Chapter 21 Donovan
DONOVAN
Seven weeks later…
“Just sign the damn papers,” I muttered to myself. The contract from our Boston office was laid out in front of me. There were little yellow tabs sticking out of the edges indicating where my signature should go. For some reason, I couldn’t do it.
I got the call less than a month ago informing me my predecessor, Melvin, was officially retiring.
They’d expedited my application and interview, and it all went seamlessly.
I received word last week that the job was mine if I wanted it, and a couple days later, all the paperwork necessary to secure my transfer and promotion arrived in the mail.
It was the only good thing that had happened the past three weeks, and I should’ve been more excited about it, but I couldn’t bring myself to celebrate knowing it meant I had to leave Virginia—and Emily— behind.
We’d spent one glorious, uninhibited month together.
It had been the most incredible sex of my life, and for the first time in years, I truly felt connected to another person.
It was so tempting to extend our arrangement, to squeeze every last drop of time I could have with her from my remaining weeks here.
But that would only make this hurt more when it was all said and done, so we’d stuck to our original agreement and when our month was up, we parted ways.
After a full night of fucking on every surface of my house.
We even christened the laundry room. I’d taken her on top of the washer while my sheets spun inside the drum following a mishap involving some chocolate sauce and whipped cream.
That was three weeks ago, and I hadn’t seen her since.
True to our word, we hadn’t talked. I only broke radio silence once to text her that I'd officially gotten the job offer, and that was only because she’d made me promise to do so.
She congratulated me and wished me luck. It had been crickets ever since.
It was for the best. I knew that, but still, part of me ached to hear her voice.
I wanted to smell her sweet scent and bury my face in her soft hair.
It was all I could think about, all I dreamt about.
I woke every morning with a raging hard-on that no amount of cold showers or jerking off could cure.
She’d gotten under my skin, sunk her claws into my veins, and burrowed her way into my heart.
And now I was hesitating to pursue the future I’d always dreamed of because my mind couldn’t stop playing the what if game.
I couldn’t risk entertaining any ideas about staying and giving up my dreams to see if we could become more.
It was silly and irrational and downright reckless.
I just needed to forget about the way Emily’s touch made my heart race or how her smile caused warmth to spread through my chest. Or how her laugh could instantly turn my mood around after a shitty day.
The only thing that could fix that was time and distance. I just needed to sign the papers.
I picked up the pen, my hand trembling as I lowered it to the first page. The tip pressed so hard into the paper I was surprised it didn’t make a hole through the entire stack.
Just fucking do it, man. This is what you've been working for. This is your future.
I was about to make the first stroke of my pen across the dotted line when there was a knock at the door.
Startled, I nearly jumped out of skin, dropping my pen in the process.
Even though I wasn’t expecting company, I was secretly relieved to be interrupted.
I wasn’t willing to dig too deep into why that was.
Rising from my chair, I strode to the door and opened it without checking first. Surprise washed over me to find Emily standing on my front porch. She offered me a tentative smile.
“Hey,” she said, a little breathless, and a zing of excitement coursed through me.
“Emily. Hi,” I said, my brain slowly catching up to reality. “What are you doing here?” I asked, trying to act casual though inside, I was giddy over her showing up here after not seeing her for so long.
“I, uh, need to talk to you,” she replied, chewing nervously on her bottom lip. My grin faltered at the look of uncertainty flashing in her eyes. It was almost as though she worried I might turn her away.
“Come in,” I offered, stepping aside and motioning her forward. She brushed past me and entered the foyer. I closed the door and turned to face her, unease settling in my gut at her wary expression.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. She wrung her hands together, refusing to meet my gaze.
I closed the distance between us and tilted her chin up to face me.
Tears brimmed those beautiful hazel eyes.
The gold was more muted than usual, and I suddenly noticed the dark smudges beneath her eyes.
It didn’t look like she’d slept much recently, causing worry to settle heavy in my chest.
“Talk to me,” I pleaded, lowering my voice and softening my tone.
She turned her face away and took a step back, folding her arms across her stomach protectively.
Hurt flared in my chest, but I pushed it down.
Something was bothering her, and I was determined to get to the bottom of it.
She was silent for a moment, heaving a deep breath like she was preparing herself for battle.
Then her words came spilling out in a rush.
“I just want you to know that this doesn’t have to change anything.
I don’t expect you to alter your plans or not follow your dreams because of this,” she began, holding out her hands in a placating gesture.
“I’m only here because I think you have a right to know.
” She swallowed hard, and her face twisted with anguish.
I wanted to pull her into my arms to tell her everything would be okay, but then she spoke again, and her words knocked the wind out of me.
“I’m pregnant.”