Chapter 41
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Christian
My chest aches as Eve follows me back to the car, her cold hand nestled in mine. When I saw her with Lucas, out in the water, I thought I was too late…and in that split-second, my entire world fell apart.
I keep replaying that moment in my head. What if I’d arrived a minute later? What if Eve hadn’t taken the necklace? There are so many different ways it could have gone wrong.
Eve’s duffel bag lies in a heap on the parking lot asphalt, abandoned where Lucas has tossed it from his car. I pick it up and put it into my trunk, then I open the passenger side door for her.
“Where am I taking you?” I ask, resisting the urge to insist I take her somewhere we can both lay low for a while. Not back to Rush House, obviously, but there are a million places we could go.
Her head drops against the backrest. She looks exhausted. “No idea. I’d asked Lucas to take me to a motel, but…” She turns her head to look at me. “Maybe that’s not such a good idea anymore.”
“Yeah.” I slide into the driver’s seat and turn the heater on, blasting it. “No worries. I’ve got you.”
We head to the only place I know she’ll be safe. It’s a short drive, but on the way, her eyelids drift closed, and I reach out to place my hand on hers. Her skin is cold against mine, and something in my chest fractures and breaks. Maybe it’s my calcified heart.
I can’t fucking lose her.
I can’t.
And for the first time in my entire fucking life, I have no idea what to do.
When we reach our destination, I park, but keep the engine idling, so I don’t have to turn off the heat. She’s cold, and after the adrenaline wore off, her body finally gave in to exhaustion. I need to get her inside, get her out of those wet clothes, but I’m reluctant to leave this little bubble where I can be near her, watch her, protect her…
But who’s going to protect her from you? My mind echoes.
It’s true. When Eve is with me, she’s in danger. Not just from Lucas, but from a host of other people in the Burning Crown who don’t trust her. Lucas is just a symptom of a much bigger problem.
I tilt my head back against the headrest and swallow back the wave of grief that engulfs me, making it hard to breathe.
I have to do something that’s going to destroy me.
I have to walk away from the one person who brings color to my dark and dreary world. The only person who’s ever really seen me and been brave enough not to look away.
The thought of never seeing her smile again, never hearing her laugh, never feeling the heat of her skin...it fucks me up inside. But keeping her close is selfish, and I’ve been selfish for too long already.
I have no choice but to let her go.
Even if it kills me.