Chapter 26
Elodie
Skylar watches me with caution as I hold my engagement ring up to the light.
We’re sitting opposite each other on the grass in the school quad. It’s early—before school. Usually, we’d meet in the breakroom and have coffee, but I needed the air.
I keep my eyes glued to the ring. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.
The sunlight instantly catches it, making the diamond sparkle like a million stars are being held captive within the glass. I swear everyone can see it from here. Everyone in the world.
I’ve hardly seen real diamonds in real life, let alone one like this. And there’s no way I thought I’d ever own one.
Assholes don’t tend to buy things with such sentiment for people who don’t matter. Then again, not even the ring is about me. It’s about him—Dorian. When people see me wearing such a lavish piece of jewelry, it makes him look good.
It’s from Graff, and I think it might be custom made. It looks it.
My mother loved jewelry. She said you could tell when a piece was uniquely designed because there was always something about the craftsmanship that felt personal. Mom could go a step further and tell you about unusual settings, mixed metals, and design details I never would’ve noticed.
All I know about my engagement ring is that it must have cost a fuck ton of money.
“How much do you think I’d get for this if I sold it?” I ask quietly, holding the ring higher. “I mean, technically, it’s a gift. Gifts aren’t included in the contract.”
“I’m not sure it works like that.”
My gaze flicks to Skylar then back to the ring.
“Must be worth at least the hundred and twenty thousand dollars I owe Dorian. Right?” My voice sounds hollow and faraway, like I’m hearing it on the edge of a strong breeze. “If it’s a gift, I could sell it and give him the money. Then I’d be free to go about my life in peace.”
“Elodie, you… look a little numb.” Skylar observes me, running her eyes over my still, tense form while she waits for an answer. I can’t give her one.
She thinks I look numb. Numb doesn’t come close to how I feel. Numb is when a part of your body is deprived of physical sensation.
How do I explain that every single part of me feels trapped in flight and fight mode? Like my insides are on fire yet Arctic cold at the same time.
It makes no sense. Nothing does.
With a frustrated sigh, I slip the ring in the side pocket of my purse.
“Shouldn’t you be wearing that?” She borrows the same quiet tone I used.
“Not here. Not at work. This place is still mine. Out there”—I point way ahead to the gates—“that’s his world. He can’t have me here.”
“Elodie… Maybe you should take the day off. Go home and cool off.”
“No.” The word comes out harsher than I intend. “I have no damn home.”
Her brows pinch. I was harsh, but I know she understands. I told her what happened this morning.
“Do you want to come stay with me for the night? It may be a change of scenery.” She offers a kind smile, the kind only a friend can give you because they understand how shitty you feel.
I should accept the offer. It may make me feel better.
But there is no point. Wherever I went for a change of scenery would be temporary.
And it always leads me back home to him.
Except my soon-to-be husband may not always be there.
Then I’d have to guess if he was away on business or pleasure with Miss Susan. Or whoever it may be that week. Or day.
“It’s best I don’t. But thank you.” My voice is softer now.
“My door is always open if you want to get away.”
“I appreciate that.”
Skylar leans forward, pressing her palm against the soft tuft of grass. “Please don’t allow yourself to fall apart because of this morning.”
“It’s too late for that. I’m ready to snap.
” I let out a cynical laugh. “What kind of asshole gives a woman an engagement ring, then lines up another woman for the same night?” Dorian picked the suite for Susan, and from the way Albert made it sound, I could tell it was something that happened often.
And stupid me, I had to just sit there and listen to it.
I was so embarrassed. Then I realized it was my fault again for ending up in such a situation.
My contract with Dorian didn’t sign itself. I signed it. I agreed to every single one of his terms and conditions on the premise that I wanted a better life.
What did I think was actually going to happen when he told me we’d live separate lives?
“What if Susan is a client?” Skylar suggests, her eyes hopeful. “Maybe you misinterpreted the conversation.”
“I don’t think so. She didn’t sound like a client.”
Skylar pouts. “Okay, so maybe not a client. Maybe she is something else. I can’t imagine Albert arranging a date for Dorian with you right there.”
“Albert brought me the contract. He knows everything that’s going on and what my relationship with Dorian is supposed to be. I don’t think he’d think that way if he’s been told we’ll live separate lives.”
She nibbles on the inside of her lip, unable to find anything more to disprove me. Unless Dorian clears this up, she won’t find anything.
“I think Susan is someone he’s seeing. And I have to accept that.” I sigh and let my hand fall to my lap.
Skylar frowns. “I think that might be the way forward. Even if Susan isn’t someone he’s seeing.”
I glance heavenward, as though the sky can give me answers. Nothing comes. “We’re only just getting started. We’re getting married next Saturday. Once we do, this will be my life for years, and I’m already tapped out.”
“I can see that.” Skylar bites the inside of her lip.
“I don’t feel like myself, Skylar.” I look back at her.
“But I don’t know if that’s entirely my fault.
I can’t figure him out. Dorian Vale is like Jekyll and Hyde.
It feels real when… when he kisses me. And when he helped me with Marcus…
we didn’t have a contract then. One minute he’s nice to me, the next he’s Mr. Reserved and all businesslike.
I hate it. You can never tell what a person is truly like when they’re so flippant. ”
“I think that’s the problem. You’re expecting the nice version of him who saved you to show up, but he’s not. You can only rely on yourself, so either you do this or not.”
“There is no or not. I signed the contract. I’m bound by it now.” Which means I wouldn’t even have the option to repay the debt. And sure, I know I can’t sell the engagement ring; that would make me look even worse.
“Then you accept it, as you have. What’s happening sounds awful, but you…”
“Agreed to it,” I finish for her.
She nods stiffly. “And please don’t hate me, but I think it’s possible that you’re stuck in your old feelings for him. You seem deeply upset.”
God, I truly, truly wish she were wrong. I wish I could tell her I feel nothing of the sort, but I can’t even muster the energy it would take to lie.
Skylar narrows her gaze, assessing me and my hesitation. “Elodie.”
I release a long, frustrated sigh. I’ve told her everything so far, everything except the night of the yacht party when Dorian and I took things too far.
“Has something happened between you two?” Her spine snaps straight, and now she’s glaring at me, her cheeks flushed with surprise.
“Yes and no.” I wince.
“Oh my God. What does yes and no mean? Did you sleep with him?” She leans closer, as if we’re talking about some great secret.
“Almost.”
“Holy shit. When did this happen?” she shrieks. “And why in hell didn’t you tell me?”
My shoulders sag. “I didn’t want to talk about it. It happened the night of the yacht party.”
“Ugh.” She shakes her head. “I knew you’d been acting strange.”
“I’m sorry.” My gaze falls to my lap.
“Don’t be. Do you want to talk about it now?”
I meet her gaze. “It’s best I don’t. I’m already upset.”
“Regardless of the arrangement, I’d be upset, too.”
“I just didn’t expect it to be this way.” I drag a hand over my face. “God, I’m… I’m turning into my mother. Marrying some rich guy to secure a better life, but all that’s waiting for me is misery.”
My mother never made it sound like her marriage to my father was anything like that, but it was obvious to anyone with eyes. She came from a hard life in Oklahoma. My father offered stability, and she fell for him. While I was sure he liked the idea of her, he never loved her.
He didn’t even respect her. She died holding my hand, still believing the lie I told her that my father was on the way to see her, to say goodbye.
He was already done with her from the instant the doctors told him she had days left to live. My father, for as good as he was, was in the Maldives with one of his women when Mom passed.
Skylar reaches forward, takes my hand, and gives my knuckles a reassuring squeeze. “You are not your mother.”
“I am, though. And the same type of shit she went through with my father is going to happen to me.”
“Only if you let it.”
I gaze at her, contemplating her words.
“What can I do to help? Tell me.” She squeezes my hand again. “I want to cheer you up. And just so you know, I wouldn’t be against skipping school and spending the day eating and shopping.”
I laugh. I’m surprised I can still do that, but Skylar is the kind of girl who can bring anyone out of a sour mood. Even for a heartbeat.
“Sounds tempting, but I can’t. The kids are preparing for their mock exams. I don’t want to let them down because… I’m stuck in my feelings.”
“I hear you. Just know I’m here for you.”
“I know. You always are.”
She releases my hand and gives me a firm stare. “You can have a separate life, too, Elodie. This isn’t just a one-way thing.”
“I know.”
“Good. Then guard your heart. That’s all you can do if you want to get through this marriage arrangement.”
Guard my heart.
It’s good advice, but like most things that make sense, it’s easier said than done.
* * *
My wedding day arrives before I’m ready for it. Like time folded in on itself and dragged me here before my mind could catch up.