Chapter 33 #2
One corner of his mouth lifts, widening that sexy smile. “Where else would I be?”
I can’t help but smile back at him. It feels like the first real smile I’ve ever given him.
“Come here,” he says, crooking his finger.
I don’t hesitate.
Wrapping the sheet around me, I slip out of bed and cross the room, stopping just in front of him. He towers over me, making me feel smaller than I am.
We just look at each other.
Waiting.
“Thought you’d be in Chicago,” I say after a few seconds pass.
“No.” He shakes his head. “I’m not going. It’s dawned on me that there’s somewhere more important I need to be.” He nods with conviction.
I won’t assume. “Where’s that?”
He looks at me for a long moment and his shoulders relax. “Wherever you are.”
My breath catches. This doesn’t feel real. Like I’m still dreaming. Like I never woke up at all.
In all the time I’ve known him—practically my entire life—I’ve never heard him say anything like that.
And he says it so easily.
“Me,” I whisper.
“You, Lamb.”
My heart pounds so hard it almost hurts.
“You’ve gone pale,” he says, studying me.
“I’m just trying to figure out if you’ve been replaced by an alien,” I mutter. “Because this version of you is… new.”
A quiet huff of amusement leaves him. “Fair.”
“What changed, Dorian?” I search his eyes.
“Everything I thought wouldn’t.” He pauses for a beat, lowers his head, then returns his gaze to me. “I know I’ve been difficult. And this arrangement we have has been …challenging to say the least.”
I press my lips together. That’s one way to put it.
“I’m not the easiest person to be with.” He keeps his eyes on me.
From the uneasiness there I can see he’s trying.
For me. “I guess maybe that’s because things haven’t always been easy for me.
I hate saying that because I know how it sounds.
There are people who are far worse off than me.
The billionaire. But you can have all the money in the world, never want for anything, and still have a tough time. ”
One thought surfaces. His mother.
I never knew how far her cruelty went, but what I did know was enough.
He and Knox took the worst of it.
But Dorian…
He’s the silent type. The one who endures.
The kind of person who sits with it. Carries it. Suffers without ever letting it show.
“I know,” I say softly, giving a small nod.
His gaze lingers on me, like he understands the parts that I’m not saying.
“I want to start over, Elodie.”
A small smile touches my lips. “Start over?”
He nods. “I know I fucked up big time, so I’m asking for another chance.”
“To do what? Because you kind of saved me from a real big predicament.” Not kind of. He did save me. I will never forget that. “Twice—the auction and Marcus. But who’s counting.”
“I’m not talking about those parts. But maybe the third time’s the charm. I want the chance to make you dream again.” His voice lowers. “I don’t want you to stop being the dreamer. I liked that girl. I always did, and I want her back. She brought light into my very dark soul.”
For a moment, I just look at him.
I wasn’t ready for that.
He liked that girl. The dreamer.
The version of me I’ve been trying to quiet just to survive and keep up.
He always liked her—as in the past. So… he noticed me back then, too. My poor little teenaged heart does a small, ridiculous leap.
The words slowly settle, deep in my chest, and something long forgotten stirs.
But I don’t trust myself to speak yet.
“I think if we start over, I could get her back,” he continues.
“Where would you start over?” The words come out shaky as I find my voice.
“Where do you want me to start from?”
I chuckle, liking this game but finding it hard. “I don’t know. I want to keep all the good parts. The memories.”
“Then maybe I can rewrite the bad parts.”
My heart stills, then tightens as if it’s bracing itself again. “Can you?”
“Yes. I can start with this.” He pauses and tilts his head.
“Miss Susan. She’s ninety-years-old and practically part of the family.
She was my grandmother’s best friend. I don’t know why, but she insists that I handle all her affairs.
Apparently, she likes the way I work. She says it’s similar to my grandfather.
She suffers from anxiety. It got worse when her husband passed.
We meet in the restaurant of her hotel when she’s feeling okay.
When she’s not and she misses him most, we meet in the suite.
Because she always breaks down. The other week was his birthday, so I knew she’d want to meet in the suite.
The anniversary of his death is next week.
I know she’ll want to meet in the suite. ”
My scalp tightens with this information and I suddenly feel foolish for all the things I thought. “Oh my God. That’s so… sweet.” And there’s no way I would have thought that he would do something so nice. “I thought…” I trail off, too mortified to say the rest out loud now that I know the truth.
“Whatever you thought is what I made you think.”
I frown. “Why? Why would do that?”
He shakes his head. “At first, I thought it made sense.”
Understanding dawns, but the hurt is still raw. “Because we were supposed to have separate lives.”
“Yeah. Then it became stupid.”
“And…you don’t want separate lives now?” I need to hear him say it again. I need to know I didn't imagine it.
“No.” The simple word rearranges everything, but there’s still one more thing I need to get off my chest.
“You said you’d never love me.” That’s the one thing I've carried since he said it. The one thing I couldn't bury no matter how hard I tried. And now it's out there. I've just laid myself bare and there's no taking it back.
His eyes hold mine and even though my hands are shaking I don’t look away.
“I lied. Clearly. Because I’m obsessed with you.”
My knees almost buckle. A tremor of races through my core, shooting straight to my heart. I stare back at him. Just stare, mindlessly, wordlessly, speechless. Every single fight, every cold silence, every night I spent convincing myself he didn't care, when he did.
Dorian’s stare deepens. “I tried not to be, but I can’t stop myself.”
“Don’t. I don’t want you to.”
“Good, because I don’t plan to. You broke me in the best way possible, little Lamb.”
My God. For years I fought my feelings for him. Having a chance to give them permission to breathe felt freeing.
He reaches forward and takes my hand. He looks at my rings and brings my hand up to his lips to kiss my knuckles. “Is that a yes, then? You’ll give me another chance?” He looks hopeful.
“Yes, of course I will.” I smile up at him.
He presses my knuckles to his cheek. “Thank you, Lamb.” He gives me another kiss, but doesn’t let go. “Now we need to talk about the future.”
I laugh. “You’re moving fast, Mister. The past, now the future.”
“It’s the next step. We need to know where we’re going.”
“Okay.” I chuckle. “Where are we going?”
A cunning look settles in his eyes. “First, we’re going to get dressed. Then we’ll have breakfast.”
I give him a thin stare. “That doesn’t sound very interesting.”
“Because that’s just the start of the day.”
“What are we going to do for the rest of it? Can we at least go back to bed… together.”
“Oh, that will come.” His mouth curves. “But how about we go back to bed together in England.”
I gasp. My hand flies to my chest. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
England. Did he just say… England?
“What?”
“We’re going to England.” He grins.
“Today?”
“Today.”
My chin trembles and then I'm done. The tears stream down my cheeks and I don't even try to stop them. “Oh my God. But we have work and—”
“No. I’ll take care of it. You don’t have to worry about work or anything.”
I huff out a laugh. “Really?”
“Yes. For three weeks.”
I squeal and throw myself in his arms. And he just holds me. “This is the best surprise I’ve ever had. Thank you.”
“No. Thank you, Lamb.”
He pulls me even closer and I swear I fall deeper in love with him.
And I know I’ll keep falling and falling.
I always have.