Chapter 16
ROSE
Ihave never cried like this before. Even at my most desperate. As Julius holds me tenderly in his arms, it unleashes a torrent of pain that I never realized I was holding. I lost my temper, and it exposed the caged memories I have tried so hard to lock away.
Years of abuse, built one brick at a time for my entire life, came crashing down. I thought I was strong. I always considered myself strong, but when he challenged my pain and dismissed it, every demon inside me broke free from their restraints to torment me all over again.
When he held me, it’s as if I broke open inside, and he fought them for me. He is a strong man for sure, an evil one probably, and yet he is a welcome port in a violent storm that I somehow feel protected by.
My sobs subside, leaving me embarrassed, and yet he holds me tightly, stroking my hair and whispering sweet words of comfort in my ear. It’s definitely what I needed because after the day we’ve had, I couldn’t take any more.
I pull back and sniff, “Forgive my outburst, Julius, it’s been a long day.”
I’m surprised when he wipes my tears away with his fingers and smiles.
“It’s good to cry, to let it all out.”
“Bullshit.”
I laugh at the shock on his face and giggle, “It takes me cussing to surprise you—who knew?”
“Angels don’t cuss, sweetheart.”
“I’m no angel, Julius; you are mistaking me for someone else.”
“What makes you say that?”
I yawn. “My life story can wait. I’ve had more than enough emotion for one day. If you don’t mind, I would like to grab some sleep now.”
“Your wish is my command.”
He jerks his thumb toward the bedroom.
“Go and sleep, and I’ll make a bed on the couch. We must leave in the morning.”
“Where are we going first?”
“Spain, Madrid to be exact, where we’ll take a flight to Denver, possibly Vegas. I haven’t decided yet.”
“Why Denver? I thought we were going to Washington.”
“All in good time, baby girl. First, we have to get there, and it’s more difficult to hit a moving target.”
“You mean we are still in danger?”
Anxiety gnaws at my misgivings about this entire test, and he shrugs. “Life is dangerous, baby; it’s how you learn to fight it that determines how long you survive.”
“That’s sad.”
He shrugs. “I state fact but luckily for you, I fight well if I have to. So, sleep easy knowing I’m out here keeping you safe.”
I make to speak, and he places his finger on my lips and shakes his head. “No more words. Go to bed, and if you’re a good girl, I’ll run you a bath in the morning.”
He winks, causing me to smile happily because, for some reason, he has the ability to make a bad situation a whole lot better.
As I turn away, I hate that he is about to cram his body onto the small couch because it hasn’t escaped my attention that his body is rather big and is made of muscles.
I’m still trembling at how good it was when he held me against him, and I doubt sleep will come easily to me tonight knowing he is mere yards away with just a wall separating us.
I’m not sure if I am strong enough to survive the test, and I’m equally certain I’m not strong enough to survive Julius Ravera.
Despite what happened last night, I slept well, and when I open my eyes as the first rays of light filter through the drapes, it takes a moment to remember where I am.
As realization hits me, I’m surprised at the smile on my face.
I shouldn’t be this happy under the circumstances, and I’m even more surprised to discover that I no longer wish I was waking up in the convent.
Julius is right; life is for living, and if I’m honest, I’ve thought that for some time now.
My mind drifts to my sisters and I wonder if they have started their journeys yet. I’m hoping theirs were easier than mine, and I’m worried for them.
I stretch out and then jump at the knock on the door, and I pull the cover up to my neck and say tentatively, “You can come in.”
My eyes feast on the sight of Julius standing in the doorway, his hair disheveled from sleep and his muscles straining against a dark t-shirt.
His arms are huge and decorated in black ink, and I shiver inside.
He has a skull on one arm with roses and a serpent slithering through the cavernous eyes and various symbols that appear intoxicating.
His dark hair is unruly, and there are shadows underneath his eyes, and unlike me, it appears he didn’t sleep well at all, and I am sorry about that.
“I brought you coffee.”
He yawns and sets the mug down on the table beside the bed, and I’m surprised when the bed dips as he perches on the edge of it.
“Thank you.”
He yawns again. “Did you sleep well?”
“I did, thank you.”
I peer at him with concern.
“I doubt you can say the same.”
“You’re right; it wasn’t the most comfortable couch I’ve ever slept on.”
As I take a sip of the hot drink, I push down my shyness and smile. “Have you slept on a lot of couches in your life?”
“Too many.”
He grins, and the devilish twinkle in his eyes slides through my body like a lit fuse.
“Are you hungry?”
He obviously doesn’t share my interest, so I bite back my disappointment.
“I am.”
“There’s not much to eat other than a few stale pastries, so if you like, I’ll run you a bath–” He grins and I squirm inside because this is pure torture. “Then we can get on the road and stop for breakfast along the way.”
“I’d like that.”
I clutch the mug, loving the warmth it gives me, and as Julius shifts off the bed, I sigh with disappointment. For some reason, he terrifies me, but I am also attracted to him, and for a girl who is mentally tapping on the convent exit, I don’t know what the hell to do about that.