Chapter 19 Freedom #2
Jamaica marched ahead of us. “I can find something to put together. I’m sure you had someone bring you groceries.” She looked at me, her expression unreadable. “Show him his room and help him get settled. Give him something to wear so he can shower. Once food is ready, I’ll bring him food.”
Yep. She pissed.
About twenty minutes later, I wandered back into the kitchen where she’d made BLTs on wheat for us. I went into the pantry and brought out a tray to carry to Jamie’s room. “He’s barely hanging on. I can take the food to him.”
She slammed the glass on the counter and poured lemonade into a glass.
“I guess that’s a ‘yes’?” I placed the folding tray underneath my arm and carried the plate in my hand.
“I’ll bring the lemonade. You can’t carry it all,” she replied tersely. “I’m staying with him until he eats and goes to sleep. Then we need to talk.”
“No, we don’t.” I gestured at her face using the plate. “Not with all this. Too tired for anger. We can talk tomorrow. You need rest, and I guarantee you’re going to be watching him like a hawk all night.”
“Tonight. Eat your sandwich and stay your ass up.” She stalked away from me.
“Thanks for the sandwich. Am I in trouble?” I called after her, and she didn’t respond. Is this a taste of marriage to Jamaica? I bit back my smile.
Freshly showered and wearing a t-shirt and shorts, I rested my back against my headboard, playing my guitar, waiting for Jamaica.
My bedroom was the farthest away from Jamie, and the walls were thick.
I didn’t want to disturb his sleep with my need to play.
When she knocked on the door, I directed her to come in, and I changed from random strumming to Charley Pride’s Kiss an Angel Good Morning.
Her frown turned into a reluctant smile while I sang that a man’s key to happiness is making sure he takes good care of his woman. When I finished singing, she clapped and stood at the end of the bed. “Magical. Your voice is pure magic.”
I tipped my imaginary hat. “Thank you, Shortie.”
“That’s what you called me when you bumped into me that day.” Sweet nostalgia softened her face.
“I know.” I plucked a string. “Ready to talk? You seem to be in a better mood.”
“I am.” Jamaica rested her palms on the bed. “I need to get clean first, and I don’t have anything to wear.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here? I could have ordered clothes for you.”
“I ordered some clothes for me and Jamie. Good ol’ will deliver in the morning between five and ten. And it was a spur-of-the-moment decision for us to come here. Hence the Uber.”
“There’s a bathroom connected to the guest room down the hall.
I had the designer include robes in every bathroom.
You should be good until morning.” My guitar hid my erection.
I wasn’t going to pursue her anymore, and I wasn’t going to let her hurt me anymore.
I meant what I said to my brother. I was done with the intimate part of us.
I would be there for her as a co-parent and a friend.
“Can I take a shower in your bathroom?” She tilted her head, watching me.
“I’ll wait for you in the kitchen to talk, if you do. Or do you want to talk first and then take a shower?”
“What if I want to fuck first?” She boldly stared at me.
I inhaled deeply and pushed the air from my lungs.
“Why do you like fucking with me? You heard me say I’m done, and now you want to fuck?
It’s been a month of nothing from you, and before that, two weeks, because you believe you are supposed to be with Kody.
Then tonight, you show up, and I know you're pissed with me because you saw the alcohol and pills. Instead of talking about that, you want to have sex? You don’t know what you want. ”
“I want to get in bed with you and rub your temples and take care of you,” She implored.
“I gave you options.” My dick remained stiff underneath the guitar. The longer I stayed hard, and she pushed, she would get her way.
“None involved you fucking me.” She moved closer to me.
I eyed her warily. “I’m not pursuing you anymore. We had a weekend, and it’s over. Jamie is my focus.”
“You said that if I wanted to talk, we would talk, and if we wanted to fuck, we would.”
“Everything has changed now.”
“Is this about what happened in Nashville because we didn’t have sex?” Jamaica asked.
“No, it’s about realizing that you’ll never be able to truly see me for the man I’ve been since we started dating. I wanted to fuck you when I thought we might have had a future.”
She touched my forearm. “We do have a future. You’re right, I’ve been judging you. Tonight, I realized that I was on the wrong side of Jamie’s bed. I wanted to be next to you. I hated that you held my hand until we parked at the hospital when I needed your hand the most.”
I studied the earnestness in her face. “What about Kody? Does he know how you feel?”
“Not yet. I’ve been holding on to Kody because he’s the father of my other son, and my need to give KJ what I had growing up. Two parents who love each other under the same roof.”
At the mention of her father, I tensed, and the migraines started again.
I rubbed my left temple. “I’m really exhausted.
There’s no need for us to rehash us, or tell me again why you haven’t left Kody.
I’m done pressuring you. Stay with Kody and keep your happy family intact.
I have Jamie, and eventually I’ll meet my wife.
Have another baby or two. You’re right, we didn’t try hard enough when we were younger.
You’re married, and you have a life that I need to respect. ”
I squinted to alleviate some of the pain.
“And before you lecture me, I was going to drink and pop a pill or two to take away my headache, my pain of everything that happened today, but God intervened, reminding me it’s not just me anymore, and I have a son to think about.
I promise you that he won’t ever see me drunk or high.
Lastly, in case you’re wondering, I haven’t had a drink or used any pills in almost three months, and didn’t crave anything until tonight. I’m an abuser of alcohol and drugs, and not dependent, like my father.”
“I see you still get these.” She started massaging my other temple. “I realize that you were tempted to use again after how everything went down today, and it wouldn’t have helped matters if we had argued about it. If you say you’re not going to abuse alcohol and drugs, I believe you.”
I removed her hand from my head and squeezed it. “I’m glad you and Jamie are here. You can stay as long as you like, and whenever you explain to KJ who I am, he can visit too.” I took a breath. “Are you going to take a shower in the guest room or mine, so I know how I should move?”
Jamaica's soft expression hardened, and she marched to my bathroom and turned on the shower. I placed my guitar next to me and went to my backyard. I pulled off my shirt and dove into the pool. The cold water shocked my system as I expected it would, and my dick finally calmed down. I had to regain control of my body. She did this to me before. All those years ago, she told me we were over, but then she called to be there for me at court. Jamaica was used to me chasing her, and she didn’t know how to handle it when I didn’t.
And I was tired of being hurt, misunderstood, and judged.
I could no longer be foolishly in love with her.
I swam several laps to exhaust myself, and when I came up for air, a determined and seductive Jamaica stood at the edge of the pool.
She’d left the thick, black terry cloth robe open, giving me a glimpse of her breasts, her sparkling belly button, and her pussy.
She’d become the temptress, and the longing for her started anew.
“Can you pass me a towel?” I pointed to a rack of heated towels.
She stepped back and opened the robe. “It’s large enough for both of us.”
The moonlight and the soft lights around the pool illuminated her beautiful brown body.
Her doe eyes never appeared more piercing.
I pushed up from the pool, and her hungry gaze focused on the large tentpole that my dick made of my boxer briefs.
She enveloped me with the warmth of the robe and her body.
“Ooh, you’re wet and cold,” Jamaica squealed while pressing her body to mine.
“You begged for this.” I fisted her ponytail and jerked her head back to suck on her neck.
She slid her hand into the gap in the material and grasped my erection. “Treat me like the groupies you fucked for fun or to take out your anger. Forget about all the drama and whether we’ll be together. Just pure fucking with no strings. Can you give me that?”
I grew harder at the seductive light in her eyes and the hand that stroked me.
If she wanted to be fucked how I usually fucked women for purely sexual release, then I would give it to her.
Leaving the warmth of the robe and her embrace, I removed my shorts and stretched out on the nearby lounger by the grilling station out of sight of the glass doors.
Holding the base of my dick in my hand, I demanded, “Suck me, and you better swallow every last drop.”
Jamaica licked her lips like she was about to indulge in the best lollipop. I slid lower on the lounger. “Take that robe off and get in between my legs.”
She dropped the robe, and her nipples pebbled as she sauntered toward me.
Willing and ready to do whatever I ask. I loved her luscious breasts, the evidence that she’d once carried my baby, and that she didn’t wax.
Seemed more natural. She climbed on top of me and placed me in her mouth, her tongue licking and tasting the tip while she sucked on me.
Jamaica took all of me without hesitation and had worked on her gag reflex since we were teenagers.
The slurping sounds and her moans turned me on more.
I fisted her ponytail again to guide her strokes.
Tugging on her hair hard if she didn’t do as I showed her.
I pushed up my dick to fuck her mouth. Faster and faster I thrust, loving the wetness and tightness of her mouth like the best pussy, demanding that she keep up if she wanted to please me.
I looked down at her bobbing her head up and down, numbing myself to the deep love I had for her.
I would do as she asked and fuck her without my heart.
And when my body started twisting itself out, I held her to me as my cum exploded from deep within into her mouth.
She swallowed as I had expected of her and licked me even longer until my dick was clean.
She tugged on my beard to tongue me deeply, wanting me to taste myself. One of my hands curved over her ass to push two fingers inside. My tongue caught her loud gasp. I moved in and out of her already slick pussy, readying her body for my dick.
“I need a condom,” I said in between kissing her lips and her neck. “We can go back to my bedroom.”
“No, you don’t.” Jamaica reached down between us and grasped me. “Fuck me raw.”
I kissed her and gazed into her eyes. “I used condoms with the others.”
“Which is why I don’t want you to use one with me.” She writhed on top of me, her other lips caressing my engorged tip.
“Are you trying to trap me?” I moaned, unable to move away from her if I tried. Her seductive web held me enraptured.
She eased slowly down my shaft before quickly rising back up, teasing my poor, hard dick. “What if I am? What if I want another baby with you? What if I never want you to leave me again? Can you resist this pussy?”
“No, I can’t.” I flipped us over so fast, placed her legs on either side of the lounger, and thrust deep inside. Drilling her incessantly until every last emotion and pain of the day burst out of me like hot lava inside of her waiting body.
Jamaica immediately curled on her side, trying to calm down from her sexual high.
I grabbed several large warm towels and threw them over us while we cuddled together, half-watching House of Payne reruns on the large outside screen that I had over the grilling station. She looked up at me. “What now?”
“Nothing. I meant what I said to Peace, and I’m saying it to you. I’m done. There’s so much shit from the past that haunts us that I’m not sure I have the capacity to deal with it all. My focus has to be on Jamie. He is my priority.”
My words loomed over us as she continued to lie on top of me, restlessly. As I drifted off, she quietly announced, “I’m leaving him.”
Although her announcement fluttered my heart, I refused to allow myself to hope, and the silence became my answer.