Chapter 18
JULES
“I still can’t believe you found this place. You’re full of surprises, Cole.”
We sat on the rocks with literally no one else around for miles, except Marco. Other boats passed in the distance, but so far we were the only swimmers.
“Rosalie said he was the best. She was surprised he was still available for today, so I think we got lucky.”
“I would say so. Thanks again for arranging this.”
He sat the same as me, legs sprawled out in front of him, catching some rays. His body? Perfection. Obviously Cole didn’t skip leg day at the gym.
Also, no glasses.
“Can you see?” I asked, wondering how much he needed them.
“You’d be hard to miss.” It was as though Cole couldn’t help complimenting me but didn’t want to. Pushing him shouldn’t be so much fun. Poking holes in his carefully curated control was highly entertaining. And would probably backfire.
“Careful with the compliments. Don’t want to find my back against another wall.”
His jaw flexed.
I’d been going back and forth on whether or not to mention it, but since it was pretty much all I’d thought about since it happened, ignoring it felt dumb.
“I’m sorry about—”
“I wasn’t asking for an apology.”
“I’m giving you one anyway,” he said, stubbornly.
“Too bad I’m not accepting it.”
His eyes darkened. Yep. Dangerous territory, letting Cole know I’d liked it. More than liked it… Even now, my core clenched thinking about it.
“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he said finally, his shoulders stiffening.
“Most people go on vacation to loosen up. You’re the only one I know who could tense up on a rock in the middle of the Ligurian Sea on a sunny day.”
Maybe he hadn’t realized it before because Cole did drop his shoulders now. I’d loosen the guy up if it was the last thing I did on this trip.
“To be fair, I had no plans on an Italian vacation a few days ago.”
“Carpe diem,” I said, firmly believing in such a philosophy.
He shook his head. “Where did you come from?”
“My parents. Duh.”
He gave me a “you know what I meant” look.
“Are you more like your mom or dad?”
I thought about that for a second. “I’m not sure, actually.
I really think a combination of them both.
One thing they have in common is their love of travel.
It’s the one thing I’d change about my schedule.
I wish I could do more of it. Even if I had the money, which I don’t, so many gigs don’t leave a lot of flexibility. ”
“Well,” he said. “Which is the one that ties you down the most?”
“Private tutoring,” I said. “Without a doubt. The teaching is fine. It’s only part-time and there’s a lot of breaks, and time off. As you know. But the private stuff… it’s my least favorite too. But it pays too good to give up.”
“Finish your thriller, sell it and make up the income.”
I laughed. “You make it sound so easy.”
“For you?” he said, shrugging. “Maybe it is. Some people actually go after the thing they want.” And then—a flicker. The kind of truth that slips out before a person can catch it.
He looked away immediately, like he hadn’t meant to say it.
I blinked.
He wasn’t talking about me.
Or my thriller.
Not really.
But if I asked him about it, asked Cole what he really wanted, he’d clam up. I knew him enough to feel certain about that. So I pivoted.
“So what’s the next stop on this adventure?” I asked instead.
“Rosalie said Marco would take us swimming at a private cove, one hidden from tourists, then down the coast toward Manarola before dropping us in Riomaggiore for lunch on our own, and after that he’ll sail us past Corniglia and time the ride back to Monterosso for sunset.”
“Holy shit. What a dream day.” Catching myself, I added quickly, “Did you tell Parker what we were doing?”
Cole’s eyes darted away quick enough to give me the answer already.
“I did.”
He did, and whatever Parker had said back wasn’t something Cole would be sharing. Although I could guess what it was, knowing him. And especially knowing Delaney. Parker probably thought Cole and me getting together was as bad an idea as Jules.
Problem was, they were using logic.
Cole and I were like night and day.
I hadn’t even liked him a week ago.
The guy lived in New York City.
And most importantly, he was the one kind of guy a few years of therapy warned against. I doubt Cole let himself fully into his own thoughts. There was zero chance he’d let me in too.
But logic had nothing on the butterflies in my stomach since last night. Or the way it felt when I forced a crack in his facade, made him lose control. How he looked at me…
“Riomaggiore for lunch,” I mused. “Sounds perfect.”
He looked at me.
Really looked at me.
I could tell Cole wanted to say something but hesitated.
“What is it?” I asked.
“How many guys have you totally disarmed, without even trying?”
Laughing, I accepted the backhanded compliment. “Are you asking how many boyfriends I’ve had?”
“Sure,” he said, as if he’d not thought the question through. “If you want to share.”
“Proper boyfriends. Three.”
“What’s your definition of a ‘proper boyfriend’?”
“You know, with the actual label. Agreed on, and all that. One guy was only for four months, maybe five actually. But the other two were over a year. The last one, more like three years.”
“Three years? Sounds serious.”
“It was, until it wasn’t. Nothing dramatic happened, but there were just too many things we couldn’t agree on. Big things, like what we wanted the future to look like.”
His slow smile told me Cole thought he had me on something.
“Thought you liked to wait for glimmers? Let the future unfold as it would.”
“On some level, yes. Exactly. But not for the important things that probably should have gotten cleared up much earlier in our dating journey.”
“Like?”
“Like, he was a homebody. I had to drag him away from Cedar Falls kicking and screaming.”
Cole seemed genuinely surprised. “I can’t believe you dated someone for three years who didn’t like to travel.”
“You and me both,” I assured him. “And you?”
“Yes, I do like to travel.”
I rolled my eyes. “Girlfriends, Cole.”
He got a bit more serious. Actually, it was the same look he’d given me when we talked at Mason and Pia’s party. But without glasses, or a shirt for that matter, and a turquoise sea backdrop, it didn’t seem prickish. Just… intense. Thoughtful.
“You really want to know?”
“Yes, I do.” Actually, I really, really wanted to know. His girlfriends. His past. But mostly, what had hurt him so bad he tried too hard to shield this Cole, “new Cole,” from the world.
“Zero.”
I froze. “Zero?”
“Proper girlfriends, as you define them? Yes. Zero.”
“And you’re how old, exactly?”
“Thirty-two.”
Oh dear Lord. I should probably stop asking questions, but this next one was going to slip out of my mouth one way or another.
“And… improper girlfriends? Of the short term, or one-night variety?”
He stared me down. Dared me to keep pushing.
Shit.
“I don’t want to know, do I?”
Sighing, he finally looked away. “No, monella, you don’t.”