Chapter 37 Erin #2
It takes a few snaps for him to settle into it, but by the time Paige has hugged him into submission, he’s laughing openly, and my entire pelvic area is in turmoil.
Then three words from Paige solidify me to the spot. “You too, Mom.”
I stand rigid and speechless, vaguely aware of Mallorie taking the phone from my hands and gently pushing me into the frame.
Paige stretches out an arm, drawing me into her as she nestles in between Augusto and me. I do my best to ignore the fact Augusto’s arm is touching the length of mine and smile as authentically as I can.
“Closer,” Mallorie instructs. “Have Paige stand in front of you.”
This right here is the very end of our friendship.
I try to communicate this through narrowed eyes as Augusto steps into my side and wraps an arm around my waist.
God, I melt into him.
“Smile!” Mallorie orders, brightly.
I force something as close to a smile as I possibly can while Mallorie takes her goddamn time drawing out the photographs.
Never have I been so relieved to hear the doorbell ring. Paige springs away from us to greet Meredith, leaving Augusto and me to separate awkwardly. I’m thankful that the next thirty minutes are filled to bursting with squeals, more photos, frantic calls to other friends and makeup mishaps.
In the midst of it all, Mallorie offers to drive Paige and Meredith to the school and Mom weirdly agrees to go with them.
After I’ve hugged my daughter as much as she’ll let me and sobbed a few tears, they all disappear out the front door in a cloud of glitter, perfume and sequins, leaving the house silent and filled with a tension I have no idea how to negotiate.
It’s just us. Me and Augusto.
For the first time in eighteen months.
I turn slowly to see he’s already watching me. Like he always did.
He releases a breath so heavily it’s like he’s been holding it since I drove away from the safe house.
“I missed you,” he says, gruffly.
The words hit me so hard I almost collapse.
“I missed you too,” I reply, breathlessly.
Moments pass, my breaths becoming increasingly shallow. If he doesn’t kiss me in the next ten seconds, I—
One step and his mouth is on mine.
I let go like I’ve just been fed oxygen for the first time in months.
His hand grasps the back of my head, fingers snaking through my hair. His other hand comes up to my jaw, holding me still as he takes my mouth in his, swirling his tongue around mine like he’s remembering how I taste.
My knees buckle and his hand slides down my throat, my ribcage then wraps around my back, keeping me there. All the while, my fingers are gripping his sides, digging into him, making sure he’s real and not just a figment of my imagination.
Our lips part for a beat. Just long enough for the words, “I haven’t stopped thinking about you,” to leave his lungs.
I smooth my hands up to his face, pulling him back onto my lips. Now I’ve got him, I don’t ever want to let him go.
He dips his tongue back into my mouth with a long moan, his hands now groping my body everywhere. It’s like all the decorum and restraint he’s been showing since he stepped through the door has gone. Fled. And now he’s taking exactly what he wants, exactly as he wants it.
His hands come up under my armpits and he lifts me easily.
I wrap my legs around his waist and kiss his beautiful mouth as he carries me to the sofa.
Our mouths don’t detach even as he falls to the soft surface with a jolt.
My knees come down either side of his thighs, and I’m yanking at his belt so fast even my brain can’t catch up.
“Oh fuck,” he breathes hotly into my mouth. “Erin, I didn’t… I—”
He stops when my fingers breach the fabric and drift across the soft, velvety skin of his cock.
“Jesus Christ,” he pants. “Erin—”
I pull him out and wrap my hand around the shaft, then withdraw my mouth to release a long, lusty breath.
He stares up at me, pupils blown, lips all wet. “That’s not what I came here for,” he rushes out.
A shiver of doubt zigzags down my spine. “What? Don’t you—”
He places a paw over my mouth.
“I want it,” he says, his eyes darting side to side over mine. “God, I want it so badly I will come in less than a minute my angel. But…”
He swallows and my chest hardens in response.
“I need you to know I didn’t come here for sex. I came here to celebrate Paige and…” Another breath rushes out of him and his lids fall shut. “And to see you.”
I blink, my insides roiling. What is he trying to say?
After a long, agonizing pause, he continues. “I needed to see you were safe and... I needed to see with my own eyes what Paige has been telling me.”
His hand slides from my mouth and comes to rest on my hip.
My words are a vague whisper. “What has she been telling you?”
Another long pause as he regards me. “That you’re a shadow. That you live your life every day guided only by how happy others are. That since you left the safe house, you’ve been… changed.”
I stare back at him. It all sounds frighteningly familiar but I would never have admitted any of this to myself. All in the name of protecting my daughter.
“I needed to see it for myself,” he continues, softly. “To know that, since that day, a part of you has been missing.”
A tear rolls down my cheek and he wipes it away with a coarse thumb.
“Just like…” He swallows again, seemingly afraid of the weight his words carry. “Just like a part has been missing from me.”
Only slightly aware I’m still holding his now-hard cock in one hand, I lift my other to cup his face. I want to capture the sincerity in his features, hold onto it, breathe it in every day.
“I fucking love you, Erin.”
My heart stops, my mouth falls open. Only when I regain some small measure of composure do I reply. “But, it’s been eighteen months…”
“Eighteen months of missing you and loving you deeper and deeper every day. Eighteen months of pure, unbridled hell.”
He finishes the sentence with an angry grunt.
I feel every word in my bones, because they echo exactly how I’ve felt. How I feel.
“God, Augusto,” I whisper, shaking my head. “I love you too.”
He stares back at me for a long moment then leans forward and strokes his lips over mine. It’s so soft and gentle I question it’s even happening.
“Let me love you,” he whispers. “Just… let me.”
His fingers deftly work the buttons on my jeans while I taste every word that touches my lips.
“Don’t run away from me again, Erin.”
He lifts me with one hand and slides the waistband over my hips, down my legs with the other. I kick the jeans off and nestle over him again, our mouths drifting together, sparking fireworks all over my skin.
“Let me make you happy.”
I sink onto his lips giving him my answer. I’ve been apart from him for too long. Even the danger his world represents doesn’t bother me now. If he’s safe enough for my daughter, he’s safe enough for me.
“Come here,” he rasps, lifting me just enough to line up his cock between my thighs. “Let me in, my angel.”
And I do. I lower myself, feeling the crown of his cock, taut, patient, glistening, slide into me with so much ease I know we were made for each other.
“Mmmm,” he moans, while a long sigh rolls off my tongue. It’s like I’ve come home, like I’m whole again. It never felt like this before.
I guess that’s something else that comes from being apart.
Distance doesn’t only make the heart grow fonder by giving you the space to forget all the crap. It makes the body… remember.
Every touch it missed, every breath it went without.
Distance doesn’t dull the ache; it keeps it alive.
My fingers curl into him as another breath leaves me, softer and steadier. Because it isn’t just desire I’m feeling—it’s relief.
I don’t have to miss him anymore, or live with this burning ache in my chest like I’m destined to live the rest of my life as an incomplete person.
I bring my lips down to his and feel his breath skate over them like a warm blanket. And I whisper one word that makes him wrap his arms around me, holding me tight to his chest.
“Stay.”