Chapter 41
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Orbiting
Shohari
WE ORBITED Orkri that night. It was too late in the Orithian day to go straight there, and I wanted to give Madame dai Yakri time to do as she’d assured me she would.
Time to catch my breath.
We could have docked with the pod we’d leave the ydouir at, but I didn’t want to be tethered. Not when there was a real chance I could be tethered to Orith permanently tomorrow.
When I entered the galley, Garrison was in deep discussion with Muzati and Coerril. Before they could notice me, I stopped in the doorway to watch.
His shoulders were slumped, but he spoke, and I thought I saw determination there. He snapped at something Coerril said, and I wanted to yank him away, stop her from upsetting him. As the females took over the conversation, he relaxed, a small smile gracing his lips.
Jealousy stabbed at me. He hadn’t acted quite as detached in the last few days, but I hadn’t seen this easy side of him either. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.
Unless it didn’t go to plan, and then this evening was all we had.
I kept a steady pace as I entered the room. I wasn’t surprised to see him tense when he saw me, but it hurt all the same.
Then he looked at me, really looked, and gave me a slow, easy smile. “You all ready, sweetheart?”
I rocked on my heels. Ground my claws into the deck. Breathed in his sweetheart like it was everything I needed.
He straightened, standing in a swift, decisive movement, and paced towards me. Without words, he pulled me to him and surrounded me with his arms.
I froze. This wasn’t real. Was it?
He nuzzled the side of my face, and I melted into him, biting back the howl that threatened to escape. All this time we could have had, and I’d squandered it.
Wrapped up in his gentle heat, I forgot every good reason for not doing this.
Garrison stroked my headspines, over and over, a tender, reassuring thing. “It’s okay, Sho. We’re nearly there now.”
When I opened my eyes, Orith glowered at me through the window. I didn’t want to see it.
My hands tightened around him, and I turned away, drank in the sight of my human instead. His brown eyes. All that skin on his cheeks. His small, delicious mouth.
“Careful, Shohari. When you look at me like that, I think you want to kiss me.”
I knew I looked pathetic, but I didn’t care. “When you look at me like that, I want to, mitsha.” I put my arms around his waist, hands resting on his lower back.
“But you won’t.” There was no judgement in his tone.
I sniffed a laugh and slid my hands under his shirt. Skyk it. “You’re not always right, human.”
A smile—a rich dawn shaping a darkened sky—lit Garrison’s face, and it was the brightest thing in the room. He rested his forehead against mine. “Prove it, kri’ith.”
His pronunciation was perfect. Why that, of all things, tipped the balance, I didn’t know. My cheek muscles stretched in their first real smile for what felt like a lifetime, and I brushed my lips over his in a whisper.
His answering kiss was featherlight. “Let me take you to bed, sweetheart.”
We moved for the door, not wanting to let each other go, but stopped at a soft howl from across the room.
Muzati thumped her chest. “Sorry,” she said, her voice overly bright. “That wasn’t me. Must have been Coerril. Who knew ydouir make that sound too?”
“Be quiet. You are ridiculous.” The winged female turned from Muzati to us. “Go. I will look after this ridiculous one.” She put one arm around Muzati’s narrow shoulders, her tail coiling round her calf.
The light above them flickered, and I tipped my eyes to the gods. “Don’t get so excited you break my ship, ydouir.”
She flashed me a sharp smile. “Your ship? What about your engineer?”
“She can look after herself. Do your worst. But if you have to stay in here, put a blanket on my sofa, for the love of the gods.”
Their giggles followed us out of the galley.
IN OUR BERTH, Garrison took my hands in his. “Comnica, dim the light.”
When had Muzati patched him in as crew?
He guided me to the bed, sat me down on the edge.
Sat down next to me. Took a deep breath.
“I know your reasons for keeping me at arm’s length, and the last thing I want is for you to be in that impossible position.
But all I see is you digging yourself a deeper hole, and I can’t watch you do that anymore. ”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he ploughed on.
“I don’t plan on dying tomorrow. But I might, and I don’t want to never tell you this, and”—he gulped—“one day can’t make a difference.
I hope.” His eyes shimmered with moisture.
“You need to know how amazing and beautiful you are, Sho. And if anything I do is going to help you get through this, it’s not me keeping my distance. ”
My mouth hung open. My Garrison was back with all of the force he’d swept into my life with. I should have been terrified, but there was only exhilaration thrumming through every fibre of my being. “Tell me what?”
He stroked my cheek, dark eyes holding me in their thrall. “Shohari, I’m in love with you.”
I couldn’t breathe.
His intensity dissolved into a smile. His shoulders relaxed, and he traced my cheek with a thumb. “God, it feels good to say it. You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know.”
I stalled. My brain rebooted. But I didn’t need my brain to tell me how to interpret the warmth in my chest, my belly. In my bones.
My lips told him things they couldn’t say with words. My tongue tangled with his, and my heart broke for all the kisses we could have had until I was swept away, and all I could taste was Garrison.
We broke apart, panting.
“We’re going to win, sweetheart,” he murmured against my lips. “We’re going to get your brother out of there.”
I believed him. “Stay with Coerril,” I said.
Gods, that came out wrong.
I gulped a breath. “I can’t ask you to risk yourself for me. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
His calm, understanding gaze didn’t waver. “And what is my love worth if I’m not prepared to die for you?”
A growl rumbled up from deep in my bones, and I threw him to the bed.