Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Imogene
“Are you feeling more rested?” Mom asked later that afternoon when I finally emerged from my room and into the kitchen.
If it were up to me, I would have stayed in my bed all day, curled up in a ball as I attempted to make sense out of everything I learned. But that would only make her more suspicious. Would only cause her to ask questions I wasn’t ready to answer.
I doubted I’d ever be.
“A little,” I lied.
In reality, I hadn’t slept a wink. How could I?My mind was consumed with thoughts and questions about Samuel and why he kept the truth from me.
“I’m about to whip up some of my strawberry shortcake cookies.” She opened the cupboard door, pulling out the items she needed. “Want to help?”
“Actually, I’m thinking about going for a hike up Stone Mountain.”
She dropped the armful of ingredients onto the island, her eyes narrowing on me. “Are you sure you’re okay? Just yesterday, you told me how horrible you felt for accusing Gideon of being Sam. And now, after spending the night with him, you want to hike to one of your and Sam’s favorite spots?”
If anyone would put two and two together, it was my mom. But I needed some fresh air. Needed to go somewhere with no distractions. Somewhere quiet. Peaceful. Where I could sort through my thoughts and feelings.
“I can’t pretend he never existed.”
“No one is asking you to.” Approaching me, she ran her hands down my arms. “Just don’t let this stand in the way of what you might have with Gideon. I did the same thing with Lachlan and almost lost him. Well, not the same thing, but I kept letting the past control me. I don’t want you to make the same mistake.”
Twenty-four hours ago, I would have promised I wouldn’t.
That was before I learned my past was my present.
“I won’t be long. Can I borrow your car?”
“Of course.”
“Thanks.”
I headed toward the refrigerator and filled up my water bottle. After grabbing a few protein bars from the cupboard and throwing them in my bag, I kissed my mom’s cheek, then slipped out of the house and into her silver SUV, making the thirty-minute trek out of the city.
Despite having often hiked the trail up Stone Mountain with Samuel, being out here allowed me to think. No electronics. No distractions. Just me and nature. Plus, the view from the top couldn’t be beat. While I preferred it around sunrise or sunset, it was still beautiful, especially on a clear day like today, the Atlanta skyline sprawled out in the distance.
Once I reached the top of the summit after the relatively easy mile-long hike, I sat close to the ledge and sipped on my water.
I hadn’t been up here in years.
Not since my birthday five years ago.
This was where the last clue of the scavenger hunt Samuel organized for me led.
A bittersweet smile tipped on my lips as memories of exploring the city through Samuel’s carefully planned clues flooded back. Some of them were more challenging than others, but this one didn’t require even a moment’s thought on my part. I knew where to go the second I read it.
Where love happened.
This was the exact spot where Samuel told me he loved me for the first time.
And five years ago, this was where he told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. That he was ready to tell Liam the truth.
How did I react? By panicking. Telling him I needed more time.
For years, I’d regretted the way I responded. Wished I’d told him I was ready. That I wanted him and only him.
After investigators found his car and he was presumed dead, I would have given anything to have another chance with him. For him to still be alive.
Well, I got my wish.
I just didn’t expect it to be like this, tainted with lies and manipulation.
“This will always be my favorite view in the city,” a familiar voice mused, cutting through my memories.
I jumped to my feet, sucking in a sharp breath when I saw Gideon standing mere inches away.
Or was he Samuel?
Right now, wearing a white t-shirt, gray shorts, and sneakers, he looked more like Samuel. He was even wearing a hat.
It was a stark contrast to the sophisticated man who I let have me for breakfast this morning.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded, pushing down the bile rising in my throat from the reminder of his deception. His betrayal. Then I noticed the bandages wrapped around his hands. “What happened?”
“Got into a fight with a mirror,” he replied with a hint of humor. “If you think this is bad, you should see the other guy.”
Samuel would have said something like this. He always had an amazing ability to make light of stressful situations. It was one of the things I loved about him.
But I wasn’t sure how to reconcile that Samuel with the man standing in front of me.
“How did you know I’d be here? Are you having me followed?” I crossed my arms in front of my stomach.
“I don’t need to have you followed to know you’d want to come here. I know you , Imogene. That’s enough.”
“That makes one of us,” I scoffed. “I have no idea who the hell you are. How you could have lied to me like this.”
“Which is why I’m here.”
“I don’t know how you expected—” I stopped short when his words finally registered, my mouth snapping closed. “It is?” I furrowed my brows.
“Yes.” He stepped toward me.
Unlike this morning, I didn’t back up. Instead, I allowed myself to get lost in his eyes.
Samuel’s eyes.
They seemed familiar the first time I saw them in the morning light. There was something about the atmosphere that day as I ran along the beach. Almost like I could feel his presence.
Truthfully, I’d felt as if Samuel were watching over me for a while now.
I guess he was.
“Was any of it real?” I choked out, my question leaving me before I could stop it.
“What do you mean?”
“Us.” I gestured between our two bodies. “This.” I swallowed hard, emotion tightening my throat. My chest. My soul. “Was any of it real?”
He averted his gaze. “I didn’t want it to be.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, my heart aching from his frigid tone.
“But hindsight’s always twenty-twenty.”
I snapped my gaze back to him as he took another timid step toward me.
“I may have had my reasons for doing the things I have, but I meant what I told you the other night. I’m falling for you. And not as Sam, but as Gideon. After the things I was forced to endure…”
The muscles in his face tightened, his expression anguished. He closed his eyes, taking several moments to collect himself. When he returned them to mine, they were filled with so much pain.
“I didn’t think I’d ever feel anything but anger. Hate. Rage. For years, my anger was the only thing that helped me survive. But with you…” Tentatively, he reached for my hand.
This time, I didn’t recoil from him. Instead, I relished in the feel of his skin on mine, despite the confusion still plaguing me.
“You make it not hurt as much, Imogene. I’m begging you to give me a chance to explain. After that, if you never want to see me again, I’ll understand. But don’t push me away before you know the truth. I want you to know the truth, despite what my actions may have led you to believe.”
Since learning who he was, I’d wanted answers. Wanted to know how he could have been alive when the world thought he was dead. Wanted to know how he could lie to me.
Wanted to know who was responsible for turning the man I once loved into someone I barely recognized.
I couldn’t shake the feeling I wasn’t going to like those answers.
But I needed closure. I’d never truly be able to move on from this with hundreds of questions left unresolved.
“Okay. I’ll listen.”
He pushed out a relieved breath as his lips curved into a small smile that reminded me so much of Samuel it ached. “Thank you, Imogene.”