Chapter 9 Jamaica
I tried to call you, but since you’re mad at me, I’ll text. I need to stay in Atlanta another day. I’ll make it up to you, I swear. Need to work out more details on the contract.
I picked up my cell, ready to argue with Kody, when a text popped up on my screen.
Did you make it home?
Yes. Did you do something to make sure that Kody doesn’t come home until tomorrow?
No. I don’t manipulate situations. Just a hunch. Thought I told you to let me know when you made it home?
His arrogance reeked through the phone, though I couldn’t help the warm feelings that spread at his protective side. Before I could reply with something snappy, he sent another text.
We will finish what we started.
The e-ticket soon followed.
I stared at Freedom’s cowboy hat that still rested in the passenger seat, and then my wedding ring and all that I wanted it to represent.
Stability. Love. Partnership. Respect. Trust. Kody did take me for granted.
He’s supposed to be so pissed that he’s doing whatever he can to get his ass back home.
I danced with my superstar ex-boyfriend in front of our classmates.
He knows our children are out of town with my parents, and I’m not answering my phone.
Yet after his initial jealousy, he seemed okay that I’d spent any time with Freedom.
Seething, I recognized that he didn’t care that I danced with Freedom.
My adoring husband was more concerned that I was caught on camera for the world to see.
I texted him back.
Glad you’re staying in Atlanta another day. I’ll have more fun without you at the reunion anyway.
A sane man who loves his wife would question why his wife was okay with a change in plans on her big weekend when she’d already expressed anger at his absence.
Maybe he would respond the way I wanted him to, and I could attribute it to his concern for the business, explaining why staying was more important than coming home.
We’d had a lean couple of years when we didn’t think our business would survive.
I got out of the car, walked through the side door, and into my home, and collapsed on the sofa. I must have drifted off to sleep because my ringing cell startled me. Expecting Kody, I answered, “You have to stop taking me for granted.”
“Um…this is Lori.” She cleared her throat. “And Kody must not be home.”
My eyes burned from the lack of sleep as I shifted on my side. “No, he isn’t.”
“When is he coming home?”
“Probably tomorrow. Texted me he still has business to conduct.” I squinted at my cell and jumped up. “Shit, Lori. I need to be at the park in ten minutes.”
“That’s why I called. I’m already here, wondering where you are. Guess I have my answer.” She commented, “When can you get here? It’s muddy from the rain, we need to move some things around.”
“Thirty minutes. Late night and didn’t get much sleep.”
“I thought we weren’t going to worry about Kody like that ever again?”
“I’m not.” Hurrying to my closet, I pulled out a halter top sundress. “Don’t make a big deal out of it, but I spent the night with Freedom. We didn’t have sex,” I hastened to add before I silently jumped up and down in frustration at the lie. Now, I’m Bill Clinton. Going down on me isn’t sex?
Lori whooped and happily yelled on the other end. “Finally.”
“No, not finally.” I walked out of the closet, pressed the speaker button, and dropped the cell and my sundress on my bed.
“We both ended up at the clearing, and we had words about Jamie. Yes, he knows that’s his son.
Supposedly, he found out on his own recently.
Swears if he’d known he’d been there for me, and wants to meet him. ”
“Did I not beg you to tell him to find him and tell him about Jamie?”
“I know. I know. Except Kody told me that Freedom has always known.” I pulled off my panties, tugged the tight dress over my head, and tossed it on the floor before marching into the bathroom to wash up.
“That he came back to see me, and my father told him that I had a baby, and Freedom left and hasn’t looked back until now. ”
“Why now, if he already knew?”
“According to him, he swears he didn’t know, and my father lied.”
“Do you believe him because your father couldn’t stand Freedom? He might have lied.”
“I really don’t want to dredge up the past and ask my father.
He couldn’t stand Freedom. It’s hard for me to believe that the Freedom I knew back then would abandon me and his baby.
I can’t speak to how the Job Corps and being away from his brother affected him.
I’m sure in some way, he was a changed man.
By the time he came back to see me, Jamie was an infant, and Freedom had probably already made a few contacts in the industry.
It didn’t take him long to land a record deal.
He wouldn’t be rich and famous had he stayed here with me.
And maybe that’s why he left, and now that he can more than take care of his son, he wants back in. ” I turned on the faucet.
“That better not be water running? Are you about to take a shower? Wait…something did happen between you and Freedom.”
“Let me get off this phone, and I’ll talk to you when I get there.”
“Did you get some dick?” She screeched.
“I told you I didn’t have sex.” I grabbed a washcloth and a towel out of my bathroom closet.
“Ooh, then he definitely went down on you, which is why you still have to get cleaned.”
“Or I need to get cleaned because I didn’t take a shower last night.” I retorted and soaped a cloth. My body tingled again at the reminder of how his tongue lavished my clit.
“I’m not getting off the phone until you admit you did something with Freedom. That man is too damn sexy and fine for you to resist him alone in a hotel room, married or not. You’re still human.”
“I can resist him.” Though the gleam in my eyes and glow on my face from my reflection suggested otherwise.
“Do you have eyes? Better yet, do you have a vagina?”
I burst out laughing. “Girl, let me go so I can get there and help. Don’t want people accusing me of stealing their money for the reunion.
I already ducked out last night. I need to be there this morning, though I’m operating on fumes.
Remind me not to entertain an ex when I have way too much to do. ”
“Yep, we’re definitely talking when I see you.” She paused. “Wait…Kody won’t be back until tomorrow, and Freedom is still in town. All those thirsty women are going to be screaming to get a piece of him, and all you have to do is call him? I’m telling you, a little get-back won’t hurt anyone.”
“Secrets have a way of seeping out when you least expect them. I’m here in this quicksand, fading fast because of secrets.
Maybe if we didn’t share a child, we could have a fling.
All having sex with Freedom would do is make me sink faster in this strange love triangle, and my sons can’t afford for me to drown.
” I checked the time on my cell. “Bye, Lori.”
I clicked off before she said anything else and studied my naked body in the mirror.
This is what Freedom saw in the early light of morning.
My breasts were full and had grown two cup sizes since he’d last seen me.
The scars from the c-section with KJ, the thickness and cellulite of two babies, and the passage of time on my stomach and thighs.
If it were any other man seeing my body besides Kody, I would have been shy.
I’d always been reserved and rarely wore tight or revealing clothes.
The dress I wore last night had been an attempt on my part to remind myself that I was a sexually vibrant woman and not just wife to Kody and Mommy to my sons.
Freedom had a way of making me feel like the most beautiful and desirable woman in the world with the way his dark eyes would sweep my body or linger on my face.
What would it mean if I did have my own indiscretion, if Freedom and I promised each other that it was a one-night-only situation because I had no intentions of leaving my marriage?
Could I live with that lie within my union when I prided myself on being honest?
Technically, I’d already cheated. Why not go all the way?
Maybe hearing Kody’s voice would remind me of the vows I took before God and my family and friends. Still standing nude before the mirror, I inhaled and exhaled before I called my husband.
He answered after the third ring. “I don’t want to hear your mouth. It couldn’t be helped.”
“Good morning, to you too,” I said as warmly as I could muster. “Maybe I just wanted to hear your voice. You’ve been gone four days now.”
“I’ll be back tomorrow.” He promised. “I know this weekend is important for you, but you didn’t have to hang up on me.”
“I hung up on you because you seemed to care more about the car than me.”
“I could tell you were fine.” He sounded annoyed.
I sighed. “Why did you have to stay longer?”
“I reviewed the contracts and realized several errors. By the time I’m supposed to meet with the Alloid Group, there are no straight flights out, and I hate layovers when it’s just Atlanta to Dallas.
If this partnership works like I believe it will, maybe we all move to Atlanta.
” He paused. “I even checked out a few homes while I’ve been here. ”
“I thought Dallas was our forever home and that the group understood this was base for us?”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to have to constantly fly back and forth.”
“You already knew this was possible.” I impatiently replied, “We said we would hire a manager who does it for us.”
“We can’t afford a manager. You know that,” he said harshly.
“I thought Freedom’s money was supposed to save us?”
“His money saves the company and gives us a cushion. Helping this company expand helps us thrive. Now, personally, I’ve been thinking that with the child support Freedom owes, we can probably get that house out in McKinney if we can afford a manager or buy something in Atlanta.”
I turned the faucet off without using it. “We’re not pimping Jamie out.”
“Why do you have to be so dramatic? That’s his son, and since he wants to be involved after all these years, he owes us fourteen years of child support. And with what he earns, we are set.”
“So, you’re good with allowing Freedom to meet Jamie now?”
“No, but I don’t have a say so since I never officially adopted him. I can go with the flow since we’re going to be working closely with Freedom. We break ground in a month.”
His nonchalance irked me. At the same time, I also recognize that if I continued to see Freedom even if it was on a professional level, we would fuck and probably fuck again. If I wanted a chance at preserving my marriage, I had to be honest and deal with the fallout.
“I’m not sure we should be working with him if we want to keep our marriage.” The butterflies were bee stings in my stomach as I took another deep, calming breath. “We were together last night after you and I got off the phone, and things went a little too far. It won’t happen again.”
He chuckled without waiting a beat. “Stop trying to make me jealous because you’re still mad I’m not there for the reunion.”
My head jerked back. “I’m not trying.”
“If you say so…” Kody retorted. “Last night, it’s all over social media how he left the reunion with Teyanna.
The way they used to fuck back in the day, no way, he was giving her up for you.
No offense. She’s hot, single, and loves sex.
” He chuckled. “You’re a wifey and a mother.
A single man ain’t trying to holla. If he flirted with you or said he still has feelings, I told you he’s just fucking around. ”
“Are you saying I can’t get Freedom back if I wanted to?
” I indignantly asked. Freedom better not be fucking with Teyanna anymore.
She caused issues between us back in high school.
So jealous about the possibility that Freedom might still be messing around with Teyanna, I forgot that I had no claim on Freedom.
I gathered my racing thoughts and reminded myself that my husband was on the phone and not in a hotel penthouse.
“Babe, I remember how much you loved each other back then. Freedom wanted you when he didn’t have anything.
He has the world now. Men like him, with his level of success, want women who’ll do whatever he asks, a badass woman who looks like she belongs on his arm.
You’ve seen the women he’s been with, and that’s not you.
We’ll let him see Jamie, build his home and studio, and then we'll keep moving forward. You’ll see as time goes on that he doesn’t want to be domesticated, and whatever fantasies you have about him will die.
I’m not mad about you trying to get me jealous.
I deserve it for abandoning you this weekend. ”
Angry and hurt tears pricked my eyes that he didn’t believe that Freedom could possibly want me again. Maybe that’s how my husband felt deep down about me. I slid down the wall to the cold, marble floor. “I guess I was just trying to make you jealous. I need to go now. I’m late for the barbecue.”
“Surprised you’re not there already anyway. I’ll be home in the morning before the boys come back. We can spend a little time together then, okay?” His tone sounded chipper and bright, utterly clueless that he’d insulted me.
“Okay.” I clicked off the cell, pulled my legs up, and rested my head on my bent knees.
My gut shouted louder than my ears wanted to hear.
Kody hadn’t changed at all. He was still cheating on me and living it up in Atlanta with some side chick who may or may not know about me.
He claimed he lost his wedding band earlier this year, and I planned to buy him another one on our anniversary in September.
I couldn’t automatically assume whoever she was knew he had a wife and two children waiting for him at home.
Lori was fucking right. Time for me to go for mine, like my husband had probably been doing for most of our marriage.
Pushing off from the floor, I stared at my reflection, fully embracing every scar, curve, or what others may see as imperfections, and tossed out any other reservations about having sex with Freedom Cade.