Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Gideon
“Poisoned?” I repeated, a mixture of anger and despair twisting my insides. The lump in my throat felt like a boulder, making it nearly impossible to breathe. “There must be some mistake. How?—”
“It’s fairly common,” Dr. Albright, the veterinarian at a nearby emergency clinic, informed me with a sympathetic look. “All it takes is for a dog to mistake a puddle on the driveway for water, but in reality, it’s antifreeze.”
“I don’t even own antifreeze,” Imogene interjected, her voice strained.
Over the past several hours, I’d never seen her cry so damn much.
It made me wonder if this was how she reacted when she’d learned about my supposed death.
It was probably ten times worse.
“And Ollie’s never been allowed in the garage,” Imogene continued, desperation creeping into her voice. As if that would change what happened to Ollie. “He stays in the house, except when I take him for a walk.”
“At Ollie’s weight, it wouldn’t have taken more than a few tablespoons for the toxins to do some serious damage. He could have consumed that in a small puddle he thought was water.”
“Is there something you can give him?” I demanded, digging my fingers through my hair. “An…an antidote. Something? Anything?” I pleaded with her.
“There was.”
“Was?” My throat closed up.
“If he was brought in immediately after ingesting the antifreeze, we could have given him something to counteract the effects. But that antidote has a very short window of effectiveness, especially with the levels of poison found in Ollie’s bloodstream. With the way the body responds to ethylene glycol, you may not know your dog has ingested it until a day or two later. Dogs may be lethargic at first, then they’ll eventually recover, making you think nothing’s wrong. Which is when the poison is doing irreversible damage.”
“Irreversible?” Imogene squeaked out, her panicked eyes looking between the vet and me. “What does that mean?”
“The poison has attacked his kidney.” She turned her laptop toward us, displaying two x-rays, side-by-side. “This is what a normal kidney looks like.” She circled the organ on one of the x-rays. “And this is the current condition of Ollie’s kidney.” She pointed to the same location on the other x-ray.
The differences were glaringly obvious. Ollie’s kidney was easily double the size of a normal one, and my heart ached with what he was enduring right now.
“Have you noticed him struggling to relieve himself?” she asked.
“I was at work,” Imogene answered. “My pet sitter said he didn’t seem interested in eating, but…” She trailed off, her emotions overtaking her again before she choked out, “I thought it was just because he’s getting older and slowing down a bit.”
“It’s not your fault.” I wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head, inhaling her familiar scent of coconut and pineapple before addressing the vet. “What can we do? Where do we go from here?”
“I have him on morphine right now to control the pain. At this point, the main concern is quality of life.” She hesitated, pinching her lips into a tight line as a look of sympathy crossed her expression. “I’m sorry to say that there’s just no quality of life left for poor Ollie. The longer the poison has time to wreak havoc on his system, the more damage it will do and the more pain it will cause him. The humane thing would be?—”
“To let him go,” I finished, unsure how I was even able to say the words through the ache consuming me.
Imogene clutched me even tighter, her tears moistening my t-shirt.
“I wish there was something more I could do for your sweet boy, but there isn’t. The poison has already caused too much damage for his little body to handle. I can have Ollie brought into another room so you can spend some time with him.”
I drew in a deep breath and nodded, my heart heavy. “Thank you.”
“Of course. And again, I’m sorry.” She offered one last sympathetic smile, then slipped into the hallway, closing the door behind her.
“It’s all my fault,” Imogene sobbed the second we were alone. “I wasn’t there for him. How did he even?—”
“It is not your fault.” I cupped her cheeks and forced her eyes to mine, needing her to see the truth in my words. “You did more for that sweet dog than anyone else.” I swallowed hard, my own emotions betraying me. “You gave him a home when I couldn’t anymore.”
“He was all I had left of you.” Her voice caught, the raw pain in her words almost more than I could handle. “I couldn’t lose him, too.”
“He’s had thirteen amazing years, Imogene. Dogs don’t live nearly long enough. I wish they did. If I could trade my life for his, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But I can’t. It’s just… It’s his time.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, her body trembling through her sobs. It was taking everything I had not to break down with her. I wanted to. Wanted to punch and scream and yell and curse whoever did this to my sweet, innocent boy. He didn’t deserve this. He deserved to run after seagulls on the beach in the morning. Deserved to be spoiled with all the pup cups from The Daily Grind he could stomach. Deserved to chase tennis balls in the ocean.
Not be poisoned.
A knock sounded on the door, and Imogene pulled away from me, wiping her cheeks as a petite woman in navy blue scrubs walked in.
“I can show you to the comfort suite, if you’re ready.”
I doubted we’d ever be ready to say goodbye to Ollie, but I stood anyway, helping Imogene to her feet. “Thank you.”
I kept my arm wrapped around her as we followed the woman into another room, this one a stark contrast to the sterile exam room we were just in, the lighting low and the walls painted in muted grays. Soft music played, a candle lit on a nearby table giving the space a calming atmosphere. And in the middle lay Ollie on an oversized dog bed with a shaved patch of skin on his belly and arm, an IV attached.
His eyes were open, but there was no spark left in them. Every so often, a faint whimper escaped his throat, a heartbreaking sound that made my chest squeeze.
“You can take as long as you’d like,” the vet tech said. “When you’re ready, press this and we’ll come in.” She gestured to a small button by the door.
“Thank you.”
With a subtle nod, she retreated, leaving us alone with Ollie.
“Do you mind if I have a minute with him?” I met Imogene’s red-rimmed eyes. “You can stay,” I added quickly. “I just wouldn’t mind telling him a few things, if you’re okay with it.”
“Of course,” she replied, her chin trembling. “He was your dog first.”
I gave her hand a gentle squeeze before releasing her and lowering myself next to Ollie, wrapping my fingers around his paw.
Resting my forehead on his, I breathed in his familiar scent. It killed me to keep my distance for the past year. Every time I saw him with Imogene, I wanted nothing more than to go up to him. Now I regretted that I didn’t. I’d never get that time back.
“Hey, boy,” I murmured, scratching the spot behind his ears he always loved. But today, he barely acknowledged it. “I know you hurt, so I won’t make you suffer much longer. I just wanted to thank you for being there for your mama when I couldn’t. For taking care of her all these years. I’ll never be able to repay you for looking out for her. You were the best boy ever, and I’m sorry we couldn’t have more time together. I thought…” I licked my lips, shaking my head.
“I don’t know what I thought, to be honest. Maybe that once this was all over, things could go back to the way they were. I’m sorry I took you for granted.” I stole a glimpse at Imogene, her tears falling even harder now. But she still managed to meet my gaze. “Both of you.” I held her stare, then pressed my forehead to Ollie’s once more.
“I’ll never forget you,” I whispered, hating that this would be the last time I’d ever feel his soft fur. Ever hear his gentle breathing. Ever smell his awful breath. “I love you, buddy. Now have fun chasing all the seagulls over the rainbow bridge.” I held him for a few more moments, fighting back my tears. Then I gave him one last kiss before standing.
As Imogene approached, I started to step away, but she darted out her hand, pulling me back down to the floor beside her. Wrapping her arms around Ollie’s frail body, she pressed her face into his fur.
“Thanks for everything, buddy,” she strained to say. “For always knowing when I was having a bad day. For always being there for me. For making it easier when I missed him so damn much I didn’t think I’d survive.”
I pinched my lips together to stop my chin from quivering, a few tears finally escaping.
“But we got through it together. I’m going to miss having you shower me with kisses whenever I get home, even if I was only gone a few minutes. Going to miss watching you try to run after seagulls, even though we both know you’re never going to catch one. I’m even going to miss your stinky farts after I let you eat a burger.”
“Those were always the worst,” I remarked with a low chuckle, remembering that all too well.
“Yes, they were.” She laughed through her tears, wiping at her cheeks. Then she returned her attention to Ollie, her expression becoming pained once more. “But most of all, I’m going to miss your love. It was…”
She shook her head, as if searching for the right word. Then she glanced my way, holding my gaze captive.
“Unconditional. A love like that…It doesn’t happen often. Thank you for showing me what that was like.”
She reached for my hand, our fingers interlocking.
And that was how they stayed as we spent a few more minutes with Ollie.
As we said our final goodbyes.
As we watched him take his last breath.