Chapter 33 Lexi
Lexi
The campus comes into view and my heart does something complicated—relief mixed with dread mixed with disappointment.
The familiar brick buildings, the students walking with coffee cups and backpacks, the normalcy of it all feels surreal after everything that’s happened.
It’s not that it’s even been long, but it’s felt like a fucking lifetime, and the sight of this is everything I’ve been wanting since I made the decision to steal Koa’s car and call Jasper.
A huge mistake I wish I could take back because I’m caught up in whatever this is.
Revan pulls into a parking spot near the liberal arts building, killing the engine.
The silence that follows is heavy, awkward.
My skin prickles. Revan and Atticus are still brooding, dark and dangerous even in the mundane setting of a college campus.
No smiles, no reassurances that they’re doing this out of the goodness of their heart.
Revan reaches into the center console and pulls out my phone. He hands it back without a word, and I take it, feeling so fucking relieved. Yes. The screen is cracked but it’s mine. My connection to the world, to my life, to everything that makes sense.
“Thanks,” I say quietly, clutching it.
Atticus turns in his seat, and those green eyes pin me in place. There’s something predatory in his gaze, something that makes me remember exactly what his mouth felt like on my hip, his hands gripping my thighs, the sounds I made when he—
“Your number,” he says, his British accent wrapping around the words. “Give it to me.”
It’s not a question. It’s a command, casual and certain, like he knows I won’t refuse.
And I don’t.
I rattle off my number and watch as he inputs them into his phone, his fingers moving quickly.
When he’s done, he looks up at me through those lashes and something passes between us—an acknowledgment of what happened in that cabin, of how he let me grab his throat and let him fuck me senseless.
I think I may have taught him a few tricks as well.
Heat crawls up my neck, flooding my cheeks. I’m blushing like crazy, and I hate it. Hate that he has such an effect on, and he knows it. The corner of his mouth twitches. Not quite a smile, but close enough that it makes my stomach flip.
“Enjoy your classes, Lexi,” he says.
I push the car door open, stepping out into the crisp autumn air. It smells like freedom—like coffee and fallen leaves and the perfume of the girl walking past. Normal things. Safe things.
I’m three steps away when I hear the car door slam behind me.
“Lexi.”
Revan’s voice stops me cold. I turn to find him striding toward me. He doesn’t stop until he’s right in front of me, close enough that I have to tilt my head back to meet his eyes.
Then he kisses me.
It’s not like Atticus’s kiss, or like Koa’s. He’s…yearning. His hand cups the back of my neck, holding me in place, and I melt into it even though I shouldn’t. Even though every rational part of my brain is screaming that this is wrong, that these men are dangerous, that I should run.
But I don’t run.
I kiss him back.
When he pulls away, his eyes are molten. “Don’t forget who’s in charge,” he murmurs against my lips.
Over his shoulder, I catch Atticus glaring from the passenger seat, his jaw tight. There’s jealousy in that look, possessiveness, and it sends a thrill down my spine.
“Give me your number,” Revan says, pulling his phone out.
I give it to him on autopilot, still dizzy from the kiss. He inputs it, then grabs my chin, forcing me to focus on him.
“Don’t trust Koa,” he says, and the warning in his voice is unmistakable. “I’ll call soon.”
Then he’s walking back to the car, leaving me standing there trying to process what the hell just happened.
Don’t trust Koa?
What does that even mean? Koa, who fought two guys for me? Koa, who jumped on the hood of the car for me? Koa, who cut off my junkie brother and put him in rehab for me?
Unless... unless there’s something I don’t know.
Something about drugs, maybe he’s tangled with my dad.
I watch them drive off. Or maybe… it’s jealousy, knowing that I’m on this side of town with the biggest drug dealer on my arm.
The truth is that I know nothing about those two Reapers, and at the very least, my brother knows Koa and has his respect.
My phone feels heavy in my hand. I stare at the cracked screen, then scroll to Thea’s contact as I walk towards my dorm. My thumb hovers over the call button for a long moment before I press it.
It rings twice before she answers.
“Oh my God, Lexi!” Thea’s voice is frantic, relieved, angry all at once. “Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been so worried, and your weird-ass roommate wouldn’t tell me anything, and I’m so, so sorry for being such a bitch to you. I shouldn’t have given you the cold shoulder, I shouldn’t have—”
“Thea,” I interrupt, remembering how upset I was about that, but too much has happened to let that get in the way. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. I was a terrible friend, and you needed me, and I just—” She takes a shaky breath. “Where are you? Are you okay? I’ve been freaking the fuck out.”
I glance at the time and my stomach drops. “I can’t. I’m already late for class. But lunch? Can we do lunch?”
“Yes. I’ll meet you at the dining hall at noon.”
“Okay. I have to go.” I’m already moving, speed-walking toward my dorm. “I’ll see you then.”
I hang up and break into a run.
My dorm room is exactly how I left it—unmade bed, textbooks scattered on my desk, the faint smell of Scarlett’s vanilla candles. I grab my backpack, shoving in the books I need for my morning classes, then pause to look at myself in the mirror.
I look... different. There are faint shadows under my eyes from lack of sleep, but my cheeks are flushed, my lips slightly swollen from Revan’s kiss. I look like someone who’s been thoroughly fucked and kidnapped and is somehow still standing.
I look alive.
The thought terrifies me.
I sprint across campus, my backpack bouncing against my shoulders. Students give me weird looks as I dodge around them, but I don’t care. I’m already late to Dr. Miley’s lecture on Modern American Literature, and she hates tardiness.
I burst through the door and every head turns to look at me.
“Glad you could join us, Ms. Kane,” Dr. Miley says dryly from the front of the room. She’s a severe woman in her fifties. “Please take a seat.”
“Sorry,” I mumble, sliding into an empty chair near the back. I pull out my notebook and try to focus on what she’s saying—something about Fitzgerald and the death of the American Dream—but my mind is still in that cabin, still feeling Atticus’s hands rubbing me until I broke.
I force myself to take notes, to underline important passages, to pretend like I’m a normal college student who didn’t just spend the morning having sex with a British criminal in a safe house.
The hour crawls by. When class finally ends, I’m exhausted and wired all at once.
I’ve only missed a little part of the lecture, thankfully, which means I can catch up with the syllabus and move on.
My scholarship demands perfection—straight A’s, full attendance, complete dedication.
I can’t afford to slip, can’t afford to let Axel’s mess destroy everything I’ve worked for.
I won’t let it.
Thea is already waiting when I get to the dining hall, sitting at our usual table by the window. She jumps up when she sees me, pulling me into a crushing hug.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispers into my hair. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” I say, hugging her back. “It’s okay. I promise.”
When she pulls away, her eyes are red-rimmed. “You look exhausted.”
“Gee, thanks. I’m not wearing any makeup.”
“You know what I mean.” She sits back down, and I join her, immediately reaching for the sandwich I grabbed from the line. I’m starving—ravenous in a way that makes me realize I haven’t eaten anything substantial since yesterday. I devour half the sandwich in three bites.
Thea watches with wide eyes. “When was the last time you ate?”
“Yesterday. Maybe.” I grab my chips, shoving a handful into my mouth. “I don’t know. It’s been a weird couple days.”
“Lexi, what the hell is going on? I tried talking to Koa, but he literally refused to talk to me.”
I freeze mid-bite. Koa refused to talk to her? But I know he never liked her to begin with, so why would he tell her anything?
“I, um...” I swallow hard, reaching for my water. “I met some guys.”
“Guys?” Thea leans forward. “What guys?”
“They go to Blackridge.” I’m trying to keep my voice casual, downplaying it, but I can feel myself blushing. “We just... hung out.”
“Hung out.” Thea’s tone is flat, disbelieving. “You disappear, you won’t answer your phone, Koa’s acting weird as hell, disappearing and reappearing, and you expect me to believe you were just ‘hanging out’ with some Blackridge guys? Blackridge guys who?”
“It’s really not a big deal.”
“Lexi.” She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “I know I fucked up. I know sleeping with Axel behind your back wasn’t fair or cool, and I know I’ve been a shitty friend. But you can tell me what really happened. Whatever it is, I’m here. I want to make sure you’re okay.”
I look into her eyes—genuine concern, real guilt—and something in me softens. She made a mistake. We all make mistakes. But part of me is still hurt, still remembers how she dismissed my feelings about Axel, how she chose him over our friendship, over saving his life.
I can’t tell her everything. Can’t tell her about being kidnapped, about the mansion, the cabin, about Atticus and Revan and the way they made me feel things I shouldn’t feel.
So I smile. Bright and fake and reassuring. “Yeah, I’m totally fine. Promise.”
She studies me for a long moment, and I can see her deciding whether to push. Finally, she sits back. “Okay. But if you need to talk...”
“I know.” I finish my sandwich and stand up. “Want to grab me another one? I’m still starving.”
She laughs, the tension breaking. “Sure.”
We talk about safe things after that—her psychology midterm, my paper on Hemingway, the terrible coffee in the campus Starbucks. Normal things. College things. It feels like putting on a costume that doesn’t quite fit anymore.
My afternoon class is Statistics, which I normally hate but today feels like a blessing. Numbers don’t lie, don’t complicate things, don’t make you question everything you thought you knew about yourself.
I’m pulling out my calculator when my phone buzzes.
Unknown number: [Image attached: a tattoo on pale skin, intricate black ink forming a design I can’t quite make out]
Unknown number: For my American girls.
My heart skips. Atticus.
Me: Add a tally mark system so I know where I place.
The response is almost immediate.
Atticus: You’re at the top of the list, American.
Heat floods my face. I’m blushing in the middle of Statistics class, and I hate it. It’s a text message. It doesn’t mean anything. But I also can’t stop the smile that tugs at my lips.
I force myself to put the phone down, to focus on the professor’s explanation of probability distributions.
But my mind keeps wandering back to that cabin, to the way Atticus didn’t want me to orgasm and then did it anyway.
The look in his eyes when he saw how good he made me feel. It’s stuck in my head on replay.
By the time classes end, I’m exhausted. My feet hurt, my brain is fried, and all I want is a hot shower and my bed. I’m walking toward my dorm when I see a black car rolling into the parking lot. My blood turns to ice. The shape, the size—it looks exactly like Koa’s Charger. He’s here.
Part of me is terrified. I watched him take on Revan and Atticus, watched the violence he’s capable of, and I don’t know if he’ll be angry.
If he’ll punish me. But another part of me wants to see him.
Needs to make sure he’s okay after that fight, needs to understand what Revan meant about not trusting him.
The car gets closer, pulling into the lot, and I hold my breath.
It’s not a Charger.
It’s a black Camry, and the driver is some guy I’ve never seen before. Relief and disappointment crash through me. Wishful thinking on my end. I want to see him.
I hurry to my dorm, taking the stairs two at a time. When I get inside, I drop my bag and head straight for the bathroom. The shower is hot enough to burn, and I stand under the spray for a long time, letting it wash away the tension in my muscles.
But it can’t wash away the memories.
I can still feel Atticus inside me, the way his hands gripped my hips with an intensity that bordered on worship. He wasn’t as experienced as I expected—there was a fumbling quality to rubbing my clit like it’s something he’s never done before.
And Revan. God, the way he looked at me when he walked into that room, like he was claiming his stake. It made me feel powerful and powerless all at once.
But then there’s Koa.
Koa, who isn’t as feral as the Reapers. Who’s more careful, more in tune with what I need. The memory of his hands on me, the way he made me feel safe even in the middle of chaos—it sends a shiver down my spine.
I’m fantasizing about all three of them when I hear the door open.
I freeze, my hand still between my legs, my breath coming in short gasps.
Scarlett gasps, but she doesn’t realize what I’m doing.
“Jesus Christ!” I yelp, sitting up.
I expect her usual eye-roll, her usual dismissive attitude. But instead, her face is pale, her eyes wide with something that looks like fear.
“Where the hell have you been?” she whispers, closing the door behind her.
I stare at her, confused by her reaction. “What?”
“That guy’s been coming in here every night. Remember the one I told you about?”
My stomach drops. “Oh, it’s probably just Koa.”
She shakes her head violently. “No. It’s not him. This is an older guy with gray hair and a beard.”
The room tilts.
Gray hair? Beard?
“What?” The word comes out as barely a whisper.
“He comes in after midnight,” Scarlett continues, wrapping her arms around herself. “Just stands there, looking around. Looking at your stuff. I pretend to be asleep, but I’m a light sleeper. It’s starting to scare me. Should I go to the RA? I think––”
She doesn’t finish the sentence.
She doesn’t have to.
Because suddenly, I think I’m in much more trouble than I understand.
And I understand why Revan warned me about Koa.
Why Koa is being protective.
Why Revan and Atticus didn’t want me to return to my life.
Someone is watching me.
Gray hair? Beard? I don’t know who the hell it is.