Chapter Eight #2
“Will do. More when I have it.” Dante disconnects the call.
“No news?” Mia asks as I place my phone on the leather ottoman beside my open computer.
“Half and half.” I tell her what Dante found out about Kayla’s current boyfriend. “So I’m hoping to tie her to drugs and get her out of Bailey’s life once and for all. As for your guy… I’m sorry. Nothing yet.”
I pat the couch beside me, and she eases in next to me. I feel the warmth of her body, and my dick is growing hard. It doesn’t take much for me to want her. A glance, a touch.
“Don’t worry. We’ll find something to prove Alexander is behind the break-in,” I assure her.
“I hope so. It’s unnerving to think I have to testify with him sitting across from me, knowing he’s willing to go pretty far to scare me off.”
I pull her into my arms. “My guys are good—” Before I can go on, the video chat on the computer I have open in front of the sofa interrupts us with a ring.
I shoot Mia a regret-filled glance before looking at the name on the screen. Mia scrambles out of my embrace and the screen viewing area, and though I understand why, I feel a pang of regret as I hit accept.
“Bailey Button!” I say as my daughter’s little face shows up on the screen. She has high pigtails on either side of her head, obviously courtesy of her grandmother, and she grins, her missing teeth making me smile.
“I miss you!” I say.
“I miss you, too, Daddy.” She sounds funny, and a deeper look shows me her eyes are glassy.
“What’s wrong, princess?” I ask.
“I have a cold.” She treats me to a big, deliberate sniff. “And Grandma says I have temperature.”
My heart squeezes as it always does when my daughter gets sick.
“And I miss Mia,” Bailey says on a whine.
I can’t help but grin. I extend my hand to Mia, out of screen view.
She doesn’t take it, but she slides closer so she can be in the screen area. “Hey, Bailey. You don’t feel well?”
Bailey shakes her head. “I miss you,” she says again.
“Me, too.”
I have an easy fix for what ails her. “How about a visit when I get back?”
She perks up, smiling at my suggestion. “Okay, Daddy. Bring Mia, okay?”
I laugh at the expected request. “Okay.”
Bailey takes a long sniff, and I frown. I hate that she is sick and I’m not there to take care of her.
“Hey. I bet your grandma would give you orange juice if you asked. And I’m also betting grandmas give the best hugs to make you feel better.” Mia smiles, forcing Bailey to grin back.
“Grandma! Can I have orange juice?” Bailey yells, causing me to wince at the decibel level she reaches.
“Let me talk to Grandma, kiddo.”
Another yell, and my mother’s face appears in front of the screen.
“How high is her fever? Did you call Dr. James? I can be home in two hours if she needs me,” I say, already thinking about what I need to do to clean and lock up the cabin. The idea has been in the back of my mind since realizing Bailey is sick.
“Oh my God, Austin. You’d think I didn’t raise a child myself!” my mother chides me. “Bailey has a cold. Her ears don’t hurt, her throat doesn’t hurt, and she’s got 100.1. Barely a fever. If it’s not gone tomorrow, I’ll make an appointment. No reason to rush back.”
“Okay,” I say, relaxing and easing back against the cushions. It is an instinctive reaction to worry.
Just as I worry now about the fact that Mia didn’t take my hand. I don’t understand and wonder what happened in the few minutes that caused her to back off.
“Grandma, orange juice,” Bailey says to my mother.
“Please,” Mia and I automatically say at the same time.
I grin, but she doesn’t smile in return. I shoot her a curious look, wondering what is wrong.
“We’ll be home tomorrow anyway. But I need you to keep Bailey for a little while longer. I hope we’re close to wrapping up at last one of the problems,” I say, not wanting to mention Kayla in front of Bailey and upset her.
“Okay, say bye to Daddy and Mia,” my mom says.
“Bye!” Bailey says.
“Feel better,” Mia says.
“Love you,” I add.
No sooner has the screen gone blank than Mia rises and walks across the room. “Is something wrong?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “I’m just a little tired. I thought I’d lie down and take a nap.”
Considering I woke her during the night, her explanation makes sense. I believe her… up until she heads for the room with her suitcase and not my bedroom in order to lie down and rest.
* * *
Mia
I stretch out on the bed I’ve yet to sleep in and stare at the ceiling. I know I overreacted and didn’t make any sense to Austin, not when I refused to take his hand or when I chose this room in which to nap. I caught the surprised look on his face when I didn’t go to his bedroom to lie down.
What could I say to him, though? That when he held out his hand, out of sight from his mother and Bailey, I was smacked in the face with the reminder that our relationship is a secret?
Will remain a secret? That I’m not his girlfriend, and I shouldn’t be spinning ideas about the future just because he held my hand when we walked through the woods?
Or talked about him sharing the holidays with me and me seeing his family traditions?
Or how incredibly intense sex with him just happens to be?
I raise my head, punch the pillow, and turn onto my side.
Although I can’t rationalize all of my actions, like the hand-holding in the woods, I can, however, justify why he keeps our joined hands out of view of his daughter.
Bailey is used to me as her nanny. Seeing me hold hands with her daddy would only confuse her…
and maybe even cause the little girl to spin stories of her own, thinking we are more of a family than is accurate or true.
With the weekend ending soon, it isn’t too soon to start putting my own walls back in place.
And if Austin pushes me for answers on my withdrawal…
well, the truth will suffice. Because I have no doubt he doesn’t want a relationship in the true sense of the word.
And I am at risk of losing my heart to the man.
The same heart that warns me I already did.
I don’t realize I’ve fallen asleep until I woke up to a knock on my door. I roll over. The sun has gone down, and the room is dark, no light from the windows streaming through.
“Come in!” I push myself upright in bed.
Austin opens the door. “Light,” he says before he hits the wall switch and the nightstand lamp turns on.
I blink, my eyes adjusting. He walks into the room, having changed into his favorite relaxing outfit, a pair of black track pants and a random tee shirt.
Today’s says Alpha on the front… and Security on the back.
He always looks sexy, especially now, with wind-tousled hair he didn’t comb and a worried look on his handsome face.
“Sleep well?” he asks, stepping inside.
I nod. “I guess the fresh air really hit me hard.”
He settles on the edge of the mattress, leaning an arm near my hip and taking my hand in his.
His palms are warm as his fingers wrap around my hand. How do I feel such a simple touch throughout my entire body like I touched a live wire?
“I’d like to know what changed,” he says, his eyes locking onto mine, not letting me escape his probing gaze and the questions he has. “You froze up during that phone call and rushed to sleep… not in the bed we shared last night.”
I sigh, having anticipated his directness. Austin is a straight shooter. “It’s just… I was reminded of my place,” I say, choosing the simplest explanation.
“Your place.” His brow furrows. “I definitely don’t understand.” And he still holds my hand tightly in his.
I swallow hard and curl my legs beneath me. I gather my courage before speaking. “If I’m going to continue to be Bailey’s nanny, I can’t also be sleeping with you on the one hand and a secret we need to hide from everyone on the other.” I can’t emotionally handle it.
Sex with him taught me I’m not equipped for a casual fling. I never meant to send him mixed signals, leading him to believe an affair is okay with me when it isn’t. There is no way I could have anticipated the total way he took over my mind, my thoughts, and my heart after I got involved with him.
“It was amazing, Austin, but we can’t have an affair and expect life to go on as normal. We both want different things for our futures. It’s best to admit we got it out of our systems and go forward the way we began. As employer and employee.”
He stays silent, and I can’t read him.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I thought I could do casual, but apparently it’s not in my DNA.”
Not that I really know what is in my DNA. I barely remember my parents, but sex for the sake of sex apparently isn’t part of my genetic makeup.
He stares at me for a good, long while, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think I hurt his feelings.
But he can’t be hurt. That would mean our time together means something special to him and that would leave me thinking he wants more.
Thoughts I can’t afford to have. Besides, if he is hurt, if he wants more, he’ll tell me and not let me end things.
“I have to respect your wishes,” he finally says, letting my hand slip out of his.
I feel the loss, an icy grip taking hold of my heart. “I appreciate that.”
He studies me, a frown on his face. “Just so you know… it’s not out of my system,” he mutters. “You’re not out of my system.”
He isn’t out of mine, either, but it is better to pretend that he is. No way will I admit to him that my biggest fear was getting attached to him—and I did. And of falling hard for him—and I did that, too.
* * *
Austin
The next morning, the car ride home passes in uncomfortable silence. I know I should behave better, but I am pissed. Pissed our weekend blew up in my face and pissed that I understand why and can’t change it.