Chapter 10 #2
We didn’t say anything to each other. He just stared at me like he was looking into my soul.
Hidden in a crowd of drunk people, Ben and I started to dance.
I remember the warmth of his hands on my back, the dance moves that would be laughable if anyone else performed them, the feeling of his shoulders beneath my forearms as I wrapped my arms around his neck, the smell of his aftershave, the smell of alcohol on his breath.
This was the Ben Kehoe that girls dreamed of dancing with.
And I was the one he held in his arms. Then he led me outside, onto the balcony.
Rivalry be damned; I couldn’t hate Ben in that moment. And I doubted that he could hate me either. As the thumping music continued, and a nighttime chill breezed over us, Ben craned his neck, tilted his head and slowly edged towards me.
And then Brendan projectile vomited all over the sitting room carpet.
Frustrated, Brendan’s girlfriend at the time, Kate, swiftly kicked everyone out of the apartment.
Nobody was allowed back inside. While Kate started to clean up Brendan’s mess, I was left outside on the balcony, rubbing Brendan’s back while he vomited into a plant.
What Ben did for the rest of the night, I don’t know.
I’m grateful when the toasted sandwich burns the tip of my tongue. It brings me back to the present, back to Ben Kehoe across from me. “Why did you tell Mr O’Leary you wouldn’t be able to tell which twin I was?”
Ben hangs his head, then he looks up from his plate and says, “I wish I could say I had a good excuse… But after everything that happened at that party, I got scared. I tried to forget you, forget what had happened. And pretending like I didn’t know you seemed like a good way to do that.
” He quickly adds, “I hope that doesn’t upset you. ”
Grimly, I understand his situation.
“I’m not upset,” I lie. I want to say more, but some things are better left unsaid. And all healed wounds are better left unopened.
Ben reaches for a napkin. I notice the toned muscles in his arm, the protruding, pumping veins, and his long fingers. Suddenly, the café seems smaller, more intimate. It’s like the walls have closed in on us, forcing us closer together. My heart is thrumming.
With the napkin between his fingers, Ben eyes me from beneath his curls. His eyes are glistening, but his face is serious, intense. He does not release me from his gaze. “Why aren’t you going back to your posh boy in Donnybrook, Nick?”
I choke and then cough violently. Once my throat is clear, I laugh it off. “What?”
“Why aren’t you going back to your house and your partner in Donnybrook?” Ben asks again. “No more lies.”
He knows something. He’s a barrister. Listening to people lie is a daily duty in his job. He can probably easily tell when someone is being untruthful. Now, I’m a victim to such a talent.
His face becomes sterner, almost unforgiving. He tries again, speaking to me as if I’m his client. “Why, Nick?”
I could get down on my knees to thank God when the waitress interrupts us. “Was everything okay for you guys?” she asks as she takes our clean plates.
Blessedly, Ben drops his scrutiny of me as we reply to the waitress that it was.
“Can I get you guys anything else?”
Ben looks up at her. “The bill, please.”
I observe her knee faintly sway as Ben’s eyes meet hers. “No problem,” she splutters out.
Ben doesn’t let me pay the bill. I protest, but he pretends not to hear me. I try to swipe my debit card at the card machine, but Ben beats me to it.
“You can get the next one,” he says as he shoves his wallet back into his pocket.
“Fine.”
I check Irish Rail’s website as we ready ourselves to leave.
Entering the relevant webpage, this time, I am not greeted with a flashing notice.
On the contrary, there is a single sentence at the top of the screen that reads: ‘All trains operational’.
I relay the information to Ben and thank him for the lift and the lunch.
“That’s good news, Nick.”
I make my way to the exit and Ben follows me.
“I’ll walk with you to the train if you don’t mind.”
“You really don’t—”
Ben raises his palm, silencing me. “The walk will do me good. I want to get my steps in.”
I playfully roll my eyes. “Fine.”
As we’re about to round the corner to face Connolly train station, Ben gently pats me on the forearm. “You know what? I have an idea.”
“This’ll be good.”
“If you don’t want to hear it, I’ll keep it to myself.”
Like a child whose toy has been taken away, it’s all I want. “No, I want to hear it.”
“How would you feel about making a deal?” He grins.
“A deal?”
“Yeah, a deal.”
I nod, nudging him to explain his deal.
Ben enlightens me. “You need my help, and I need your help with this case. And if we’re going to be successful, we’ll have to work together. So why don’t we agree to a clean slate? Forget everything that’s happened in the past.”
I consider his offer. Can I really just forget about the three long years of college where we absolutely detested each other?
Can I forget about how he would demean me in front of lecturers?
Can I forget his belittling of me because I like to make plans?
And should I forget all this just because he was nice to me today?
Think of Bethany, my inner voice demands. You’re doing this for Bethany.
If swallowing my pride means that an unfortunate woman will finally receive the help she needs, I’ll do it.
Likely reading acceptance in my expression, Ben smiles crookedly. “So, you’re in then?”
“I’m in.”
Ben sticks his hand out. “Shake on it.”
I swing my hand and grab Ben’s. His hand is warm and strong, and his palm is full of the callouses that can only result from years of weightlifting. His hand is much bigger than mine too.
Releasing my hand, Ben says, “I guess we’ve got a deal then, Mr Carthy.”
“We sure do, Mr Kehoe.”
At Connolly station, Ben accompanies me for as long as he can. The platforms are overloaded with people, no doubt as a result of the earlier suspension of trains. Thanks to the sweltering weather, a stench of stale sweat hangs in the air.
As I go through the barriers, Ben says, “Safe home, Nick.”
I continue ahead, eager to find a southbound train before it’s too late. With Ben starting to disappear from my view, I shout back, “You too.”