Chapter 20
Jackson
Getting a good morning text from Sebastian was one hell of a way to start my day.
Especially after a kind of shitty first night in the apartment.
There was loud music and a weird ass smell that seeped into my place.
Someone must’ve been cooking something late at night.
My air mattress lost air, so I woke up basically on the floor.
It didn’t matter though. The place was mine.
When I finished getting ready, I received a text from Sebastian that he was downstairs.
I’m sure he wanted to see my place, but I wasn’t ready yet.
Maybe once I picked up some things while we were out, I would have him up but, in that moment, the air mattress in all its flat glory wouldn’t exactly instill confidence in him that everything was going to be okay.
I got downstairs and got into Sebastian’s car. It smelled amazing. It’s amazing how you can miss a smell in just twenty-four hours. “Hey!” I said.
“Hi, Jackson.” He smiled at me. Why did my name sound so good coming off his lips? It’d only been twenty-four hours , I kept repeating to myself.
We sat there for a few minutes and then finally I said, “The Home Store, right?”
Smiling, he shifted the car into drive and said, “Yes! The Home Store. Let’s do it,” and then he took off.
We mostly listened to music on the way there.
He’d change the channel, and then I’d change the channel that he just changed making him laugh.
It was nice to laugh with him. Twenty-four hours . I could do this, I thought.
Once inside the store, I grabbed a cart.
We went to the home goods section first. I wanted blankets, candles, and fake plants.
Everything I picked out, Sebastian had something to say about, but not necessarily in a bad way.
His taste was just slightly different than mine on some things.
“Get this one! It’s dark, dark is nice,” he said.
It was a side table because I told him I needed something to put my phone and water on at night.
I wanted lighter colors, but I gave in because I couldn’t resist his look of happiness as he encouraged me to buy things I wanted.
It made me melt. “Ok, I’ll get the dark one. But I’m buying a pumpkin candle…”
“Pumpkin? It’s Christmas. Why not a pine candle?” He picked up a pine scented jar and took a big whiff. “Come on! You can’t tell me this isn’t the best smell.” He waved it back and forth under my nose.
“Why do I feel like you are moving into my apartment?” We laughed as I put the pumpkin and the pine candles in the cart and kept shopping.
It was honestly the most fun that Sebastian and I had had together in months.
Before I knew it, the cart was full, I was nervous about what the bill was going to be, and we were about ready to check out.
I had to pee, so I said, “Hey, I need to use the bathroom. Wait for me. I’ll be back in a minute.
” I bee lined to the bathroom trying to be quick.
When I came back out, I didn’t see Sebastian standing at the checkout. Looking around, I finally saw him standing by the service desk and the cart was full of bags. “What are you doing?” I asked.
He smiled and said, “One of the prices were wrong on the throw blanket. I brought it up here to have them adjust it.”
“But…you didn’t have to…”
“Thank you for fixing the price. Have a good one,” he said to the service desk worker and then turned to me, “You ready to go?”
Suddenly, I felt shy, so I smiled, nodded and we walked out to the car with him. Sebastian loaded everything into the trunk, and I got into the passenger side. When he got in, I turned to him and said, “You didn’t have to buy all of that. I was fully prepared to pay for my own things, Sebastian.”
He said, “I know I didn’t, but I wanted to. I’m happy for you, Jackson. I just wanted to do something nice. I know you didn’t need me to. Please consider it a gift.” He looked at me with puppy dog eyes and I couldn’t even be mad at him.
“Thank you!” I said quietly.
“Should we grab some lunch?” He asked.
“That sounds great!” I faced forward and Sebastian took off.
It was one of the most amazing Saturday’s I’d had in a long time.
When Sebastian pulled up to my apartment, I asked him if he wanted to come inside.
He looked way too excited and said yes. He carried everything in and when we got to my door, I said, “Don’t judge it, please. It’s nothing grand, but it’s mine.”
“Jackson, I swear, I’m not judging you or your apartment.”
When we got inside, he set everything down on the counter. He took it upon himself to look around as I watched him go from the kitchen to the living room, to the bathroom, to my bedroom and back out to the kitchen where I was. “These huge windows are beautiful,” he said.
“Yeah, they remind me of the room I stayed in at your place. I really love all the natural light that comes in here.” I started putting groceries away while Sebastian grabbed my new side table and started putting it together.
Turns out my air mattress plug was not in properly, so Sebastian fixed it, then made the bed and put the new throw blanket on it along with the pillows we bought. It was set up in the living room. “This is a comfortable bed, Jackson.” He took it upon himself to lie on it.
I went over to the bed and sat down and said, “yeah, it’s not bad.
It serves as my bed/couch. Can’t beat it.
” I laid back, Sebastian was lying next to me.
It was familiar but also nerve wrecking.
The last time we laid in bed together, well, we know what happened and then everything went to shit after that.
Sebastian yawned, making me yawn. He finally said, “Wow. Today took it out of me. I guess I better head home. Had a lot of fun today, Jackson. Missed you last night.”
He missed me. Finally, a little honesty from him. “I missed you too, Sebastian.”
He reached over and grabbed my hand. It sent chills down my body.
My arms instantly pebbled with goosebumps and my scalp tingled.
It was the most intentional affection I’d received from him.
I turned my head and looked at him, holding my breath.
He rolled over to face me and said, “Breathe, Jackson.” I exhaled, slowly. “I want to kiss you. Do you know that?”
“I…I’ve never kissed anyone…” Shit. Admitting that made me sick to my stomach.
“What?” He leaned up on his arm.
Repeating myself nervously, I said, “I’ve never… this is stupid and embarrassing. I’ve never kissed anyone. I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never dated. I haven’t done anything with anyone. That night in the hotel was the most I’ve ever done.”
Sebastian got off the bed and came around to my side.
I sat up and turned to the side of the bed, my legs hanging off.
Sebastian was going to run again; I just knew it.
At least that’s what I thought, but he didn’t run.
Instead, he sat down next to me. He reached up and grabbed my face, “Show me your face.” Turning toward him, he leaned his head against mine and whispered, “Jackson, you’re a sunflower. ”
“What?” I asked.
He rubbed his thumb over my chin and said, “You’re a sunflower, always finding the light despite everything you’ve been through. Making me see the light too. My sunflower. Can I kiss you?”
“I…I don’t know if I’m any good.”
“You’re perfect,” he said. He leaned in, capturing my mouth with his, slowly, and then my lips parted, and his gentle slow kiss turned into one that felt more needy.
I moved my lips how I thought I was supposed to and let his tongue dip inside my mouth and find mine.
My tongue was sliding everywhere it could to make contact.
His tongue felt strong like the rest of him.
He brought his other hand up to my face while I gripped his forearms because I felt like I was going to pass out.
My blood felt like it was on fire. There was a thumping in my ears, and my dick was so hard.
Finally, I pulled back. “Okay…okay…”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Jackson.” He kept apologizing.
“No, no it’s not that. I just need to breathe for a minute. That was incredible, better than I ever imagined it to be.” I smiled at him, glancing at him but then looking away. My cheeks were hot, and I couldn’t stop smiling.
He was smiling too. “Citrus.”
Raising an eyebrow at him, I asked, “Citrus?”
He licked his lips. “You smell and taste like Citrus. I don’t get it.”
“That’s a good thing, I hope.” I said with a small laugh.
“It’s a great thing. Fuck, Jackson. I’ve wanted to do that since that night in the hotel.
You have no idea and I’m sorry I never said anything.
All I’ve wanted to do is apologize to you over and over and come to you and tell you how I felt.
But it never seemed like the right time…
or maybe I just got scared. And then you left, and I realized I royally fucked it all up. ”
I didn’t know what to say or how to respond because I felt the same. He reached his hand over to me and placed it on the back of my neck, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth at the nape. It was making my cock throb again. His touch was everything I had wanted since the hotel.
“What do we do now?” I asked him a loaded question.
He sighed and said, “We try and date…each other I mean. Not other people.” We laughed. “Let’s take it slow, but Jackson, I don’t want anyone else. I haven’t felt like this in years. I want to give you your space and independence. I respect that but just know, I’m not going anywhere.”
He wasn’t going anywhere. I had hoped he was sure because I really didn’t want to lose anyone else in my life. I cared about him so much. I wanted him and wanted him in my life.