Chapter 4 #2
I liked Calvin a lot. He was sociable but never pushy. We had fun together, but I could also tell him serious things, and he’d listen. He always told me what he thought, but in that mild, kind way of his. We’d grown close over the short months we’d known each other.
I must have hesitated too long because he backpedaled. “You don’t have to answer.”
If there was anyone I could talk about Frey with, it was Calvin.
“Nobody knows.”
He reached over his huge stomach to pat my forearm. “It’s fine if you’d rather not talk about it. I get it.”
“Actually, I think I want to.”
He smiled encouragingly.
“I’ve had a thing for Frey since forever,” I said.
“Mayor Frey?”
Calvin’s innocent eyes got big, and I chuckled at his reaction.
“The very one.”
“He’s terrifying!” Calvin put a hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry. Sorry. It’s just that he’s even bigger than Barclay, and I barely ever speak to him. He’s as scary as your dad, and I mean that in the best way possible, I promise.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “No offense taken. He and my alpha dad have been friends ever since Frey moved here two decades ago. He used to be a frequent guest in our house. I always liked him, but then I hit puberty, and… well. He’s the only alpha I’ve ever looked at twice, you know?”
“Does he know?”
I rubbed my face with my hands. “This part is embarrassing. I was really stupid when I was younger.”
Calvin gave me a sympathetic smile. “I won’t judge. I’ve done my share of stupid things.”
“Okay, but this might be a longer story.”
“I’m listening.”
“When I was eighteen, my dads threw me a huge party. Frey was there, of course, along with half of Beauville. I was so in love with him. I was convinced he must be my fated. Like, I just knew. Or I thought I knew. I’d grown up here among shifters, and a few days of shopping in the city with my parents had been the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me. I was amazingly naive.”
Even listening to myself, I got embarrassed all over again. But Calvin looked at me without any judgment, so I kept talking.
“I had a plan. The moment I was legal, I’d go to him. We would make love, I’d go into heat, he’d get me pregnant, and we’d be together for the rest of our lives. Except I was eighteen, and he was my dad’s best friend.”
Calvin’s cute little face morphed into the expression of someone watching a car slowly back into a post box. “Ouch.”
“A big ouch,” I confirmed. “It didn’t help that my ideas of seduction came from smutty books and romcoms. I drank a few glasses of bubbly for courage, the party ended, and my parents thought I’d gone to bed.
I changed into this over-the-top lingerie that I’d bought online and went to gift myself to Frey. ”
My friend sucked in a breath. “You didn’t.”
“I’m afraid I did. Not a day older than eighteen, I knocked on the mayor’s door in the middle of the night, stripped down to my assless lace panties, and offered him my virginity.”
Calvin spluttered and covered his mouth with both hands. “Oh no. Oliver, I’m so sorry! That couldn’t have gone well.”
It seemed I could finally laugh about it. “He was horrified. You should have seen his face! Only a few hours earlier, he and my dad had talked about how great it was that I’d gotten into a good college, and then there I was, half naked, outright asking him to knock me up.”
“You were just a teenager in love. He understood, didn’t he?”
“He tried to let me down easy, but I kept babbling about fated mates until he told me to put my clothes back on and leave, or he’d call my dad to pick me up. I ran home and cried myself to sleep. We’ve never spoken about it since.”
Calvin’s expression turned serious. “But you like him.”
I sighed. “Yes. And I still think he might be my fated. But he’s been avoiding me for years, and I haven’t even gotten a whiff of his scent in ages.”
“So that was why he acted so weird on Friday.”
“I don’t know. I have no idea what he thinks of me.”
“It must have been awkward for him, sure. But you’re an adult now.” Calvin raised his eyebrows. “And with the way you look, he must have noticed you.”
“You think so?”
“Oliver, everybody notices you.”
It wasn’t the compliment most people thought it was.
“Frey is the only man I want to see me.” I cringed. I sounded so desperate.
“If you’re really fated, he’s not going to resist for long,” Calvin said.
Could it be that easy?
My tea had gotten cold, but with honey, it tasted good. I took a long, comforting gulp.
Calvin seemed to be thinking, his eyebrows knitted together. “Can I ask you something personal?”
“Sure. Everything we’re talking about is personal, isn’t it?”
He smiled sheepishly. “I guess. But this is about sex. Do I understand it correctly that you’ve, like, waited all this time?”
It could have been painful and humiliating to talk about, which was why I had never told my roommates.
But Calvin would get it. “I was heartbroken at first, then stubborn, and now I’m just…
I don’t know. Maybe if I’d met anyone else who I’d found the least bit interesting, I would have tried purging Frey from my heart. ”
“So you’ve never been with anyone.”
“Total virgin. Never even kissed a man.” My attempt at a smile must have looked miserable.
“You look so self-assured, and you’re so pretty. Sorry, I just assumed you’d be more experienced than I was when I met Barclay. I never would have guessed.”
My throat tightened at the thought of more nights spent alone in my childhood bed.
Time to lighten the mood. “I do have plenty of experience with sexual frustration and toys. I’ve tried everything there is.
If the job at the town hall goes to hell, I can earn money running online courses on self-pleasuring. ”
Calvin giggled, blushing adorably. “Good to know. If Barclay ever sprains a knee, I’ll call you for advice.”
We both laughed, and some of the sadness left my chest.
I glanced up at Calvin’s warm expression. “How is it?” I asked, my voice softer.
“What?”
“Having sex with your mate.”
Calvin blew out a breath. “It’s magical. Every cell in your body is singing, and your soul is basking in joy.”
I couldn’t imagine it. I only knew the quick flares of energy a toy could give me, then a cramp in my arm, and then the chilly loneliness that came after.
“And breeding?” I whispered, glancing at his belly.
“Screaming orgasms, one after another.” My friend winked. “You’ll love it. The heat felt kinda short, and once I was pregnant, it faded. But so intense.”
“The worst part is, my body…” I gestured to my middle, searching for words. “My reproductive system is giving me clear signals.”
“Like, upcoming heat? I mean, you’ve seen him again, so maybe it kicked in?” Calvin looked hopeful.
“No, it can’t be heat. We haven’t been together enough for that. It’s just your usual desperate horniness.”
“You won’t have to suffer for long. Starting Monday, you’ll be with Frey every day. I bet he’ll cave.”
I grimaced. I didn’t want Frey to cave . I wanted him to want me. He should pine after me like I’d pined after him all these years, dammit!
“I didn’t take the job just to be with Frey,” I said, my tone maybe too sharp. “I actually do want to work at the town hall. You know that, right?”
“Of course! Barclay said Jesse and Monty were gushing about your strategy to help the economy. You’ll be great, I bet. Everybody seems super happy you’re back.” Calvin touched my arm again, grinning. “And if Frey’s still being an oaf by next Friday, put on the lingerie and go bang on his door.”
I winced. “No way. Not exposing myself to that level of humiliation again.”
Looking me up and down, Calvin narrowed his eyes. “Something tells me his reaction would be different now.”