Levi.
Ha.
Daddy picked my new shirt out and frowned at me. “You called me Daddy Levi in your head, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” Happy wiggles. “You’re Levi.”
“That sounds weird.” Daddy got a different frown as he took my shirt off. “If you were taller this wouldn’t work.”
Short Chipmunk.
Shirt on the Chipmunk.
“There.” Daddy let out a big breath. “Thank you for letting me know you were green.”
I was Daddy’s good boy.
I was going to tell him but then…Olivia.
“Teddy!”
Olivia was loud.
Daddy groaned and his head went side to side. “I’ll be polite. Well, I’ll try.”
Hmm.
Maybe.
“Let’s go.” Slow, slow down the mountain stairs. “You can go pick out a movie.”
Daddy started walking to the living room and stopped. More glares. “I’m going to pretend to be looking at movies, but we’re going to talk after the screamer leaves.”
“Olivia.” Names were important and good manners.
He snorted…but he went to pick out a movie.
Daddy liked movie cuddles.
“Teddy? Are you dead?”
Oops.
Ugh.
Big boy pretend time.
“Coming.”
Daddy snorted. “No, you’re not…not with her anyway.”
He was so silly…and he grumbled about not being appropriate but I ignored that and went down as a boring big boy.
Olivia was a grown-up friend not a little friend and that was okay.
“What the hell, Teddy? Why did they do that to me?” Olivia forgot to ask about me being kidnapped as she rushed in, but that was okay too. “They were both really offended.”
She was confused about that but she was always confused about that.
“Coffee?” Lunch date then coffee date, right?
“Ugh. Julie texted and said she had to move lunch back because she had to cover for someone else who was late and that she wanted to meet over at the bakery instead. Neither of us needs that much refined sugar, but that’s fine.
” Olivia nodded as I sighed. “I know, but I was nice and agreed to it, but when I got over there Julie and Pepper were having coffee and each had big desserts and they were laughing away.”
Oh no…it was so confusing.
“I come in and I was polite asking what they were doing and then they just lost their shit. Even Pepper and she’s usually very chill.
” Olivia went back and forth and back and forth in the kitchen, stomping and pouting.
“Julie, well, she’s always like that, but she was just getting more and more wound up. ”
Yep.
Olivia threw her hands up in the air and shook her head. “I’m young. I’m not getting married right now. It’s not like I was cheating. We hadn’t even had sex. Everyone knows kissing doesn’t count.”
It didn’t?
“I don’t need that much drama in my life.” Frowning, Olivia shook her head as she came to a stop. “Do you think I need to try dating men again?”
“No.” For lots and lots and lots of reasons. “Jacob.”
“Oh yeah.” Scrunching up her face, Olivia groaned and sighed and slouched. “Well, I haven’t texted that girl in the theater program back. She was cute.”
Hmm…
Maybe nuts?
Maybe not?
It was hard to tell…she liked Olivia…so probably nuts.
“Okay, yes.” Standing straighter, Olivia looked happy again. “That’s a great plan. I’m not going to let them get me down.”
Nope.
“Is soup guy still here?” She looked around and frowned. “Did you kidnap him?”
“No.” Big boy time. “He wants to show me he’s sorry.”
Ha.
Big boy sentence.
“That’s nice…but kind of weird and maybe a red flag?” Olivia liked red flags, so I didn’t know why she was worried. “Do I need to chase him off for you?”
Daddy?
“No, we’re going to hang out.” Why? Hmm? “He’s going to come home with me for Christmas. His family is traveling.”
Oh, I was a good big boy.
“Okay.” Look, look, look. “Your kitchen is different. Never mind. I’m going to go text Cheri or Cherry or whatever her name is.”
Oh dear.
No.
“Victoria.”
Olivia perked up. “That’s right. You’re so good with details. Okay. See you later. Let me know if you need me to bring you dinner tomorrow. Evidently that new squash soup isn’t selling. I think it’s the color.”
Eww.
“Bye.”
Bye-bye wave.
Slam.
All done.
“I’m not eating that soup no matter what’s wrong with it and she’s a menace to every lesbian on campus.”
Yep.
Daddy was frowny and grumbly as he stomped into the kitchen. “And let’s make it clear right now…kissing is cheating, Chipmunk.”
No kissing other Daddies…got it.
“No kissing.” I crossed my heart over my chest and nodded. “It’s cheating. Got it.”
Daddy looked confused but he nodded. “That’s right. She’s ridiculous and that’s cheating.”
No kissing other Daddies meant I could kiss my Daddy?
“She’s naughty.” But no girls for me, so no worries for me. “Not my naughty.”
“No.” Daddy tried to look serious but he wanted to laugh. “You’re my naughty evidently.”
Yep.
But I shrugged and gave Daddy my cute smile. “Brownies?”
Daddy huffed and folded his arms again. “You were supposed to be big to get another brownie. You were going to be big and talk to your crazy friend. That was the deal.”
“Oh…” Sad face for Daddy. “But my brownie.”
Ha.
He sighed.
“I need to know what the plan is and that means I have to talk to grown-up Teddy who can tell me his limits.”
Oops.
“Green.” Yes, I was green. I was Daddy’s good boy. I was a brownie-hungry boy. “Yes. Green. Brownie?”
Daddy groaned and scrubbed his face like he was getting it all clean. “This isn’t working. Come here.”
Oh dear.
Yes, oh dear moment.
Daddy took my hand and Daddy tugged that time.
“Couch time.” Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. “The couch because I shouldn’t have been in your bedroom without a limits discussion first.”
All cranky Daddies like rules?
Just my cranky Daddy liked rules?
“Sit with me as long as you’re green.” Daddy sat down but gave me his look. “What color are you?”
“Hmmm…suspicious green.” A maybe yucky color…maybe not.
Daddy snorted. “That’s green enough for me.”
Tug.
Tug.
Sit.
Cuddle.
“Better.” Daddy made his big breath sound and glared at me…again. “This would be easier if we had the conversation when you were a grown-up?”
“No.” Not gonna. Nope. “Fine.”
Naughty Daddy rolled his eyes. “You’re not fine. You’re stubborn and…and probably worried I’m going to be…something.”
Daddy was definitely something.
Cranky something most of the time.
“Little is fine.” All set. All fine. “Brownie?”
“Yes…after we’re done talking.” Daddy was trying to be patient but Daddy didn’t like that. “What if we did brownies and…and a science show or a space show…”
Daddy got thinky and frowny. “You liked rocks when you were little…regular little…we can find a show about rocks.”
“All done ’toons?” Daddy nodded but got his scrunchy face again. “Okay. Rocks.”
I liked rocks.
I liked stars.
I liked fishes.
“Thank you.” Daddy melted into the couch. “That’s much better. So brownies, rocks, and then I’m going to tuck you in bed.”
I wasn’t tired.
Daddy held up his finger like the old Daddies did. “If you tell me you’re not tired, I will forget where I put the brownies.”
Oh.
Meanie Daddy.
“Brownies and rocks, Daddy.” No tired talk. “Space too? Daddy likes space.”
“How did you…” Daddy looked confused. “Never mind. The answer would probably be confusing.”
Cranky Daddy.
“Okay, we have a plan for tonight and tomorrow I’m going to come over and make breakfast for you.” Daddy got his face back. “And I expect to be able to talk to big Teddy and not just my little Chipmunk.”
Hmm…maybe.
“That face…okay…” Thinky. Thinky. Daddy. “Just remember that I can’t help with bubble baths or even put on jammies until after a limits talk.”
Aww.
“Don’t give me that look.” Daddy wanted to cross his arms but I had him cuddle stuck. “I will change shirts and help with shoes and socks but that’s it. Nothing else no matter what kind of pouts or whines you give me. Limits are important.”
Ugh.
Daddies were hard work.