Chapter Thirteen
Jamie
Patch and Em come out of the pub a few minutes after the rest of us. I don’t look at Dax and Cecile. I can’t. They’ll be able to tell what happened between them, and I don’t want to read it from their faces.
I turn my head away to scowl. It’s not my business, is it? Patch doesn’t want me, and Em is my housemate, so even if he did, it’d be a silly thing to start.
Nick leans against my side. He’s not drunk, just a little tipsy, the way he gets after a few pints. His eyes are all soft when I look up at him.
“Don’t give me that look. Jesus.”
“Sorry,” he mutters, and I don’t know if he’s apologising for the pity or for the fact that Patch and Em are clearly meant to be—I don’t know if he even knows that, really—but I don’t care.
“Let’s go,” Flynn says, dragging Patch close once they approach. “I’m fucking freezing.”
It’s really not that cold, and Cecile laughs like she thinks so too, and we all walk away from the pub.
Of course, Patch and Flynn live the closest, so they vanish first, Patch giving Em a long, lingering look before they head off down a different road.
Em doesn’t look longingly after him. He keeps looking at me instead, little worry lines creasing his brow.
I sigh. I don’t want that. None of this is on him, after all.
I need to sort my head out.
Cecile leaves next, and then Vince and Dax. Vince wraps me up in a big hug as Dax politely says goodbyes to Nick and Em. “Don’t worry about them,” he murmurs. “It’ll all work out for you, y’know?”
I pull back with a sceptical look, and Vince huffs. “Come to dinner this week, hey? Drew wants to see you.”
“Thought you all didn’t want me to come since I didn’t get an invite last week.”
Dax must hear that because his face falls, and Vince shakes his head.
“I figured you’d need the weekend to adjust to your new housemate, dickhead.
Plus, I got caught up in all the new gym stuff and forgot to ring you.
It’s an open invite. You can just come over.
” His gaze shifts to Nick. “Both of you.”
Nick holds up his hands, shaking his head. He’s still not there yet, but after tonight, I’m more hopeful he’ll be open to it soon. Em just watches us all. At least now he looks more amused than concerned.
“Yeah, sorry,” I mutter. “I’ll come.”
“Me and Em can hang out,” Nick says, and he throws his arm around Em, proving he’s a little more drunk than I thought. “It’ll be fuuuuun.”
Em laughs and so does Dax, and I apologise to him too before we all part ways.
I know they’re glad when I turn up. At first, I think they were putting me and Quinn, one of the other wolves in their pack, in the same boat.
He’s skittish, more so than I was, even after Tim, but the last few months have seen a big change in him, too.
I shove Nick in the direction of his room when we get in. I’ll drop off a glass of water before I go to bed. At first, I think Em will say good night too, but he just hangs up his jacket and follows me into the living room.
“Did you have fun tonight?” I ask.
“Yes. I mean it—your friends are great.”
They are. Warmth spreads through my chest. They are, and maybe I’ve been a little unfair of late. Doesn’t mean I won’t be unfair again, but I can try harder, and I think they might get off my back a bit now that Em’s around.
They’re not going to like it if I leave. Flynn’s right. Someone will follow. I lean back on the sofa. That’s if I get the job at all. The interview is on Monday, so I won’t know for a week or two.
“Jamie, I—” Em sits at the other end of the sofa. His hair is a little more dishevelled than it was when we left for the pub today. He’s been running his hands through it all night. “I’m sorry about Patch. I mean, I didn’t—I didn’t do anything, but—”
“It’s okay. There’s nothing going on with us, you know?”
“Do you want there to be?”
The frankness of the question catches me by surprise, and I hesitate. Em sighs.
“Really,” I say, “it’s fine. It’s nothing. It’s just me.”
“He asked me out,” Em says, and I snap my mouth shut. “I’m going to tell him no.”
I sit up a little straighter. “Do you want to?”
“Sorry?”
“Do you want to tell him no?”
Em bites his lower lip as he thinks. I want to hate him, hate Patch, but I can’t dredge up the feeling for either of them. I’m just… sad, maybe. Left out.
“No, I don’t.”
“Go out with him, then.”
“Jamie…”
“I mean it.” I make my voice as firm as I can. “I’m not upset, and I’m not going to be. If you want to go out with him, and he wants to go out with you, then you both should do that.”
“But—”
“Do you believe me, Em?”
He blinks like he can’t quite follow what I’m saying, and for a second, I’m kind of pleased to have him a little off-kilter. Not in a mean way. I just think it doesn’t happen very often.
“Yes, I do.”
“Okay. Then if you want to go out with him, please do it. I don’t want you to pass up on this because of me.”
“Will you be hurt if I do it?”
I weigh up the question. The truth is going to suck. I can’t lie to him when I’ve just asked him to believe me.
“Yeah. Maybe. For a little bit. But I will if you don’t do it because you don’t want to hurt me, too.”
“There’s no winning.”
I shrug. “I’ll be fine. I think… I think I have this idea of Patch, and I need to get over it. Over him.”
Em leans a little closer. His eyes are bright behind his glasses and for a second, I’m overwhelmed by the nearness of him. “What about me?”
“Maybe the same.” My heart beats so loudly in my ears. “We live together. We both know that’s a bad idea.”
Some expression crosses Em’s face—there and gone—and then he sits back, allowing me to breathe. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“I often am.”
He laughs. “We’ll be okay?”
“Of course. I need to get over myself, I think.”
Em’s gaze lingers. “You’re hard on yourself sometimes.”
“Are you not?”
The way he looks at me then—it would be so easy to fall in love with him. He recognises something inside me that I think few people ever have because we’re on this strange, similar wavelength.
But maybe I’m wrong. I thought Patch and I were on the same wavelength too.
I get to my feet. “Right. Time for bed. I’ve gotta get Nick some water.”
“Night,” Em says. He makes his way over to the stairs. “See you tomorrow.”
For a second, the grin I give him feels real. “See you in the morning, Em.”
I don’t bother attending Vince’s class the next day, instead spending the morning with Nick—who is too whiny and hungover to go play football—and Em. Nick gives me sympathetic looks until Em leaves the room and I tell him to get his shit together.
Cecile lets me in when I arrive at Kieran and Lucien’s flat that evening. It’s where we always have Sunday lunch, even if the space is increasingly cramped, what with all the members they’re adding to their pack. She hovers as I kick my shoes off by the door.
“You all right?” I ask.
“I was going to ask you the same question. After last night…”
I give her a quelling look. I really don’t want to talk about it in this room full of busybodies. Vince and Dax are already here, helping to set the table, and Drew’s two mates, Adam and Sam, are moving furniture out of the way.
“Later,” I mutter.
Later ends up being well after dinner. Fewer people turned up than I thought would be present, and Kieran and Vince get into chatting about the gym after we’ve eaten, which leaves me, Cecile, Adam, and Drew cleaning up in the kitchen.
We all try telling Drew to sit down—he cooked everything, after all—but he stays stubbornly where he is and we’re not about to move him.
I mean, I couldn’t even if I wanted to.
“Well?” Cecile asks as she hands me a plate to put away. “Talk to me.”
“I said later.”
“They’re all busy.” She sweeps a hand in the direction of the table, which Sam is taking apart. They do seem distracted, and she’s not going to give in until I tell her something.
“Patch asked Em out on a date.”
“What?” Cecile almost drops the plate she’s holding, but I hurriedly catch it before Adam can leap across the kitchen. For a vampire, he can be pretty clumsy.
“He asked him out,” I say with a shrug. “I told Em to go for it.”
“What? Why would you do that?”
“Because it’d be cruel to do anything else?” I fire back at her. “Patch doesn’t want—And anything with Em would be a bad idea. Besides…”
“Besides, what?” Adam asks. Drew is at least pretending not to listen in, hands in the soapy sink water, but when I look up at him, his eyes slide quickly away.
“I’m pretty sure they’re mates,” I whisper.
Drew drops a fork with a clatter, which has Sam whipping around from the living room. “Everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” Adam replies quickly.
I fight the urge to swear. I really shouldn’t have talked about this here.
No way Adam and Drew will keep this from Sam—I don’t expect them to.
But then Kieran will surely find out, being as he’s the alpha, Sam his second, and Vince and Dax kind of know anyway.
“Fuck,” I mutter.
“I thought, maybe,” Cecile replies quietly. She grabs some cutlery, drying it without really looking at it. “I’m sorry, Jamie.”
“It’s okay,” I say. If I keep saying it, it really will be. “Better that he knew right away, isn’t it? They won’t have to go through all the same shit as those two.”
I jerk my chin in Vince and Dax’s direction, and Adam huffs in amusement. Drew is still half-watching me, though. I don’t know what he’s thinking. I don’t want to ask.
Cecile’s voice is faint. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Better to know right away.”
“Right.” I take the cutlery she offers me and drop it into the little dividers in the drawer. “Let’s hope it all works out for them.”