Chapter Six
––––––––
LIAM WAS COMING OVER for dinner. Normally, that wouldn’t warrant any kind of anxiousness from Ethan since they were friends.
He wasn’t coming as a friend tonight, though.
No, he was coming after they’d kissed, after Ethan had asked him if he wanted to have dinner with him and had offered to cook for him.
They both understood that something more might happen by the end of the evening, which was what Ethan wanted.
But he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been with someone without the fear that they’d find out what kind of shifter he was.
When he was younger, he wouldn’t tell people because he didn’t want to push them away, which meant he was always afraid they would find out.
More recently, he told people right away because he didn’t want to play games anymore, which meant that he often didn’t get to this stage of a relationship.
He wasn’t even sure that he and Liam were in a relationship, for fuck’s sake.
They’d kissed, and Ethan definitely wanted to be in a relationship with Liam, which was surprising, even to him.
He’d been telling himself for years that he was fine being alone, and maybe he had been, initially.
It got lonely after a while, though, and Ethan missed the easy intimacy that he could see his friends share with their partners.
He wanted that, too. He wanted to sit on the couch watch a movie, and fall asleep with his head on Liam’s shoulder.
He wanted to wake up with a crick in his neck and Liam telling him they should go to bed.
It would probably take a little while for them to get to that stage of the relationship, but this was the first step, and Ethan was excited as much as he was terrified.
Liam could cause him a lot of pain. He was the first person Ethan had trusted in a long time, and Ethan wanted to hope that he’d been right to do so.
He wouldn’t know unless he gave this a chance, though, which meant opening up and letting Liam in.
It was what he’d been forcing himself to do, and it was getting easier now that he was relaxing, but tonight would be a test, and hopefully, Liam would pass it.
Ethan couldn’t imagine him not doing so.
Maybe he was putting too much hope into this, but he was ready to have what Jonathan and West had. He was ready to have a loving partner and not have to be afraid of what he was anymore.
He stared down at the table with his hands on his hips.
He’d wanted the dinner to be nice, but he also didn’t want to go overboard, which was a little difficult.
He wanted everything to be perfect for Liam, even though Liam definitely didn’t need it.
Ethan was pretty sure that Liam would’ve been fine with a bag of takeout and a movie, but instead, Ethan had gone all out.
He’d bought fresh salmon and had put on some music.
There were candles—luckily, Liam was fire-resistant, so Ethan wouldn’t have to worry too much about something happening there—and the lights were low.
Everything was ready and perfect, or at least, as perfect as it was going to be.
Ethan was still anxious. He knew that wasn’t going to change anytime soon, so he quickly moved a few things, even though they didn’t need to be moved, and went back to the kitchen.
He puttered around there for a bit until his phone vibrated in his pocket.
He took it out to see that Liam had texted him to let him know that he was there, and his heart started racing again.
So much for having just managed to calm himself down.
He sucked in a breath, squared his shoulders, and went to open his door.
There was no reason for him to be nervous, even though this was technically their first date.
Liam had already proved to Ethan that he was someone Ethan wanted in his life.
He didn’t know how things would go or what would happen, but he knew that as long as both of them wanted this, they would probably be just as happy as Jonathan was with West and Caleb was with Austin.
It was in their hands, and Ethan liked that, because he was sure that in Liam’s hands, his heart would be secure.
He opened his door to find a bouquet of flowers being thrust at him. He reached out by instinct, blinking at the bright sunflowers. He hadn’t expected flowers, but knowing Liam, maybe he should have.
“Thank you,” he said with a smile.
Liam looked as nervous as Ethan felt. He smoothed his hands on his thighs, then shuffled his feet. “Sunflowers always make me smile, so I thought you might like them, too,” he explained.
“I do like them. Come on in.”
Liam did so, leaving his shoes by the door and following Ethan to the kitchen.
They were silent, and it was a bit awkward, but Ethan told himself to focus on putting the flowers in a vase.
Unfortunately for him, that didn’t take him nearly long enough, and after a few minutes, he found himself unsure what to say.
He and Liam stared at each other, the tension between them rising, until Liam finally chuckled and relaxed as he shook his head. “This is ridiculous.”
“We’re ridiculous,” Ethan agreed. “I guess it makes sense since this is our first official date, but it’s not like we don’t know each other.”
“Exactly. I don’t need you to impress me.”
Ethan grinned. “And you’ve already impressed me, so there’s that.”
“I have?”
“You’ve been impressing me since I told you that I’m a chimera shifter and you reacted like it was the most exciting thing in the world instead of something to be afraid of.”
Liam took a step closer and reached out to take Ethan’s hand.
He raised it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against the back of it.
It sent a shiver down Ethan’s spine, even though he was pretty sure that Liam hadn’t intended to be sexual in any way, shape, or form.
He wasn’t even sure that was what he was feeling.
He wanted Liam, but the softness and kindness in the gesture also touched him.
“You mentioned your mother,” Liam said gently.
Their first date probably wasn’t the best moment to talk about her, but if Liam needed to know, that was fine with Ethan. Liam would find out eventually. Maybe it was better to get her out of the way now.
“She didn’t know my father was a shifter, let alone a chimera shifter,” he explained. “He passed away when I was a baby. I like to think that he would’ve told her what he was eventually, but he never got the opportunity. When I shifted for the first time, she freaked out and called my grandmother.”
Liam was still holding Ethan’s hand. He squeezed it, silently telling Ethan that he was there with him. It helped more than Ethan had expected. All of that was in the past, and he’d made his peace with it, but he suspected it was always going to hurt having his own mother reject him.
“Your artistic grandmother,” Liam said.
“Yeah. She was a tattoo artist, something my mother didn’t like.
I think she felt it was too out there for an older woman.
My grandmother answered right away when my mother called, though.
She explained to her what she and my father were, and what I was, too.
My mom freaked out. My grandmother had to set down boundaries, and she had to make sure that my mother understood that nothing she could do would change what I was.
I stayed with my mother until I was about twelve.
That’s when she lost her patience. It’s when I started shifting regularly, and you know how things are at that age.
It’s not always easy to control it when your hormones are starting to get out of whack.
The day she found me in chimera form sleeping on my bed when I was supposed to be getting ready for school was the day she snapped.
She sent me to live with my grandmother.
It was the best thing that could have happened to me. ”
“But it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt,” Liam said. “I understand a bit better why you were so afraid to tell me what you were. That wound is deep, but I can promise you that I’m nothing like your mother.”
Ethan snorted. “I sure hope not.”
Liam squeezed Ethan’s hand. “I’m not joking, Ethan. I won’t reject you because of what you are. I know, and I don’t care.”
“I appreciate you saying that, but I already knew it. You don’t have to worry.
You’ve already shown me that you’re nothing like my mother.
I wouldn’t be here otherwise.” And Ethan wouldn’t be thinking about the future with Liam.
He was, though. How could he not when Liam was pretty much the most perfect man Ethan could have found for himself?
He couldn’t be more perfect if Ethan had designed him himself.
Maybe he had, and he’d manifested Liam into his life. Whatever had happened, it didn’t matter because the result wouldn’t change. Liam was here to stay.
Ethan would make sure of that.
* * * *
LIAM WASN’T SURE WHAT he’d expected from the evening.
Maybe some awkwardness at first, and they’d had a moment of that in the kitchen with the sunflowers between them and neither of them knowing what to say.
But Ethan had poured them both a glass of wine, and somewhere between the first sip and the salmon being ready, the awkwardness had vanished.
By the time they sat down to eat, their date felt more natural, almost like they’d been dating for years.
Ethan was a good cook. When Liam told Ethan, Ethan looked almost embarrassed about it, which Liam found endearing.
He didn’t seem like someone who got embarrassed easily, yet there he was, cheeks pink and waving a fork and telling Liam it was nothing special.
It was, though. The whole evening was because Ethan had obviously put a lot of thought into it.