17. Off to a Bad Start
”NOT EVEN LIP gloss?” Piper stares at me across the front seat of my Jeep, jaw slack, the spongy tipped wand of the glistening shit she was about to swipe across her lips hanging from her fingers. ”Are you serious?”
As I expected, she”s still trying to wrap her brain around the full extent of the rules she”s gotta follow. I don”t blame her, there’s a lot to remember. But everyone is counting on me to make sure she understands and plays along, so I have to piss on her parade no matter how much I want to let her do whatever she wants. ”Not when we’re outside of the hotel room.” I reach into the console between us and fish out my tube of plain Chapstick, offering it up. ”This is it when there”s a chance someone can see us.”
She lets out a dramatic sigh, recapping her hoped-for bit of makeup and shoving it into the glove compartment, before stealing my Chapstick and smearing it across her mouth. ”How do these women not see how fucking stupid these rules are?”
”Some of them don”t, but lots of them do.” I grip the steering wheel a little tighter, the frustration I knew would come with this trip mounting. ”But where in the fuck are they going to go? Most of them have nothing but a half-assed homeschool education and have been so sheltered they don”t really know how to exist outside of the world they”ve been raised in.” I force my fingers to relax, knowing my behavior this weekend is just as important as Piper’s. If I can’t get myself under control, I’ll be the one who outs us. ”It seems like it would be an easy decision to walk away, but it”s not.” I glance at her. ”Look at Myra.”
Lydia”s sister is a perfect example of how difficult the process is, and how it doesn’t end just because you’re out. She was lucky enough to have people ready to support her on the outside. A whole group showing her how to navigate her new life. And she’s still flailing. Still struggling to move forward.
“I wish we could save them all.” Piper slumps down in her seat, lower lip pushing out. She”s been with Myra every day since we got her out. But more than that, she’s been Lydia”s friend for over a year now—practically since Lydia made her own escape. I know Piper understands. I know she gets it. That”s why I”m sure she can do this with me.
I also know she”s not gonna fucking like it, because sometimes things like this don’t go as you planned.
“Not all of them want to be saved. And sometimes the ones who say they do change their mind once they have time to think about it.” I meet her gaze. “You need to be prepared for that possibility.”
Piper shakes her head, refusing to believe what I’m saying. “No. No way. They’ve put in too much work. They have passports and a place to go. They won’t back out now.”
I turn back to the road, an old, aging ache digging into my gut. “That doesn’t always matter, Sugar. They can have it all waiting for them and still back out if you don’t move them the second they decide.”
The weight of Piper’s gaze rests on me. I can feel it almost as tangibly as a touch. “If that happens, I’ll talk to them. Make them understand how much they need to leave.”
She sounds hopeful, and I don”t want to take that from her, but I have to. ”That”s not how this works, and you know it.”
I wish it was, but it”s not. ”You can”t make someone leave if they”re not ready. And trying to convince a woman who’s changed her mind will be the fastest way for us to be discovered. There’s a chance she’ll tell her husband, and then we won’t be able to help any of them.” I know how quickly a group like this works to remove anyone they deem a threat to their way of living.
Piper’s head falls back against the seat and her eyes roll toward the ceiling. ”I know.” She lets out a frustrated groan. ”I just don”t like the thought of women feeling trapped.”
”Would it help if I told you not all of them feel trapped?”
Her head rolls my way, expression sour. ”No. Because that just means they don”t even know how oppressed they are.”
”Is it oppression if they agree with it?” It”s so easy to try to push your own thoughts and beliefs on someone else. Even easier when it’s someone you care about. I”ve done it, and it didn”t end well.
”I just don”t understand how they wouldn’t see it for what it is.”
Piper”s voice is so soft and out of character it makes my head snap her way. What I see makes my chest tight. She looks haunted. Stricken by an emotion I know well. I”ve never doubted Piper carries her own pain. Her own past. But for the first time I wonder if maybe my demons might align with hers.
But she doesn”t give me the chance to press deeper. Her face tips away from mine, dropping down as she thumbs across the screen of her cell. ”Are we almost there?”
I understand the need to change the subject, so I let it happen. For now. “We’ll be pulling up to the hotel in about ten minutes.”
Piper nods, and continues scrolling, falling silent for the remainder of the trip.
I glance her way occasionally, still trying to come to terms with the change in the woman beside me. Not just in the physical sense—though seeing Piper in a long denim skirt and a more than modest top has been wild—but in her temperament. She”s been more reserved than normal this trip. With the exception of the lip gloss conversation, she’s been quiet and calm and accepting of what she has to be while we’re here.
I don”t fucking like it. I don”t like seeing her forced to temper who she is. It makes me want to pick a fight with her the second we’re in the safety of our room, just so I can see the real her. Know she’s still there.
”Oh shit.” Piper’s eyes widen out the windshield as we reach the hotel. ”This place is freaking packed.”
”That”s probably a good thing. Makes it less likely anyone will notice us.” I grew up a lot like these people, but it”s been a long time since I”ve had to act like it, and Piper’s not the only one I”m concerned will give us away. My own anger and disdain for these kinds of organizations run deep, and masking it is going to be hard as hell.
I pull up to the curb, getting in line behind two other cars. After shifting into park, I turn to Piper. ”You stay here. Don”t look at anyone. Don”t talk to anyone.” I keep my tone serious, hoping she understands how important this first impression is. “I”ll go check us in.”
Piper”s eyes drift out her window, locking onto where a group of men stand, talking loudly on the sidewalk.
”Eyes on me, wife.” My tone is sharp because I know that”s what it takes to get her attention. When they come my way, their dark depths are filled with the fire I”ve missed. I can”t help but smile, a little relieved to know it’s still there. ”Good girl. It”s not going to be easy, but I need you to listen to me. Always. I don”t know what will happen if someone figures us out, but I”m not expecting it to be a simple removal from the premises.”
Piper’s brows pinch together, like it hadn”t occurred to her what might happen to us if someone discovers what we’re here for. ”What do you mean?”
I lower my voice, just in case the men outside can hear, even though they haven’t even glanced our way. ”I mean, this event is an attempt to bring people into the group, and discovering we’re here to take people out won”t go over well.” I lean closer, holding her gaze so she understands. ”Especially if they figure out we”re the ones responsible for sending so many of their people to prison.”
Instead of looking afraid, Piper’s lips curve. “We did do that, didn’t we?”
Her smile and the pride it carries is contagious, and soon I’m grinning along with her. “Yes, we fucking did.”
She sits a little taller in her seat. “And now we’re going to take even more of them away.”
“Yes, we fucking are.” Without thinking I lean across the seat and press a quick kiss to her lips. “I’ll be back.”
She blinks at me, looking stunned as I climb out and close her in. I try not to fidget with my pressed khakis or crisp button-up as I stride to the entrance, head up, doing my best to look friendly and excited to be here.
It”s not as hard as it would have been when I first pulled up. Not now that Piper’s given me an accidental peptalk. And not now that I”ve seen the excitement and determination in her eyes. I want this for all the women we came here to help, but I also want it for her. I want her to know she helped these women, because it”s clearly important to her.
Just like it”s important to me. Hopefully not for the same reasons, but I”m beginning to suspect they might be close.
I wait my turn at the front desk, offering up my name and credit card when I finally get there. Luckily I was not directly linked to what happened with Lydia”s father and brother, so there”s no reason anyone here would be alarmed if they heard it. I could”ve gotten my hands on a fake ID, but it would”ve complicated things further, and the situation is difficult enough as it is.
Once I have our room number and key, I go back out to find Piper still inside the SUV. And while she”s not overtly staring at anyone, she is sneaking peaks here and there. Not enough to call attention to herself, but hopefully she”s starting to get a lay of the land.
I get back behind the wheel, and shift into drive, taking us away from the crowded entrance. Thankfully our room is located near the side entry point, so hopefully that will make it easier for us to come and go without having to be on guard every second. After parking, we unload our luggage, and I wheel it across the lot. Piper walks close beside me, but she keeps giving me odd glances.
”What”s wrong?” I know she”s got a million questions—there was only so much we could do to prepare her—so I want to give her as much as I can. The more she knows, the better off we”ll both be.
Plus, it”s been nice being able to interact with her without fighting. Strange, but nice.
”I just feel bad not rolling my own suitcase.” Her concerned gaze goes to where her bag rolls behind me. ”I don”t get why these women can’t handle their own suitcase when they’re expected to do just about everything else.”
I”m grinning again in spite of everything pressing down on me. ”I’m not carrying your suitcase because of that.” I pause as I tug each bag over the tiny curb leading to the sidewalk. ”I”m carrying your bag because that”s how it should be regardless.”
Piper rolls her eyes. It’s a move I will eventually have to tell her she can”t do, but for now I enjoy it. ”How very caveman of you.”
I laugh, enjoying the jab. ”If it makes you feel better, I”ll let you hold the door open for me.”
Piper’s shoulders square a little. ”Actually, it does.” She swipes the key across the sensor beside the door, waiting for the lot to click open before pulling it and holding it wide. ”After you, husband.”
It”s the first time she”s used that word, and I”m surprised at how much it affects me. So many of the men I”ve come to think of as brothers have become husbands, and I”ve seen how it”s changed them. The peace it”s brought.
But hearing Piper call me husband does not bring me peace. It elicits an entirely different response. One I”ve sworn not to indulge during this trip. I know how slippery the slope of getting physical with Piper is and the distraction it causes both of us. We need to be focused on our task, not on how fucking good we are together.
Gritting my teeth, I go past her, rolling both our bags into the closest elevator before punching the button for our floor. The doors open to reveal a group waiting on the other side. Their eyes all turn our way, and this show has started.
One of the men points my direction. ”Are you here for the gathering?”
I step through the doors, nerves twisting my gut as I settle the bags in front of me. It takes everything in me not to turn to see what Piper’s doing, but I manage to keep my attention on him. ”We are. You too?”
”Us too.” He shoves one hand my direction. ”I”m Rick.” He grips my palm in a firm shake, thumbing over one shoulder at the men behind him, introducing each of them by name before motioning at the women at the back of the group. ”Those are our wives.”
The dismissive way he lumps them together as if their identities don”t matter grates, and I”m already struggling to keep my smile, but I have to do it. ”I”m Tate.” I jerk my chin in the direction I hope Piper is standing. ”This is my wife.”
I try to leave it at that. Do my best to keep her as irrelevant as the women across from me.
But I can’t fucking do it, and her name slides free. ”Piper.”
I hear her suck in a quiet breath behind me, making it clear Myra prepared her to be essentially the nameless female at my side. There to do nothing more than look pretty, humble, and subservient.
But that”s not who she is—not who I ever want her to be—and it fucking pisses me off to think anyone would expect that.
Rick gives me a nod, continuing to ignore Piper the same way he”s essentially ignoring the women with them. ”Good to meet you.” He reaches out to grab the elevator before the doors slide closed. ”We’re heading down to the dinner. We”ll see you there?”
Fucking hell. I was really hoping to have tonight to acclimate, but it doesn”t look like that”s going to be the case. ”Definitely. As soon as we get settled, we’ll head that way.” Again, I add Piper into my plans, maybe not by name, but I still include her.
Rick gives me a fleeting look, before loading into the elevator with the rest of his friends, wives filing in last, standing quietly against one side.
I lift a wave as the doors close, miraculously holding my smile until they seal shut. The second I’m out of sight, my shoulders slump.
Piper comes in close beside me, her dark eyes searching my face. ”I thought you weren”t supposed to introduce me by name.”
I rake one hand through my hair, frustrated with myself. ”I”m not.” I grab the handles of our suitcases and turn, going in the direction of our room. I need space. I need privacy.
I need her. The real her.
Piper stays quiet, following me off to one side. I pause outside our room and she uses the key card to open it, once again holding the door for me as I come through with our bags. The second the door clicks shut, I start to pace, trying to expend some of the anger bubbling through my gut.
Piper watches me for a few laps before stepping in my path, her hands pressing against my chest. ”Stop.”
I stare down at her, unable to hide the struggle happening within me. ”This is fucking ridiculous.”
One corner of her mouth tips up in a half smile. ”I know, but we have to do it anyway.” She steps closer, eyes holding mine. ”If I can pretend to be docile and subservient, then you can pretend to be an asshole.”
I look over her face, finally beginning to find a little of the calm I need so desperately. ”I”m flattered you think I”d have to pretend to be an asshole.”
Piper rolls her eyes again. ”Now you”re putting words in my—”
Her retort cuts off when I grab her chin, bringing her attention back to me. ”I like your fire, wife.” I inch in a little closer, breathing deep, desperate for another hit of her. ”But for now, you can only roll those pretty eyes at me like that in this room.”