Lydia #2
“Stop that. You’re the coolest girl I know. I wish you’d let more people see that.”
We step inside and are instantly swallowed by the noise—people everywhere, dim lights, air thick with the smell of perfume, sweat, and the unmistakable scent of weed somewhere in the mix.
Katie and Harper spot us, waving us over from a leather couch where they’re squished between two guys from school. Harper jumps up to hug Simone, and Katie throws her arms around me with a warmth I’m still not used to.
“You guys took forever,” Katie says. “Simone, where’s that cute boyfriend of yours?”
“Eyes off my man,” she says playfully as she scans the crowd. “But, I don’t know. He’ll probably be here soon.”
We all head into the kitchen together, weaving past bodies and shouting over the music.
Simone hands me a cup without even looking back, and I take a sip—cheap vodka, maybe?
It burns enough that I know it’s liquor and not beer.
I honestly never drink much. I hate not feeling in control.
But sometimes, like tonight, when the grief feels a little too loud, and when my sister’s death circles my throat like a noose, a cup or two helps loosen the rope.
After drinking and talking for a while, Tyler shows up, sneaking up behind Simone and making her squeal like a little girl. They’ve been dating for over a year now—after Tyler finally got the balls to ask her out.
He kisses her neck and whispers something that makes her giggle.
“I’m gonna steal her for a bit,” he tells us with a smirk. “Hope you don’t mind.”
Simone looks over at me, hesitant. “You good?”
“I’m good,” I lie easily. “Go. I’ve got Katie and Harper.”
“Are you sure? I know tonight is—”
I wave her off. “Yes, I’m okay now. I promise.”
“Text me if you need anything,” she says, already being pulled into the crowd.
The rest of us stick together for a while, mostly just listening to Katie talk about which guy she has a crush on this week, and her and Harper going back and forth about which ones they might try to hook up with tonight.
I smile and nod, sipping on my drink until the buzzing in my ears gets louder than the conversation.
Everyone seems so light, floating through their lives like nothing weighs them down, while I feel like I’m made of stone.
“I’m gonna go grab another drink,” I tell them, slipping away before they can question me.
I don’t want another drink. I just wanna be alone for a moment. I’m trying so hard to distract myself tonight, but I can still feel the panic rising, the anxiety that follows me everywhere I go.
Thankfully, I find an empty couch in one of the back rooms of the house to claim.
There are still people everywhere, but it’s the closest thing I’m gonna get to being alone.
I just need a second to myself. I sit down, trying to breathe through the anxiety, and pull out my phone for a distraction.
I don’t even notice when two guys enter the room until one of them flops onto the couch beside me, bumping me hard enough to spill some of my drink.
“Crap,” the boy says, turning to me. “Sorry—I didn’t even see you there.”
I look up, and my breath catches in my throat.
Elijah Harrison, aka Eli.
He’s always been beautiful, but this close-up is another level.
He has perfect skin for a seventeen-year-old boy, a slightly sun-kissed tone like he spends all of his time outside, tousled black hair that has that purposely unkempt style, barely coming down to his forehead, and green eyes—sharp and soft all at once.
“You’re…wow,” he says, blinking. “You’re beautiful.”
I feel my face go hot. “Um…thanks.”
He holds my stare and smirks a little. “What’s your name?”
I’ve never really cared about boys. They’ve always seemed like a bigger headache than I wanted to deal with. But there’s something about him, and this moment, that’s drawing me in.
“Lydia,” I answer shyly.
“Nice to meet you, Lydia. I’m Eli.”
“I know.”
“You know who I am?”
I nod my head and let out a small laugh. “Yeah, we both go to Ardrey Kell.”
“You go to my school? There’s no way…I definitely wouldn’t forget a face like yours.”
“You don’t know me because I’m not popular like you are,” I tell him. “I don’t talk to many people there. I really only hang out with Katie and Harper.”
He scrunches his nose up. “Yeah, I know who they are…but it’s not for the same reason I wish I knew who you were.”
Is he flirting with me?
I can feel my heartbeat in my fingertips.
I would never normally look twice at someone like him.
He’s so clean-cut, preppy, a jock, and the kind of popular that typically would never look in my direction.
But this conversation, this feeling, whatever is happening right now…
it weirdly feels like a breath of fresh air, and I wanna hold on to that.
“And how do you wish you knew me?” I ask him.
His smile gets a little bigger, like he’s feeling what I’m feeling too, and then he shrugs. “I wish I knew you enough to have your number.”
Okay, that was kinda smooth.
“Hmm, I don’t really give my number out to strangers.”
I just want to push back enough to see if he’ll push too.
“Hey, you’re the one who said you already knew who I was,” he shoots back, raising his brows in a challenge. “Not strangers.”
“Mmm, sounds like a loophole.”
He laughs, and it’s so stupidly attractive. “What can I say?”
I press my lips together like I’m thinking about it. “I don’t know…”
“Come on…“ he playfully groans. “If I don’t get your number, I’m totally gonna end up just having to stalk you at school until I get to talk to you again. So you should just save me the embarrassment and take pity on my ego.”
I roll my eyes, but can’t help the smile on my face. “Fine, give me your phone.”
I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone try to pull out their phone so fast before, and I laugh at how cute he is.
I take his phone, and his fingers brush over mine as he hands it to me.
It sends a shiver down my back, but I don’t react otherwise.
I don’t want him to see how easily he’s affecting me right now.
I put my number in and text myself, then hand it back. He takes it slowly, holding my gaze, then I watch as he instantly goes to edit my contact information.
“What are you doing?”
He looks up, smiling at me, and I can see the deep dimples on his cheeks. “Changing your contact name. I can’t have someone like you have such a basic name in my phone.”
I look at him, confused but still smiling. “What are you changing it to?”
“Prettiest Face In My Phone, parentheses, Lydia, and then a…heart eyes emoji.”
This embarrassing laugh escapes me. “Oh my gosh, you’re so cheesy and embarrassing. And also, that’s a little long for a contact name, don’t you think?”
“I think you’re worth the extra characters.”
Just as I’m about to say something back to him, someone grabs my hand. I turn to see Simone, swaying and extra bubbly. She’s in an even better mood than when we got here, and I wonder if she and Tyler snuck off to have sex somewhere. Must be nice…to be so in love and happy while you’re young.
She tugs on my hand, pulling me off the couch. “Lydia! Come dance with us!”
I turn to look back at Eli, silently apologizing for leaving him in the middle of our conversation. He just smiles back at me, taking a sip of his drink, but never looking away, and it makes my stomach flip.
Simone twirls me into the crowd, laughing like the music is alive in her bloodstream. I feel good now. I’m loosened up, and I let the music run through me as I dance.
As I’m still dancing against Simone, I catch Eli watching me. There’s something in the way he’s looking at me, possessive, like he’s already deciding I’m his in his head.
For a second, I let myself imagine what that would feel like…to be someone’s. I’ve never been anyone’s before.