Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
My resolve is the wisdom of my ancestors
Shohari
THE OBNOXIOUSLY orange gas giant taunted me through the holo-enhanced bridge window. Even at this distance, its distinctive yellow stripe curved like a smile. How dare it smirk at me? How dare it look proud to hold that green-blue moon in its orbit? Vadias would soon take my alien away from me.
My throat convulsed in a thick swallow. He would have a home, and he would be safe. He would be able to make a life for himself. Those were the things he needed, the things he deserved.
Bitterness stabbed through me. I enjoyed having Garrison in my bed too much. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d woken up with a liaison partner, but two mornings now, I’d woken to his warm presence, and it felt a little too comfortable.
It was selfish not to want him to go—and dangerous. I didn’t know what the beginnings of a soulbond felt like, but I could imagine they started like this. The tingles in the spines. The strength in my bones when he was near.
Unlikely though it was that a bond could form with a human, the risk was too great. The threat of being mated to Rokharu was all too real. To be mated to one and soulbound to another? If the pain didn’t kill me, it would drive me to madness.
I sucked in a shuddering breath. It was for the best he was leaving. I couldn’t afford to entertain any other possibility.
Like keeping him.
I was doing the right thing, so why did my bones feel like they were being crushed?
My fingers flicked the control panel, shooing the enhanced image away, and the planet returned to a glowing orange orb in the dark sky.
“Paiata, anything to report?” I needed something, anything, to distract myself.
“I’d have told you earlier, Cap, but you were busy. News from Kimivah.”
My family’s steward had been more like a father to me than both my parents combined. I dug my claws into my palms. “Useful? Summarise.”
“Both madames are caught up in their feud. He suggests your mother is ‘consumed with a specific undertaking to which she diverts significant funds’… Your father may be neglecting your brother—his valet says his health is getting worse.”
My gut clenched.
“The rivalry is getting out of hand. ‘Each of them have received citations for conduct unbecoming of a Madame of Status, for which they both blame the other.’ Your name gets mentioned a notable amount, and he worries what it might mean.”
I flexed my fingers and bent them again, watching my knuckle spines pale. “I trust Kimivah. Is there anything else?”
Paiata grunted, whether in agreement or not I couldn’t tell.
“There’s got to be something we can do. Some information we can use.” I thumped my fist on the console, rattling the collection of empty mugs. “I can’t let Airida suffer more than he already is.”
It was one thing bearing my own burden, but knowing even with the credits I sent back he wasn’t being properly cared for?
“Cap, sometimes I think it’ll never be enough for you.”
I growled, headspines quivering. “What do you mean?”
Paiata spoke in a careful, measured tone. “Just that you seem to want a plan to be perfect. It will never be perfect. From what you’ve said, you’ve saved more than enough credits to hire some mercenaries. We can break him out of there.”
Another growl reverberated in my chest. “I get one chance at this. If I try and fail, I’ll be mated off to old Rokharu and lose the Dorimisa. I’ll never get another chance.”
Now I had a taste of what having a mate could be like, even without a soulbond, the thought of marrying into another wealthy Orithian family was even more repulsive than ever. And yet, unless I got this right, it was the exact future my parents had planned for me.
I kicked back against the console, spinning my chair, and stomped to the window.
The timings were all skykked. Why couldn’t my awful mother and her equally awful neighbour let their feud simmer a few more years until I was ready?
Why couldn’t I have met Garrison a few years in the future when I was more likely to be free?
I stared out at the pale, glowing band of stars spread beyond the pane.
The Ancestors, we called it, though my crew preferred the Orkri term Bone Bridge.
And humans called it a Milk Way? My smile was faint, tinged with a familiar heaviness in my chest. What would the ancestors say to me if they could speak across the stars?
Probably that it was better to enjoy a few days and fly away with my heart and soul intact.
Wise elders. “How long until our destination?”
“A couple of hours at the current rate. Very leisurely, you said.”
“You may as well speed up. Let’s get this done.” I needed a miracle, but Vadias wasn’t the place for those. Nowhere was.