39. Mason #3
“Thanks for the ride,” I tell her, getting out. “I’m—I’m sorry again about today, and about my dad…and about the job.”
“Take care of yourself, Mason.”
I nod at her. “I’ll try.”
* * *
When I wake up, it’s dark, and I roll over on top of my sheets and groan. It’s been several days since I’ve been back to work, and my dad hasn’t said a word to me.
I just stay in this room, drink instead of eat, sleep instead of face my problems, and fake it just enough when the boys are home from camp to be present for them.
I feel around my bed, eyes half closed, until I feel the cool glass, then tip it back and don’t even bother to wipe the excess that spills onto my chest and sheets.
My thumb hits the call button before I can overthink it, because I’m weak, and every day I’ve stared at the name and wanted to call.
“Hey, stranger.”
Every ounce of tension in my body is gone the second I hear her perfect voice.
“Hey, pretty girl,” I say, trying not to slur or give away that I’ve done nothing but drink and stay drunk just to survive.
“Florida must be treating you nicely. I’ve barely heard from you all summer.”
I run a hand over my face and try to sit up. “Um, yeah. No, Florida’s been great.”
There’s a pause on her end.
“Okay, now I know you’re lying.”
“How’s North Carolina?” I ask, trying to avoid the questions. “How’s Lydia?”
“She’s good. Like, actually good. I hope it stays that way.”
“That’s good. She’s lucky to have you there.”
“Yeah, it’s been a tough ride, though. I can tell how hard it was for her at first. But now…
now seeing sober Lydia, it makes me feel a little more guilty for not seeing how bad it had gotten.
How I let myself believe she was the same as always, but being around her now, it’s made me realize just how obviously she was drowning right in front of my face, and I didn’t even see it. ”
I close my eyes. Because I know that feeling. I know what she’s describing…I’m just on the other end of it.
“You couldn’t have known everything,” I tell her softly. “But you still showed up. You still fought for her.”
It’s silent for a moment before she finally speaks again, softer this time. “Are you okay?”
I silently take another sip, holding the phone away from my face so she doesn’t hear, as if she would know what I was doing.
“Yeah.” It comes out slower than I mean it to.
I can tell she doesn’t buy it.
“Something’s off. You don’t sound like your normal self.”
I don’t feel like I even know what normal is anymore. “I’m just a little tired, that’s all. Long day at the office.”
“Hmm, well, I wish I could see you. I miss my Mason.”
That puts a smile on my face. I wish I could be hers. I wish I could be her anything.
“I wish you were here too.” I can’t help the natural flirt that’s been coming out more around her. I can’t stop myself either because it’s the one thing that makes me feel sorta alive lately. “Wish you were in these sheets with me specifically.”
There’s a silence that sits for too long, and it makes me worried that it was too much.
“I mean—”
She giggles. “Sorry, no, I was blushing too hard to speak.”
I lick my bottom lip, reining in my smirk. “You’re trouble, Edwards.”
“The best kind,” she teases.
“Don’t I know it.”
“Seriously,” she says, returning to a more caring tone. “How are things, really? I know it’s not always easy being back home for you.”
I look over, out at the large floor-to-ceiling windows in my room, out at the night sky that stretches further than anyone can see.
“It’s been, you know, the usual. The boys are growing up too fast, the house is too loud when they’re here and too quiet when they’re gone, and…
my dad hasn’t talked to me in days, so…that part’s kind of a plus. ”
“Did something happen?”
“Something always happens, what’s new? We got into it a little at work, that’s all.”
“Over what?”
I shake off the memory.
I haven’t wanted to think about it since. When I do, his words and the look on his face just end up playing on a loop in my head and make me feel like I’m drowning every time I get stuck in the thoughts.
“Nothing serious, just the same old expectations I can’t meet with him.”
“I’m sorry,” she says gently.
“It’s not that big of a deal. I leave for football camp in a week, so I don’t have to deal with it for much longer.”
“You’re taking care of yourself, right?”
I look down at the state I’m in—liquor bottles all over the floor, clothes I haven’t changed in days, and the large empty room around me that feels too ironic.
“Of course.”
“I know what would cheer you up.” There’s a hint of flirtatiousness in her voice that makes me perk up a little.
“What’s that?” I ask in a low, needy voice, feeling these stupid butterflies for this girl.
“You’ll just have to wait and see, I guess. But let’s just say a goodbye kiss has nothing on an I’ve missed you kiss.”
My eyes flutter closed thinking about my lips on hers, the way they quiet everything in my head.
“I really like this new part of our friendship,” I tell her.
She stays on the phone with me until we both pass out, and I feel like I end up sleeping better than I have the entire time I’ve been back home.