Chapter 14 #2
“What happened?” Alessio asked, pulling a chair closer to mine as I sat in front of his desk with my head in my hands. “You haven’t had an episode for years, Finn.”
“Grimaldi. Enzo found him, captured him, and I killed him last night.” I didn’t look up. I didn’t need to. I knew the expression that would be on Alessio’s face. Surprise and concern. He exhaled a long curse and leaned back in his chair.
“Grimaldi? He was alive? We searched for him for a whole year. We were sure he was dead. How the hell did Enzo find him?”
I shrugged before physically pulling myself together and sitting up.
“Not just him either. He went after every man who’d ever wronged me as a kid.
It seems he found one and tortured them until they gave up the name of someone else, and so on.
He’s been on a bloody killing spree for years, like some Batman taking out the twisted fucks of Gotham. ”
“Good for him.” Alessio rubbed his jaw. “Finally, doing something I can respect him for. So, what does this mean? Does hunting and killing anyone who hurt you in the past give him redemption for hurting you too?”
I dropped my head back against the chair, sliding down the seat in exasperation. I was exhausted. Not from last night, but from fighting my own feelings.
“I don’t know, Alessio.”
“I’ll answer it. No. It doesn’t,” he said, leaning forward and bracing his elbows on his knees.
“Do I need to remind you that man treated you like a piece of shit he was ashamed of? He strung you along for a year and a half, hiding your relationship from the rest of the world. He hid you away, love-bombed you, gave you false hope, and then betrayed you. He made you think you weren’t good enough for him, which was far from the truth.
And then he didn’t reach out to you. Not once in ten years.
I supported you through that break-up, and you promised me you would never let another man treat you like that again.
You said if you were ever thinking of going back to him, I should punch you in the face. ”
“I know,” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I know all that. I do. But…”
“For fuck’s sake, there’s a ‘but’,” Alessio grumbled, rolling his eyes. “He’s already got under your skin. This is what he does to you, Finn. You’re the strongest person I know until he’s in the room.”
“Are you saying he makes me weak?”
“I’m saying he makes you stupid.”
I smirked. “Doesn’t love make us all a little stupid? I mean, you’re one to talk. You fell for the only woman you weren’t supposed to and started a war for her. Then you killed the American Don because he threatened her, starting another war. That was stupid.”
“Not the same thing,” he argued, but his light eyes danced with amusement. “Look, I’m just trying to watch out for you, but you can make your own decisions, Finn. I’ll just send you to Elle when it all goes to shit again, because I’ll be busy beating his ass.”
I chuckled, then sighed. “I don’t know what the hell to do, man. I still love him. So fucking much. He’s the love of my damn life, but what we had before was toxic, and I won’t go back to that. I can’t, for my own sake and Neri’s. But he does seem to have changed, don’t you think?”
Alessio looked at me, rubbing his jaw as he mulled it over. “You really want to know what I think?”
Alessio’s opinion mattered to me more than anyone else’s. “Probably not, but I need to hear it.”
“I can see he still loves you. I can. And I can see how much he’s matured.
He’s a clever businessman, our most successful arms dealer and sniper.
When he’s not around you, I actually tolerate the man.
He’s clearly trying to prove himself to you with all this redemption shit, but that’s what bothers me.
He’s arrogant. He knows how much he affects you.
He’s finally owned his truth. But... I still don’t trust him not to hurt you again.
Coming out and then actually showing the world who you love are two very different things.
He’ll have a world of opportunities open to him.
Will he be able to stay faithful? And even if he’s open to a public relationship with you now, how on earth does that work?
He’s in the North and you’re in the South.
He’s a Boss and you’re a consigliere. You have a daughter. What’s the long-term plan here?”
I groaned, rising from my chair. “Cristo, Alessio. I’m only considering hearing him out. I can’t look that far ahead right now. Anyway, I can’t focus on any of this until we’ve dealt with the Americans. My personal existential crisis will have to wait.”
“I don’t feel comfortable with you going without me, and with him, for that matter. You need to make sure they don’t realise you two mean anything to each other, or they’ll use it against you.”
“I know. They won’t. I’ll be professional.”
“It’s not you I’m worried about.”
“He won’t do anything that will risk this deal or our lives.”
Alessio stood up and grabbed my shoulder. “Fine. It’s only because I trust you that I’m letting this happen. You know that, right?”
“I know.” I pulled him in for a quick hug. “Love you, Brother. Now, let me go clean up your mess.”
“Dickhead,” Alessio chuckled. “Send Enzo in, will you? I think he and I need a quick one-to-one chat before you leave.”
I narrowed my eyes at him as he rounded his desk and sat behind it with an air of feigned innocence. “Alessio,” I warned.
“What? I just want to find out what his intentions are toward my best friend. I’m not going to threaten the man.”
“You will.”
He smirked at me. “Only a little.”