Chapter Eight Kami #2
“Nothing!” I couldn’t believe this was happening. “And Julian, can you shut up? You’re only making this worse.”
“I’m just trying to defend you!” he said.
“I don’t need anyone to defend me!” Was everybody at this damn party out of their minds?
“You could fool me,” Julian responded.
“To hell with this shit,” Taylor said, “I’m out of here.” He walked past us and vanished into the people dancing in the living room. I tried to follow him, but Julian grabbed my arm and held it tight.
“Kam, stop letting people string you along.”
Trying to break free, I pleaded, “Why don’t you stop telling me what to do?”
“You look pathetic.”
By now, I was furious. “Do you hear yourself?” I asked him. “You’re supposed to be my friend!”
“I am? That’s news, because I care about you, but you sure don’t seem to care about me! Friendship is a two-way street, you know.”
He was right. I had been so focused on my own problems I’d almost forgotten the rest of the world existed. “I’m sorry, Julian,” I said. “You’re right. I’m just having a tough time right now, and…”
“Honey, I know.” He pulled me into a hug, a little too close, a little too tight. But it was Julian, he was gay, he couldn’t have feelings for me. Could he?
“And I’m here for you.”
I took a step back once he let his arms slacken. “I appreciate that, Julian, but just let me come to you instead of trying to solve my problems for me.”
“Kam, you need help. I’m the only friend you have left.”
Was that true? I looked at all the people dancing and sweating. Everyone was with someone. Everyone was having a blast. Then there was me. I looked around for Ellie. There she was again. With Danny. What the hell was going on? “I appreciate the offer, but I’m fine,” I said and walked off.
I got another glass of punch, but my stomach told me I’d better lay off. I looked for Taylor, but he had vanished, and so had Ellie, and I didn’t want to think about what she might be doing. As for Julian, I don’t know. He was just rubbing me the wrong way.
I didn’t fit in there. I knew that now. Not that I hadn’t suspected it before, but that sudden sensation of being totally out of place was painful, especially since my boyfriend had supposedly organized the party for me.
People were staring at me, I could tell.
And they enjoyed seeing me squirm, watching how no one came to my rescue.
On the other side of the room, Kate took a drink and whispered something to Marissa, who glared at me and laughed. I turned, ready to walk out the front door and go home, but then I saw them.
Danny and Ellie.
Kissing.
Kissing passionately by the column next to the door. Ellie’s hands were wrapped around his neck, and he had his hands under her shirt.
I felt like I was drowning. So I turned back, grabbed a bottle, and walked upstairs.
I was desperate to get away from those people.
I couldn’t handle feeling their eyes on me, being reminded over and over how they had all betrayed me or ignored me.
Once upstairs, the memories overwhelmed me.
I saw the door to Lucy’s room, and I wanted to break down and cry.
I went to Taylor’s door, directly across from Thiago’s, and knocked.
I opened the door; the room was empty but just then the door across the hall flew open.
“Hey, nobody can fucking be up here!” Thiago shouted in exasperation, but when he saw it was just me his anger faded. Had he been sleeping? How could he with all that racket downstairs?
I noticed he wasn’t wearing a shirt, and his Adidas track pants hung low on his hips, revealing his sculpted abs and obliques.
God, he’s ripped, I thought, tearing my eyes away.
When I looked up, I saw the surprised look in his green eyes.
“If you’re looking for my brother,” he said, “he’s out in the yard acting like a jerkoff. ”
I hadn’t even considered going outside in the freezing cold. “I just wanted to be alone for a minute,” I said.
“You OK?”
“Yeah, great,” I replied, stumbling. That punch was really strong.
“Great and drunk, I see. How much have you had?”
“Dunno.”
“Why’d you leave the party?”
“No one wants me there. I’m an outcast now.”
“Kamila, you’re anything but.”
“How come you don’t call me Kam anymore?”
“I do sometimes.”
“You used to do it always.”
“Back then you didn’t piss me off the way you do now,” he said.
“Why would you be pissed at me now?”
“Have you seen yourself?”
“Every day in the mirror, why?”
“You’re wasted.”
I stepped toward him and tripped over my own feet; he reached out to catch me.
“I just had a couple glasses of punch,” I said.
“One glass of that poison is enough for a whole night.”
As he pulled me up, I felt my stomach churning, and I brought my hand to my mouth to keep myself from vomiting.
“Kamila, for fuck’s sake,” he said, pulling me directly into his bathroom. I managed to fall on my knees and lift the toilet lid just before I started vomiting. It was like the girl in The Exorcist.
“I’m going to kill Taylor,” Thiago muttered, holding my hair back until I’d gotten the last drop of alcohol out of my body.