23. Some Offers are Made to be Refused
“IF YOU REALLY appreciate me, then you want me to be happy, right?”
Piper’s trying to trick me. She’s not being very sneaky about it, but that’s not really her style. “I know where you’re going with this, Sugar, and your argument isn’t going to fly.”
I move closer, knowing how easy it is to distract her. It’s one of my favorite things about her. “I think you’re just tired and a little grumpy and you’ll feel so much better if you let me wash your hair and paint your toenails and eat that sweet pussy of yours until you fall asleep.”
Her skin flushes, but she doesn’t melt the way she normally would at the suggestion. “If I fall asleep while you’re doing that, you’re doing it wrong.” She lifts her chin. “What if we make a deal instead?”
I shake my head. “No dice. This isn’t something you can negotiate.”
Piper gives me a one shouldered shrug. “Fine then.” I know her well enough to know she”s not giving up, but what she says next stops me in my tracks. “If I can”t touch you, then I’m going to have to say you can”t touch me either.”
I blink, not quite sure I”ve heard her right. “What?”
Piper lifts both hands along with her shoulders in a more pronounced shrug. She blows out a breath and shakes her head like there”s no alternatives available in the situation. “I understand where you”re coming from, really I do.” She gives me a sweet smile. “Which is why I’ve decided if I can”t touch you, then you”re not going to get to touch me.” The angle of her lips tilts into a sly slant. “It”s only fair.”
“I —” I don”t know what to say to that. Never in my life has a woman rejected my offer of pleasure without reciprocation. Not a single fucking time. “I don”t think you understand what I”m offering you, Sugar.”
Piper”s brows lift and she nods, face a mask of complete sweetness. “I do understand. You want me to lay in bed and do nothing.” She holds up one hand and starts counting her fingers as she lists out her grievances. “I don”t get to touch you. I don”t get to lick you. I don”t get to suck you. And I sure as hell don”t get to choke on your cock.” Her hand tucks into her armpit as both arms cross over her chest. “You”re the one who doesn”t seem to be understanding what I”m saying.”
I hold her glare as I rock my jaw from side to side. “I can”t do what you want, Piper.”
“You don”t know that because you haven”t even tried.” She looks me up and down. “Maybe if you”d given it a shot just once, I might believe you when you say you can”t do it.” She shrugs yet again, but this time the motion is much more exaggerated. “But you haven”t, so I don”t.”
I don”t want to have this argument. I”m exhausted. Ready to get my hands on her and hear the sounds I drag through her lips. I”m ready to watch her come undone as many times as I can manage and then fall asleep next to her knowing I”ve given her all I can. But I can tell from the set of Piper’s jaw and the squaring of her shoulders, she’s not gonna give this up. She”s made up her mind, and no one will be able to change it. Especially me.
Normally I love how stubborn she is. Love the way she digs in and fights tooth and nail for what she wants. It”s one of the main reasons I know she”s mine. But I wish she was just a little more agreeable right now.
Blowing out a breath, I drop my head, letting it fall forward as I try to digest the truth. Piper”s right. I do want to make her happy. I do want to give her what she wants. But what she wants is going directly against what I need. Not want. Need.
To my surprise, Piper comes closer, her hands soft as they smooth up the center of my chest. “I know this is hard for you. I know how much you need to prove to yourself you aren”t like your father.”
My head snaps up, eyes meeting hers.
Piper gives me a smile just as gentle as her touch. “Why do you look so surprised? It doesn”t take a rocket scientist to figure out what”s going on.” She strokes over my skin, following a path across my shoulders and down my arms, hooking her hands around my wrists to pull my arms to her back. “But here”s the thing, you couldn”t be like him even if you wanted to.” Her eyes move over my face, expression earnest. “This whole time, I thought I was the one who would struggle to be around the IGL people, but it was miserable for you. You can’t understand how men can be like that. It drove you fucking crazy seeing me have to pretend to be something I’m not.” Her hands lift to my face, palms pressing against my cheeks. “And if you”re not letting me touch you out of some sort of fucked-up self-inflicted punishment for shit you haven”t even done, then I’m about to be real freaking mad.”
She leans into me, looping her arms around my neck. “I don”t know if I”ve ever told you this, but I get a little out of pocket when I get mad. And chances are good I will drive to wherever the fuck you came from so I can start setting things on fire to make myself feel better.” She pushes up on her toes, brushing her lips against mine. “So maybe, instead of that, we can take a little baby step.” Her lips make another pass over mine. “What if you let me make you feel just a little bit good. See what you think. If it”s as torturous and miserable as you seem to think it will be, I won”t inflict that sort of trauma on you ever again.” She leans back, lifting her brows. “Deal?”
Rejecting her offer should be easy, but Piper’s read on the situation means she can see right through me. That means she knows that deep down there’s nothing I want more in this world than for her to touch me. To reach for me. To show me that wanting those things doesn’t make me the monster I’ve been running from my whole life.
I drop my forehead to hers, breathing deep. “I just don’t want you to think—”
“I know what you don’t want me to think, and you know damn well I don’t think that.” Her dark eyes roll up to meet mine. “And it’s not really me you’re worried about, is it?”
Once again, she’s proving just how well she sees me. Just how well she understands the fucked-up parts of me. “I can’t let myself be like them, Piper. I can’t.”
“That’s good, because you couldn’t be like them if you tried.” Her expression grows stern. “And you did try, remember?” Her lips twitch into a hint of a smile. “You were terrible at it.”
A little of my fear ebbs at the reminder, the emotion replaced by anger. “I didn’t like seeing you have to be like that.”
Her whole face lights up. “And that’s why I can promise you have nothing to worry about.” Her arms unwind from my neck, hands sliding back over my chest. “I could crawl under your desk at the shop and suck your dick every day and you would still never be anything like them.”
I groan at the visual she’s put in my head, unable to stop my body’s reaction to her words.
“I could give you a handjob in the shower before we leave every morning, and not a single person would ever compare you to those men.” Her touch roams lower, fingers brushing over the waistband of my jeans. “Do you know why?”
I’m caught up in the picture she’s painting for me. Not just of the things she wants to do to me, but the setting she’s put them in. Us being together. In my shop. In my home. Showering together. Sleeping together. Working together. And I want more. More of how she sees our future. More of how she sees us.
“Why?”
“Because healthy relationships aren’t one-sided.” She flips the button of my pants open and slowly lowers the zipper. “We’ve both seen what happens when they are, and it’s held us back.” Piper’s warm fingers brush over the patch of skin just above the waistband of my underwear. “And I don’t want to hold back with you. I definitely don’t want you to hold back with me.”
I suck in a breath as she dips her hand under the elastic, sliding down to grip the length of my straining cock. It tests my strength and my willpower, just like everything else she does.
I’ve been touched before on occasion, but I always made sure the contact was short-lived and fleeting. Made sure I never used a woman in any way. So this—allowing Piper to touch me how she wants—goes against everything I’ve always done. It breaks the rule I laid down to ensure I never looked in the mirror and saw my worst nightmare staring back at me.
I groan when her grip tightens, working my length as much as she can within the confines of my jeans. The motion snaps me out of the stupor she”s lulled me into, and I slide both hands to her back, unhooking the clasp of her bra before dragging it down her arms and leaving it to dangle at the wrist peeking out of my jeans.
Her pants are next, and I make quick work of shoving them down. I want to touch her as much as I want her touching me, so as soon as they”ve cleared her hips, my hand is between her thighs, fingers dragging along her slit. I groan again, both from the feel of her on my hand, and the feel of her around my cock. “You”re already wet, Sugar.”
Piper makes a soft sound as she rocks against my fingers. “I like touching you.” She growls and yanks her hand out of my pants, gripping the layers at my hips and fighting them lower until my cock is fully free. She starts to drop to her knees, but I stop her.
Her eyes roll up to mine, narrowed in anger. “Seriously?”
I heft her up, bringing her body flush with mine. “We”ve been on the road for two days, so, no, I’m not gonna let you suck my dick until I get my ass in the shower.” I kick away my pants, keeping one arm around her waist as I tug at my shirt, only letting her go for a second so I can toss it away. Then I haul her under the spray of water with me, the slickness of her skin against mine giving me all sorts of ideas for when we’re back home.
Home.
“Start staying at my place.” I make the request again as I pump a handful of body wash from the bottle rack on the back wall and start smoothing it over her body. “With me.”
Piper arches into my touch as I thumb across her nipples, teasing them with both hands. “Only if I get to suck your dick whenever I want.”
A slow smile crosses my lips, because even I can recognize the ridiculousness of her request and the reasons she”s making it. “You drive a hard bargain, Sugar.”
I drag my hands lower, one sliding to the crack of her ass as the other moves to trace along the plush lips of her pussy. I work the soap over her, careful to keep it from getting anywhere it shouldn”t. She lets out a little gasp as my fingers brush over the pucker of her asshole.
I linger on her clit, gently stroking it as I continue soaping around the tight ring of muscle. “That didn”t sound like a bad gasp, Sugar.” I apply a little pressure, ready to gauge her reaction. “That sounds a little like you wouldn”t mind my finger in your ass while I fuck you.”
She shudders as I barely probe into her, teasing. Testing. “I wouldn”t be against it.” She tips her head up, catching my lower lip between her teeth the way she did the first time we fucked, giving it a little nip before releasing it. “But I”m also not against sticking my finger in your ass while I suck your dick.”
My cock flexes involuntarily, jerking against her slick belly.
Piper gives me a slow, devious smile. “Seems like you”re not against it either.”
My balls pull tight as yet another filthy vision infiltrates my thoughts. “You can do whatever you want to me, Piper. Every fucking inch of me already belongs to you anyway.”
Piper’s smiling lips move against mine as she lets out a soft humming sound. “If I’d known all I had to do to get to touch you was offer to stick my finger in your ass, I would have done it days ago.”
I huff out a laugh. She knows when and how to break the tension collecting inside me, knocking it down before it can take over and send me spiraling. “You’re a fucking mess.” I push against her, shoving her body under the water to rinse away the soap I worked over her skin. “And I fucking love it.”
Piper’s expression turns thoughtful as I work my fingers through her hair, making sure it’s saturated. “Do you really?”
It’s the first hint of insecurity I’ve ever seen in her and it stops me short. Makes me take a second to think of what I want to say. How much of myself I want to offer. But I wasn’t lying when I said all of me was hers, so I take a deep breath as I pump shampoo into my hand. “My mother wasn’t happy.” I work the shampoo across my palms before lifting them to her head. “I never remember her smiling or laughing. Not once.” I keep my focus on my task. It’s easier than letting my mind follow the path of my words. “When my father kicked me out, she broke down. Told me I was the only thing that kept her going all those years.” I swallow hard. “I said I’d get a job and a place to live and come back for her. Help her get away from him.”
And I’d done it. It didn’t happen as quickly as I’d hoped, but within six months I had a shitty little apartment and a job at a car shop doing oil changes and tune ups. “But when I went back, she’d changed her mind. Decided to stay instead of coming with me.” I work my fingers across her scalp, letting the motion ground me in the moment instead of the past. “I took too long, and she’s still there because of it.”
Piper’s eyes move over my face as she says, “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” I tip her head into the stream of water to rinse it. “I tried a few times to change her mind, but she refused.”
I begged. Pleaded. Nothing worked. She’d decided change was more terrifying than staying where she was.
“That’s why it kills me when we have to wait to get women out of bad situations. I know how easily they can change their minds.” I gently work the conditioner through the dark drape of Piper’s hair. “And that’s why I like you.” I meet her eyes as I rinse that out. “Because you are so fucking convicted. So determined. So independent.” I let my fingers slide over her face as I make sure everything is clean. “Once you make up your mind, I don’t have to worry about you changing it.” I smile. “Even if you probably should.”
“Funny.” Piper doesn’t seem offended by my assessment. She almost seems proud as she grips my arms, holding tight as she shifts, switching our places. “Your turn.”
Once I’m the one under the water she goes to work washing me the same way I washed her. She starts at my hair, washing out the gel still making it stiff before working her way down my body. Her touch is slow as it glides over my shoulders and arms. Her hands don’t miss an inch of me as she soaps my chest and back. When one dips down my stomach and unhesitatingly grips my dick, I grab her hips, fingers digging in as she strokes me in slow, torturous passes.
I grit my teeth and bear it as long as I can. Her touch is every-fucking-thing. And now that I’ve finally crossed that line, I know I’ll never be able to go back.
But tonight I can only handle so much.
Gripping her wrist, I stop her movements and drag her hand away. “Enough.”
Piper scoffs but doesn’t fight me. A pleased little smile lights her face as I twist off the water and pull her body against mine, stepping us both out onto the mat. Without slowing down, I grab a towel from the rack, flinging it around us as I walk her backward into the room, taking her straight down to the bed. I’m still a little damp, and I’m sure the wetness in Piper’s hair is sinking into the blankets, but I don’t care.
All that matters is being close to her. Having her the way I’ve been denying myself, thinking it was the right thing to do.
It’s not. Never was. Never will be. The only thing that’s right is me and her. Together. Like this.
Piper latches onto me as she wiggles on the mattress, fighting the twist of the towel pinning our bodies together. “If you don’t get this towel off me and your dick in me in the next five seconds, I’m going to—”
“The only thing you’re going to do is take what I give you, Sugar.” I lift her up so I can tug one end of the towel from where it’s pinned behind her back, loosening the hold it has on us.
But as soon as Piper’s got room to move, she’s rolling, taking me with her across the mattress until her body is above mine, legs straddling my hips. She rests both hands on my chest, that same pleased smile from before shining down at me. “Maybe you’re the one who’s going to take what they’re given.” She leans forward, the slide of her tits against my chest distracting me from her true intentions.
I’ve got one small swell cradled in my hand, fingers closing around the nipple, when Piper straightens, rolls her hips, and sinks down over me in one smooth, shocking move. My whole body jerks at the unexpectedness of it. At the consuming feel of her wet heat squeezing tight around me. “Fucking hell, Piper.”
She smirks, nails lightly digging into my chest as she starts to rock. “What’s wrong, Caveman? Not the same when you’re not the one in control?” There’s a challenge in her voice. Like she’s daring me to claim I don’t like this.
I tuck my chin, looking down between our bodies as she fucks me, eyes locking on the place where we’re joined together as she uses me. Takes what she wants without shame or hesitation. It’s fucking breathtaking, and I hate myself a little over letting myself think I shouldn’t want this.
But like her, I’ll never be one to lay back and take without giving, so I flatten the palm of my hand against her lower belly, applying enough pressure to ensure I drag against the spot I know will make her come undone as I rest my thumb against her clit.
“Not,” she rocks forward, more of her weight resting on the palms pressing into my chest, “fair.”
“I disagree.” I pass my hand over the curve of her ass, sliding back and down until my fingers trace along the stretch of her cunt around me. “This is what you wanted, Sugar. You asked for this.” I slick my middle finger through her wetness, dragging it back to coat the pucker of her ass. “And I’m starting to agree with you.” I press against the tight ring of muscle, easing in as she rides me. “Gives me better access.”
When the tip of my finger slides into her body, Piper gasps as her cunt clenches around me. “Oh fuck.”
I press deeper, making it to my second knuckle before I pull back and slowly start to finger fuck her ass while she bucks over me, struggling to keep the pace she set. Digging my heels into the bed, I pick up where she left off, spearing up into her soaking heat as my thumb teases her clit and my finger continues its slow thrusting.
“Goddammit, Tate.” Piper’s head falls back on a wail as she flies over the edge, the clench of her pussy taking me right with her, milking each spurt of cum from my body until she finally collapses against me. The dark length of her damp hair covers my face as she struggles to catch her breath.
I ease my finger from her ass as my other hand smooths back her hair. “I think I like you being in charge, Sugar. We might have to do that again sometime.”
Piper’s head lifts, her cheeks flushed as she shoots me a dirty look. “Next time I’m tying your ass to the bed.”
I don’t know what I did to get so fucking lucky to find a woman who says something like that as if it’s a threat. Especially since I know it’s not an empty one.
Using the hand in her hair, I pull Piper down to press a kiss to her lips. “Deal.”