Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
TEDDY
I can’t help the anticipation I have when I get out of my last class. It was hard to concentrate most of the day, my thoughts drifting to West. My phone dings with a text, and it’s Willa letting me know she’s out by the Jeep. When I make my way outside, she’s leaning up against it.
“Rich gave me the keys.” Willa holds them up. “He took off with someone.”
“Black charger?” I ask, recalling the car from the morning.
“Kinda boxy but sporty? When it starts, it’s super loud.”
“Yeah,” I laugh, snagging the keys from her. Willa doesn’t drive. We have tried to teach her, but it never goes well. We both hop in.
“You want to get shakes?” she asks when I pull out of the parking lot.
“Sure.” I love a good strawberry shake, but damn, I was wanting to get back to the house. Back to West. It might not be the worst if I don’t rush home. It may come off as desperate, and that’s the last thing I want.
“You think it will be weird to see him?” Willa takes a sip of her vanilla shake.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I didn’t think I was shy, but with him?—”
“It’s different?” she finishes for me, a smile lighting up her face.
“It’s different,” I agree.
“Like in our books.”
“I suppose so.” I didn’t think that was real, but I hoped it was. Living on the island, I was starting to think I hadn’t crushed on anyone because of the limited pool, but maybe I was just waiting for something special.
“So you’re going to go for it?”
“Would that bother you?” I hadn't thought about that. It’s her uncle, after all.
“Only because I worry.”
“Oh.” Shit.
“About you, Teddy. He’s older, and your first whatever this is. I don’t want to call him a boyfriend, because he’s not a boy. What do adults call it?”
“A lover?” I suggest. “But that sounds deeper. I mean, we only fell asleep together. Nothing has happened between us,” I remind her. Yet it feels as though we have some sort of connection. Or maybe I’ve made more of it than it is. I have so many questions of my own that it’s hard to explain.
"One evening, he was suddenly watching reality TV with you and cuddling, despite the fact that he rarely communicates with anyone and prefers to remain in his wing. That is more than only worthy.”
“I don’t want to get ahead of myself is all.” I shrug. I can feel that I’m falling fast for him, which is insane. I’m always the sane and rational one.
“You can take it slow,” Willa suggests. It’s a smart idea, hell, a good one even, but everything inside of me is screaming to do the opposite. All day I have thought about kissing him. Then my thoughts become jumbled.
He’d be my first kiss. What if I was terrible at it? He’s ten years older than me. I’m sure he’s kissed a bunch of girls. Not girls—women who are his own age and have an equal amount of experience. I know he has to be having an inner battle about my age already. Him realizing I’ve never been kissed because I suck at it would only fuel that fire.
I push all of those thoughts to the back of my mind. If I continue down that path, I’ll drive myself insane for no reason. I already know that I’m going to pursue whatever this is between me and West. The attraction I have for him is too strong. I want him, and for once in my life, I’m going to put myself first.
“I don’t know if going slow is an option. Have you seen how handsome he is?”
“Gross.” Willa’s whole face scrunches.
“If you find it so gross, does that mean you’re seeing him as family?”
“He looks like my brother.” Shit, he really kind of does.
“I’ve never been attracted to Rich.” That’s kind of interesting.
It makes me believe that there is so much more to attraction than people can comprehend. I want to believe that attraction can go more in depth than people realize. Two souls recognize each other on a deeper level even before you get to truly know the other person. A bit of fate, I suppose. Maybe I need to lay off the romance books.
“He told me that I look like his mother, my grandmother.” Damn, now I can understand that softness I always see on West’s face when he talks to Willa or even glances her way. He must be seeing his mom. I wonder if that is good or bad for him. It could be a painful reminder or possibly a pleasant one.
“Really?” There aren’t photos around the house like you’d find in the guesthouse with Mom and me. We have them everywhere, but the Haven main residence has never been that way. It’s cold. The twins' bedrooms are the only areas where personal touches are present.
“He said he has some pictures he’ll get me copies of. I’m curious, you know?” Willa shrugs her shoulders. “We have no clue about our mom, but now I can see the face of a woman from my family.”
“I get that.” There are a couple of pictures of my father that my mom kept for me. I at least had an idea of who he was. I’m sure he’s changed over the years, but I have never had the desire to search him out. He clearly hasn’t wanted any contact either. I have always had a dislike for him because he’d been so much older than my mom when he got her pregnant.
“Oh shit,” I breathe out.
“What?”
“It just hit me that my birth father was about ten years older than my mom when he got her pregnant with me.” Yeah, I don’t think my mom will be okay with any of this.
“Yikes.” Willa cringes. "But she was only fifteen when she gave birth to you."
“I don’t know.” I pick up my shake and take a giant drink.
When we’re done with our shakes, we head back towards the estate. “You’re thinking really loud over there,” Willa tells me when we enter through the gates.
“I don’t want to upset my mom.” She has devoted her life to me.
Everything has always been about us. The woman works and has never had much of a social life outside of hanging out with her sister before she moved away. I’ve never done anything to disappoint her. Hell, I don’t think I have ever been in trouble. She sacrificed so much to bring me into this world. I never wanted to upset her, so I made sure to keep on the straight and narrow.
“I get that, but in life sometimes we have to do things others don’t like because it’s your life. Not theirs. Your mom made the choices that she thought were best. She’s lived her life in a way so that you have that opportunity as well. You have to make the decision that’s best for you.” I nod. I get what she is saying, but I’m not sure it is that easy.
I pull the Jeep into the garage. We enter the house through the side door. The second we do, I feel my heart give a flutter of excitement. I have never experienced this kind of excitement before. It’s different, and I don’t want to lose it.
“I’m going to see what I can make for dinner,” I tell Willa.
“Cool, I’m going to change.”
“All right.” I go to the fridge to see what all we have before I go change too. Willa heads upstairs. I note what we have before checking the pantry next. I need to put in a grocery order. I go to pull my phone out of my bag but pause when I see West standing in the doorway to the pantry.
He’s in a pair of slacks and a buttoned-up shirt. The sleeves are always rolled up, displaying the tattoos on his forearms. How far up do they go?
“Hey.” I smile, speaking first. I don’t want this to be awkward. West glances around before stepping inside and closing the door behind him. When the door clicks closed, it’s as if the air around us changes.
“Hey,” he says back. His eyes roam me up and down, and I regret not having gone back to the guesthouse to change out of my uniform. He doesn’t make a move to come closer to me. The pantry is a pretty good-sized room. “About this morning.”
“Maybe don’t say anything,” I blurt out, scared that he might tell me this isn’t going to work.
“Teddy.” He softens his voice and moves to stand directly in front of me. He lifts his hand to my face, almost cupping my cheek. It feels so close and far away at the same time.
“Touch me,” I whisper, swallowing hard. I leave it in his hand. He has to make a choice. When his hand presses against my cheek, my eyes fall closed, and I lean into him. Then I feel his lips on mine, surprising me.
A surge of ardor filled me along with a desire deeper than I have ever known. I firmly grasp his shirt and return the kiss, I think shocking both myself and West equally. Our mouths part, and our tongues meet in a fierce, electrifying kiss. We both melt into each other.
It isn’t awkward, nor do I feel like I don’t know what I am doing. No, it feels exactly right. As though I was meant to kiss this man. West's arms tightly encircle me, drawing me into his embrace. His mouth moves hungrily over mine. My hands roam up his chest to his shoulder, wanting to touch all of him before I wrap them around his neck.
West lifts me into his arms, and I wrap my legs around him. He tastes like he is mine, with a hearty mix of desire that makes my heart race with excitement. Everything else fades away—the worries of why, if, or of it being wrong vanish. It is only us. All that matters in this moment is the two of us.
When West finally lifts his head and mouth from mine, we both are breathing heavily, trying to catch our breath. Neither of us speaks, only staring into each other's eyes.
There’s no way in hell I’m giving this up.