4. Portia
4
PORTIA
“Pssst. We need to talk,” I whisper. “Bathroom?”
Jayla arches a brow. “Bathroom.”
She excuses herself from the conversation she’s having with Adagio and then links arms with me. I drag us away from the living room where everyone’s gathered to mingle. We escape into the arched hall and find our way to the nearest bathroom a few doors down.
The second the door snaps shut, Jayla’s gesturing at me to spill. “Well? What’s the problem now?”
My features twist in offense. “Gee, thanks, Jay.”
“You know what I mean, sissy. You’ve been extra uptight since we got to Sicily. Don’t you just want to loosen up?”
“I’d love to but…”
“But what?”
At her prompt, I release a breath I’ve been holding in and shake my head. It’s difficult finding the words to explain how I feel.
It’s not that I don’t want to loosen up. It’s not that I don’t want to enjoy myself.
I have enjoyed myself.
The dance I shared earlier with Rafael is still seared into my brain. I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced anything like it before.
A moment bursting with so much sexual tension and attraction that I literally found myself unable to breathe.
All in public with dozens of watchful eyes.
But… but…
“Well?” Jayla prompts again when I’ve said nothing. “What is it, Portia?”
I lean against the bathroom wall, my eyes slipping close. “It feels overwhelming. It’s a lot.”
“You mean after Lincoln?”
I nod.
Jayla softens in understanding and reaches for my hand. “Sissy, you’ve got to move on. Don’t you think this vacation is the perfect chance to? Rafael Calderone is into you, girl. Anybody with eyes can see it. Just have some fun.”
“Is that what you’re going to be doing?” I aim a halfhearted smirk at her.
“You know me. I’m all about living life to the fullest. Now it’s your turn. You’re newly divorced! You’re finally a free woman. Do you know how long it’s been since you’ve had new dick? Some good dick?”
I laugh. “Jayla…”
“It’s true. And let’s be real a second. Rafael has good dick nose.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You know, good dick nose. You know what they say about men with big hands and feet? The same applies to men with strong noses. He’s got one, sissy. Just imagine what he’s packing.”
We break out into laughter like we’re schoolgirls, but it’s the moment I need to lighten the mood.
“Okay, okay. I’ll go with the flow,” I say, stepping toward the mirror to check my hair and makeup. “He is really fine and I do like his company.”
“That’s what I’m talking about! We’re on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation in fucking Sicily! Get your back blown out for once. Shit, I know I am. I’ll give you the D report on Adagio tomorrow morning.”
Before I can stop her, Jayla wrenches the bathroom door open and slips out to return to the festivities.
I breathe in and out a couple more times, urging myself to cool it and keep calm. Jayla’s right when she says we’re on vacation. I’m supposed to be enjoying myself.
It’s been months since my marriage ended. I’m supposed to move on. What’s stopping me from having a fun vacation fling other than me getting in my own way?
Once I return to the living room, only a few seconds go by before Rafael’s at my side. He clearly noticed I was missing and was waiting for me to return.
“Is everything alright, dolcezza ?” he asks.
I tack on a small smile as I pick up my wine glass. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking. I just… I needed…”
“Some air?” he offers. “You did the same at Ballare earlier. Come with me.”
His larger hand scoops mine up and he tugs me alongside him. We leave the living room behind, where Anthony Sr. and his son are in the middle of more cigars and Jayla and Adagio are flirting heavily with each other.
The rest of the villa is a huge, sprawling home with many rooms all tastefully decorated in off-white rustic Italian styling. Aged wood and leafy plants pair with many long windows and an open invitation to the sea.
Rafael leads me through an archway that spreads out into the terrace and offers a view that most would die for. The vast sky meeting the equally vast water, both twinkling in the moonlight.
The cool sea breeze brushes my skin and instantly erases the nerves I’m feeling. I breathe in the salty air and let out a little sigh.
Rafael smirks. “Feel good?”
“Yes… very good. Thanks for bringing me out here.”
“I’m curious about you, Portia. I told you I wanted to spend time with you. Tell me about yourself.”
“You must already know. I’m the winner of your contest.”
“I know the basics. Your name. Age. City of residence. But I want more,” he says plainly. “I want to know Portia James the woman. You intrigue me.”
I nibble on my bottom lip to hold back a nervous laugh. “Umm… what is there to say? I’m thirty-two. Almost thirty-three. I live in Newport City. I’m a field reporter for the local news. I enjoy traveling and sports. Recently divorced.”
He sips on his glass of wine as I speak, silent yet attentive. I know this by the subtle reactions he gives to every word I say. The way his jaw sets or he subtly nods along or his dark gaze flickers with increased curiosity.
…he sincerely wants to know more about me.
“Where have you been?” he asks. “Your travels. Any recommendations?”
“Do you like to travel too?” I ask, feeling lighter. “I went to Jamaica last summer. I had an amazing time. It was for a special assignment at work, but we got enough time off to enjoy ourselves. I went snorkeling for the first time and surprisingly would love to do it again. Then, of course, there’s the food.”
“Jamaica,” he repeats. “I’ve never been. Maybe someday you can be my tour guide.”
He’s joking, flirting .
Yet at the slight quirk of his mouth, I can’t help warming up. I take another sip from my wine.
“Maybe. It would be a thank you for giving me such a great experience in Sicily.”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. I was concerned you weren’t.”
“I get in my head a lot sometimes. I’m very analytical… to a fault. It’s what Lincoln—never mind.”
“Lincoln. Your ex-husband Lincoln?”
A beat of tension fills the air where his tone loses its hint of affection and I feel my insides do a flip. I give a nod and cast my gaze out at the sea in front of us.
“That would be my ex. It used to drive him crazy how I’d overthink everything. He was the opposite. He thought about nothing. Which is why he was always so underprepared. We were opposites and not in a good way.”
He hums, swallowing another taste of wine. “But he’s out of the picture now. Which is good for you, right?”
“Very. I’m relieved. It’s for the best. What about you?”
“What about me, dolcezza ?”
“I’ll admit I don’t know much about you. But I’d be remiss if I pretended not to know you’re some world famous businessman. You’ve been on the cover of Forbes , right? You do business in numerous countries. I’m sure you have plenty of women dying to be with you. Is there anyone special?”
He lets a moment pass before he answers. Setting his glass of wine down first, he turns to face me and then slips my glass out of my hand to do the same. I’m left defenseless under his probing gaze as he steps closer and eliminates the space between us.
“There is,” he answers mysteriously. “She’s very, very special.”
I can’t bear the weight of his stare, so I look away. I glance to the side, pretending to find something fascinating on the shoreline.
But Rafael Calderone refuses to let me escape his advances. He cups my chin and turns my face back toward his.
“Sicily has some of the most beautiful women in the world,” he says matter-of-factly. “Yet you put each one to shame. I can’t keep my eyes off you, dolcezza .”
The nervous laugh I’d held back earlier spills out of me. “Rafael?—”
“You caught my eye the first moment I saw you,” he says. “But it’s not just your beauty. There’s more to you, isn’t there? You said it yourself. You’re analytical and a thinker. Do you know how sexy that is to a man like me?”
Rafael encourages me to tell him more about my work as a field reporter for Newport Metro News.
I’m hesitant to give details at first before he goads me on. Before he makes it clear he means it when he says he’s actually interested.
Lincoln enters my mind. I think about the many times I’d tried to tell him about my work and he’d hummed emptily as if each word went in one ear and out the other.
But Rafael happens to be the opposite—he listens with intention. He asks questions. He makes comments, some of them amusing enough to draw a laugh out of me.
I tell him about my aspirations to make it to the evening news.
Prime time reporting.
So far I’ve been relegated to the morning, where I’m mostly reporting on traffic accidents and incoming bad weather.
It’s the evening time slot that I truly covet. That I’ve been working years toward.
“You’ll earn it soon,” Rafael says, sounding so certain. “I’m sure your boss will realize you deserve the promotion. I’m sure you’re excellent at what you do.”
My cheeks heat up more than they already have. Partially due to the wine I’m sipping on, but also due to his encouraging words. “You’re just saying that because you think I’m beautiful.”
“No, dolcezza . I never tell a lie. If there is one thing to know about me. It’s that I will never lie.”
He says it so sternly, his tone serious. His eyes bore into mine, as honest and genuine as can be.
A shiver racks its way down my spine and I’m the first to blink and look away.
“I didn’t mean to imply you’re a liar…”
“Tell me more about your work. You said you want to go into crime reporting?”
Before either of us realizes it, an hour passes. The breeze chills, producing goosebumps on my skin.
Rafael pulls off his blazer and drops it over my shoulders to warm me up.
“Better?” he asks.
I smile. “Yes, thank you.”
“Leave me alone!” shrieks a female voice from inside the villa.
Our heads snap toward the archway leading back into the house. Rafael seems to recognize the voice, because he rushes inside to follow the sound. My curiosity’s too deep not to go with him. I’m half a pace behind as we explore the huge space and come up on the woman who was screaming.
It’s Sofia, tear-streaked and disheveled in the kitchen.
She’s yelling at one of Rafael’s security members who seems to be checking on her.
“I said leave me!” she snaps, sniveling. “It’s none of your business!”
My investigative instinct takes the lead. The girl’s torn dress and tears shining on her cheeks are troubling. I shoot toward her.
“Are you okay? What happened?”
She blinks at me as if I’m speaking a foreign language she’s never heard, then notices Rafael and bursts into another sob.
“Rafael, l’ha fatto di nuovo. Mi ha spezzato il cuore e mi ha lasciato così .”
“Sofia,” he sighs, sticking his hands in his pants pockets. “ Quante volte te l’ho detto? Non ti merita .”
I stand back awkwardly as Rafael steps toward her and runs his hand over her untamed dark tresses. She sniffles and hangs her head, more tears leaking down her cheeks.
Unsure what else to do or say, but aware how the young woman is uninterested in any comfort I can offer, I decide to see myself out. I turn to go and walk out of the kitchen, draining the last of my wine glass.
Whoever this Sofia is, she clearly demands a lot of Rafael’s attention.
Attention he’s immediately willing to give her.
I should’ve known there were other women…
“Portia! Portia, where are you going?”
It’s Rafael calling after me.
I stop halfway down the hall, debating if I should bother turning around. He’ll probably offer some half-assed excuse about how he has no interest in Sofia or she’s someone from his past. Whatever he can say to remain in my good graces.
Typical for men.
“What is it, Rafael?” I ask.
He doesn’t wait for me to turn around—he simply strides over and steps in front of me to force my gaze.
“Why did you walk away?”
“She clearly needs you. I understand. Go be with her.”
“Sofia?” He raises a brow.
I chuckle. “Rafael, it’s okay. You’re a man. A rich, successful one at that. I know your type. No hard feelings.”
“You think Sofia and I…?” he trails off and then releases his loudest laugh yet. It’s almost insulting how he laughs in front of me, like I’m so delusional that he can’t take the accusation seriously.
I roll my eyes and then turn to leave. “Good night.”
He seizes hold of my arm and stops me. “ Dolcezza , you misunderstand. I laugh not because it’s true. I laugh because of how untrue it is. Sofia is my baby sister.”
“She’s your… oh . Oh!” I cover my face with one of my hands, feeling ridiculous. “I’m so sorry. I had no clue.”
“How would you? I didn’t tell you. But she’s very important to me. You understand, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. Jayla’s very important to me too.”
“She has this boyfriend who breaks her heart. Plays mind games with her.”
“How did she rip her dress?”
“She had too much to drink tonight. He left her stranded after dinner.” His face darkens. “I’ll be dealing with him soon.”
“So you’re a typical overprotective older brother. I can see it.”
“No one messes with people I care about, dolcezza . I’ll always ensure they’re handled. Would you still like to spend more time with me?”
The question is asked so calmly, with such sincerity in his gaze that I can’t help nodding. I slip my hand into his and let him change course toward the wide staircase. We pass by the living room that had been brimming with life and conversation only an hour ago.
It’s empty now except Anthony Sr., who sits snoring on the sofa, his jaw propped open. Everyone else must’ve gone to bed.
Jayla must’ve gone to have her little one-night stand with Adagio.
Rafael leads the way up the stairs and my heart feels like it’ll leap into my throat at any second. I’m nervous all over again as I realize where this could be going.
I haven’t had sex in months. Almost a year.
The last time was with Lincoln when our marriage had been on the brink of collapse and we didn’t even finish.
He’d lost his erection and I was in pain from my endometriosis. Another complication when it’s come to my dating and sex life as long as I can remember.
“No need to be nervous, dolcezza . We can just talk on the balcony,” Rafael says, stopping us in front of a large door on the second floor landing. He twists the knob and lets the door fall open to reveal a massive all-white bedroom that must be his. “I just want some privacy. Is that okay?”
I’m not sure what it is that makes me trust him… but I do.
Deep inside, some part of me says he won’t hurt me. He’s being honest when he says he wants to get to know me. He just wants to spend time together.
But maybe the wine’s throwing my judgment off. That’s a possibility too.
I’ve had several glasses tonight…
I inhale a shaky breath and step into the room.
Everything’s so perfect. So tasteful.
From the large bed neatly made with a cascade of pillows and sheets I’m sure are thousand thread count to the leafy plants in the room and the heavy, rustic furniture filling the space.
It’s all so thoughtfully put together.
Rafael takes my hand and guides me toward the glass sliding door.
We wind up on the balcony with an even better view of the sea than earlier and discuss a range of topics over the next hour. The conversation flows naturally between us, until I’m so comfortable I’m no longer in my head.
“Is this your main residence?” I ask.
The corner of his mouth spasms as if tempted to grin. “I have houses all over. Right now I spend most of my time in the States.”
“Newport City?”
“So you do know about me,” he says with an impressed nod. “It’s one of the business capitals of the world.”
“I know what Jayla’s told me. I’m sorry,” I admit with a laugh. “I’ve heard your name touted around, but I’ve never done my research.”
“I like that you haven’t. I prefer it that way.”
My right brow arches. “Oh really? Is that because of what I would find?”
“It’s because it shows you are not someone with an agenda. For a man like me, it’s something I have to be cognizant of,” he explains. “Everything about you is real, Portia. Your beauty is natural. Your intelligence and grace are effortless. Your curiosity feels sincere. I enjoy being around you.”
“I… I like being around you too.”
“Hmmm.”
He settles his gaze on my face and inches closer as if he’s about to grab hold of me like at the club. I inhale a sharp breath, standing still enough to let him if he chooses. I’m acutely aware of how my body reacts to even his subtlest moves.
My heart beats faster at the prospect of his touch. Nerves flip in my belly at the thought of his kiss. A warm flush crawls onto my brown skin the closer he looms.
“Hmmm?” I choke out, feeling breathless. “Hmmm what?”
“Hmmm… you’re so tempting, dolcezza ,” he says bluntly. “I’m wondering if you’ll let me do what I want to do.”
“Which… which is?”
An amused grin flits in and out of his handsome face before he clips my chin between his fingers and then plants a simple kiss on my lips.
Short but sweet.
Quick but teasing.
Over so soon, I’m left leaning toward him for more.
He runs his tongue along his bottom lip as if he can taste me, even from such a small little kiss. “ Deliziosa .”
It’s the last word he utters before we come together a second time.
Before both of us lean toward the other seeking more. His mouth lands on mine in a warm kiss that’s patient and explorative, like he wants to learn every detail of me.
The kiss feels like a dream.
It makes me question if I’ve entered an alternative reality where nothing else matters.
The past I’ve let rule me, the bad experiences I’ve had, and the heartbreak over Lincoln and the divorce slip out of my mind.
The only thing that exists in this reality is Rafael Calderone’s warm, passionate kiss and the hands he caresses me with.
It’s within seconds that he has me panting. That his hands slide up my back and produce a shudder out of me. His tongue teases my lips, knowing exactly how to unravel me. Exactly how to get me going.
Rafael kisses like he’s playing a game. As if there will only be one victor and he seeks to win.
I can’t possibly put up a fight. I’m not sure I’d want to even if I could.
I surrender to him with a soft moan.
He frames my cheek in his hand and nuzzles my face with his. “You are like a drug, dolcezza ,” he confesses, his breathing ragged. “I’m worried I won’t be able to let go if I get to have you.”
I nip at his lips hoping for another kiss. “What if… we don’t have to think about that right now? What if… we just enjoy ourselves?”
I’m not sure what makes me say it.
Maybe some combination of the wine and boldness that’s taken root inside me.
Because it’s unlike Portia James to let go like this.
I’m not Jayla—I don’t typically do spontaneity. I don’t do vacation flings or spur-of-the-moment hook ups.
Yet as Rafael gives into another kiss and heat rushes me, I’m aware there’s no slowing down. There’s no pressing the brakes on this.
We’ve both made up our minds.
I fist my hands in his dress shirt, then let my fingers gravitate to the buttons so I can undo them. He plays with the neckline of my red cocktail dress, his touch seductive and shiver-inducing. We strip each other piece by piece until we’re half naked against the wall, still trading passionate kisses.
Rafael’s warm palms slide down my hips and thighs, grunting his approval. He hoists me up by the thighs, plucking me off the ground with ease. I grip his shoulders and giggle as he carries me inside the bedroom and then drops us to his bed.
We land already seeking out each other’s mouth, meeting in another hot, eager kiss.
I’m not sure who I am in this moment, but I’ve lost any nerves. I’m not thinking as we roll over several times on the bed. He’s on top, then I’m on top, and then he’s pinning me down and peppering kisses all over my throat.
Lust thickens in the air. Arousal surges inside us.
But we’re still playful. We take our time, having fun driving the other crazy. Rolling over yet again, I trap Rafael between my thighs and unhook my strapless bra. His palms skim slowly up my torso, cupping my breasts.
Filling his hands with them.
My eyes flutter shut at how amazing his touch feels.
I rock against his pelvis as he fondles them and then rolls my nipple between his fingers.
“ Squisita, dolcezza . But I want a taste.”
The room spins as I’m flipped under him and his mouth clamps down on one of my breasts. I cry out at the heat that sears through me. His teeth graze the delicate mound of flesh, tugging at my hard nipple.
I’m at his mercy, squirming under him.
My pussy beats faster than the heart in my chest. The throbbing becomes unbearable, so turned on I’d do anything for relief.
Rafael kisses and sucks on my breasts until I’m almost about to come. I’m sensitive enough, starved for physical intimacy, that his touch is like magic.
Somehow, he knows just how to edge me.
He knows just how to take me there.
By the time he strips my panties off, I’m spreading my legs for him. He swears under his breath and presses his fingers to my pussy, rubbing at my clit. Leaning over me to drop a kiss on my lips, he says, “Is this what you want, Portia? Tell me now. Tell me I’m lucky enough to have you.”
A tremor of arousal passes through me. I gaze hazily up at him and murmur, “I’m yours tonight. Have your way with me.”
He groans as if he can’t believe his ears, then explodes with ravenous hunger. If he made me feel desirable before, he makes me feel impossibly irresistible now.
I’m consumed by his kiss and touch. Both feel everywhere at once as he kisses my throat and appreciatively fondles my naked curves.
I let my hands wander too.
Rafael’s body is impeccable—he’s broad and long with ropey muscle but trim and lean at the waist, clearly taking meticulous care of himself. My hands wander over the tattoos decorating his body and the light patches of hair on his chest and arms.
It feels good just to touch him. Just to feel the twitch of his muscle and the heat rising off his skin.
His dick is thick and heavy. It’s veiny and swollen.
My eyes screw shut as he strokes his length and slips a condom on, positioning himself at my entrance.
“ Dolcezza , you’re so tight,” he groans. “I’m not sure if I’ll fit like this.”
“I… I… sometimes…” I breathe, struggling to speak through my arousal. “Sometimes I have trouble taking… do you have… any lube?”
He kisses me on the lips and then rolls off me, presumably to grab some. He returns half a second later with a bottle of some that he squirts onto his dick and slicks onto my pussy.
“Tell me if it’s too much,” he says.
I cry out taking him.
As he fits himself inside me, I arch against him and grip at the bedsheets. It feels like I’m being stretched more than I ever have before, yet it’s a sensation I don’t want to let go of. It’s a fullness that makes me see stars.
Rafael’s attentive the entire time. He goes slow, inch by inch. He seals my lips with more kisses and caresses my curves with a kneading touch.
Giving me what I need when I need it.
Distracting me until he’s rooted inside and I’m fuller than I’ve ever been in my life.
When he starts moving his hips, it’s with the same attentiveness that tells me he’s in tune with every reaction of mine. He’s slow but passionate and intense, hiking my thigh up higher and stroking deeper.
Pleasure comes in tiny blips that spark in and out. They burn hot like little fires that will soon explode.
Rafael groans as he bottoms out and my pussy kneads him.
The lube’s made me even more slippery, slicker as he works himself in and out of me. His dick spreads me open, so thick that he’s almost too much. He would be without the lube.
It’s a miracle I’m taking him like I am.
Lincoln and I always had problems, where I was too tense and it wound up being too painful.
Yet with Rafael, it’s only pleasure that I feel.
It bubbles up inside me as I gyrate my hips to meet his. He strokes at just the right angle I need, stimulating my sweet spot.
I scratch my nails down his chest and arms in approval and earn another throaty growl from him. He kisses me as deep as he fucks into me, then draws back to peer intensely into my eyes. I find myself caught up in him.
The passion’s too overwhelming. The natural chemistry. The desire that feels like it’ll consume me.
All of it drives my impending orgasm.
I meet Rafael’s hungry mouth. Our tongues twirl together. His stroke gathers speed. We’re panting as we chase our finish. We’re impatient letting our hands wander while our bodies collide in deeper and harder thrusts.
He rolls me onto my side, hooking my leg under his arm, and spears back into me from behind. His dick slides in completely and I cry out at how girthy he is. How stretched my pussy feels accommodating him.
It’s the final trigger I need to push me into my orgasm. It strikes as a frisson of pleasure exploding from the inside. I seize up as he wraps his arms around me and fucks me harder, picking up his pace and biting into my shoulder.
Rafael gives in with a final deep thrust, his dick twitching inside me.
“ La tua figa è come una droga ,” he groans into the side of my neck. “ Non sai cosa hai fatto. Non posso lasciarti andare adesso .”
I have no idea what he’s telling me, though even between his ragged huffs for air, it sounds intimate. I’m exhausted, a sudden sleepiness rolling over me. I tuck myself into his side and lean in for a kiss on the lips.
Rafael brushes hair out of my face and peers into my eyes as intently as he had in the moment. As if he’s truly unable to stop himself from doing so.
“Get some sleep, dolcezza ,” he says. “It’s been a long night.”
I don’t need to be told twice.
It has been a long night. A night I never expected to share with a man like Rafael, but a night I don’t think I’ll ever come to regret…