11. Chapter 10 Carter
F ebruary 2024
How much groveling do I have to do to get you to forgive me?
The text message has been sitting on read for days. Not because I’m avoiding her, but because I’m not sure how to respond to it. I can’t pretend I wasn’t stunned by the phone call, but she hadn’t offended me. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about when it comes to the sport and the expectations placed on me, and I can’t fault her for that. There are a lot of people who know nothing about swimming.
That has always bugged Bryce more than me. I get his frustration, but I don’t see the point in fighting to get people to care about something that’s important to me. The people who do care and matter are the ones who show up—that’s a philosophy that has served me well in both my personal life and my career. Bryce sees it differently, though. Which is why he confronted her; he was looking out for me and the sport we love. I wish he would have let me handle it.
Kat might have stepped over some professional lines, but she shouldn’t feel like groveling for forgiveness is the only way to fix it.
Which is why I ultimately decide to call her. I’m not sure she’ll even pick up after I ignored her message for so long, but I have to try.
Eventually, the ringing cuts out. “Hey.”
She sounds so tentative, so unsure of herself. I instantly hate it. Hate that she’s not sure how to talk to me. “Hey, you had a question about groveling for forgiveness or something?”
“I texted you that days ago.”
“I know,” I reply, “and I shouldn’t have waited so long to respond. I am sorry about that, but, Kat, there’s nothing to forgive. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Are you crazy? Of course I did! I was rude and unprofessional.”
Katrina Dalton could give Bryce Clark a run for his money. They’re both ridiculously stubborn, which makes their weird feud at the start of this make a lot more sense.
“The way I see it, you were watching out for my business, and by extent, my best friend. You can’t help what you don’t know, and it sounded like I was taking advantage of Bryce. I would have had the same reaction if I were in your shoes.”
I can’t say I would have called someone out the way she did, but hey, we can’t all have the same level of confidence.
“Well, I get it now,” she assures me. “Or, at least, I get it more than I previously did. Bryce made sure of that.”
I rub at my forehead. “He shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. I was planning to talk to you about it.”
“Don’t be mad at him. I’m glad he did it. It’s not just about you, Carter.”
“Wow, way to make a guy feel special,” I joke, mock horror seeped into every word.
It has the desired effect as she giggles into the phone, the sound melodic in my ear. “You know what I mean! I’ve been treating Bryce just as unfairly, questioning every design choice you guys made with Liam; he had a right to be mad at me, too.”
“Like I said, it sounds like you were trying to make the remodel as successful as possible, and we can’t fault you for that,” I say. “I fully understand where you were coming from, and it’d make total sense for a pool that’ll primarily be used for recreational purposes.”
“But that’s not what you and Bryce are trying to do here.”
“No, it’s not, but it’s also not your fault for not understanding that. We could have done more to help you understand.”
“I also could have done more research to understand the specs of the project better. I really am sorry. I want you to know that.”
“I don’t doubt it at all. We’re good, Katrina. You’re not in any danger of getting fired or having your boss called. You apologized and we’re fixing it.”
I hear a shaky breath on her side of the phone—something that I’ve always seen as a sign to move on from the topic of conversation. I have nothing left to say and am glad we’ve cleared the air. I wouldn’t mind talking to her more, but before I get the chance, she’s telling me she needs to go because her boyfriend is calling. She thanks me again for being so understanding and doesn’t give me a chance to reply before she hangs up.
Boyfriend. The word pierces through my heart. It’s ridiculous to be affected by the fact she has a boyfriend when I don’t even know her, not really. Sure, she’s fun to talk to, and she’s been a immense help when it comes to getting my mind off my dwindling career, but it’s not enough to establish a crush with. Yet, the minute she said boyfriend, it felt like one more thing I could cling to was floating away from me.
Then again, the last thing I should be doing is getting caught up in a fantasy. Especially with someone who has a significant other.
T wo days after my phone call with Kat, I’m at the gym halfway through my workout when someone asks me if I need a spot. I turn to accept the offer and am shocked to see Bryce standing behind me, looking smug as hell. It’d been a couple of months. We’ve gone longer than that without seeing each other, but right now, he was the only person I wanted to see.
“What are you doing here?” I ask once we separate from the hug. “Is Josie here?”
“No, she and Kat are having a girl’s weekend, whatever that means.” I laugh at the uncertainty on his face. “So, I decided, you know what, I deserve a guy’s weekend.”
“Hell, yeah.” I reach for my water bottle. “How long are you here for?”
“I told Josie I’d be back tomorrow.” He looks around the gym, hands on his hips. That’s when I notice he’s dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. Not exactly the right apparel to workout in.
I raise my brow while I take a drink. “Are we working out? How did you even know I was here?”
“I thought you’d be swimming,” he admits. “I found Coach, and he told me you were here. I mean, we can workout if you need to.”
I shrug, knowing an intense workout is the last thing on Bryce’s mind right now. “Or we could go get dinner and a beer.”
“Oh, thank god.” He relaxes, nodding. “Yes, let’s do that.”
Which is how we find ourselves sitting across from one another forty-five minutes later with cold beers paired with chips and salsa. Bryce fills me in on the latest developments at the pool and the budding friendship between Josie and Kat. I’m excited to hear they were getting along so well, figuring they could be good for each other during this whole thing. I am worried about what’s going to happen when Mia joins the fray in a couple of days. I’m not sure Bryce can cope with the two of them together.
Then, somehow, the topic of conversation turns to swimming.
“I meant to tell you, that was a hell of a swim a couple weeks back in Indianapolis,” he comments. “I think Josie broke my eardrum she was cheering so loud.”
I knew which one he was referencing, my first place finish in the 400-meter IM at the first meet of the year. The time was seconds better than either me or my coach thought I’d be, and it felt like a good start to the year. “Thanks. I’m not sure where that came from.”
“Bull,” Bryce scoffs. “That’s your training paying off, doing exactly what it should be doing. You’re setting yourself up for a kickass season that’ll end up with you going to your third Olympics.”
I’m quiet for a second, not sure how I want to respond to that. I know what he’s doing. We’ve been each other’s hype team for as long as I can remember, but this is different. Yes, I’m posting solid times, but Trials are still months away and I’m not the only athlete with Paris on his mind. Hell, I’m not the only one who’s looking at this like it’s my last chance.
“You wanna tell me what’s going on with you?” Apparently, I’ve done a piss-poor job of hiding my rising anxiety from him. He’s watching me closely, a chip dangling in his hand. “I mean, I think I know, but I’d like to hear it from you.”
I groan, dropping my head back against my chair. “Don’t make me say it out loud, man.”
“It helps when you do,” he countered around a mouth full of chips. “Trust me.”
I make a face, reaching for my beer. “Don’t talk with your mouth full. What would your mother think?”
“If you don’t want to be done after this, you can tell me,” he says after he swallows. “I know I’ve said it before, but I’m going to keep reminding you. Don’t quit until you’re ready.”
Swallowing the drink I’d just taken, I shake my head. “That’s not it. I know I’m done after this; it’s not the same as it was, and everything hurts more. I’m ready to be done.”
Bryce frowns at me. “If you’re not freaked out about retiring, then what’s got you so freaked out? Is it about what happens after?”
“Yeah, obviously,” I scoff. “Weren’t you, dude?”
“That’s not the same and you know it.”
“It is, though!” I lean my arms against the table. “You settled for a job you knew you’d hate, I know that, and you figured out a way to make it work. I’m staring at a future that I want, but I have no guarantee it’ll even work out. And, if it doesn’t, I’ll take my best friend and his girlfriend down with me. Two people who moved halfway across the country to do this with me.”
“Take us down with you?” Bryce’s tone is incredulous, eyes wide. “Carter, what the hell are you talking about?”
“You and Josie, obviously!” I wave my hand in front of me as if I can manifest his girlfriend to be here, too. “You guys gave up everything to come do this with me—what if it fails?”
“It’s going to work out because we’re all determined as fuck, Carter,” he insists. “Besides, what do you mean we gave up everything to do this with you? I’d already sent my resignation when you called, and Josie was about to do the same; the only thing the two of us did with this was change locations and get fresh starts. Both as individuals and as a couple. That’s something we’ll always be grateful to you for.”
“You say that now, but will that still be true if this whole thing goes up in flames?”
“Flames? You better be talking metaphorically, Carter. Listen to me, it hasn’t even started yet, and you’re already worried about this? That’s ridiculous. We’re not going to have immediate success. No one does, but we know what hard work does and we’re willing to make it happen. Answer me this: Do you want to do anything other than what we’re doing?”
“No,” I admit. It’s true. There’s a reason I asked him to do this with me. There’s a reason I found myself up late at night looking at cheap places we could remodel. I wanted this when I bought it and I want it more now.
“Me neither,” he promises. “If I’ve learned anything, it’s that we all make choices. I chose to do this with you, Josie chose to come with me, and Mia chose to take the opportunity we’re giving her. If it fails, we’re all equally responsible for the impact it’ll have on us. It’s not just on your shoulders.”
I take a deep breath, looking across the table at him. I don’t get the chance to say anything more, though, as the server brings our food. We’re momentarily distracted as he makes sure we have everything we need, offering another round of beers and disappears for a moment before returning with them.
We’re both several bites in when I break the silence again. “I’m sorry for just throwing all that out there, Bryce.”
He swallows the bite he just took, reaching for his beer to wash it down. “Don’t apologize, Carter. Just talk to me, okay? Or Josie. Literally anyone. You don’t need to be a ball of anxiety over nothing. We’re here for you.”
I nod, picking at the fries on my plate. “And it’s not going to fail.”
“Not a chance in hell.”
Somewhere, deep down in me, I believe him. I know the people involved in this are willing to do the work, to put in the long hours, and make this happen. Something in me says that ten years from now, we’ll wonder why it was ever a question. We’ll be loving our lives and it’s all because of the choices we make now. It’s hard to let yourself see the future when so many things can go wrong in the present. With the right people to lean on, maybe it doesn’t have to be so scary.