Chapter 39 Lucy
THIRTY-NINE
Lucy
It’s been an entire week since we went camping. And it’s almost like I never told Felix the truth.
We haven’t heard a word from Miles’s family about it. I’ve gotten a couple of texts from his mom and dad asking me how I’m doing and telling me they love me.
Those texts made me want to cry. Because Lillian and Andrew are lovely people whom I never want to hurt.
So what happens when I divorce their son? They’ll be shattered, and I’ll be the lowest scum of the earth.
“Your mom loves me,” I announce as I walk down the hallway, staring at another text from Lillian telling me they’re planning a girls’ weekend and I’m invited. Oh, and P.S. I love you, sweetie!
“Of course she does,” Miles says as I walk into his room. I flop onto his bed and watch as shirtless Miles walks into the closet to grab his work clothes.
I stretch out on my side and lean my head into my hand. “Do you think it’s strange Felix hasn’t said anything to the family yet?”
Miles reemerges from the closet wearing slacks and an unbuttoned collared shirt.
“I’m not sure what to think about it. I think Grandpa likes you, so he might just be keeping it a secret because he hopes you’ll stay.”
“I would like to keep him and Goldie in our divorce,” I state matter-of-factly.
Miles quirks an eyebrow at that. “We’ll have to figure out custody shares, because I want Alexander as well.”
“You can’t have him full-time.”
“We’ll split him fifty-fifty.”
I watch as he works his way up to his top button and starts to have trouble with the crooked collar.
I stand and walk over to him, reaching up to fold the collar down evenly.
I don’t think this shirt has been ironed in a while, so I do my best to crease the collar with my hands.
Folding it and pressing it like I would a piece of paper.
My head is right below Miles’s chin, and he leans a little closer because I feel him brush against the top of my hair.
“Did you just sniff me?” I ask as I step back, happy with my on-the-fly folding job.
Miles shrugs. “You smell good. I couldn’t help it.”
Good thing I didn’t give Alexander a bath today. I’d smell like a wet dog.
“Do you have work today?” he asks as he tucks his shirt in.
“No, they’re doing a mobile vet clinic, and I’m on call in case of emergency. What are you up to today?”
He finishes tucking his shirt in and plants his hands on his hips. “I think I’m going to talk to Kingston today. And I think you should tell Willa, because we’ve probably lost the bet, and I think Willa needs to know what you’ve been doing for her.”
I swallow the lump in my throat.
I married a man for money, and now I’m probably not going to get that money. So now, I’ll have to explain to Willa that I’ve been tricking her for years, and oh-by-the-way-I-married-my-roommate.
This ought to go well.
“I think it’s great you’re going to talk to Kingston. When you get to work a job that you love—it makes the hard days a lot easier. You light up when you talk about anything involving Around the Bend.”
“And you love your job?” he asks as he stares down at me.
“Oh yes, very much.”
“Are you going to tell Willa we’re married?”
I’d rather not, but I think it’s only fair. I nod twice.
“Good girl. She’s your sister. And I know you’re not super close, but she absolutely adores you.
You should hear how she talks about you when you’re not there.
” Miles grins. “When you first started coming to town, she practically threatened all of our lives, telling us we better be nice to you, or else.”
I smile weakly at that, because it’s so Willa-coded and her way of trying to take care of me.
“You’re right. I have to tell her. I’ve been the coward, and she’s only wanted us to be close.
I moved here to be near her, and I’ve been too scared to get super close again.
Plus, she just seems so happy here, with a built-in family already. ”
Miles steps in front of me and pulls me into a hug. “I hope you realize she’s able to do that because of you.”
I lock my hands together behind his back and lean into his warm hug. “What do you mean?”
“Whether either of you realize it or not, you shielding her from your parents and doing your best to provide a stable high school and college experience has given her the confidence to open up to the people around her. You’ve given her the love she needed to form those emotional connections.
To build friendships and have good, healthy relationships.
” I feel him press a kiss to the top of my head, and I sigh.
He continues, “But you didn’t have that. You’ve had to be the strong one. To pretend like everything was fine while it was all falling apart. And I think you’re scared that if you open yourself up to people, that you’re going to be hurt.”
The lump in my throat is almost impossible to swallow.
“You’re so kind to everyone you meet, but you keep them at arm’s length.”
“Actually, I think we’re chest to chest at this point,” I mumble against his shirt.
He chuckles. “Smart aleck.”
“What time are you going to work?” I ask, dreading that I’m going to have to tell Willa the truth.
“I need to leave in fifteen minutes.” He laces his hands in my hair and gently rubs my head.
I nearly start groaning; it feels so good. I snap my mouth closed so I don’t accidentally drool on his shirt. I’m going to miss this. A lot.
I love Miles’s hugs. I love the way he encourages me to be a better person without tearing me down. I love the way he can make me melt into him, because I feel so safe with him.
I love Miles.
The thought has me gasp and step out of his hold.
“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” He looks at me in confusion, and I shake my head rapidly.
“I—” I can’t tell him what I was just thinking. It would ruin everything. “I realized you have to leave in a couple of minutes, and I’m making you late.”
The puzzled look on his face doesn’t go away, but he nods. “Do you want me to wait for you at the office?”
I shake my head. “I’m going to get dressed and do my makeup. I’ll text you when I get there.”
And then I flee the room, leaving my phone on his bed in my haste.
I took my own sweet time getting ready to come to the office. It’s a good thing I didn’t ask Miles to wait on me, because it’s closer to lunch time now that I’m actually here.
I walk into the building and take the elevator to the office floor.
When I step out of the elevator, Thea is standing by the front desk.
She smiles brightly at me. “Lucy! How are you?” She immediately walks over to the coffee station and pours a cup, adding a generous helping of creamer to it, then passes it to me. “Don’t tell anyone. You’re the only person I’ll make coffee for.”
“You’re my favorite,” I say with a sigh. I take a long sip. “You don’t know how much I needed this.”
“Are you okay?” Thea asks in a concerned voice.
“No, I’m not. I think I need to talk to Miles first.”
Thea scowls. “What did he do? I know exactly thirty-seven ways to hide a body.”
That startles a laugh out of me. “Miles is helping me. Unfortunately, this is a problem of my own making.”
“Oh, well I guess that’s good. I actually like Miles and would hate to have to hide his body.”
“You’re amazing. I hope you know that.” I give her a quick hug that seems to startle her. But I hurry toward Miles’s office before she can say anything.
I didn’t even think to knock on the door. I simply walk in and set my coffee down on his desk.
“I think I have enough false courage from the caffeine to tell Willa the truth.” My hands are shaking.
Miles stands up and walks around the desk. “All right. That’s fine by me. Kingston and Willa are in Kingston’s office right now. We could catch them before they leave the building. But before we go…”
He pulls out his phone and flips it around so I can read the screen.
Grandma: Hi sweetie, I just wanted you to know that your grandpa loved Lucy and gave his stamp of approval. We’re so proud of both of you. We love you.
My stomach drops. He knows the truth, and he still gave his approval. What does that mean? Does Goldie not know? Why wouldn’t Felix tell her?
“She has to know, doesn’t she?” I say.
“I highly doubt Grandpa would keep a secret, so yes. She probably knows. But I think she likes you enough that she wants to keep you anyway.” He smiles down at me, and that’s when I realize what he’s doing.
He’s making me feel wanted. And he’s doing a dang good job of it.
He holds a hand out toward me, palm up.
I hesitantly lay mine on top of it. His strong fingers curl around mine, and he leads the way out of his office.
A self-preserving thought hits that maybe, just maybe, we could get a divorce, and I could manage to pay off those student loans, and no one would ever need to know what actually happened.
But deep down, I know I’m doing the right thing.
I follow Miles into Kingston’s office. Ironically, Willa is sitting behind his desk, working on his computer. Kingston is standing by the window, talking on the phone.
He glances back at us and quickly wraps up his conversation.
“Lucy!” Willa says with a smile. “I’m so glad you’re here! Do you have time for lunch today?”
She’s so sweet and hopeful. And I’m about to confess two big lies to her. I am the worst person alive.
Miles places a hand on my lower back, and the warmth is comforting in a way I didn’t know I needed.
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Willa. I need to tell you something.”
Willa’s smile drops from her face. “I knew it. You never come to the office. It’s something horrible, isn’t it?”
I try to speak, but she continues on. “Oh no, is it news from a doctor?”
Her face freezes in horror, so I blurt out the truth before she can spiral into other worst-case scenarios. “No. It’s worse.”
Miles nudges my side with his elbow.
“Okay. It’s not that bad,” I correct, not wanting to hurt his feelings. “I’m married.”
Slowly, the color seeps back into Willa’s cheeks as I watch the information sink in.