Chapter 11
Anita
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I ’m frozen in place , standing over Ronan as I look over his body, pain evident in my expression.
I knew Victor had inflicted wounds from when he was tortured, but I didn’t think it was...
I didn’t think there were so many, it’s as if Victor took his chest and used it in a sick game of tic-tac-toe. Like he was enjoying the torture so much that he dug too deep on some more of his chest. There’s not one spot that’s free of a laceration.
Emotion builds and burns at the brink of my eyes—I can’t imagine how much they’ve suffered. I can only imagine how Carter’s body looked afterward. My father saved me from that horrible reality. He didn’t want my last memory of him deformed and brutally murdered. My brother and Ronan were innocent, and they suffered at the hands of vile men who found pleasure in their pain. They only wanted to bring safety to the world. And this is what they got in return.
The world can be so cruel. Because now look at what he’s become. The monster no one wishes to dream of.
My throat tightens, and it’s taking every ounce of energy to not cradle myself and...cry. I could never do that. I haven't shed a tear in years, but this hurts. The memory of me reaching my hand into his suit to touch him replays in my mind.
This is the reason.
He was protecting himself, his trauma that he may be ashamed of. The burn behind my eyes turns into a strain and my eyelids fill with tears. I kneel at his level, lowering my head, and I press a kiss to the first mark I see, below his firm pec. His skin is so pleasant on my lips, so smooth. A shallow breath escapes me as I apply another one and another. Then, I lick it gently and place another soft peck onto his skin—the truest words play through my mind.
Your scars are beautiful.
It doesn’t last long because a deadly hand snatches my throat along with a chunk of my hair. I yelp. I’m twisted and folded until I’m flush underneath Ronan’s hard, naked body.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he flares in a thick accent.
I'm met with dark eyes, cutting into me like razors, as if he wants to crush me and fuck me at the same time. I hope it's the latter. He doesn't remove his grip from my neck, and I moan sensually as a tear slips down to my cheek. The grasp only provokes my desire, causing my cunt to dampen. It seems to entice him, too, as his cock comes to life.
“You don’t need to hide your scars from me,” I crack, staring at him. I slide my pointer down his chest to his pelvic bone, where the old inflictions end. Then I place my palm flat on the bumps and ridges.
His muscles clench solid and his eyes close. He pants. “Stop.”
I slide my palm farther up, taking in every groove and tight muscle on his body. “Why?” I continue, my muscles shaking. If he wasn’t choking me, I would kiss the wounds again.
The spot where he was lying before is warm and cozy. He pushes my head deeper into his pillow, and I arch my back. Another tear slips. I reach the area on the left of his chest that has the most slices. Every movement his cock jumps with flexes to his belly. His hot breath shudders across my mouth, and he searches over my face at the new discovery of myself.
I’m crying.
His hand loosens on my neck slightly with softened, chaotic eyes. “Little snake,” he says in a hollow whisper. Leaning forward, he drags his tongue up my temple, swiping the salty drip trailing down my cheek—tears that haven't been shed since becoming an assassin.
I close my eyes as another runs down, then another, but he catches them again with a delicate touch of his mouth. His wet lips lightly graze over my cheek, then he says, “Why do you cry?”
My lips quiver as I force the other tears to stay where they are. I think of everything that led to the point of them being kidnapped. “Because of your pain.”
His breath scatters as he motions his length on me again. My lips part with the movement.
“I’m sorry,” I say, envisioning them tied to that chair, weak and afraid. “You didn’t deserve it. Neither of you did.”
When I open my eyes, water pools at the rim, and everything becomes blurry. Showing your emotion is a weakness—you hold it in until you feel nothing but emptiness—but I don’t feel that. I feel everything. Everything that I shouldn’t.
“And it's not your fault.” I told him this before, and I’ll say it again and again, so he removes that blame that leaves a heavy weight on your shoulder. “I don't hate you—anymore.” I move my hand under his scars.
A soft, ragged huff brushes across my cheek, and he rocks again. “Do you forgive me?”
I suck in a low breath. “For what?” I tip my face to his mouth as I savor the hold he has, rocking my hip innocently so my pussy can press on his dick.
He hesitates for a second. “For being a coward. For not going to his funeral and being there for you...For being too weak to face your family.”
My throat becomes scratchy, and I fold in my lips to control the rush of liquid behind my eyes. Memories of me at sixteen years old flash in my mind, towering over my brother's closed casket, crying and wishing that some piece of Carter was there with me. That he was there. I needed him—selfishly. I hated him for it, but I never thought of the pain that it caused him, too. How he was only protecting his peace and his heart. I can’t fault him for wanting to not see his best friend gone after watching him suffer.
Hating him took so much energy, and I can't be like my father when it comes to that anymore.
I swallow down the aggressive pressure, but I’m choking on my own silent sobs. I nod as old, hot resentment streams slowly from my eyes as if it's finally relieving itself from me. I thread my fingers through his ruffled hair.
“I forgive you.”
Years of hate lifts from my own invisible wounds. I forgive you .
His body semi-relaxes before he pulls away, and I look up to find him watching me with hazy, glossy eyes, his lips part slightly, and his cock presses angrily against me. “I’m sorry,” he finally says.
I can’t hold anything back, and my chest caves in as hot tears leak down my cheeks and stain the sheets. It's the words I never knew I needed to hear—as if he’s speaking for himself and my brother. As if he’s telling me he wishes he could've watched me grow, watched me change into a woman more than what my father bestowed on me. Sorry for how fucked up our lives have turned out to be.
I’m sorry.
I want to feel like a fool for being so emotional, but the body can’t hide your true feelings—regardless of what you do. And I feel safe for once to do that with him.
A shaky breath escapes me, and I lift my chin, meeting me halfway. He closes the gap, crushing our lips together. I smooth my hand over his chest and lift my hand to touch the scars on his face. I explore his lacerations, and as I do, he winces. I pull away to look at him, wrapping my legs around his waist. “Don't hide them.”
Ronan's lips pinch together, like he's aggravated with my response. He takes my wrist, removing me from his touch, and locks them above my hand. “You shouldn't want me after seeing this,” he says. “You should be disgusted by it.”
I shake my head. “Never.” I whimper in delight when his thick cock jerks again. “You may see yourself as the ugly beast in your story, but in mine, you’re beautiful,” I say, looking into his eyes. “You’re beautiful,” I whisper again as my chest rises and falls.
The destruction behind his lids vanishes, carnal lust replacing it. They narrow in, and I feel his cock become firmer, pressing eagerly against me. My night shorts block the invitation, but I receive all of him.
“How could you see something that I don’t?” he asks in Portuguese, nearing his mouth an inch from mine.
I flick my tongue over the mark on his lip. “Maybe it's time you open your eyes and see it as a strength, not a weakness.”
My mouth connects with his, and I melt in a deep sigh. We watch each other as I kiss his lips again with a tenderness that makes me question who I am. I’m questioning a lot about myself tonight.
His breathing picks up, and he rocks his cock against me, pushing against me so hard that an electric sensation shoots from my clit to my belly. Within a second, his lips crash into mine, his teeth catching my lips and pulling slightly.
My pulse picks up, hammering against my bones. I moan in his mouth. “I need you to fuck me. I can’t wait another second. Please, Ronan.”
Normally, foreplay would be on my mind, but for once, it’s not present; the only thing I can think of is him finally inside of me—where he belongs. Like we’re pressed for time, our breathing picks up harsh and heavy. I hook my thumbs around my shorts at the same time as he does. I lift my hips slightly as we both yank them down, and he flings it across the room.
He grunts, going for my bralette. My body jerks from his force, and it only sparks more desire in me. I lift my arms in a rush, and he yanks it over my head, throwing them away too, the fabric skirting across the floor. Not waiting any longer, I spin around on my stomach and stick my ass up, enticing him. We’re both impatient to have each other, like we can read each other's energy, the desperation so intense, foreplay is an afterthought.
Using his knees, he parts my legs and adjusts his weight above me. Grasping his shaft, he positions the head of his smooth cock at the entrance of my pussy. “I want to take you like this, amor. I need you to feel every piece of my poison, and I need your sweet pussy dripping around my cock. Can I have you like this? Please?”
I tremble from his filthy words and the way he's begging me. I raise onto my elbows and clench the pillows. “Yes, like this.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod. “I can’t get pregnant.” I don't elaborate too much on it, but I feel Ronan hesitate for a second before the tip brushes my opening, tantalizing the area. He shifts again, and I can feel his breath at the nape of my neck. “I can finally have you after so long.” Then he pushes forward, slipping past my barrier, and destroying the wall I’ve built.
A cry, mixed with a sharp gasp, escapes me. I didn't get to get a look at it, but from the way he stretches me paired with the tiny sting tells me all I need to know. He bottoms out, hitting so deep no other man has ever touched me there; my mouth spreads wide as my eyes snap shut. “Oh, yes!”
A thick, throaty groan comes from Ronan, and he presses his forehead to the back of my head, digging his palms into the sheets.
With another delicious shove, he begins to fuck me with a smooth roll of his hips. It's not slow. It's not fast; it's the perfect rotation. My wetness soaks his length, his thrusts gliding in and out with ease. With every plunge, a burst of euphoric sensations stings my nerves, and goosebumps prick on my skin. It's forcing a vulnerability from my chest that I whimper out with a choking sob. “You feel so fucking good.”
He growls deeply, pressing his mouth to my hair. I raise my ass higher and the adjustment deepens his stroke. He lowers to my neck before biting down painfully. I wince with a soft moan as the sting from his bite shoots through my veins.
A low, sexy snarl rumbles in my ear as the hair from his beard scratches against my shoulder.
“Do you love how my cock feels, little snake?” He pulls away slowly, then thrusts again as his teeth clamp harder into my shoulder.
I whine, pushing back. “Yes.”
“Is it worthy enough for you?” He thrust again, the impact causing our hot skin to slap together. Another thrust, another bite.
“Oh, yes!” Flutters break free throughout my body.
“Do you want me to go faster?”
I shake my head. “No.” I need it slow and torturous. It needs to tingle down to my toes, and the way he fucks me sends pretty sparkles around my eyes in a way I’ve never experienced before. He keeps the delicious pace, rolling his muscular hips into me to give me every inch of him. The motion allows his cock to curve in me, hitting multiple spots near my G-spot. My eyes roll to the back of my head as I clench the sheets.
“I’m going to come.” So fucking soon, but I don't care. I need it.
He shudders above me with a shaky moan. “Yes, come all over my cock, my beautiful snake.” He propels again, dangerously slow, torturing my shoulder with his inflictions and sweet kisses.
“My bad girl.” One more bite and my pussy clenches around his soaked cock, my heartbeat quickening.
“Yes! Oh, God!”
I surprised myself by saying His name; I've never said it before, but the feeling of Ronan inside of me is so much. So fucking good. I want to shout to the rooftops. I get every last inch of him, the raw thrust of his bare cock. His thickness and how he stretches me out—it’s so perfect. I melt away as my brows lift in ecstasy, and I sigh in relief. It’s as if I’ve had my first taste of true pleasure. I’ve never had anything like it.
Ronan takes a chunk of my hair and wraps it brutally around his wrist, yanking my head back. The motion stretches my neck, causing my chest to lift from the covers. It’s so uncomfortable that I can’t even swallow properly. His mouth meets my ears with a harsh, shuddering groan.
“Say another man’s name again. I dare you,” he warns, propelling deeper inside of me without moving his hips back.
More exquisite moans pour from me at his threat, like I’m singing a harmony. My eyes roll back.
“I—” My statement’s cut short when he begins moving his hips and starts thrusting. Each slide out vibrates a tingle through every inch of my spine, snaking down to my toes. When he jerks forward, his hips slap my ass with a skin-to-skin smack, and the tip of his cock taps on my a-spot, causing me to gush even more.
“Fuck!” I cry, clawing my nails into the sheets to hold myself together because with every delicious slam he gives me, I’m hit with more pleasure than I can handle.
“Say my name,” he growls deeply in my ear.
Electric elation courses through me, and my clit continues to swell, my heart beating faster. Am I going to orgasm without stimulation?
I think about being a good girl and saying Ronan’s name—but I don’t.
“God,” I moan purposely, a devious smirk on my lips.
“Fucking with me won’t be good for you.”
“Maybe not.” I pant. “What are you going to do about it?” I push back into him, forcing another moan from my lips.
He chuckles darkly. “I’m going to fuck you so hard until you learn to only scream my name.”
I bite my lip, twisting my head enough to look at him. “You think no one has ever fucked me hard before?”
He narrows his gaze on me. “Have I ever fucked like that?”
A cold chill races up my back. He spreads my thighs wider than before and dips my lower back with his hand. My ass tilts higher in the air, my pussy on full display. “I should fuck you in the ass for that, but I’ll save that for home. For now, I only want to see that pretty little face crying for me again while I ruin you.”
“I don’t cry during sex.”
He places his right hand above me, resting it on the iron headboard, then grips my nape in a death hold. The side of my face smashes into the pillow and the only sight I get is Ronan’s dark, large figure hovering above me, like he's ready to snatch every part of my dignity away.
“There's always a first time for everything, remember?” He finds my entrance again and slides inside with a guttural groan. His hips roll into me as he tightens the hold on my neck as though I'll try to escape.
My breath comes out jagged, but I’m aroused, anticipating the next move. Something about him trapping me so I can’t move an inch is making my cunt ache with desire.
“Can you handle it, little snake?” he taunts, grinding achingly slow, lowering his lips to my cheek and applying tiny kisses. He’s so hot and cold. First, he’s cruel to my body, then he’s kind.
I bite down on my lip from the coaxing he's doing to me. “I’m a big girl,” I muffle with a grin curling up the side of my face.
He chuckles sinisterly. “I love your confidence. As usual.”
Lifting me, he positions himself, then proceeds to fuck me hard as promised, holding his heavy weight above me with his hand and clutching that bar. My back shatters with each plunge, every thrust hitting a spot that feels so damn good. I moan and moan from the massacre he’s delivering to me. My nails dig into the sheets as I attempt to catch my breath, but he's merciless, brutal with his order that I swear my body will split in half. A rippling explosive ignites in my belly, and I’m gripping around his cock while hot cream secretes from my pussy.
“Oh, yes!” My eyes roll to the back of my head again as another ripple crashes into me, a gush of hot liquid following right behind.
He leans down, moaning and breathing harshly at the rim of my ear; cold sweat rubs against my back, and my scalp rises with blazing heat. “Say it, or you don't get to come again. I’ll make sure of it.”
He stuffs his hand between us and teases my engorged clit. Stimulating me until my head throbs, and when I’m right on the brink, he stops. I shatter inside, dragging the sheet angrily. He does it again, massaging my nub, while his movements stay the same.
It becomes too much. Delirious in his compelling and blazing heat, I cry out, “Ronan!”
His knees spread my legs wider as he pumps faster. “Wrong,” he growls out like a beast.
My throat swells as I’m at the tip of a glorious release. “Poison.”
His breath blows harshly against the curve of my ear. “I can’t hear you, little snake.”
With a nip to my ear and another deep thrust, I nearly crumble. “Say it louder.”
If I had pride, it’s nowhere in sight.
“POISON!” I scream through choked whimpers proudly.
Satisfied, he slows, and he licks my cheek. “That's my bad girl.” He slips from me and tosses me around so fast that I end up on top, facing him. My body is weak, my back is aching, and I fall forward, but he catches me with both of his strong hands on my throat and jaw. His veins protrude from his arms to hold my upper body weight, but I grab his wrist to even it out.
His gaze is heavy and his expression lustful. He draws his brows as he shifts his hips and inserts himself back into my throbbing pussy. He slides into my soaked cunt with ease.
His eyes shut and both of our mouths part from our collision, the impact is heightened at how badly I need my release.
“Fuck yes,” I whisper, tossing my head slightly, even with his hold on me. “Oh, your cock was made for me.” I'm hit with another shudder of sensations, and I cry out.
“ Ta teub est juste parfaite pou moi.” Your cock is so perfect for me.
The words tumble freely in French as I rock my hips up and thrust down, moaning again when the head of his cock hits my a-spot.
“So perfect, darling.”
He groans loud, gently digging his nails into my skin. We both begin to move slowly. Sensually. Meeting each other halfway. It’s in union, just as we are when we’re on a mission. We’re aligned, like he’s reading my body language, and together we lead the way. Our deep movements fuel my need to orgasm, and I rock faster.
I look at him as my body moves above, and he’s watching me with a passionate intensity that stokes a burning flame behind his hard gaze. Everything seems to disappear, and we both lose ourselves in the shadows of our tainted souls. Together, finding the lost pieces, just from us joining in more ways than one.
He’s my poison, and I’m his venom.
A glint passes over his eyes, and he lowers me, crashing his lips against mine. He groans in my mouth, and I part my lips as our tongues lick over one another delicately. My clit grazes against his hard stomach and pressure builds at the base of my belly. I’m zoned back into the explosive release that’s just ahead.
I bite down on his bottom lip with tiny whimpers as he pumps faster, stimulating all the important parts of my body, and I moan his name over and over.
My palm glides across his scars, touching the sensitive surface with tenderness. Ronan kisses me again, and rocks slower, pressing his forehead against mine, our noses touching. I’m sucked into his deep shadow, finding pleasure and peace in him.
He looks me in the eyes, fiercely chanting his native tongue against my lips. “Are you my bad girl?”
I nod as the coaxing fills my chest. “ Oui .”
His hips plunge again, breathing harder. “And you’re the baddest?”
“ Oui .”
“Are you going to ruin them with me?”
“Yes. We’re going to burn them to the fucking ground.” I shudder, the image of his death playing in my mind. Flashes of the murder happening before my eyes, of me slashing my blade clean across Victor's throat, his blood spraying out and coating my face in his acid crimson. The thought of it sets me off, and with a few more strokes, I’ll be tipping over the edge.
“Together?” he asks.
“Yes. Oui .”
He kisses me again, hard enough to cause bruising.
“Will you be cruel?”
I shut my eyes. “Yes.”
“And you’ll be rotten?” We moan together when he bottoms out once more, and I squeeze around him. His breath mingles with mine, creating a sweet and deadly concoction.
Emotion swells in my throat and behind my eyes. “So rotten.”
“Good. Don’t ever forget that,” he says wickedly. He bends his knees to position his feet on the bed, finally removing his clutch from my neck; he circles his arms over my back, smashing me into his blazing chest. Ronan proceeds to fuck me at a desperate speed, stimulating my swollen clit with his pelvis until my muscles tighten all over, and I’m exploding with my orgasm. My nipples twinkle as the hair on my skin rises, like all my electrons joined to send eruption after eruption throughout my body. My toes curl as I stuff my face into his neck and bite down as it overcomes me. I’m lifted to another kind of high as my release stretches for what seems like forever. I remove my teeth from his neck; as it overpowers me, the sweetest whines flow past my lips.
“ Hmmm, Ronan . Yes, fuck yes.” Happy tears pool in my eyes again and leak down my face. My body jerks as my pussy clenches and unclenches like a fist.
Unwrapping his arms from around me, I’m lifted with his hands clasped around my neck again and into his view.
“That’s it, baby. Cry for me. I want all your beautiful tears.” As if that turns him on, he pounds faster, his movements become unsteady and breathe choppy with sexy groans. He jams his thumb into my parted lips, keeping me from filling the room with my outbursts of mewling sounds. Intoxicated above him, I grip onto his broad shoulders and lick over his thumb, sucking it like it's my favorite thing to do.
“I'm coming inside of you. You want every last drop, little snake? Do you want my poison, hmmm?” he says coarsely.
Floating on a high I’ve never felt in my life, I nod vigorously. “Yes, every drop. Fill me with it, please.”
One last pump, he jerks up, and a deep, animalistic grunt fills the room. “Fuuuuck.”
His hands grab my ass as he cums inside of me.
“Anita,” he groans, digging his head back into the pillow as his release hits. His Adam's Apple on full display as he rides it out. The sound of my name coming from his lips sends a shock wave of electricity through me, and I’m coming all over again. I dig my nails into his skin to withstand the intensity.
“ Ronaaaann, ” I cry uncontrollably, rocking my hips rapidly from that unexpected blow, my muscles weakening further from the multiple orgasms he delivered.
He dips his finger into my asshole, dragging it up and down as we savor in our own delicious hell. Sticking to his word, he plunges up deep enough for me to take every ounce of his seed, the combination is thick and creamy, as if he’s been caging in his cum for decades.
We finally slow down; his dick twitches inside of me. We’re both sticky and trembling from the experience. He lowers me down to his cold, but steaming, chest. Once I’m lying flat on him, the nerves in my body beginning to settle as we kindle into a simmering flame. I shut my eyes, listening to his pacing heartbeat, my tears sticking to him as he pets my head with a soothing rub. “You’re mine, little snake. You’re my venom.” I breathe in his sweaty musk, deepening my weight as if he’s my cocoon.
Listening to his soothing words. “And I need you here,” he finishes quietly while running his hand down my sticky hair.
I sigh in contentment, resting my cheek on his shoulder. For the first time in a long time, I drift off, feeling at peace.
“Stay with me, please.”
They are the last words I hear before I’m under his spell.