27. Jax
CHAPTER 27
Jax
I was back at the farm, leaning against the fence near the pasture, watching the last rays of sunlight spill over the fields. The light turned everything golden—the grass, the old barn, and the hills in the distance. It was one of those moments when the world felt still, as if holding its breath.
But I wasn’t feeling peaceful.
I hadn’t seen Dee since she showed up at the barn two days ago. She’d looked like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, but when she’d thanked me for paying the taxes, something in her voice had cracked, and I’d felt it crack something in me, too.
She ran like the hounds of hell were after her. She was scared. I knew that. Did she think I wasn’t? I’d fallen in love with a contrary woman who was insecure, prickly, and full of sass. And she didn’t trust me. We couldn’t have a relationship without trust.
I’d spent most of my life keeping things casual, skating through relationships without letting anyone get too close. But with Dee, it was different because she was different.
I needed her back with her whole heart because I had a feeling life with Dee would have these kinds of ups and downs. I didn’t have a problem with that; this was who Dee was. But I needed her to meet me at least a quarter of the fucking way. It hurt that she just believed Cillian’s nonsense—or that she wanted to believe it so badly so she could get rid of me. That fucking hurt.
The sound of footsteps on the gravel pulled me out of my thoughts. I turned, and my heart stopped when I saw her standing a few feet away with her hands shoved into the pockets of her coat.
She looked nervous, her fiery hair falling loose around her shoulders and her green eyes flicking up to meet mine before darting away again. It was as if I’d conjured her up.
“Hey,” I said softly, straightening.
“Hey,” she replied, her voice quiet.
For a moment, neither of us said anything. The only sound was the wind rustling through the grass and the distant bleating of one of Ronan’s sheep.
Finally, Dee took a deep breath, her shoulders rising and falling as she stepped closer. “I owe you an apology.”
I frowned, crossed my arms, and waited.
“I’m sorry for not trusting you.” She met my eyes. “For believing Cillian’s lies. For…pushing you away.”
Hearing those words from Dee—stubborn, independent, fiery Dee—felt like the clouds breaking after a long storm. But I didn’t let myself relax just yet.
“So, you trust me now?”
She nodded.
“You sure?”
“Yes,” she breathed.
“What was all that you’re in bed with the developers shite?”
She swallowed. “I…I got scared that you were and…I just got scared.”
I took a deep breath. “Dee, darlin’, I love you.”
She blinked.
“I think…no, I know you love me.”
“It’s too soon,” she said, sounding desperate. “I mean, we barely know each other, Jax.”
I tilted my head and raised both eyebrows. “Stop spewing bullshit.”
Her eyes flashed with anger at my words. “Only a moron confesses to falling in love in a few weeks. Grown-ups wait to get to know someone before confessing eternal love.”
“You think I’m a moron?”
“You think I spew bullshit?” she challenged.
I liked this Dee much better than the one who was hurting. But we needed to clear the air.
“Dee, you hurt me. A lot. And now, when you refuse to admit how you feel, you're hurting me some more.”
She gasped, her eyes filling with tears. Ah fuck!
“I never want to hurt you, Jax.”
I believed her. “I know, but I need more. I get why you didn’t trust me. You’ve been hurt before. I get it. But Dee, I’ve been here for weeks. I’ve stood by your side, I’ve fought for this village, and I’ve fought for you. I’ve done everything I can to prove I’m not like him . At some point, you’ve got to stop expecting me to let you down.”
She flinched, her lips pressing into a thin line. “I know. It’s just when Cillian came in with those pictures, it felt like history repeating itself.”
I let out a slow breath, my chest tightening at the rawness in her voice.
“I’m sorry,” she repeated, her green eyes locking on mine. “For doubting you. For being such a stubborn, impossible pain in the arse. You didn’t deserve that.”
“No.” A small smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. “I didn’t. But I’m not exactly easy either, so maybe we’re even.”
She let out a soft laugh, and the sound was like music.
“I don’t deserve you , Jax,” she said, her voice breaking slightly. “But I want to try. If you’ll let me.”
I closed the distance between us in two quick steps, my hands settling on her shoulders as I tilted her chin up to look at me. “Dee, I’m not going anywhere,” I promised. “I told you that from the start. And I don’t care how hard you try to push me away—I’m staying. Because I love you, whether you like it or not.”
Her eyes softened, and she let out a shaky laugh. “You’re very hard not to love.”
“That’s what they all say.”
She rolled her eyes, but before she could say anything else, I leaned down and kissed her.
It wasn’t like the other kisses we’d shared—those had been heated, frantic, fueled by tension and lust. This one was slower, deeper, filled with everything I hadn’t been able to put into words.
When we finally pulled back, she rested her forehead against mine, her breath warm against my skin. “I love you, too,” she whispered.
The words hit me with the depth and burn of an aged single malt, rich and unforgettable.
“Say it again,” I demanded, my voice low.
She laughed softly, her green eyes sparkling. “I love you, Jax Caldwell.”
“Damn right, you do.” I pulled her closer. “Can I come back to the pub, darlin’ Dee?”
“Yes, please.”
“Thank God! Because one of Ronan’s goats comes inside the house and wakes me up in the morning by bleating outside the bedroom door.”
“Johnny has abandonment issues,” she explained about the goat.
“Johnny shits everywhere.”
“Well, aye! This is a farm, and we have animals, and they shit.”
“Whose side are you on?” I put an arm around her, leading her inside the house.
“Yours. But…Johnny is special.”
“You’re saying a goat is more special than me?”
“Well, you’re a man, and he’s a goat. There’s no competition, Jax.”
“Like hell, there isn’t,” I muttered. “So, what’s it about this goat you like so much?”
She laughed, and I loved how I could make her happy, how I could chase the dark away from her, how she let me.