23. Celia
Chapter 23
Celia
I barely manage to keep from moaning as sinfully hot water cascades down my back. Showering alone after an eventful morning with three naked men takes an act of God to accomplish, but I manage to keep all of them out of the bathroom long enough to soak in the hot water and wash all the cum and sweat off of my body. If any one of them had slipped into the room behind me, I’m sure I’d have a dick pressed against my ass the whole time I’m washing my hair… until inevitably, he manages to push his cock between my thighs and fuck me against the tile wall.
A familiar ache blooms between my thighs, and I have to ignore the urge to slip my hand between them and take care of business.
I really am sore down there.
My muscles have gotten used to the push and pull of my intense morning workout sessions with Thanatos, but my pussy isn’t on the same page with being stuffed full of throbbing cock every day.
I bite the inside of my cheeks as a wave of desire washes over me, turning my body hot . Taking a quick breath, I turn the water temperature way down and let it cool my heated skin. I’m sure the boys aren’t faring much better, but if they smell even the slightest hint of sex on me, they’ll try to start round two in a heartbeat, and this mama needs a break for at least a few more hours.
Once I’ve turned the water off and toweled myself dry, I slip into a pair of silky pajama shorts and a matching top, complete with an oversized, knit sweater to fight off the morning chill. The sweater falls past my hips and should deter my men from touching the goods underneath… if they have any self control.
I’m not sure they do… but I can’t imagine them any other way.
Funny how the things I used to complain about are now the features I might miss if they suddenly stopped.
By the time I make it into the kitchen, Rebel is attempting to flip a pancake without using a spatula while Ruin stares out the window at the backyard. The willow tree he carved up last night is an eyesore, but I feel better knowing that it can’t mock my failures anymore. It seems silly, letting something as simple as a tree impact me so strongly. I don’t know how I let it go on for so long.
He must see my reflection in the window, because he turns toward me the moment I arrive. The smooth, flat mask that usually covers his face is still broken in half, leaving his mouth and cheeks exposed, but progress has been made between us. I’m not sure how far things will go or if I’ll ever fully understand his reality, but I can try.
I join him at the window and nod toward the scarred willow tree. I watched as Ruin cut the branches off yesterday evening, but the morning light reveals that deep gouges have been scored in its trunk since then. Mist clings to its flesh, making the wounds look wet as they drip with condensation. I hold back a shiver and wonder if that’s what he sees—just another dismembered corpse. “It looks worse than it did yesterday. Did you?—”
“I stabbed it,” Ruin confirms. He taps the windowpane with his fingertips. “So you don’t cry anymore.”
An odd gesture, but it fills my heart with warmth. I take his hand and lace our fingers together. “Thank you.” Ruin’s trying to connect in his own way, so I’ll try, too.
He stares at our joined hands, finally squeezing mine back, and grunts.
Rebel whistles loudly and interrupts our conversation. “Alright, everybody, come get it!” Slapping a plate full of folded and torn pancakes onto the breakfast table, he grins. “Some of my finest work.”
The pancakes are pale and unappealing to look at, but I smile back anyway. He’s trying, too. “Thanks.” I head into the kitchen for the butter and syrup, but he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into his chest.
“Mmmm, good morning, beautiful. Go sit down and I’ll feed you.” He steers me toward the table and kisses my cheek. “Eat up so we can go for another drive today.” Smacking my ass with a smirk, he retreats to grab toppings and utensils. “Rage! Than! Get your asses in here before I feed Celia your breakfast!”
Wait, Thanatos is here, too?
I tell myself not to get nervous about it, but butterflies flutter in my stomach anyway, oblivious to my desires. I hadn’t expected a full family reunion so soon after I?—
Swallowing hard, I fight the flicker of sadness turning every fluttering butterfly into dead weight, dropping them like stones into the pit of my stomach.
So soon after learning I’m not pregnant.
I busy myself with breakfast instead of dwelling, sitting gingerly on my stinging buttcheek and making a plate for Ruin, then for myself. “I didn’t know you cooked, Rebel.” I slide the first plate across the table, and Ruin picks up a plain pancake and shoves it into his mouth. No butter. No syrup. Nothing. He swallows, but it looks difficult. Glancing over my shoulder, I watch as Rebel tries to balance every possible pancake topping from the fridge in his arms. “Let me help?—”
He rushes over and dumps everything onto the table. “I’ve got it.” Once he sits down beside me at the table, he takes my plate, slathers my pancakes in whipped butter and drowns them in syrup, then cuts off a bite with his fork. Holding it up to my lips, he smiles brightly. “Open wide, baby.”
Despite the dry pancake, the syrup makes the food edible. I let Rebel feed me two entire pancakes, licking sticky syrup from my lips while he grabs a third. His hair is still messy from last night, falling into his eyes and making him look boyishly charming. He rolls his snakebite between his teeth as he pours more syrup onto my plate. “Gotta fatten you up,” he murmurs, “so you’re ready for the baby.”
I choke on my glass of milk. “That’s not how it—” The word works dies on my lips as he turns back toward me with the goofiest smile on his face. He’s happy , thinking about our future with the baby .
I can’t take that away from him, no matter how adorably misguided he is about how pregnancy works.
As I chew on my third and final pancake, Rage and Thanatos appear from the garage. Both of them seem tense. “They’ve been strategizing,” Rebel explains, rolling his eyes. “On how to tell Ezra how bad it’s gotten.”
“How bad what’s gotten?”
“The bodies,” Ruin clarifies.
“They found another one last night, near the community college.”
I grab Rebel’s wrist to keep him from shoving another bite in my mouth. “Sara goes there! Is she okay?” I glance at my phone on the kitchen island and wince. I haven’t kept in touch with her at all after Thanatos kidnapped me from my father’s safe house. I’m lucky if she’s still working at my boutique at all. “I need to call her right now?—”
“She’s fine,” Thanatos grouches, rubbing the back of his neck. “I gave her a gun to protect herself.”
My mouth falls open. “You what? You can’t just give a girl a gun!”
He shrugs one shoulder, avoiding look my direction. “I showed her how to use it first.”
I stand from my chair and grab my cell phone. Two dozen missed calls and over one hundred messages. Wincing, I scroll through the phone calls, glad to know that most of them are my brother Mikhail. We haven’t spoken since he showed up at my shop and scared Rage off, but that doesn’t mean he’s let my silence go. If anything, he’s likely more worried that he hasn’t been able to get in touch with me.
“I need to make some calls.” First to Sara, then to my best friend Lilith to let her know I’m not dead in a ditch somewhere, then maybe… to Mikhail. He’s not going to be happy that I’m in a relationship with three men. At least Lilith should be ecstatic for me. She knows how miserable I’ve been since my divorce.
Dick every day keeps the doctor away! she used to say, laughing as she snagged another man to warm her bed at night.
Wait until I tell her that I’m trying for a baby again—that’ll prove her little theory wrong.
“Don’t break anything,” I tell the men, stepping into the living room to place my first call. “No stabbing or punching or shooting. And don’t steal any more of my stuff, Rebel!”
“Only your heart, baby, I promise!”
I can’t help but giggle as even better butterflies flutter in my stomach. Not from nerves, but from giddy excitement. Butterflies , like I’ve got a crush who likes me back. Laughing as I step into my office, I click dial on Sara’s name in my address book, praying that she picks up. When she doesn’t answer, I leave her a five minute voicemail, apologizing for my radio silence and promising to come by the shop soon with a huge bonus for her. Once that’s done, I send Lilith a text and invite her to lunch to explain everything that’s been going on. Thankfully, she immediately fires back a winking kiss-face emoji, followed by an eggplant and a blushing face.
Yeah, we’re still good.
The canvas backpack filled with things from my office sits on my desk, and as I start to unpack it, an idea strikes like lightning. I quickly shoot a text to Valentina, my brother’s girlfriend and the wife of our bratva’s pakhan , to ask if she’s attending the upcoming gala.
I could make the most beautiful dress for her. I already have her measurements from her wedding, and designing another opulent gown will keep my mind off of being targeted by a murderous psychopath.
I’m already sketching the dress in my mind when there’s a knock on my office door. Rage idles in the doorway, wearing one of Ted’s old shirts that he left behind in his office. I crinkle my nose at him, and his mouth curves into a smirk.
“Not my color?”
“Not your style.” Walking over to him, I straighten his already-perfect collar and smooth down the front buttons. The shirt’s a tight fit across his chest, but it should get him from point A to point B without bursting at the seams. When he flexes his arms and the corner stitches bulge, however, I start to rethink that. “Where are you going this time?” I force a smile on my face, but he sees right through me. Things might be better between us, but I haven’t forgotten about everything he’s done. I’m not sure if I’m going to forgive him yet.
But my heart has other ideas.
“Will you miss me, krosotka ?” Planting his hands on my hips, he sighs against the curve of my neck. “I always miss you.” He trails soft kisses up to my jawline, then mouths a sensitive spot that wasn’t there yesterday. I gasp as he nips my skin and sucks, bringing blood to the surface to leave a mark.
“W-what are you doing?” My fingers thread through his hair, holding him in place as pleasure warms deep in my belly.
“Until you let me put a ring on your finger,” he rumbles, “I need to make sure everyone knows that you’re mine. When the baby starts showing, no one will dare touch you, but until then—” Growling, he grabs my ass and pulls me against his body. “I’m going to mark you up, mama, every chance I get.”
My knees shake, and he palms my ass and lifts me off of the floor. Pressing my back to the door, he grins as he claims my mouth in a greedy kiss, grinding his hard length between my thighs. I gasp, and he slips his tongue between my lips, groaning as I kiss him back just as hard.
“Do you have to go?” I bite my swollen lip. “You always leave during the day.” I’ve spent countless hours with Rebel by now, but all of the time I’ve spent with Rage has been in the evenings or with his face buried in my pussy. Neither of which have really allowed me to get to know him beyond how his body feels when pressed against mine.
Regret ripples across his face. “Oh, krosotka , you have no idea how much that—” He presses his forehead to mine and closes his eyes. “How much it means to me that you want me to stay. But I’m trying to keep everyone safe, and I can only do that by putting that bastard into the grave where he belongs.”
I understand it, but I don’t have to like it.
“I’ll wait here for you.” I have work that I need to do, anyways, so staying home will be good for me.
Rage grins and pecks my lips. “That’s my good girl.” He lowers me to the ground, and I follow him to the front door. After giving me one more kiss, he turns to leave again, and my heart trips inside my chest.
“Rage, wait.” My heartbeat hammers like a kick drum as he turns around, a curious gleam in his eye.
“Yes, krosotka ?”
Clearing my throat, I close what little distance remains between us. “Thank you for…” Don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush —my face warms, but so does my stuttering heart. I take his hand and lace our fingers together, wrapping his visible scars around my invisible ones. There are a lot of things I could say to fill the space between us, all of the distance I’ve built when pushing him away over the past few weeks, but before I can summon the right words, his lips curve into a soft, little smile that mirrors my own. Slowly, he dips his head to brush his lips against mine, clutching my hand so tightly that I almost doubt he’ll leave.
I don’t want him to. Not after last night.
“I’ll be back this evening,” he promises, kissing me again. This time, he cradles my jaw and melts into me, pouring whatever words we’ve left unsaid into this one, tender gesture. When he finally pulls back and looks deep into my eyes, I’m reminded of a time when I thought that his were empty pools of black, threatening to swallow me whole. But now I see the warmth hiding in their depths, woven throughout all of the dark, shadowy parts of himself that I was too scared to explore. But where there’s shadow, there’s also light, and the peaceful look on his face rivals the warmth of the sun.
He brushes his thumb across the corner of my lips. “Do me a favor,” he murmurs, “and stay inside today. Lock the door behind me.”
My eyebrows furrow together. “Is something wrong? Like, more than usual? I know Rebel said there was another body?—”
A muscle in his jaw tics. Instead of answering my question, he presses a kiss to my forehead and backs away from me. “Lock the door,” he reminds me, “and don’t go outside no matter what Rebel says to tempt you.”
“Something is wrong.”
“Not for long. I’m taking care of it.”
Thanatos suddenly appears from the dining room holding an empty crystal vase with rotten flower petals stuck to the sides. Curving spirals, jagged and sharp, wrap around the base. It’s the same one I found filled with roses the day someone broke into my home and attacked me.
I wrap my sweater tighter around my body. “Why do you have that?”
“Do you know what this is?” Thanatos isn’t asking me—he’s asking Rage. The cut of his jaw looks sharper than I remember, the dark circles under his eyes more pronounced. Did he get any sleep last night, or was he searching for their father until dawn?
“A vase,” Rage replies, unimpressed. “What about it?”
“This was your mother’s,” Thanatos snaps, slamming the vase to the floor. It shatters around our feet, the heavy base the only piece remaining whole. The remaining pieces skid across the foyer and tumble into the walls, some of the larger pieces sliding beneath the antique grandfather clock in the corner, with the more fragile ones breaking into invisible little slivers that will take days to properly clean up.
As the glass breaks, I cry out in shock and jump back, but I’m not fast enough to avoid getting hit. Blood streaks across the tops of my feet and on the side of one of my ankles. “Ah!” The cuts sting, but it’s nothing compared to the crack of Rage’s fist meeting Thanatos’ jaw.
“What is wrong with you?” Rage snarls, shoving him into the dining room table. “You’ve been a dick all morning. Why show up at all if you’re only going to make things worse?”
Someone lifts me from behind and carries me into the living room, setting me down on the edge of the couch away from the glass. Ruin walks around to my front and kneels at my feet to inspect the damage, careful to remove the remaining shards off of my skin.
“For fuck’s sake,” Rebel huffs, stomping into the dining room after his brothers. “Can’t you two stop measuring each other’s dicks long enough to actually accomplish something? What’s the problem—you missed your little foreplay session this morning and had to beat your meat without any spank bank material? Get a grip!”
Spank bank material?
Embarrassment hits me like a freight train. Ruin disappears to grab the medical kit under the kitchen sink, but as soon as he returns, I grip his shoulders to keep myself from shaking. He doesn’t react, too focused on pouring peroxide on my cuts and wiping them clean to pay attention to the argument brewing in the other room.
But I hear everything loud and clear.
“She asked me to train her,” Thanatos grinds out, his voice pinched like he’s in pain. “So that’s what I’m doing. Training your girl, watching her like a fucking hawk all hours of the day, listening to you guys have sex with her over and over again?—”
I cover my mouth with my hands.
“I never took you for the jealous type,” Rebel sneers, kicking a piece of glass hard enough that it clatters across the hardwood. “But I guess it makes sense. You finally roll back into town and can’t wait for your piece of the pie. Well guess what? I’m not sharing her with someone who can’t control his fucking temper. You hurt her, again , and I’m sure as shit getting tired of it.”
“I’m never meant to?—”
“Rebel’s right,” Rage sighs, sounding exhausted. “You need to apologize. Not just for the vase, but for the things you said to her before.”
There’s a beat of silence between the three of them, and then they all appear from around the corner. Ruin just finished wrapping my feet and both ankles in a bandage, tucking the end neatly inside one of the bands. It’s overkill for the amount of damage taken, but he seems satisfied with the job, idly rubbing his thumbs down the arch of my foot.
I run my hand through his hair, scratching his scalp as he stands up. “Thank you, Ruin.” He slips out of the room without saying a word, but I have no doubt he’s watching from a safe distance.
“Apologize,” Rage demands, pushing Thanatos closer to me.
The oldest brother cuts his gaze to the window, the deep scowl on his lips making him look more like Rage than ever before. Finally, after a few minutes of tense silence, he stares at my feet and unclenches his jaw. “I shouldn’t have thrown the vase.”
I fold my hands in my lap and wait for him to continue.
He flicks his gaze up to mine and winces. “I didn’t mean—I don’t want to hurt you.”
That hasn’t always been the case, but this time, I think he means what he says. “I believe you.”
Some of the tension in his shoulders relaxes. “Thank you.”
Rage doesn’t look pleased, but at least he isn’t as angry as he was five minutes ago. He claps Thanatos on the shoulder and spins him around. “If you hurt her again, intentional or otherwise, I don’t care that you’re my flesh and blood. You’re dead , and she’s going to decide how long we make you suffer. Do you understand?”
Thanatos nods, his mouth pressed into a grim line. “I understand.”
“Don’t you fucking forget it, asshole.”
Rage runs a hand down his face and turns back to me. “You don’t have to forgive him. Hell, you don’t have to forgive me. I’ve been—” He grits his teeth—“ stubborn. Demanding.”
“A dick,” Rebel chimes in, smiling cheekily.
“I have,” Rage admits slowly. “I’ve hurt you, too, and although I don’t regret the things I’ve done to keep you, Celia, I’m—” He kneels at my feet in the same spot Ruin did moments ago. Taking my hands in his, he presses a kiss to each of them. “I’m a better man than I’ve shown you. I will be a better man, for you and for our family.”
I don’t know what to say to him. To any of them. None of this feels real—I could wake up any moment and still be locked inside that cage, cold and angry and afraid?—
Rebel leans over Rage’s shoulder and kisses me, soothing my worries away with practiced ease. “Nothing’s changed, baby, I promise.” He winks, repeating the same turn of phrase he said yesterday when I found out I wasn’t pregnant. Except everything does feel different—like we’re about to step into a new chapter together.
Not just the four of us, but the five of us.
With both Rebel and Rage’s help, I stand up and wrap my arms around Thanatos’ shoulders, lifting up onto my tiptoes to press a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Thank you for the apology.”
Hesitantly, he returns the embrace, holding onto me as though I’m made of glass. Only after I don’t immediately let go does he relax, sighing into my hair as he engulfs my body in his.
I don’t know what the future holds for us, but no matter what happens next, we have one more fierce fighter willing to protect this family at all costs. I never imagined finding hope for the future within the bratva, of all places, especially after my father died, but I’m starting to realize that life with these battered, brutal men might be where I’ve always belonged.