23. Garrett
CHAPTER 23
Garrett
The house was quiet, but my mind was not.
Owen had texted earlier in the afternoon to let me know he’d be at my parents’ place. They’d offered to bring him home later, so I didn’t have to worry about picking him up. That had freed up my evening, so when Harper had texted to see if I wanted to get together, it had been an easy yes. I’d invited her to my place so we could decide what we wanted to do from there.
I should have been thinking about where to take her, but I was stuck in an endless loop. Frustration ate at me. I’d never had disciplinary issues at work. I took my job, and the ethics required to do it well, very seriously. I didn’t use my position to harass or bully people. I strove to treat people with respect, no matter who they were.
Maybe it was just bad timing. A coincidence. Matt had a personal issue, but it wasn’t actually related to my job. He was just trying to get me in trouble. His call happened to come on the heels of a guy who would have complained about any deputy who’d talked to him that day. And the anonymous complaint was obviously bogus.
But why? Why had someone called in with a fabricated complaint about me? It wasn’t just that it was anonymous, it hadn’t happened. The caller had said I’d pulled him over, made him exit his vehicle, and frisked him without cause. But I couldn’t recall a recent traffic stop that followed that scenario.
My gut was telling me something was wrong, but I couldn’t put the pieces together. Did the pieces even fit? Was there an explanation that tied the complaints together? Or was I starting to tread into conspiracy theory weeds.
Maybe I was just being paranoid.
I went to a cupboard in the kitchen and took out a bottle of bourbon. I didn’t drink very often, but I wanted something to take the edge off. Especially because Harper was on her way. I didn’t want to be so wound up.
Although maybe what I needed was her.
I poured two fingers into a glass and took a sip. It slid down my throat, warming me from the inside. I couldn’t deny that just the thought of Harper coming over was already calming me down. There was a tug of desire, sure, but even more than that, the anticipation of relief. As if the moment she walked in the door—as soon as I touched her—the tension would melt from my shoulders and back.
She had that effect on me.
I was moving too fast with her. I couldn’t deny that, either. And not just because we’d been sleeping together. The physical connection was only a part of it. I craved her. And instead of trying to maintain control, I was giving in.
It wasn’t responsible. I had a son to think about. Sure, he liked Harper, but that didn’t mean he was ready for me to bring someone into our lives. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that.
Would she be interested in something long term? Or was this just a temporary stop for her. Could she see herself with a man with a son—a teenager who still had a lot of growing up to do ?
The problem was, I didn’t know. And I didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on her.
I pinched the bridge of my nose against the beginnings of a headache. I had trust issues. I knew that about myself. Harper hadn’t done anything to make me doubt her. But trust didn’t come easy, and I was letting this get out ahead of me before I could be sure it was right.
It was possible I was careening headlong toward a cliff and I was going to go down. Hard.
The sound of a car in my driveway got my attention. It stirred something in my chest, sent a pulse of anticipation through me. She was here, and I absolutely ached to touch her.
I was in so much trouble.
A moment later, there was a knock on the door. I tossed back the rest of the bourbon and went to answer it.
She stood on my doorstep, wearing a pink dress with a beige cardigan. Her long hair was down in soft waves around her shoulders and her lips looked so kissable, I almost devoured her right there.
But I didn’t. I held back.
“Hi.” She tucked her hair behind her ear.
“Hey.” I stepped aside so she could come in and shut the door behind her. Although I could sense the cliff looming, I couldn’t resist her. I slipped my hands around her waist and brought her in for a kiss.
The feel of her lips against mine was almost too good. The knots in my back loosened and the blissful relief of an addict getting a hit poured through me. I’d missed her.
Too much.
She pulled away and rested her hands on my chest. “It’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you, too.”
“I know we don’t really have plans tonight, but I thought maybe we could… um… I don’t know… Just hang out? ”
“Honestly, after the last couple of days, that sounds great. Do you want a drink or anything?”
“I’m fine for now. But what happened? Did you have a bad day?”
I thought about pouring myself another bourbon, but she was taking the edge off more than a drink would. I took her hand and led her to the living room so we could get comfortable.
“Today wasn’t terrible, but yesterday, not so much.”
“I’m sorry. What happened?”
I sat on the couch and drew her in next to me. She smelled like vanilla and sugar and her body was soft and warm.
“It’s kind of a long story, but I’m sort of in trouble at work.”
“For what?”
“There have been several complaints lodged about me. One was anonymous and it’s clearly bullshit. Another one I’m not sure about. Seems like a guy who’s disgruntled over something. He claims I harassed him, but I don’t know what he’s talking about. The third was that guy, Matt. He says I threatened him that day at the bakery when he was creeping you out.”
“What? You didn’t threaten him.”
“I know I didn’t. And Jack probably would have just asked me to explain the situation and that would have been that. Except it was one of three. Now he has concerns. He’s worried it’s a pattern.”
“But if none of them are actual problems, it’s just coincidence right? Maybe even…” She paused. “Maybe bad luck?”
“It could be.”
“Bad things often happen in threes. Except…”
“Except what?”
“Nothing. Three makes sense. You had three complaints, so maybe that’s it. ”
“I hope that’s it.” I took a deep breath, relishing her scent, and rested my cheek against her head. “I’ve had enough.”
She didn’t reply and there was a stiffness to her body that caught my attention. I’d been so focused on myself and my day, I hadn’t noticed it at first. But when I thought about it, she seemed a little off. There’d been something in her expression when I’d first opened the door. And when I’d kissed her, she’d felt as if she were holding back, not sinking into it the way she usually did.
“Is everything okay?” I tucked her in closer and caressed her arm. “How was your day?”
“It was… interesting.”
“Interesting? What does that mean?” A hint of alarm made my shoulders tighten. “Did Matt come back? Did he do something?”
“No, nothing like that. I ran into Marigold and Audrey at lunch.”
“Oh. That’s… nice?”
“Yeah, it was.”
“Have you met Audrey before?”
“No, but I basically wanted to be her best friend after knowing her for about ten seconds.”
“Sounds about right. Most people like her. She and Josiah are such a contrast, it’s almost funny.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Josiah’s a good guy, but he’s like our dad. Doesn’t exactly show his feelings. And Audrey’s, you know, Audrey.”
“She was really sweet. So is Marigold. You must have such a great family.”
Her voice broke a little on the last word, and I shifted so I could see her face. “Hey. What’s wrong?”
Sniffling, she shook her head. “Nothing.”
“Are you sure?”
“No. ”
“Then what is it? I can’t help you fix it if you don’t tell me.”
“I don’t think this is the kind of thing that can be fixed.”
“What are you talking about? Harper, just tell me what’s wrong.”
Her eyes lifted to meet mine and they brimmed with tears. My chest tightened with panic. Who’d hurt her? What had they done? I’d—
“I’m pregnant.”
I froze, my eyes wide, mouth slightly open. Had I heard her correctly? Had she just said—
“You’re what?”
“Pregnant. I took a test. It was very clear.”
My mind reeled. It was like waking up from a nap to find you’re not in your bed, but at the high point of a roller coaster and the car just started down the track, leaving your stomach behind.
I couldn’t seem to remember how to use words. I got up, as if moving would help, and walked a few steps, then turned around. “You’re sure?”
She nodded. The tears hadn’t fallen yet and she bit her lip like she was trying to hold them back. “I took a couple more tests just to be sure. And by a couple, I mean eight.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to get my head together. Harper was pregnant. It was mine. I’d let my animal instincts have their way, taken her up against a wall, and gotten her fucking pregnant.
“Please don’t ask,” she whispered.
“Ask what?”
“If it’s yours.”
“What? No. I know it’s mine. I just wasn’t expecting this.”
“Neither was I.”
I was screwing this up. I could feel it happening as she watched me process what she’d said. She wanted me to hold her. Gather her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay.
But was it?
This wasn’t like me. None of it was. I didn’t take sex lightly; I never had. I didn’t sleep with a woman right away. I was careful. I wasn’t spontaneous. I was organized, responsible, accountable.
Until I wasn’t.
She stood and smoothed down her dress. “I think maybe I should leave you alone so you can get your head around this. I know it’s a lot. I’ve been freaking out for half the day.”
“Harper.”
“No, it’s okay. I don’t blame you. You didn’t want this. You didn’t want a relationship at all. I remember.”
“I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes, you did.” She walked toward the front door, but stopped and looked over her shoulder. “By the way, Owen knows. He came to the bakery after school and saw the box of tests. I told him the truth. I had to.”
It was like being hit in the gut when I was already out of breath. “Owen knows?”
“Yeah. So do Audrey and Marigold. They were with me when I took the first test. But they won’t tell anyone yet.”
I blew out a breath. “You don’t have to leave.”
“I think I should. I think you need some time.”
I did, although I didn’t want her to walk away. But I couldn’t seem to make myself do anything about it. All I had to do was walk over there and grab her. Wrap my arms around her and tell her not to go.
Instead, I stood frozen to the spot, shocked into immovability.
“Take your time.” Her voice was soft. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
And with that, she left.