Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
CHRISTINE
When I got the house a few weeks ago, it felt like it would never come together. It was such a daunting task, starting over from scratch.
Turns out, when you have no life, it goes by pretty fast.
I’ve spent the most time on Casey’s room, despite the likelihood of his interests changing before the end of the year, but I guess that’s the fun part. It’s the one room in the house in a constant state of change. A blank canvas to play with over and over.
For now, the walls are covered in dinosaurs and shelves upon shelves of his monster trucks. And no matter how many times I tweak the organization, the hands on the clock have barely budged.
I could go to yoga and listen to whispers behind my back for an hour. Or I could sit in a coffee shop while the surrounding tables blatantly stare. Or I could do something monumentally stupid like get drunk in a dive bar in the middle of the afternoon, then somehow find myself in bed with a friend of my former stepson.
I’m already the laughingstock of the town. At that point they’d probably print me in the newspaper— Local Gold-Digging Whore Turned Cougar .
Maybe the worst thing about all of my so-called friends falling off the map is…it’s not at all surprising. I’ve seen them turn on other women in town for less.
I was never under the illusion that those relationships were anything more than convenience. Our kids go to the same schools, we frequent the same yoga studio, our husbands golf together, we’re members of the same country club. We were bound to run into each other, so we might as well band together.
But it was never deeper than that. And maybe I liked it that way. It’s what I’m used to, at least.
In high school, no one wanted to be friends with the girl who barely showered. My mom scared off my childhood friends—or their parents, at least—early on. And after I ran away from home, I didn’t stay in one place long enough to form any meaningful relationships.
People come and go. That’s just the way life is.
After the tenth time rearranging the trucks, I force myself out of Casey’s room with a huff. I can’t keep hiding away in this house with nothing to do for days on end. I already feel like I’m losing my damn mind.
When the time to pick up Casey from skate camp rolls around, I hesitate in my car in the parking lot, watching as the other parents collect their kids. A few come and go with little fanfare—just a wave goodbye and straight to the car. Most hang around, high-fiving their kids, watching as they show off their new skills, and talking to the two camp teachers.
The ones I can’t stop staring at.
Casey is grinning ear to ear beside a small brunette girl as Liam crouches down to talk to them.
Fletcher smiles along as parents pull him this way and that with a kind of ease that leads me to believe he’s done this tons of times before. None of the kids—not a single one—leaves without saying goodbye to him in one way or another. A hug, a high five, a secret handshake. Half the parents practically have to drag their kids away.
He’s so…in his element.
I climb out of the car before they can notice me staring and realize Liam’s girlfriend, Gracie, is here too. She hangs back a few feet as she gathers the elbow and knee pads and stuffs them in a bag. She looks adorable with her curly blond space buns and overalls. Standing next to Liam—dressed in all black and tattooed from head to toe—the two of them are perfect opposites that somehow make complete sense.
“Mom!” Casey jumps up and down and waves his board around. “Can I show you my new trick? Oh, and this is my new friend Erin.” He points at the girl beside him.
“I’d love to see it. Hi, Erin. It’s very nice to meet you.”
She shrinks away from the attention but smiles. I brace myself as I meet the eyes of the woman I’m assuming is her mother, but she smiles warmly, no trace of the judgment I’ve grown accustomed to these past few weeks.
“He was the first in the class to get it today, actually.”
A jolt of electricity runs through me at Fletcher’s voice. Finally, I force myself to meet his eyes. He smiles, everything about it light, casual. Like he hasn’t been inside of me. Like he hasn’t been dreading this moment all day the way I have, and he probably hasn’t. He has nothing to feel uncomfortable about. I’m the one who got myself in this weird fucking situation.
Casey runs along and hops on his board. I clench my hands into fists and fight the urge to cover my eyes. He’s covered head to toe in pads, but that’s still concrete under him and?—
He skates along for a few moments, and once his board has basically lost momentum by itself, he pops one side up to brake.
He looks at me over his shoulder with a proud grin.
“Wow!” I beam and crouch down as he comes running over.
“See you tomorrow, Casey!” calls Erin as she and her mom turn for the parking lot.
Casey waves with more enthusiasm than I’ve ever seen from him when it comes to other kids.
“She seems nice,” I say lightly.
“She’s really cool! She did a surfing camp with Fletcher too. I want to do that one next!”
“Oh, did she?” I try not to let the absolute horror show on my face. First the death-on-wheels on concrete, now the ocean? This kid is going to give me a heart attack. Whatever happened to the crayons and googly eyes at art camp?
I can’t help it. I glance at Fletcher. He teaches surf camp too? I know for a fact Liam doesn’t surf, so it sounds like Liam’s the one who got roped into this skating camp, not the other way around like I’d thought, for some reason.
How many of these kinds of things does he do?
“I’m so glad to see you!” says Gracie, a little out of breath as she finishes tying off the huge equipment bags. “I’m planning this party for a friend of mine, and that was kind of your thing, right? I just remember how great a job you did at my parents’ Thanksgiving last year, and then the whole Smart Sweets event… Anyway, any chance you’d want to help out? It’s for next weekend. I totally get if that’s too last minute, and you probably have so much going on?—!”
Liam lays a hand on her arm, his lips quivering like he’s fighting a smile. “Let her answer,” he says under his breath.
Gracie folds her lips together and smiles.
“I—yeah. I’d love to help.”
Party planning sounds like the first fun thing that’s come up in…well, I don’t know how long. And it’s not like I don’t have plenty of time to kill these days.
Gracie beams. “Oh my God, that would be amazing. Are you free tomorrow? Maybe we could grab a coffee?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“You’re a party planner?” Fletcher asks.
“Oh.” I wave a hand in front of my face. “Not officially or anything.”
Liam turns the corners of his mouth down as he hefts one of the bags over his shoulder. “Wouldn’t be a bad idea. Gracie’s right. You always do a good job with them. See you tomorrow, Christine. Bye, Case.”
“Bye, Liam! Bye, Gracie!”
Gracie offers Casey a little wave before going for the other equipment bag. Liam shoos her away before she can try to lift it and throws it over his other shoulder.
Then somehow it’s just me, Casey, and Fletcher left.
I clear my throat and extend my hand toward Casey. “All right, buddy. We should get going.”
Casey takes my hand with a reluctant sigh. “Will you stay and watch me tomorrow? Lots of the moms stay.”
“Oh, yeah?”
I bite my lip. I’ve seen the moms he’s talking about hanging out in the nearby picnic tables. And I know I shouldn’t let them be the reason I don’t show up for my kid. I don’t know what would be worse, sitting with them, or giving them something else to talk about by sitting alone.
Casey stares up at me expectantly.
“Shh.” Fletcher bends down to Casey’s level and puts one finger to his lips. “If she sees how much everyone falls while they’re practicing, she might get scared and not let you come back.”
Casey whips toward me. “I never fall, Mom. Never.”
I meet Fletcher’s eyes over his head. He’s trying to give me an out. He must think I just don’t want to be here because of him.
Casey sighs and tugs my hand toward the car, his little shoulders deflated in a way that makes my heart drop. “Never mind.”
“No, Casey! I want to come. I might not be able to stay for the whole time, but I’ll definitely come early to pick you up and sit and watch for a while first, okay?”
“End’s the best part to be here for anyway,” offers Fletcher. “It’s when we practice all the new things we learned, right, Case?”
He perks back up. “You promise?”
I squeeze his fingers, my eyes somehow still on Fletcher’s. “Promise.”