Alex
I don’t want this drive to end. I have half a mind to order the driver to circle Manhattan until Hailee wakes up.
I can feel her soft breathing on my skin through the thin fabric of my dress shirt. She’s such a fragile little thing like this. Sleeping on me in the middle of the day as the thunder rumbles in the distance. I had to resist waking her up. I thought something was wrong at first. I don’t know anyone who can fall asleep in one minute flat.
I chalk it up to the scare she had and the fact that she’s probably sleeping poorly in that mausoleum I call a mansion. It’s a beautiful but lonely place, and I vastly prefer the penthouse.
Hailee stirs in her sleep a little. She gives a soft hiccup like a goddamn puppy and nestles into me. Dear God, what have I done to be given a girl this sweet?
She’s sexy when she wants to be, yet delicate enough to make my heart ache.
When we get to the mansion, I slide Hailee off me gently, not wanting to wake her. Then I leave the car before bending back and gathering her into my arms. I heft her up, and Cooper gets the front door for us.
I carry her inside, all the way down the long hall to the back den. I set her on the couch, prop her head under a pillow, and cover her up to her neck with a fur blanket. I don’t call on my staff to have a fire made.
I don’t want anyone taking care of Hailee but me.
I go to the fireplace and build a fire. I have it large and crackling in no time. I turn down the lights so the only source of light is the flames in the hearth.
This place stays cool with the air conditioning cranked up, and I’m feeling a chill in my wet shirt. I take it off and hang it on a hook on the mantle where children once hung their stockings.
Hailee’s not dry, but I’m not about to take her clothes off. If she’s comfortable enough to sleep, I should let her be.
I fetch a clean white dress shirt upstairs and then return to sit on the opposite couch from Hailee. She hasn’t moved at all. Her mouth is ever so parted, and her light breath escapes with the slightest whistle.
I roll up my sleeves and start to do some work before I’m too distracted to continue. My eyes keep darting to the left, watching Hailee as she sleeps.
It’s an hour before she stirs and stretches her arms above her head, carefree and forgetful of where she is. She leans up on her arms and looks at me quizzically.
“Shit. Did I fall asleep?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I figured you were in a little shock.”
Hailee hesitates for a moment. “It’s not that, actually…” She licks her lips. “I have slight narcolepsy. Nothing serious, but easy to nod off.”
“Oh. Is that it?”
“Yeah.” She looks down, embarrassed.
“How are you feeling otherwise?”
“My ankle.” She grimaces and gasps a little. “It’s stiff.”
“It hurts?” I get to my feet and go to the end of the couch. I pull the blanket back to reveal her left foot. It’s swollen around the ball of her ankle.
“Yeah. I think maybe I rolled it when I was running. I don’t remember. I was just…”
“I’ll get a heating pad and some ice.”
“Could you get me a dry set of clothes, too?”
“Of course,” I say and head out of the room. I wasn’t aware I’d be content being her nurse, but I don’t want anyone else touching her.
I go to the second floor for aspirin and a heating pad, and I grab a pair of sweatpants and a shirt from the dresser in her room. I find a soft icepack in the kitchen’s freezer and head back to the den.
When I get back, Hailee is sitting up on the couch. I set the clothes on the coffee table.
“Here,” I say and shake three aspirin into my palm. “I’ll get some water.”
“Those are small enough.” She holds her hand out, and after I slide them to her, she plops them into her mouth and swallows. “It’s my party trick.”
“Pills without water?”
“Up to a certain size.”
I smile. Was that an innuendo from Hailee?
She slides so her feet are on the floor.
“I’ll give you some space to change,” I say.
“Thanks. I promise not to break a lamp this time.”
I walk to the window and watch the rain fall in the street until her sigh tells me she’s done. I head back to the couch and move the blanket off her legs. “We’ll start with ice. Are you ready?”
She nods and quickly hisses as I set the pack on top of her ankle.
I hold it there gently, crouched by the side of the couch. It’s only four but dark as evening with the cloud cover the storm has brought in.
The fire crackles and makes the silence between us not awkward but, dare I say, intimate.
I’m not going to leave her side. It’s my fault this girl was chased across the streets. Treated like an animal. If she weren’t standing behind me when I hit that fucking parasite, I would’ve left him far more bloodied.
I still could. I hope he files assault charges so I learn his full name without busying my security team with hunting him down. But she’s here now. Safe. I try to let my anger go.
I rub Hailee’s leg with my free hand, and she tilts her head back sleepily. I run my hand up from her ankle almost to the top of her thigh. I stop at her knee and move my thumb in a gentle but firm circle. Before I know it, I’m giving her a massage.
It’s the least I can do after putting her through this shit storm. I caress her calves and thighs. I even lift her uninjured foot and press my thumbs into the sole. I’ve never touched a woman like this.
I’ve never had the urge to heal or nurture any of the models or actresses I’ve taken to bed. They were in the game with me, so to speak. Ambitious. Sometimes even ruthless. They were pretty, but they all had stingers.
Hailee is different. How she ended up in my world, I don’t know. But I want to protect her from it.
I take the ice off after ten minutes and switch to the heating pad. I’m able to wrap it around her leg so it doesn’t need to be held, but I wouldn’t mind staying by her side.
I stand up. “Would you want to watch something?”
Hailee looks around the room. She’s confused, I imagine, because she doesn’t see a TV. “I don’t really want to move.”
I pick a remote up off the mantle, and with the click of a button, the dark wood panel over the mantle slides into the wall, revealing a flatscreen.
“Impressive,” she says.
“One of the old financiers who owned this place put it in. I don’t much care for it.”
“Do you have any streaming services, or is Blackwell a DVD guy?”
“The staff are in charge of that, but yes. I do have guests who stay here.”
“We should watch a movie. It’s your last night here, right?”
“Right,” I say and open my mouth, ready to excuse myself and leave, but Hailee’s expression is so hopeful, brow raised, lips curled in a smile, that I don’t shoot her down. “Okay.” I hand her the remote. “But I’m not picking.”
“I wouldn’t let you. I don’t want to watch Gordon Gecko take over Wall Street.”
“I don’t care for films about wealth.”
“So what do you like? Rambo ? Rocky ?”
I look over at her. “Yes, actually.”
“Oh my God. You do have a guilty pleasure. Eighties action movies. I should’ve guessed.”
“I’ve said too much.”
“Why do you like them? Because you’re bloodthirsty?” Hailee teases.
“Something like that.”
“You know , you’re very American.”
“Good to know. Before we begin, what do you want Pierre to make for dinner? It’s your choice.”
“It’s your last night here.”
“The food is fine in Switzerland.”
Hailee is quiet as she thinks for a moment. “Can he make a paella?”
“The best I’ve had outside of Valencia. Seafood?”
“Yes, please.”
“Alright.” I take the couch opposite and pull out my phone and text the request to Pierre. Hailee puts on some flick with Jennifer Garner or Sandra Bullock. One of those brunettes who blend together to me.
I watch most of it, unbelievably. Hailee gives me side-eye whenever I’m on my phone checking emails for too long.
Closer to seven, Pierre comes in with a steaming skillet of paella and two plates. He sets it on a trivet on the coffee table, and the two of us eat across from each other. We elect to have seconds while Hailee puts on another movie.
I crack a bottle of wine and fill two large glasses almost to the brim. The rain hasn’t stopped, and I keep the fire well fed with oak logs. I’m warm and full and actually enjoying this lazy afternoon.
I would normally detest this kind of idleness, but doing it with Hailee is different.
A ways into the second movie, a clap of thunder cracks close, striking some lightning rod nearby. Hailee jumps and puts her hand over her heart. There’s fear in her eyes, deeper than just being surprised. Clearly the boom reminded her of the gunfire.
I watch her take a couple deep breaths to steady herself. “It’s alright, rabbit,” I say and come over to her couch. The cushions are wide. There’s plenty of room for the both of us.
I don’t even think as I lie next to her and pull her close to my chest. It feels far better than us lounging on separate couches.
I rest my chin on the top of her head and inhale the strawberry scent of her shampoo. With every breath, my heart twitches. Her warm body curled up against mine is a high I haven’t ever experienced. She’s here. She’s safe.
She’s mine.
If I so choose, that is. Tomorrow I’m in Switzerland as the first dominos in the investigation start to fall. The trial will be in no time.
I shouldn’t be lying here right now. I should be going over every painstaking detail until I’m sure I have it perfect, but I can’t pull myself from this. From her.
I want to take this girl. I watch her chest rise and fall. Her pulse and breathing have both quickened. She’s nervous to be so close to me, and I let my fingers wander on her skin. I caress her side, her ribs, her neck. She tenses under my touch at first, but only ever so briefly before she begins to relax.
I want to consume her every little skittish breath. To put my mouth on hers and taste the hot air coming from her lips. I want to somehow be even closer to her than I am now.
I want all of her.
She lets out a little moan, and it’s building a charge under my skin. I want to fist her hair. Stick my tongue down her throat. I want Hailee to be mine and mine alone.
I’m thinking of being across the Atlantic from her. I think of the men who’ve had her on their chests like this before, and it reddens my vision. I’d skin them all alive just to have the pleasure of being with this woman all to myself. Even if she were mine and mine alone, I wouldn’t want anyone to share so much as a memory of her.
Her breath. Her body. Her sleepy, big brown eyes.
At some point, the movie goes quiet. The credits start to roll quietly, and it’s a reminder of reality. This is not my life.
This has gone on long enough.
I’m just teasing her and myself. Breaking my own rules. The fire has burned down to embers, the credits end, and there is no sound. Not of traffic or the storm.
This is the end of my time with Hailee Barnes. By the time I get back from Europe, things will have settled down and she’ll be back at her apartment. Back at a new job. I might only ever see her if she tags along with Lucas to a Christmas party.
My insides feel hollow. The idea of this being the last time I’m with Hailee is a gut punch. It’s something I haven’t felt since the business failures of my early twenties.
What’s the point of my work? I’ll conquer another contract. Hope for the fall of the Fords. It doesn’t bring me the kind of ambitious excitement it used to.
I’m longing for this woman.
Again, I’m not convinced this affection is more than my brain trying to distract myself from the stress of being at the goal line.
No. Enough. I’m intoxicated by this girl. I have been in one way or another since she and Lucas shared a cab and I caught a glimpse of her smile through the open passenger door. I remember that.
I don’t have the most selective memory when it comes to my past. I’ll remember business dealings and the names I need to. But something as trivial as a glance of a girl’s face for a fraction of a second four years ago…
I have always liked her.
“I might do one more,” Hailee says, reaching for the remote. “I know you probably have work to do or packing, but I really appreciate you taking care of me this evening.”
There’s hurt in her tone. She doesn’t want this to end, either. But she knows even less about why it must. Why we can’t be together.
“I’m just glad you’re feeling better,” I say, and we both shift so we’re sitting upright with our feet on the floor. “Maybe don’t tell your brother about today.”
She pats my chest, and I wonder if she can tell how much faster my heart is beating.
“Don’t worry. The last thing I want is him panicking about the paparazzi, too.”
“If I don’t see you in the morning, take care of yourself. Just listen to security. Their demands may seem like a lot, but they know what’s best.” I was able to hire Clyde full-time. He and a couple other floaters should be plenty to keep her safe. Still, I hate the idea of her alone.
“I will.”
Our eyes meet, exchanging all the want and lust that is left unspoken. It leaves a charge in the air. An electricity so strong, I expect to see her hair standing on end. I can leave, but not without leaving her with something real.
I bend over to her and put my mouth on hers for a gentle kiss. No cameras. No pageantry.
No purpose but to let this woman know I care about her. And in another life… maybe.
I hold her little top lip between mine and pull away before I have to fight a greater urge to take her.
“Goodnight, Hailee,” I say, suffocating her pet name.
Not now. Not tonight.
“Goodnight, .” Her eyes leave mine first with a sadness in them, and I walk out of the room before I’m afraid I’ll stay forever.
If fate brings us together again, so be it, but it will be when my business is concluded. I want to think this is the right thing to do, so why does walking away feel like someone has taken a razor blade to my fucking soul?