Epilogue
Tucker
Sebastian is nursing a hangover when he shows up at my house with Enzo, and I don't blame him. They won their game, but the general mood at the after-party was pretty low, and I watched Sebastian and his teammate—Westin Dumont, or Westy to the guys—put back beer after beer as Sebastian tried to talk Westy back from whatever dark place he’d gone to after injuring the Montreal captain.
One of the other guys took Westy home at the end of the night, and I put Sebastian to bed with a kiss and a promise to see him the next day.
Now here he is, looking a little worse for wear, but rallying to spend time with me before he heads out on another road trip with the team.
“Hey, Pup, I missed you,” I say, swooping Enzo up as he runs to me with a big smile and his arms raised.
“Dad took so long to get ready,” he whines as he hugs my neck. “He said we could come see you, but it took forever. Can we just live with you so we don't have to wait anymore? I want to see you every day and play with the dogs all the time.”
I smile, hugging this precious little boy a little tighter. He’s echoing my thoughts perfectly. I suppress a chuckle as Sebastian groans and widens his eyes comically.
“Enzo, buddy, we can’t invite ourselves to live at other people’s houses. That’s not polite.” He mouths I’m sorry to me.
“Actually, I think he has a point. Maybe we can talk about living here a little more if you want?” I bite my lip and look away, not sure if this is the right time to broach the subject, but Enzo gave me the perfect opening.
It makes me nervous to even ask if he’d want to live out here with me, knowing the big, beautiful house he has in a gorgeous neighborhood closer to the city that’s more fitting for his lifestyle than an out-of-the-way old farmhouse full of hand-me-downs in the woods with a bunch of dogs.
But I’ve spent years and my entire savings turning this place into the training center of my dreams to make Combat Companions happen, and I'm not giving that up.
“I think Lux could use some exercise. Want to throw the ball for her?” I ask as I put Enzo down and point at a ball on the deck.
He’s running to grab the ball before he answers. “Yeah! Lux, let’s play!”
The German Shepherd is bounding off the deck, ready for her favorite game with her favorite kid.
She’s grown quite attached to Enzo. I can see it in the way she watches him whenever he’s around, following and quickly responding to him with devotion.
It’s sweet and reminds me that dogs are truly some of the best friends we could have been given.
We’re so lucky to have them. It’s partly why I’ve decided to keep Lux.
She’s been good for me, and if she’s this good with Enzo, I think she deserves to be part of our family.
I turn back to find Sebastian walking toward me.
He doesn’t stop until his hands are knocking the baseball hat off my head so he can run his fingers through my hair, and his mouth is on mine.
I grip his hips and open against his lips, letting the smooth glide of his tongue welcome me home.
When he finally pulls back, he’s smiling.
“You’re damn right, I want to talk about it more.
I’d put you in my bones and wear you around if I could.
That’s how close I want to be to you at all times.
So, yeah, I fucking want to live with you, baby.
I love this place almost as much as I love you.
From the first day I visited, it’s felt more like home than any other place has.
I’m more comfortable and at peace when I’m here than anywhere. The best part is, it’s where you are.”
“It’s kind of out of the way,” I hedge, wanting to make sure he’s considering all the facts.
“Why does that matter? We’re close enough to Atlanta, and I can drive wherever I need to go. There are schools out here for Enzo, I’ve already checked. Besides, I think he prefers the company of your dogs to most of the kids in his class.”
“Won't your parents mind that you're farther away?” I’ve met Vincent and Cecilia a few times, and I got the impression that his mom would love it if Sebastian and Enzo lived with them again.
“Distance is good for us, trust me. And Enzo can have sleepovers with Nonnie and Papa whenever he wants to keep them happy.” He smiles crookedly at me.
“But I’ll let you in on a secret. If you let Ma into the kitchen once in a while and ask for her help with some cooking or for a recipe, she’ll become your best friend.
” He runs his hands down my back. “Now, stop trying to take it back and scare me off. You already brought it up, and I’m all in.
Why don't we take a walk down to the pond and enjoy the cooler weather together?”
I duck my head into his shoulder, laughing. He’s so good at making me feel wanted and dispelling my fears. I slide away, taking his hand and calling for Lux as we walk down the deck stairs. Enzo chases after the dog, heading toward the path to the pond.
“Mr. Tucker, look at this leaf I found! It looks like a heart,” Enzo says, handing me an autumnally orange leaf he’s picked up off the trail.
“That’s a redbud leaf,” I tell him. “I think it looks like a heart, too.”
“You can have it. You take good care of Daddy’s heart. I know you’ll take care of this one, too.”
I bite my lip and blink hard against the damn sucker punch this kid just pulled. I twirl the stem of the leaf and watch as he skips along the path after Lux, stopping to pick up rocks.
“Amazing how innocent he is, never knowing the weight of his words and how they make you feel, right?” Sebastian asks, squeezing my hand.
“Seriously. He makes me feel seen with something as little as a leaf.” I laugh.
Enzo comes running back and hands his dad another leaf. “Now you have matching heart leaves.” He tugs on our joined hands. “Mr. Tucker, you call me Pup, and I want a special name for you. Can I call you Daddy, too? That’s the most special name I can think of.”
Sebastian bends and scoops Enzo up, bringing him level with us as I fight to keep my composure.
My heart is racing, and my thoughts are all over the place.
I can't possibly answer that. It’s something Sebastian has to give him permission for, since Enzo is his kid, and Dad is his role.
I’m just a guy he’s known for a few months and let into his life, even as close as we are now.
I look helplessly at Sebastian, who smiles.
“I would love it if you called Tucker Daddy, also,” Sebastian says simply, pulling me in closer as the path opens out at the pond.
“He takes care of us like a good dad does, and he loves you so much, which is all I want. You have to behave and respect Tucker if you’re going to call him Daddy, though, so treat him like me, got it, bud? ”
Enzo nods, smiling. “I’m lucky to have two dads!” he shouts.
I burst into laughter as this absolute joy wiggles to be put down and runs to the dock. “I never thought I’d hear that about myself.”
Sebastian takes my hand again as we follow Enzo onto the dock and sit in the Adirondack chairs while he throws rocks from his pockets into the pond.
The sky is a crystalline blue, the air starting to get that crisp November chill that heralds true fall in the South, while the temperatures are just starting to cool off.
“Let’s make it happen,” Sebastian announces, squeezing my hand like that settles it.
“Make what happen?” I ask, looking around to see if I missed some vital part of the conversation.
“Give Enzo the two dads he wants. I’m ready. What about you?”
“What do you want to do?” I ask slowly, watching as Sebastian gets out of the chair to kneel between my legs, taking both of my hands. Fuck. Me. He can’t be doing what I think he is.
“I’m saying I want you to be mine, forever.
To be my husband. To be Enzo’s dad. I want to combine our last names in some weird hyphenate that will be way too long and amazing.
I want to sit on this dock while you fish in the summers, and listen to your hunting stories because that’s not for me, but I’m all about how manly it makes you anyway.
I want you to teach our boy all the things that will make him just as amazing and empathetic as you are, because there’s no one else I want him to be like when he grows up.
What I want more than a Stanley Cup win, more than a long hockey career, more than all the professional highs and records in the world, is for you to be my husband.
So what do you say? Tucker Covington, will you marry me? ”
I think my stomach has dropped so far down it’s somewhere in the region of my ass, and my heart is trying to crawl out through my throat with how fast it’s beating.
I couldn’t have expected this even if I tried.
I never imagined anyone saying these words to me.
I’ve never been good enough. Never thought I was worthy of that kind of love and commitment after so many people treated me like I was disposable.
Sebastian has always treated me far better than anyone else has, but it’s hard to get over a lifetime of rejection even when you’ve found something healthy.
I haven't quite reset my expectations to include what my future looked like, apparently, because here I am, freaking the fuck out now that it’s happening, and I had no clue it was even coming or that he could want it with me.
“Baby? Is-is this too much? Too fast? I knew I should have bought you a ring. You don't have to answer right now. I’ll do this better, I swear. I got excited and rushed ahead. I just wanted you to know how much I want you in our lives,” Sebastian stammers, his voice shaking as much as his hands as he races to explain in my prolonged silence.