18. Aria
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Leo's hand grips mine, my muscles stretching and lengthening in my arm as he holds himself in place with the toe pick of his skate and continues to spin me in a circle around him. My body is so close to the ice, I'm parallel with the surface. Cold radiates from below, enveloping my body as my hair trails behind me.
Every move we do together requires an insane amount of trust. The death spiral doesn't require anything less. Leo has to be able to keep his body stable and in place as he leans back, creating torque to propel me around the rink. He has to have the ability to hold on to me and not let go as he spins me.
I have to keep my body stable, strong, and in the proper placement as I hold on to him with a fierce grip. I've never had someone let me go before. I don't think Leo will be the one to do it, but the thought alone scares the shit out of me. I get the same thoughts and feelings with jumps and the throw lifts.
The spin starts to slow down and Leo begins to straighten his body as he lifts his hand that is holding on to mine. I let him guide me, while also using my own strength to be back in an upright position. The music continues to play and we don't miss a beat as we move forward in our routine.
We go through the same moves we've been working on for weeks now. The same routine we did at our last competition. Even though we won gold there, we haven't gotten to the competition that secures our position on the Olympic team. The world championship. It's one of the biggest competitions that we work toward as figure skaters. I made it before and won with Preston, but this time it's different.
The odds are stacked against us. It's never been heard of for a pair to just start skating together this far into the competition season and then to go on and win Worlds and qualify for the Olympics. I want it even more than I did before because of that.
I want to be able to say that Leo and I did that.
We finish our routine before we both begin to skate separately around the arena to let our bodies begin to cool down. Leo glances over at me and it feels like the first time he's really paid attention to me since Austin tried to set us up last week. Since that night, we've fallen into a weird silent working partnership. I was still annoyed with both of them for that. Leo hasn't tried to talk to me unless it's something pertaining to our routine and even then, I keep it as brief as possible.
I'm not wasting my time with him any more than I have to.
Hell, I've already wasted enough time either with him or thinking about him.
"I want to ask you something."
I look over at Leo as we begin to slow down. I shouldn't entertain him, but I'm also curious to hear what it is he might need to ask me. "Okay."
He's silent for three heartbeats and it feels like the time stretches to an eternity. Tension fills the air and anticipation mixes in my bloodstream. I need him to spit the damn words out already. We reach the break in the boards where the door is hanging open from the other skaters who exited earlier.
"What are your thoughts about changing the routine up a bit?"
Leo's question isn't what I was anticipating. I don't know what I actually thought he was going to say, but I thought it would be a little more invasive than a question about our performance. A sigh leaves me and I’m flooded with relief. There’s a touch of disappointment that lingers beneath it all.
"Do you think there's something wrong with it the way it is?"
Leo shrugs, motioning for me to walk ahead of him as we exit the rink. He walks behind me until we walk into the locker room. I sit down on the bench, smelling the stench of hockey with the smell of the cooling system. It doesn't smell as bad as it did before my brother's company replaced it. The chemicals must be ingrained in the fibers of this building now.
"Kincaid and Eva both pointed out last night that they think we need to increase the emotional pull."
I pull off my skates and clean the snow from the blades, making sure they're dry before I slide my microfiber protectors over the sharp edges. "What did you have in mind?"
Leo turns to face me on the bench as he straddles it. "I was hoping maybe you had an idea or two."
I put my skates into my bag and pull the zipper closed before I turn my attention back to Leo. Thinking back on our routine, I can see why Luca and Alanna would say that. There is just enough tension and emotion to keep you engaged in the performance, but there needs to be more.
Just as I'm about to answer him, my phone begins to ring. Leo raises an eyebrow at me as the annoying sound of my ringtone echoes inside the room. My nostrils flare in annoyance as I fumble with the side pocket of my bag. I pull out my phone and those feelings disappear as I see Griffin's name on the screen.
"Hold on," I tell Leo as I answer the call and hold my phone up to my ear. "Hey, Griffin," I say through the speaker, keeping my voice light, even though I'm weirdly nervous. Leo's eyes narrow slightly and the muscle in his jaw tightens.
It's not because Griffin called me.
It's because Leo is staring me down, unmoving like a statue as he sits facing me.
"Hey, Aria," Griffin says cheerfully through the phone. "Is now a bad time?"
I hold Leo's gaze, refusing to be the one who backs down. Leo will not win this. "Not at all. I just got off the ice."
"I'll keep this short. I wanted to see if you’d like to get dinner again."
I raise an eyebrow. "You're still in town?"
Leo doesn't even look like he's breathing.
"I extended my stay by a few weeks, so I leave next weekend." He pauses for a moment. "I was hoping to get a redo of our dinner before I head out."
"Absolutely," I tell him, a smile pulling across my lips. "I'll be out of town this weekend for a competition, but text me a day that would work for you for next week."
"That sounds perfect," Griffin says and I can hear the smile in his voice. "I'll text you in a little bit."
Leo's eyes are hard and colder than ice.
"Thanks for calling, Griffin. I'll talk to you soon."
Pulling my phone away from my ear, I end the call and lock my screen before tucking it back into the pocket of my bag. Leo's back is stick straight and his knuckles are white as he holds on to the sides of the bench. "Sorry about that," I apologize, giving him a small smile. Pushing off the bench, I rise to my feet and grab my things. "Let me think about some different things we could add to our performance and I'll let you know what I come up with tomorrow morning."
"What did he want?"
My eyebrows pull together momentarily before I recover from his question. I level my gaze with his. There's a part of me that's now addicted to this push-and-pull thing we have going on. He's hot and he's cold. He lets me in and he shuts me out. I'm no better than him because I do the same exact thing. I may trust Leo Wells on the ice, but I don't know that I will ever be able to trust him with my heart.
"That's none of your business," I answer, not bothering to hide the irritation in my tone.
Leo rises, stepping directly in front of me. He's standing so close, I can feel the heat radiating from his body. I have to tilt my head back to meet his gaze. "It is now."
"No, it's not." There's a hardness in my tone and I hate it. I hate this tension between us. I want nothing more than to let him sweep me off my feet and to never put me down. That's a fucking pipe dream and I need to take Brynn's advice. Nothing less than queen treatment. I already messed up by letting him fuck me in Germany. “You don’t get to act like you care, Leo. We both know you don’t. You don’t want anyone else to have me, but you don’t even want me for yourself.”
"What did he want?" he questions me, the words coming out with a bite in his tone. He doesn’t bother commenting on a single thing I said. It’s like he didn’t even hear the words I spoke. "He wants to take you out again, doesn't he?" He rolls his eyes and mumbles something under his breath. “So fucking predictable,” it sounds like, but I can’t quite make out every word.
Hurt washes over me. I try my hardest to not have a reaction to his word. It's impossible. My efforts are futile and feeble. Any ounce of self-control over my emotions is thrown out the window.
"Is it so wrong that someone wants to take me out to dinner?" I can't help myself as my voice jumps an octave higher and I'm speaking loudly. I throw my arms out in defeat, dropping my bag to the floor. "Is it that hard to believe that someone might be interested in me?"
Emotion washes over Leo's face, filling his honey brown eyes as he closes the distance between us. He reaches out, cupping the side of my face. His palm warms my skin and he gently brushes the pad of his thumb against my cheek. "Your heart is an unattainable dream, Aria Reed."
My lips part, but words fail me. I can’t pull my eyes away from his. A fire burns deep within his irises, but it’s different from what I’ve seen before. Instead of lust and need, there’s a deep-seated longing mixing with twinges of sadness.
"No one on this planet is deserving of it."
Leo drops his hand away from my face. He bends down to pick up my bag and his eyes meet mine again as he stands back up. He lifts the strap over my shoulder and positions it perfectly. "Don't go out with him."
"Why not?" I ask him, my voice is barely above a whisper. I don’t fully trust my voice and the words feel unsteady on my tongue.
Leo hears the words I speak for him. He takes a step back and it feels like miles are thrust between us. He's so far away even though I could easily reach out and touch him. All it would take is just one touch…
"He doesn't deserve you."
He grabs his own bag, turning on his heel as he strides across the room to the door. Just as he pulls it open, I find my voice again. It's a challenge more than anything. A way of testing the murky waters between us. "Do you think you do?"
Leo looks at me as he pauses in the doorway. He smiles a heartbreaking smile and shakes his head. "I never said that."
He disappears through the door without another word and I'm left alone with my thoughts and the realization of Leo's actual problem.
He doesn't think he's deserving of love.
And he's determined to push away anyone who threatens that belief.