6. Lydia
Lydia
Friday comes faster than I expected, and I’m nervous as hell.
Eli just texted me, telling me he’s outside, so I rush to put on some last-minute mascara before running downstairs, telling Sarah bye on my way out.
Eli is parked on the street, windows rolled down in his red BMW.
It’s such a him car.
I wonder what it was like for him to grow up with wealth. It makes me, once again, realize just how different we are, and those insecure thoughts take over, telling me that someone like him could never actually want someone like me…not if he knew what all I really came from.
I push those thoughts aside and just tell myself to be in the moment, enjoy what’s in front of me.
And right now, that’s Eli…smiling at me from the driver’s seat, one hand on the wheel, the other draped over the passenger seat.
I watch as his eyes roam up and down my body as I walk closer to the car.
I tried to find whatever pop of color I had in my closet to wear today. I don’t know why, I guess I just didn’t want to stick out too much. I wanted to look like I belonged with him. And by the way he’s looking at me, I think he likes it.
He pops the lock, and I get into the passenger seat.
“You look…” His eyes trail over my denim mini skirt, cropped graphic tee, and oversized jacket. “Hot.”
I feel my cheeks flush at his compliment. “Thanks,” I say, trying to play it cool.
Being this close to him feels electric, like my body doesn’t know how to process how good it feels, so it’s just short-circuiting.
We see each other at school a lot now, and he’s always pretty flirty, wrapping an arm around me as he walks me to my classes, or scooting me really close to sit next to him in the lunchroom.
But there are always other people around in those scenarios.
Being this close to him now—alone—feels different.
It makes me nervous and excited all at the same time.
I try to relax and break the silence so he doesn’t think I’m being weird. “So…where are we eating?”
“Cabo Fish Taco,” he replies.
“Ohh, I’ve never been there, but I’ve always wanted to try it.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty good,” he says, glancing over at me before looking back at the road.
I wonder who he’s gone there with, if he’s taken another girl—or other girls—there before. I don’t own him or anything so I try not to think about that too much. We’re not even a couple, so I shouldn’t care about anyone from his past.
It does make me wonder about how much experience he has with other girls, though.
I have no experience with boys. I wonder if it would be weird to him if he knew I’ve never done anything with a guy, not even kiss.
I’m almost sixteen, and I’ve never kissed a boy before.
Yeah, I’m that kind of weird, and he’s the guy with probably more than a few exes in his lineup.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks, noticing my silence.
I didn’t realize I zoned out, but I can’t tell him what I was actually thinking about. “Um, nothing. Just excited, that’s all.”
“Lydia, you can tell me anything…I like to hear what’s going on in your head.”
I don’t think he wants to know all the thoughts that fill my head some days, but it’s sweet that he cares. “I was just thinking…nothing, it’s nothing.”
He reaches over, placing a hand on my thigh, and I almost jolt from the contact. “Tell me.”
“It’s weird…and stupid, and kinda embarrassing.”
“So? I still wanna know.”
“Ugh,” I laugh, trying to make it seem less weird. “I was just wondering if you’ve been on a date…here before…with anyone else.”
We come to a stoplight, and he looks over at me again. “I’ve been on dates before, yes. To this place particularly? Probably…”
My heart sinks a little. I don’t know why it stings thinking about him sharing the same space he’s taking me to with another girl.
“But,” he continues, “that’s not what I’m thinking about now. I’m thinking about going on this date…with you.”
“Yeah.” I don’t know what else to say as I look out of the window and get quite.
“I like that you’re a little jealous,” he says, smirking
I glare at him. “I’m not jealous.”
Maybe a little.
“It’s okay. I wouldn’t like thinking about you on dates with other guys.”
I smirk back at him now. “So you’re the jealous one?” I tease.
“Definitely.”
The way he says it makes my heart skip. Him being jealous when it comes to me feels…good?
“Well, no need to worry about that,” I tell him. “I’ve actually never even been on a date before.”
“Really?” he asks, surprised. “That’s hard to believe.”
“Why?”
“‘Cause you’re hot, and really cool. Who wouldn’t wanna date you?”
“I think you might be the only one who thinks that.”
“Lydia, every guy at school talks about how hot you are to me since we’ve been hanging out. It actually pisses me off sometimes, and I have to stop myself from punching them. I’m constantly telling them to stop looking at you.”
I don’t know how to feel about that. It’s strange to think about anyone talking about me being anything other than the freak around school.
When we get to the restaurant, we have to park a couple of blocks away and walk over. Eli makes me stand on the inside of the sidewalk, telling me he doesn’t want me close to the road, that the man should always stand on the outside. I think it’s cute how protective he is.
He opens the door when we get there, and it’s pretty packed. We get a seat, then get started with drinks and appetizers while we wait for our food.
“I…really like you, Lydia.”
His words catch me off guard, and I fumble with my chip as I go to put it in my mouth.
He laughs a little. “You’re different, and…pretty cool.”
I wipe my mouth, making sure I don’t have any food on it. “I, uh…thank you…I like you a lot, too.”
“Do you like me in the same way, though?”
“What other way is there to like someone?” I ask him, confused.
“Like, in the way that I’d want to make you my girlfriend.”
My mouth drops open a little in shock, but I quickly try to keep a neutral face and not embarrass myself. “You want to make me your girlfriend?”
He nods, and my heart starts to beat faster. “Do you want to be?”
Of course I do…but does he know what he’s signing up for?
“Yeah,” I say nervously. “But…are you sure?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“‘Cause I’m the weird foster care girl in town. I don’t really fit in if you haven’t noticed.”
“I like that you’re different. I like that you’re not stuck up like most of the girls at our school. I like you, Lydia.”
I can’t help the smile on my face, and he smiles back at me like he knows how he’s making me feel.
“I just…don’t want people to have a reason to talk about you or make fun of you for dating me.”
Eli reaches across the table and takes both of my hands in his. “Well, now that you’re my girlfriend, I won’t let anyone talk badly about you. And I don’t care what they have to say about me anyway.”
I can feel myself blushing. “You’re my boyfriend,” I say, scrunching my nose up playfully.
He scrunches his back. “I am…and I like hearing you say it.”
The rest of dinner was perfect. Good conversation, good food, and a good guy…who’s now my boyfriend?
How crazy is that?
I have a boyfriend.
I want to scream with happiness on the inside. I want to shove it in everyone’s face who’s ever talked shit to me.
When we pull back up to my house, Eli parks on the street. He turns the car off and faces me, taking his seat belt off.
“I had fun with you tonight,” he says.
“Me too,” I say back quietly.
He brushes some hair behind my ear and moves his fingers along my jaw. “Can…I kiss you, Lydia?”
I don’t even have to think about it. It’s all I’ve wanted him to do since the night we met.
I nod, and he doesn’t hesitate to kiss me.
I thought I would be scared of this moment, but Eli makes me feel weirdly calm. I feel more confident around him for some reason. I don’t think I could have imagined a better way to have my first kiss.
It’s slow at first, like he’s still making sure it’s okay, and I instantly feel all the butterflies, electricity, and that spark people always talk about.
It feels like that scene in Ratatouille where he’s trying the cheese and the strawberry, and starts seeing fireworks.
When Eli’s lips touch mine, it feels like the sparks flying after he takes a bite of the cheese.
And when he swipes his tongue across mine, it feels like even more sparks, like when he takes a bite of the strawberry.
And then it all comes together in this perfect harmony, like when he takes a bite of both of them at the same time, fireworks shooting everywhere in his mind.
That’s what it feels like kissing Eli.
He moves his hand to the back of my head, tangling his fingers into my hair. It sends goosebumps down my back and all over my body. I understand why people constantly chase this feeling now. It’s addicting.
He’s addicting.
When he pulls back, I feel out of breath, like I just got off the most exhilarating ride, and he keeps his hand in my hair, just looking at me for a moment longer.
“You’re so beautiful.”