Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
My rage is a quiet ember that bides its time
Shohari
I STOMPED onto the bridge, already hating the conversation I was about to have. “Why the skyk have I got a live long-distance comm?”
Paiata raised his hands in supplication. “Don’t fire on the messenger, Cap. I have no idea. It’s just bad luck. Maybe this shipping lane’s had a comms upgrade.”
“But why her? Why now?”
“Just answer the comm, Captain.”
Inhale. Exhale.
I schooled my features into a slightly smaller scowl as the familiar face came into view on the holoscreen. “Mother. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Her disapproval was palpable even through the few seconds’ lag. “Your demeanor is most unbecoming, Shohari. Is the galaxy robbing you of all sense of decorum?”
I bit the inside of my lip so hard I tasted metal, but I kept my headspines calm. “My apologies.” The familiar, worn thread on my tunic came loose in my fingers. “Is everything okay?”
“But of course. Why ever should it not be?”
Because you’re a cold, manipulative tyrant.
“No reason.” Why did she always make me feel like a sulky child?
Out of sight of the holoscreen, I gouged my claws across my arm, wishing my skin was fragile like Garrison’s so I could draw blood.
The thought of the easygoing human calmed my inner chaos enough to retain control, and I replaced my claws with the memory of his warm, easy touch.
“Your brother has secured another shipment from Maughnis.”
A shudder ran through me. “Very well. Send the details to my comm. This didn’t warrant a call, Mother.”
“Perhaps not, but do I need a reason to speak with my dear daughter?” My lips flattened as she spoke.
“Your cousin Ryich came to call only last week. Such a delightful young male, and with a most promising head for business. His father is friends with Rokharu fei Sinla, as I daresay you know. The widower? Oh, and how could I possibly forget? I have a message from your brother.”
My heart, already beating too fast, clenched. I willed my voice to remain even. “How is he?”
I hated how I’d plead for even a snippet from him, a glimpse into his wellbeing. My gorge rose, and I swallowed around the urge to beg her to let me speak with him.
“He is well enough. He remains very grateful for your continued contributions to his welfare.” Her heartless words were delivered with just enough conceit to provoke me.
My calm is the strength that brings victory.
I forced a relaxed smile. “I am so pleased to hear it. Thank you for letting me know, Mother. Please pass on my affections to him.”
The nebaru-style mantras burned like sigils in my mind’s eye. My serenity is an ocean to quell the flames of tyranny. My rage is a quiet ember that bides its time.
Mother’s headspines jerked for a heartbeat, and I breathed through the urge to smirk. My mother is a pressure pot liable to explode. I’d take the tiny victories.
“You are welcome, daughter.” Her image dematerialised.
I pictured her hand slamming down on her comm-tablet. If she was lucky, it stung.
The holoscreen winked out of existence, a few console lights blinking in sequence, and I let out a shuddering breath, pressing my palms to the tops of my ear ridges.
Inhale. Exhale.
Paiata swung round in his chair, his voice overly measured as he said, “Do you want to tell me what that was about?”
I maintained my absurd breathing exercises, staring him down as he continued cautiously. “I don’t suppose it has anything to do with the additional shipments we’ve been recording in a separate log? Or the higher risks you’re taking, like Anandri?”
Skyk. The last thing I wanted was to reveal my weakness, my pathetic fragments of a plan to save Airida—and myself. But the old pirate didn’t miss much.
“Yes.” I rolled my head, savouring the stretch across my ear ridges. “How long until our destination?”
Paiata didn’t bother checking his screen. “Three hours, Captain.”
“I need a drink and to get refreshments for our guests.”
Kheh, my crew deserved to know. I couldn’t say nothing. “I’ll call a meeting after our first drop-off.”
He tilted his head. “You know I can do these things, Captain. We’re on a steady course, and it’s a bit odd when you’re not bossing us around.”
“This frustration is not yours to bear, and I could do with moving. Feel free to do the same.”
“Aye, Cap.”
The walls of the Dorimisa felt closer than ever as I headed to the galley, as though squeezing me down a path not entirely of my choosing. Much as I hated hearing from Mother, I didn’t dare ignore her veiled threats to me or Airida.
I kept my breathing steady, but I couldn’t control the nausea or the frantic jittering in my chest.
The human was a distraction and one I could ill afford.
I had to protect my brother at all costs, and that meant maximising profit and proving my worth. It was all that mattered, all I was allowed to want.
Garrison
I HEADED off in search of water. There couldn’t be too many more places on the ship. But as I walked past the bridge, terse voices carried through the door.
I knew I shouldn’t, but I paused.
“I have a message from your brother.”
“How is he?”
“He is well enough. He remains very grateful for your continued contributions to his welfare.”
“I am so pleased to hear it. Thank you for letting me know, Mother. Please pass on my affections to him.”
I frowned. The formal, stilted conversation didn’t sound anything like the Shohari I was getting to know. Not that I knew the captain very well yet, but what I did know? She was brusque and irritable—and real. This was restrained and false, and the unsettling edge of it writhed in my gut.
I crept past the bridge, my agitation receding as I turned down another narrow corridor, drawn by the faint whiff of food. Sure enough, a bulkhead door slid open as I approached, the control panel flashing with colourful lights and emitting a soft trill.
The Dorimisa’s mess hall was far more spacious than I’d expected.
Long, metal counters looped round the far end, and I weaved between the table and a worn but plush red sofa thoroughly inconsistent with the utilitarian metal of everything else.
A drinks machine perched on a near countertop, the same brand as in the guest quarters on Draim Station.
I couldn’t help but grin. Look at me being all worldly—galaxly? —already.
Helping myself might not have been the right thing to do, but Shohari had said she’d show us, and then we’d gotten… distracted. And now she had more important things going on. She didn’t need to deal with wilting human cargo herself.
I drew myself a cup of chrya. The others might have preferred the coffee-like neka tea, but I’d grown fond of the herbal sweetness served with galaxy standard mystery-milk.
None of us asked what it was made of, or what animal it might come from; the translator told us it was milk, my brain told me it was from a cow, and that was all I needed to know. That, and it hit the spot.
The hot beverage coated my throat as it slid down, firing up my taste buds and gifting me a moment of calming familiarity. Eyes closed, I could have been anywhere, but it was enough to be here. Could I anchor myself to a cup of tea?
Of course I could. Nan would have been proud.
I leaned against the counter, the metal cool through my shirt, and I tipped my head back. My shoulders softened, my breath easing out in a lazy exhale.
“Making yourself at home, cargo?”
I stood to attention instinctively, but the prickly captain no longer made me wary. She might grouse about having us here, but unless something serious went down, she struck me as all bark and no bite.
“’Fraid so, Captain. Would you like a brew?”
My throat itched with the need to offer my support, but it wasn’t appropriate. Like she’d want my help anyway. So I offered tea—hopefully it was a universal language.
She tilted her head. “Chrya. Extra milk. And sugar.”
I grinned. “I pegged you as a neka girl, Shohari.”
“And I pegged you”—she looked me up and down—“as less insolent, human. I don’t need more bitterness in my life. Chrya now, please.” As if realising what she’d said, she glanced away, fiddling with the hem of her tunic.
“Aye, Cap.” I turned lazily, scanning the supplies while I made her drink.
“If you promise to keep things tidy, the other humans can come here for refreshments too,” she offered after a few minutes’ comfortable silence, and I nodded, staying quiet until the second cup was in my hands.
I crossed the distance between us and handed the mug to her with an open smile. When she took it, her clawed fingers brushed mine, sending a shiver through me.
Beneath her bristly exterior, there was a vulnerability to Shohari that made me want to peel back her defenses and find what made her tick. I wanted to know why things were so fraught with her mother and smooth them over—or kick some arse—until the tension drained out of her.
“Are you vaccinated?” she said.
What train of thought led to that? “As a child, of course.”
She jerked away from me, her voice sharpening. “You didn’t get any when you were captured?”
Shit. Space vaccines? “No. The Reserve didn’t know what to do with us once they realised who and what we were. We were put in quarantine for a bit, but that’s it.” I drained my drink, putting the cup in the dishwasher before spreading my arms wide. “Promise I’m not diseased or anything.”
“Not now. But the galaxy is a big place.” She took a long swig of chrya, and the strain in her features softened a fraction.
“After I’ve dropped you humans off, one of my next destinations is Maughnis.
They sell the finest, softest leather you’ll ever feel and a much sought-after silver alloy.
” She stroked her midnight blue tunic across the curve of her hip.
“Even though I know I’ve got immunity, I’m still going to medbay to check. ”
She grimaced and turned to the small window, where the shipping lane traffic gave way to a backdrop of stars.
“There was a war. Long before I was born. The maughni are essentially poisonous to other species. The male pheromones send females of other species into an insatiable lust that’s all-consuming.
” She wrinkled her flat nose. “The only cure is sex with a maughni male. It was traumatic for all involved.”
My brows rose, but I swallowed my ‘you’re kidding me’ retort. If that was true, it was hideous.
“They’re much, much bigger than us.” She shivered, and so did I. No way was I considering the implications of that.
“What about guys attracted to guys, or women attracted to women? Are they still affected?”
“I don’t know. But there’s a vaccine now.
They weren’t able to devise a medical cure.
” Tension stiffened her shoulders again and I gestured at the cup in her hands.
She smiled softly, taking another sip. “Maughni don’t travel the galaxy often.
There’s a lot more to the story, and they carry a lot of generational trauma, I believe.
It’s a great honour to be invited to visit them in order to trade.
And while the vaccine is one hundred percent effective, I still get nervous about going there. ”
“Understandable. Are these vaccines all for things like that, then?”
“No. Mostly for sicknesses.”
“I thought viruses can’t usually cross species?”
She rolled her head in what must’ve been a shrug. “Some must do. Interbreeding, mutations from odd nebulae fields, someone’s distorted plasma ray. Who knows why?”
Right.
“Thanks. How do we get them?” The idea of coming all this way, only to be taken out by some space virus or primal mind control was depressing.
“AnimaCorp has an extensive medical facility, so we’ll go there.” She paused, amethyst eyes dropping back to the window. “I got them as an adult too, just before I got my ship.”
I sensed there was a story there, but she didn’t offer anything more, and I didn’t press. “Careful, Captain, I’m about to say that’s very kind and thoughtful of you.”
She snorted, the spines on her head ruffling in a wave, but I spied a tiny curl at the far corners of her mouth. “I don’t want diseased cargo.”
“Potato, potahto. How many credits will it be?” We didn’t have much left after passage, and that was for getting us set up—wherever that might be.
The muscles around her eyes tightened, tipping her crystalline orbs up in a ‘give me strength’ gesture that appeared so very human. “I do not remember. But I’ll work something out. Let’s get your friends.”