Chapter 21 #4
“Then let that shit go. Her thoughts don’t fucking matter. Her words can’t hurt you if they’re not true. Them shits can’t break you and they damn sure don’t define you.”
“I want her to understand who I am and for her to see me.” Samari handed over a confession she had never spoken aloud to anyone before. She felt safe exposing her insecurities to Asao.
“I get that and I can’t tell you not to care but I can tell you that what you want doesn’t matter if she’s too selfish to meet you where you are. Honestly, if she won’t she doesn’t deserve any part of you, aight?”
Samari pushed down the emotions clouding her mood.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, baby. The only responsibility you have is telling me what keeps you grounded so I can make sure it’s done.
If what you need is action, then put that demand on me and let me show you how solid I am.
Because I’m gonna step behind you every time.
My name is on you, Mari, that means I’ve got you. ”
Determined not to let her mother steal any more of her joy, she smiled and placed her hand on his neck, using her words to shift the energy. “If your name is on me, maybe mine should be on you.” She brushed her fingers over his neck and Asao smirked.
“Don’t act like you don’t know what type of time I’m on,” he said before his mouth was on hers. They were locked in. If she wanted to see her name inked on his skin, she could get that.
“Whatever…” Samari playfully rolled her eyes and Asao didn’t bother delivering confirmation. She would see how he got down through his actions.
“My pops came home today.”
“Oh wow, how did that go?”
Asao smirked. “Good. I got him right, then dropped him at the crib to see my mom. I dipped on them though because they have a lot of shit to discuss and time to make up for.”
“That’s sweet but you didn’t want to stay?”
“Nah, that’s not sweet. That’s me staying out of grown folks’ business. I’m not trying to think about how they’re making up for that time, so it was best for me to take my ass home, but we’re going to pull up later to check them out.”
She tensed. “You want me to meet your parents?”
“You want your name on me, so yeah, man. You need to meet them.”
“Okay.”
“You sure?
“Yep, we can do that.”
He nodded. “Aight, you good now?”
“Yes.” Samari’s mouth brushed over his. “Dom sent my track list.”
“You listen to it?”
“Some of it.”
“You gonna play it for me?”
“You haven’t heard it yet?” She narrowed her eyes on his face.
“He might have sent them, but I had a three-hour drive there and back. I haven’t had time to check.
Play it for me,” he demanded and she leaned back, pressing a hand on his chest to balance herself so she wouldn’t fall when she reached for the remote and her phone.
She decided to go back to the beginning and let the tracks play, watching Asao’s reaction as she bobbed his head to each one.
When the third song began and his intro played, she smirked. “That’s not how I remember recording this.”
“’Cause it’s not. You want me to change it back?”
She shook her head and they listened to the rest of the track.
She sang along and rapped his verse while Asao watched her, feeling content.
This was the woman she should be. Happy and in her element.
With each smile that found its way onto her face, Asao made a vow to provide a reason for a million more.
After the final track ended, his attention was locked on her. “What you think?”
“I like it but, I don’t know.” He sensed the hesitation.
“Why don’t you know?” His question had her brows dipping inward.
“Because I’m the artist. I create the music. How it’s delivered to the world is not really my lane.”
“But it is though,” Asao assured her. “Those words are yours. You have a story to tell and that changes based on how you organize the words. We can tell you what we think from a business perspective but you have to go with what you feel. You’re connected to the music.
Your feelings, your emotions are what make it what it is.
Your connection is gonna sell that shit. So what do you think?”
She tucked her lip inward while she thought about it. “I want ‘Nothing and No One’ to be the last track before the one with Fyre.”
“Aight, why though?” he asked, keeping his eyes locked on her face.
“I just do.” She shrugged.
“Nah, that isn’t good enough. Tell me why.”
“You said it’s my decision, right?” she frowned.
“Yeah, it’s all you but I still want to know why.”
“Because the songs are about us, the stages of us, and when I wrote ‘Nothing and No One’ was when I decided I’m trusting you with me.
Nothing and no one can break that unless I allow it to.
That’s where we are, the space we’re currently in, so it should be last.” After her confession, she stared at Asao who didn’t speak right away which made her anxious.
When his hand made it to her face and his thumb brushed over her cheek seconds before he kissed her, she relaxed.
He spoke against her lips after the kiss.
“I already knew that shit. I just needed you to say it so you’ll stop getting in your own way.”
She grinned and rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”
Samari was accepting the man Asao wanted to be in her life while making a promise to give the same in return.