Chapter Twelve
Flame…
There is nothing worse than waking up because you’ve gotta take a leak.
The last thing I wanted to do was move. Michelle was curled against my side, her leg resting on mine, but damn if I didn’t have to take a piss.
I don’t know how but I managed to get out of bed without waking her but I wasn’t so lucky getting back in.
“Mmm…hi baby. What time is it?”
I laughed, I couldn’t help it. The first thing she asks after we have incredible mind blowing sex is the time?
Maybe I need to try harder next time. Glancing at the alarm clock I was shocked.
“Damn. It’s four thirty already. You must have really worn me the fuck out.
” I swear she purred just like a cat, as she stretched.
“You wore me out too. I guess there’s no getting out of dinner, huh?”
“I doubt it. You saw how they were this morning. Besides we have to figure out what we’re going to do as far as living arrangements.” Her smile drooped and I cursed myself for my fucking big mouth again. “It’ll be okay. We’ll figure something out. No pouting.”
“Uh huh,” she murmured and yawned.
“Do you want some coffee? I can call Room Service?”
“Nah. I’ll be fine once I get up. You are quite the stud muffin, Mr. Flame.” Giggling she threw her pillow at me. “Can you imagine if that skank in England realized what she was missing?”
“I’d actually rather forget the whole fucking thing.
” I hoped it wasn’t the start of an argument but she was in a playful mood.
Instead of hitting the shower we spent the next half hour having a pillow fight.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had one, I was maybe ten?
I don’t know how we didn’t tear open the pillows as we ran through the suite swinging at each other.
I caught her off guard when she thought she had enough clearance go around me behind the couch.
Grabbing hold of my curvy beauty I pinned her to the soft cushions.
“You’re my prisoner. No escaping allowed.
” She was absolutely adorable and I wasn’t ready to share her with anyone else yet. Would she play along?
“But kind, sir. I have to prepare for dinner with the royal chaos family. You surely can’t expect me to greet them in such disarray.”
Laughing, as she batted her eyes trying to look all innocent. “You will need to pay the ransom. Or you will be forced to remain in my mighty prison.”
“Oh no. Whatever shall I do? What is the ransom?”
“Hmm you are fair of face, I’d wager I could get a pretty penny at the market for you.”
She was trying to look horrified but couldn’t stop laughing. I might have helped a little since I was tickling her sides. “No please, sir. Anything. I’ll do anything.”
“Anything you say?” I gazed in to her eyes and our smiles disappeared. Claiming her lips in a kiss hot enough to light us on fire, we were breathless by the time I pulled her up. “I guess the kiss will do.”
I thought for a moment she was disappointed, but she smiled, and her entire face lit up. “Thank you kindly, sir. Now I must away and get ready.”
“I love you, Michelle.”
One minute she was laughing and happy and then the color drained from her face.
Without a word she ran into the bathroom.
No I hadn’t meant to tell her like that, but it fuckin’ popped out and it’d felt so right.
Hell, I loved her, had for months. Didn’t she feel the same?
Did I make another huge fuckin’ mistake?
The bathroom door was locked, so I knocked. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I’ll be out in a bit.”
I could hear the tears in her voice even with the shower going.
What the fuck? Was I just a fuck buddy after all?
It sure seemed like she’d fallen for me.
Grabbing a beer from the mini-bar I wondered what the hell I’d done.
Maybe I surprised her? Shit I surprised myself. So much for fuckin’ spontaneous.
The cold beer churned in my stomach, and I put it on the coffee table, only half finished. Wracking my brain, I tried to figure out what made her react like that.
“Eric. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to just run away but you took me by surprise. Actually you freakin’ floored me.”
She was dressed and ready to go. Even wearing makeup. If I didn’t hear her crying in the bathroom I wouldn’t have known she was upset at all. At least until I looked closer, her eyes were red-rimmed, she hadn’t been able to cover it up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t.” She must have seen the look on my face and shrugged. “Okay, maybe you did a little. Like I said I didn’t expect it. I don’t use those words lightly.”
“Neither do I. Is that what you think? That I tell every woman I’m with ‘I love you’? Because I fuckin’ don’t.”
“But you have right? Told someone you loved them?”
Shit. Why did those three fucking words always cause so God damned much trouble?
“Yes, I did. To a girl I cared about in high school. She totally screwed me over and broke my heart, or I thought she did. But you showed me what real love feels like.” She still hadn’t moved, hadn’t come to me, and I didn’t know what the fuck to do.
I meant what I said, I did love her. Why couldn’t she see it?
“I’m sorry. You really did surprise me,” she said, and sat next to me on the couch.
Taking my hand, she laced her fingers with mine.
My hand was sweaty, my heart beating overtime wondering what was going on, but her fingers were ice cold, kind of surprising since she’d just gotten out of the shower.
Tears welled in her eyes again and sucking in a breath I was about to tell her to forget I’d said anything.
Maybe it was too soon? “So what now? Are you’re going to break up with me because I love you?
I’m sorry I fucking said it.” More tears.
Fucking leaky women. Seriously? Did it have to be part of their genes?
“No baby, I’m not going anywhere. I’m really, really sorry I overreacted.
” The words were barely out of her mouth when she threw herself into my arms. Thank God I was sitting down because she took me by surprise.
Women are so fucking confusing, someone really needs to write a damn manual or something. Maybe an app?
Mascara or something black left a trail down her cheeks as she rested her head on my shoulder. “Are you okay? Is there something I need to know, babe? I mean I expected a reaction but sure as fuck not that one.”
A little snot bubble popped at the end of her nose and I handed her the box of tissues. Still sitting in my lap, her body warmed as she cuddled with me. It seemed like the worst was over but I was still fucking confused. Was she happy, sad, scared, or did I screw the pooch?
“Better?”
“Yes, thank you.”
Her eyelashes were matted together from her tears and whatever make-up she didn’t cry off, and she had two black streaks on her face.
Did I care? Hell no. She was beautiful, and hopefully all mine.
The jury was still out on that one though.
Fuck me running. Why the hell were relationships so complicated?
“Can you tell me what’s going on?”
“I’ll try.”
“Do you need a little time? I can take a shower if you want?”
“You don’t mind?”
“Babe, I love you. Whether you’re ready to hear it or not, it’s how I feel. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So yeah, I can give you ten minutes to figure shit out while I shower. Just don’t run away.”
“I won’t. I promise,” she replied with a tiny smile. It wasn’t much but it was more than she’d given me before and some of the pressure in my chest eased.
The shower helped ease more of the tension in my shoulders, but it also washed away her scent. I loved the smell of her sex. Spicy, silky goodness. The marks on my wrists were gone too. To look at us you’d never know we spent the afternoon burning up the fucking bed.
She was sitting on the sofa texting when I came out from my shower. It had been so good ‘til I opened my fucking mouth. How could it have gone from amazing to fucking suckful so fast?
“Everything okay?” Whoever she was texting had her attention because she jumped when she heard me.
“Uh, yeah. Everything’s fine. Cyn texted to say they would meet us downstairs in about twenty minutes. They just got back from shopping with Candy and Sweets.”
“Gotcha. Okay so that gives us a little more time.”
“I’m really sorry I overreacted.”
“It’s okay. I probably would have done the same thing if you said it first.”
“Really?”
“Nah, I’m trying to help.” She laughed, really laughed—like my Michelle. “Did you figure shit out?”
“I think so.”
Grabbing two bottles of water from the mini-bar, I sat next to her on the couch. I was going to pull her into my lap again but figured maybe I should wait to see what she was gonna say.
Out of habit I loosened the top of the water bottle before handing it to her. She took a long drink and pulled her legs up to her chin as she rested her back against the arm of the sofa. “You telling me you love me is like a dream.”
“It sure as fuck didn’t feel like it when locked yourself in the bathroom.”
“Yeah I know. I’m sorry, do I have to get on my knees and beg forgiveness or what? I’m trying to explain.”
“Sorry. I’m just confused.”
“I know and you have a right to be. I fucked up. I’ve been worrying you don’t feel the same about me as I do you.”
“So you…”
“Hey, let me finish okay?”
I nodded. It wasn’t easy, my instinct was to argue or something. I felt stupid sitting there, but I kept my mouth shut and took a swallow of water.
Michelle…
Stupid beyotch. How could I have fucked this up so bad?
He looked like a hurt little boy sitting there, and it was all my fault.
What the hell was I thinking? I’ve been driving myself crazy wondering how he feels about me and he finally tells me exactly what I want to hear and I freak the fuck out.
I need to be kicked in the ass. Who does this shit?
I’ve been waiting, praying, dying to hear those three little words, and then when I do I run into the bathroom and cry?
Seriously screwed up. I am lucky he didn’t leave while I was in the shower.
I wanted to hug him and tell him I loved him too. But I couldn’t. Now he was pissed and I couldn’t blame him. I’d be pissed too if I were him, which made this all the more fucked up.
“Love scares me.”
Eric looked at me like tell me something the fuck I haven’t already figured out.
I almost grinned, the look on his face was classic Flame.
“Yeah, I know what you’re thinking it’s all over your face.
I’ve only told three people I loved them, my parents and Cynda, and it took me a long time to be able to say it to Cynda. ”
Now I had his attention. His eyes met mine and were filled with questions. I needed to hurry this up, my phone was going to go off soon with another text from Cyn and I didn’t want to leave this hanging. Shit. Pull up those big girl panties and suck it up.
“When my parents died I wanted to die too. My grandmother was a mean old grouchy bitch. She took care of what I needed, made sure I had clothes, went to school, had food, but she didn’t have one kind bone in her body.
I’m sure she blamed my parents for dying and leaving me with her.
I couldn’t wait to get out of her house when I turned eighteen, and I never looked back.
“You don’t talk to her at all?”
“I sound like a heartless bitch, right?”
“No. I guess I just figured at least you had family and didn’t end up in foster care.”
He had a point and maybe I should have been more grateful to grandma bitch but I couldn’t.
I’d tried for years, but every time she pushed me away.
It started after the funeral. I tried to hug her and she actually fucking pushed me away and told me to stop crying and I needed to get over it.
I was freakin’ eight years old. Who says that shit to a little kid?
“I’m sorry. I know you had it much worse, but I think Jack and Sally showed you a lot more love.
Anyway, after they died I was worried that anyone I loved would be taken from me.
So closed myself off, I didn’t want to love anyone.
No close friends, no boyfriends, just lots of one time dates.
Until Cyn. When we met we hit it off instantly and as much as I tried to push her away at first she wouldn’t let me. Does any of this make sense?”
“Yeah I don’t know how but it does.” He smiled and reached for my hand. Scooting closer I let him put his arm around me.
“I think when you said the words, all my dreams and fears came out at the same time. I was thrilled and scared to death. I don’t want to lose you.”
The tears were coming, Flame was fuzzy from the hazy ‘looking through water’ vision. I saw him cringe, I’m sure he’d had enough tears for one day. He’d told me before he hated when girls cried, that his sisters were total crybabies when they first moved in with them.
“Can I talk now?”
I nodded, not trusting my voice not to sound weepy.
“I’m not going anywhere. Got that?”
Nodding again, I snuggled closer. I wanted to believe him but I couldn’t get rid of the icky feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like something was about to get fucked up and I couldn’t stop it. “But…”
“Nope no buts about it. Michelle, I love you. I really and truly do. It surprised me too, I never expected it to happen, but it did. I’m not going to be sorry for it either.
You changed me, I can’t even look at another woman without seeing your big brown eyes.
I want to wake up with you every morning and go to bed next to you every night. ”
I was hot, my face had to be three shades of red and wet from the stupid tears. What the hell? I can’t remember crying this much since I was little. “I’m sorry.”
“There is nothing to be sorry for. Nothing. Got it?” He passed me the box of tissues again but now he was smiling. His smile was pure joy and I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I just hoped I didn’t burn up.
A fingertip under my chin lifted my face and his soft warm lips gently touched mine.
It was a kiss of promises not passion. Or at least it started that way.
He pulled me closer and my arms wrapped around his shoulders.
My lips parted and he accepted the invite, sweeping in and conquering my mouth, like he’d conquered my heart.
I loved him, my Flame, the heart of my heart.
I prayed to God nothing could take him away from me.