Temporary Santa’s Knotty Workshop

Chapter 1

Willy

I smelled disgusting. Absolutely, positively, disgusting. I didn’t even want to be around myself. That’s how gross I was.

One would think, since I had been working in the edible-lube station, affectionately called Lube Lagoon, filling up bottles of various sizes for the past six hours, that I would smell fantastic.

After all, each lube was flavored and scented with all sorts of delicious things: blueberry, cotton candy, bubble gum, chocolate, peppermint.

And oddly enough, we had an up-and-coming, popular flavor of lemon.

I wrinkled my nose at the idea of that on my tongue.

Each variety was a bright color to match their flavor and with a scent just light enough that you could identify it, but without being overwhelming. Unless of course you were in the room with all the flavors, then you smelled like a sugar explosion, so much so that my tongue had gone dry.

I was tempted to plug my nose, perhaps find a nipple clamp to put on it so that I couldn’t smell anything anymore. It was awful.

Finally, I filled the last bottle for the day, put it in the sample pack, and shipped it off to the wrapping station.

We were three months away from Christmas and working diligently to stay on target.

Looking at the calendar, it was easy for us to convince ourselves we had plenty of time.

But the reality was, we were always just one mistake, one long lunch, one off shift away from being behind.

It was a lot better than it used to be, though. There was a time when we were always racing to catch up. I did not miss those times.

Thanks to Percy’s organization changes in the past two years, we would likely meet that deadline without any issue. It was the first time in a long time we’d have a Christmas season without a hiccup. But even as I had that thought, I knew better than to get too confident.

“Elf Willy, please come to Nick’s office.” The intercom boomed throughout the room.

There were giggles. There always were. Being “Willy” in the adult toy department lended itself to being the butt of many jokes. Not that I minded. I thought it was hilarious, too. I even joked that my name was an asset when I first started here.

“Perfect timing,” I said.

I slipped off my apron and tossed it in the laundry chute, then made my way to Nick’s office.

For most people, being called to the boss’s office was anxiety-inducing. It was the elf equivalent of being called into the principal’s office; 99 times out of 100 it was because you did something wrong. And it didn’t matter if you had the world’s nicest principal or not, it still sucked.

Nick was the world’s best boss, but even so, you didn’t want to be in trouble with him. And it actually made it worse, because not only did you mess up, but you disappointed someone as great as he was.

But I wasn’t worried about any of that. My best friend was his mate, and I knew that I hadn’t done anything to get in trouble. I was on the good list. I always was. If there was a best list, I’d be on that. Maybe I should put that in the suggestion box.

I knocked before going in, but the door opened right away.

Inside the office, Nick sat at his desk, wearing his red pants, white button-up shirt, and candy-cane-striped suspenders. He was not like the other, round Santas. Our Santa was more of a Daddy bear-looking type with biceps the size of most men’s thighs.

He was definitely a good-looking man, but I wasn’t looking because this man was taken. Plus, he was my boss.

Percy, his mate and my bestie, was also there.

The two of them were the perfect couple.

Just being around them had me thinking about what it would be like to have a mate of my own.

Not that I was looking. Who had time for that?

Making sure the workshop stayed on target meant I had zero time for a social life.

“You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Yes, sit down.” Nick gestured to the chair.

Percy came over and sat on Nick’s knee. “We have a really big favor to ask. You’re the only one we trust.”

“Oh, what is it? How can I help? Do you need me to watch the little guy? Cause you know I’ll always do that.”

Their young son was named after me, and I had a deep love for the little guy. Being Uncle Willy was the best. I got to play with him, and then when it was time to go home, I went on my merry way to my nice quiet home and sleep for a week.

“Well, you know, things have been a little crazy for the past two years, what with getting mated, having a kid, and all of that.”

“Of course. You both have done great, though. Things are running smoothly.”

They exchanged a glance. “Things are running smoothly, and there’s absolutely no reason why we won’t remain totally on target for this season. This is shaping up to be one of our smoothest seasons of all.”

“Of course,” I said. “And that’s all thanks to you two.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Willy. You’ve done a lot to help us out as well,” Nick said.

Was I getting a raise? No. They said they were going to ask a favor. And really, I didn’t need a raise, but a nice bonus and few extra days off wouldn’t hurt.

“What do you need?” I asked. “I’m more than happy to help.”

“Well, we’d like to go on vacation,” Percy said.

I’d been pestering them to take some time away together for what felt like ages.

They had a great life here, but one thing that had to be rough on them was that they were never “off” of work.

They could plan a whole entire day of family fun, and one issue at the factory and Nick was back to work.

It was the way of things when you were Santa.

“That’s a wonderful idea! I can start planning that for January.

That’s our slow time. Are you thinking beach resort or more of a family-friendly type of place?

Maybe somewhere in the mountains?” I’d never planned a vacation, but I was addicted to the travel shows.

I was sure I could come up with something amazing.

“Not January, Willy.” Percy looked at his mate, who nodded in reply. “We want to go on vacation now.”

My eyes widened. “Before Christmas?”

“Through Christmas,” Nick said, and I nearly fell out of my chair.

I gasped. “You can’t do that. Who will deliver the presents?”

Nick cleared his throat. “Apparently, it is a requirement of all Santas to have a certain number of vacation days. And you have to take them. No one ever told me this.”

“And unfortunately, Nick has not been complying with the policy. So he needs to take twelve weeks off before the end of the year,” Percy added.

I did the math in my head. It was not pretty.

“Twelve weeks puts us AT the end of the year!” The very end. Meaning Christmas would have already happened.

“It does. We leave tomorrow.” Percy sounded thrilled by what was happening, and I could see why. Twelve weeks with his family and no work responsibilities, but still… tomorrow?

My jaw hit the floor. “Tomorrow?” Well, spank my ass and call me a dirty boy. We were fucked. Well and truly fucked.

“But we need a Santa. We need—”

Nick raised a hand. “I’ve called in a favor with my brother. He’s going to fill in, but he’ll need help, and that’s where you come in.”

I knew Nick had a brother but hadn’t met him. What could he possibly know about this side of Christmas present fun? Not much.

So many scenarios ran through my mind. Without Nick here to keep everyone in line, there would be chaos. “Surely they will give you an exception. Just this one time. You can take three months off at the beginning of the year. They have to know that you can’t take time off during Christmas.”

“The decision has been finalized. It’s out of our hands.

This came from up top.” Nick sounded as unpleased about it as I did.

He’d never been one who liked being told what to do with his factory.

I’d seen elves on the receiving end of his ire when they decided to butt in and demand he change something. It was not pretty.

I didn’t know where the candy canes up top was or who ran it, but I’d like to have a conversation with them. I took a deep breath. We could do this. This wouldn’t be a big deal. It would be like taking one of our monster dildos up the ass without lube, but we could do it.

“Does your brother have any experience being Santa?” I asked.

“No. We actually haven’t even spoken to him yet.”

Never mind the fact that he had just told me his brother had agreed to do it. “Oh, goodness, but he would do an okay job, right?”

“Of course,” Nick said, although for the first time in perhaps my entire career here, I did not believe his words. I wasn’t sure he believed them either.

His entire plan was based on his brother, who had no Santa experience, not only having the time available to come, but then agreeing to drop everything to do so. That was a whole lot that had to fall into place for this to have half a chance of working.

“So you’ll do it, you’ll help?” Percy looked at me with his eyes wide open, his puppy-dog face slapped on. It wasn’t as if I’d have been able to turn him down. He was my ride-or-die.

I didn’t think I had a choice. “Of course, sir. I’m the right elf for the job.”

My voice sounded more sure than I actually was.

I was great at the parts of this division I worked in, but helping train someone to do Nick’s job?

I wasn’t sure I even understood all it entailed.

This was going to be a true test of faking it until you made it, only in this scenario, it wasn’t me who was on the line—it was Christmas.