Chapter 19
JULIUS
Inever realized this would be so hard. Why does doing the right thing feel like the wrong one?
It’s as if I kicked a puppy dog who only wanted to please me, but I’m in too deep already, and I reacted to that.
I wanted to kiss Rose so badly it physically hurt, and walking away was the only option before I made a fool of myself and terrified her.
Before I met her, I wasn’t bothered whether our plan worked or failed. We have enough money, and marriage to any woman wasn’t on my agenda just yet.
My brother Nico stunned the family when he brought his fiancée home for Christmas.
We never even realized he was dating, which was a blow to my father, who had already arranged a marriage between Nico and his friend’s daughter, Desiree Bendetti.
I kind of figured this was another one of my father’s schemes.
An arranged marriage for the convenience of the family and not a lot in it for me.
But then I met Rose, and everything changed, and I’m still figuring out what to do about that.
If anything, I wish I could phone Nico and ask for his advice in a roundabout way.
Brotherly love isn’t strong in our household, and I would be reluctant to voice my doubts.
However, I’m having them and I’m stuck in a situation I never signed up for, and what is terrifying me the most is losing Rose to our enemies, to her sisters and to that fucking convent.
The minute she walks away from me, it will be game over, and I am terrified I won’t be the same man she first met.
I am changing inside, and I don’t know what the hell to do about that, so distance must be the answer to allow me to rebuild the man I was.
Not this lovesick pussy who treads carefully around her.
Not this geek who can’t string a sentence together when she smiles in my direction.
I am the feared son of Giovanni and Sophia Ravera. The cruel bastard who delights in causing pain and misery to our enemies.
The cold shower does little to revive me, and even downing several shots of the complimentary bourbon does little to change anything.
I am screwed without actually being screwed, and I suppose that is half the problem.
I want Rose badly, physically and mentally, and yet for once I’m unable to act.
It’s not because of her, even. The old me wouldn’t give a shit and would have fucked her back in France, but the new pathetic creature I’ve become wants to make it good for her.
Wants her to come to me, and yet it’s painful to be the good guy for once in my life.
By the time I’ve showered and changed my clothes, I feel a little better. Perhaps distance is what I need to clear my head.
I head into the living area set between the two rooms and once again splash some bourbon into a glass.
I make use of my time by arranging two flights to Denver.
There is a flight that leaves around midday tomorrow, and I waste no time in booking two first-class seats.
I rarely travel commercial but this time we must blend in with the crowd, and part of me wonders if traveling first-class is the best way to do that.
However, it’s a long flight, and the fewer people around us, the better, and as soon as I have my confirmation, I place the call to Eddie.
“Hey, boss.”
“Hey. Any news?”
“As expected. When we landed, we had an unwelcoming committee on the road out of the airport.”
“I take it you were successful; otherwise, you wouldn’t be speaking to me now.”
I’m concerned because Francesco Carlos is a formidable enemy and isn’t one to tread carefully and would have set up an ambush.
Eddie chuckles.
“It took a call to the cops ahead of our journey to close the road and set up a detour.”
“What excuse did you give?”
“None. The chief of police owes me a favor, and his word is gold. Francesco was stuck on one side of the closed road, leaving us free to move around him, and there was nothing he could do about that.”
“So, what you are saying is we could have saved this road trip and would be safely at home right now.”
I inject annoyance into my tone where there really isn’t any. I’ve loved every minute of our trip so far, but Eddie doesn’t need to know that.
“We couldn’t guarantee it would work out. This way, Francesco believes you made it home and won’t be searching for you at every airport. Word is he’s pissed though and turned his attention to the next prize on the list.”
“Any news of them?”
I’m curious as to how my brothers are faring, but Eddie’s dull husky whisper gives nothing away.
“There is no communication allowed between operations. Your father’s orders are to protect any information from leaking to our enemies.”
I’m not surprised by that because my father works on the premise that the fewer people who know our business, the more chance it has of succeeding.
Eddie adds. “But no news is good news, I suppose.”
“You got that right.”
A movement in the corner alerts me that I’m no longer alone, and my mouth dries when Rose hesitates in the doorway, a vision of beauty.
I wave her in and say roughly, “You have our itinerary. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Eddie cuts the call, and I’m assured he will have all the arrangements in place when we land in Denver, and I smile as Rose says nervously, “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt your call.”
“There is no need to be sorry.”
It hasn’t escaped my attention that Rose is looking particularly stunning tonight. Her blonde hair has been washed and for once hangs long down her back. As always, her face is devoid of makeup, and she is wearing a black dress that hangs respectably below her knees.
“I hope this is okay. I picked it up at the store yesterday thinking it would be okay for any occasion.”
“You thought right. You look amazing.”
She blushes, and once again my heart reminds me it’s still in there, and with a sigh, I stand, deciding that cozy chats must wait before I do something I regret.
It strikes me how ridiculous this is because my job is to seduce Rose and marry her, making certain she’s pregnant with my child before her younger sister reaches twenty-five.
I was told that Rose is currently twenty-three years old, which gives us a lot of time, so the only urgency we have is that somebody doesn’t get there before me, or she decides to return to the convent.
She is the billion-dollar prize, and it will be a long few years unless I can get her to agree to becoming my wife—willingly. That is my main priority because forcing her into a situation she would be unhappy with isn’t sitting well with me.
With a deep inward sigh, I force a smile on my face and stand.
“Come. Let’s see what Madrid has for us.”
I hesitate before offering her my hand because self-torture isn’t something I’m used to.
Her small smile is different, and I notice the light doesn’t reach her eyes as usual, so I can’t help asking, “Is anything wrong?”
“Of course not.”
Her bright smile appears forced, and I’m instantly on alert.
“You don’t fool me, baby. What’s bothering you?”
“It’s nothing, really.”
She shakes her head and nods towards the door. “I’m worried about my sisters, but I must trust in the process, I suppose.”
She smiles shyly. “After all, they must be worrying about me, and I’m more than fine.”
“Are you?” I’m surprised at how happy that makes me.
“I am and, well, thank you, Julius. It’s a lot to ask of someone, and you have been so kind in agreeing to help with this test. It’s brought you a lot of grief, and I, well, I just want you to know that I appreciate that.”
I’m shocked when she stands on her toes and presses a light kiss to my cheek and then blushes furiously as she heads toward the door and once again, just like that, everything changes.