Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Imogene
The ocean churned beneath me as I bobbed up and down on my surfboard, the darkness of the predawn hours surrounding me like a cocoon. After last night, I needed to come out here. Needed to think. Needed to figure out what to do about Gideon—Samuel.
He’d killed Alton.
And he planned to kill James and Liam, too.
What they did to him was horrible, but could I just stay quiet, knowing what he planned to do? Wouldn’t that make me just as culpable?
I’d struggled with this same thing when my sperm donor kidnapped me. For three horrific days, I was forced to watch him brutally torture and kill several women.
And I did nothing to stop him, too paralyzed by fear and trauma.
The guilt over that plagued me for years.
Hell, it still plagued me.
Could I stand having even more blood on my hands?
I’d hoped coming out here before the sun rose would offer me some sort of clarity. It didn’t.
Especially since Gideon currently sat watch from his usual spot at The Daily Grind.
It was the only way he’d let me surf this morning, too concerned about what Liam might do.
It was endearing, yet suffocating at the same time. How could I find clarity when the source of my confusion watched my every move?
I shifted my gaze from the shore, peering toward the horizon and watching the swells as I waited for a wave. Finally, I saw one in the distance heading for me, the timing perfect.
As it approached, I readied myself, studying the wave with every inch it erased before paddling hard and hopping up on my board.
The water was rougher this morning than it had been earlier in the week, the ocean more unpredictable. But I held on, concentrating only on the wave.
Until something below the surface caught my attention.
It looked like a hand.
I tried to maintain my balance, but I was too distracted. The wave engulfed me, dragging me down to the ocean’s depths. In the darkness, I was disoriented, unsure which way was up. Trying to remain calm, I looked for the bubbles and followed them to the surface, fighting against the rough water to swim to shore.
Coughing and gasping for air, I managed to stumble to the sand and collapse on my knees. It took several minutes for me to catch my breath. Once I did, a renewed wave of panic overtook me when I noticed my hands were covered in blood. I frantically scanned my body for the source, but there were no cuts. No scratches. No marks.
Instead, as I surveyed the shoreline, I found it was littered with bodies, the ocean painted red.
And on the very top of the pile was Alton Sinclair, his lifeless eyes staring at me in accusation.
My screams echoed against the vast emptiness, but no one seemed to hear me, even when I was pulled back under the sea of blood.
The last thing I remembered was the smirk on Gideon’s face as I took my final breath.
My eyes snapped open, sweat drenching my body, my hands shaking uncontrollably. I pressed a hand to my chest, trying to slow my racing heart as each detail of my dream continued to haunt me in vivid clarity. The blood-red ocean waves crashing around me, drowning out my screams felt so real, to the point that I couldn’t help but question whether it had been merely a nightmare or something more sinister. A warning of what was to come.
I took several deep breaths, trying to calm myself and push away the unsettled feeling that clung to me like a relentless predator.
Between the dream and waking up to find Samuel’s side of the bed empty, I was more confused than ever, my head at war with my heart.
Would I have felt better if he were still here, his arms wrapped around me?
I couldn’t say with certainty.
These days, I couldn’t say anything with certainty.
Carefully getting to my feet, I headed across the room and into the bathroom. The hot water from the shower felt like heaven on my sore body, washing away my doubt and anxiety for a moment. Then I pulled on a fresh pair of shorts and a t-shirt before going in search of Samuel.
But when I entered the living room and kitchen, I found it devoid of life. Maybe he went with Henry to oversee the installation of the new security system at my townhouse.
I started to head back upstairs to grab my phone and text him when a couple of voices caught my attention. My curiosity getting the better of me, I tiptoed toward a partially open door at the end of the hallway.
“What a tragedy. Missing without a trace.”
I paused at the amusement in Samuel’s tone. But there was something else, too. Something dark and sinister.
It was completely out of character for the man I once knew.
For Samuel.
Because this wasn’t Samuel. Despite the connection I thought we shared last night, he was back to being Gideon Saint.
Back to carrying out his plan for revenge.
“It’s not just making headlines in Atlanta, but across the country now,” Henry stated.
“Can you turn it up?”
A female voice filled the room from what I assumed to be a news broadcast. “The police still have no leads on the whereabouts of Brian McGuire, a respected funeral director here in Atlanta. He failed to show up for work on Monday. The last known communication from him was on Sunday afternoon. The police urge anyone with information to reach out.”
I flashed back to everything Gideon shared with me, including the name of the funeral director who patched him up and sold him.
Brian McGuire.
Now, that same man hadn’t been seen or heard from since Sunday.
The same day Gideon approached me at the bar.
Was this the reason he was in Atlanta?
My stomach churned the more I thought about that night.
As I did, one thing in particular stood out in my mind — pushing off his suit jacket and finding blood on it.
I thought he’d hurt himself.
Was it this man’s blood I’d found? How much time had passed between when he killed a man and when he fucked me? An hour? Less?
“What’s the plan? Want to move on James right away?” Henry asked, cutting through my unease.
As much as I wanted to find the nearest bathroom and expel whatever contents were left in my stomach, I was rooted to the spot, unable to put one foot in front of the other.
“Let them sweat for a few more days,” Gideon stated, his voice calculated and cold. “As of right now, Liam still has no idea what James did. He’s freaking out over Imogene’s line of questioning while James is panicking over what the police will uncover once they go through Brian’s files. It’ll probably take them a little longer to learn James was the last person to see him alive. We’ll wait until then to send the recording to every major news outlet in the country.”
“Not the police?”
“The court of public opinion can do infinitely more damage. Plus, this will force the police to take action instead of accepting a bribe to keep quiet about his involvement.”
“And that’s what you want? For the police to get involved?”
There was a pause, and I held my breath, waiting for his answer. A part of me prayed he’d answer in the affirmative. Prayed he still had some decency left.
“I do.”
“Why? You didn’t want the police involved in Alton’s downfall. You insisted on taking care of him yourself.”
“Because Alton’s crimes weren’t that bad. Sure, he was a prick who stole people’s life savings, but James… He’s the reason Jonah was beaten so badly in prison that he turned into a vegetable. I want James to suffer the same fate. After all, he’s a former prosecutor. Pretty sure some of the people he put away would love to get their hands on him.”
“Releasing the audio recording will most likely reopen the investigation into your death,” Henry remarked gravely. “It might spook Liam, even if it doesn’t mention him specifically. It’ll be proof that James conspired with someone to kill you.”
“Which is why we’ll need to move on Liam right away.”
“Will you be ready?”
“Trust me. I’ve been waiting to torture that mother fucker since the day I escaped,” Gideon replied harshly. “It’s time he finally understands the true price of his greed.”
The more I listened, the sicker I felt.
Part of me understood his need for revenge. But another part recoiled at hearing him talk so callously about taking a life, as if it was of little consequence to him. It reminded me too much of my sperm donor.
I whirled around, wanting to get out of this place, to hell with whether Gideon thought it was safe for me to return to my townhouse. It was safer than being in such close quarters as someone who willingly admitted to killing another man.
And who planned to do it again.
But as I attempted to retreat without alerting anyone to my presence, my feet made more noise against the hardwood floor than I’d intended, and the door flew open.
“Imogene.”
I didn’t stop. Instead, I kept my head down, wishing I’d soon wake up from this nightmare.
But I wouldn’t.
I’d gone through the same thing in the days following Samuel’s death. Back then, I would have given anything to have Samuel back, but not like this. Because the Samuel I knew wouldn’t be so casual about taking another man’s life.
And that was the Samuel I wanted to remember.
Not this…stranger.
“Imogene, wait!” Gideon thundered, wrapping his hand around my wrist and yanking me to a stop.
“Don’t touch me,” I demanded.
He immediately released me, confusion swirling in his blue eyes.
The same blue eyes I peered into last night as he made love to me. Now they were different. Cold and hardened, reflecting the callousness of his tormented soul.
“What’s wrong?” He stepped closer, but didn’t make a move to touch me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to get my thoughts in order. ”I just…” I lifted my gaze to his. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Do what?”
“This.” I gestured between our bodies. “Whatever this is. Last night, I saw the old Samuel again. And a part of me thought that maybe I could bring you back. That I could fix you. Or save you. I don’t know what exactly. But now?” I shook my head. “After hearing everything I just did, I don’t recognize this person who’s actively planning another man’s murder.”
His jaw clenched, and I could hear his argument without him uttering a word.
Because it was the same argument I’d had with myself over the past several days.
“I get it,” I continued before he could say anything in his defense. “I understand these bastards betrayed you. That you had to endure things…”
I trailed off, my voice catching as my emotions overwhelmed me from the memory of his scars. Tracing my fingers along them last night. Kissing each one, hoping it would be enough for him to move on from his past.
How foolish of me to have thought that.
“The other day when I overheard your conversation with Henry, something you said stood out to me.”
“What’s that?”
“That you wanted to keep the truth from me because you didn’t want me to know what you’ve become.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down in a hard swallow as vulnerability flickered over his features.
Despite the perfectly tailored suit he wore, I saw a glimpse of the old Samuel again, the man who was so full of love and compassion I couldn’t help but give him my heart. But I knew how this would go. I’d been here countless times over the past few weeks, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. In a matter of minutes, Samuel would disappear and Gideon would take his place.
How much longer until Gideon eliminated what was left of Samuel, just like he eliminated Alton and Brian McGuire? How he planned to soon eliminate James and Liam?
“I’m begging you to leave me alone. Let me hold on to the good memories I have of Samuel. No more mornings at the coffee shop. No more keeping tabs on me. Just…let me forget I ever heard the name Gideon Saint.” My voice caught at the thought, but I had to do this for my own wellbeing. “Let me remember Samuel Tate the way he deserves to be remembered. For all the good he once did. Not the…monster he’s become.”
Tears threatened to spill over, but I kept them at bay, not wanting to give him a reason to comfort me. Not wanting to fall under his spell again. My heart couldn’t take much more of this tumultuous tug-of-war it had fallen victim to since the day I first noticed the man with familiar blue eyes.
“After everything you’ve put me through, I deserve that much,” I choked out.
He parted his lips, his gaze holding me captive for what felt like an eternity, my plea hanging heavy in the air between us. I sensed he wanted to say something. To argue. To tell me he’d stop this desperate need for revenge and close this chapter of his life.
Or maybe that was what I wanted him to say.
“You deserve to move on,” he said very matter-of-factly.
“You do, too.”
“I don’t think I can,” he admitted, his eyes searching mine for understanding. “Not until I finish this. Not until I know none of them are a threat.”
“Then this needs to be goodbye,” I managed to squeak out, the sharp stab of pain in my throat making it difficult to speak.
He sighed deeply, but didn’t protest or try to convince me otherwise.
Instead, he clutched my cheeks, causing me to suck in a quick intake of air as electricity heated my veins from his familiar touch. Regardless of his actions, I couldn’t find the strength to push away. I stared into the blue eyes that were once filled with so much love, but were now clouded with lies and deception.
With agonizing slowness, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my lips, lingering for several heartbreaking seconds as I breathed him in for the last time. He held me close and, for a moment, I almost expected for him to change his mind. To sweep me into his arms and promise me I was enough. That I was more important than this need for revenge.
But he didn’t, releasing his hold on me and stepping back.
“Henry will drive you home.”
He didn’t even meet my eyes. Instead, he simply turned and retreated down the hallway without a single look back.
I thought losing Samuel all those years ago was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
But this? Knowing the man I once loved was alive, yet I still pushed him away regardless? It destroyed me. What did he expect, though? That I’d be okay with his plan for revenge?
I already had to bury Samuel once.
I couldn’t do it again.
Instead, I needed to keep him alive in the only place he was safe…
My memories.