Chapter Seven
Mae
His words rattled around loosely. Would it have changed anything?
Probably not.
I’d still be hopelessly in love with my brother’s best friend, and he’d still need to follow his heart off this island and away from his parents.
Because that was the truth of it.
For some strange reason, I fell in love as a teenager and never broke free.
Was it true love or puppy love?
I didn’t know anything except how this man made me feel when I was around him, even now.
Shaking my head slowly, I looked into his scalding blue eyes. I could feel the intensity behind his gaze, and I wondered what put it there. Was it all this talk about the past or some sort of primal need to escape from this island and away from us all?
“I doubt it would have changed a thing,” I said honestly. “But I like to understand things, which would have explained why you were always at our house.”
His smile widened, and he stepped closer. “I was always at your house because of you.”
It felt like the bottom of my stomach fell out, and everything gushed to my toes. I could barely stand as his words sank deeply into my soul.
Had I imagined what he’d just said, or did he actually say it?
“Me?” I stumbled over the one word.
Tyler’s fingers pushed back some dark hair that had flattened against my cheek from the latest gust of wind. His touch sent electricity through me, and it felt like every breath was a gasp for air.
“Yeah, Mae. You.” He took another step forward, and his hand didn’t move away from my cheek.
And I realized that maybe I hadn’t imagined all the looks in my direction, the secret smiles we’d shared, or …
The fact that maybe we both had been interested, but timing wasn’t on our side.
We were teens. He was older.
We’d been too young to know what to do with those emotions.
I shut my eyes, trying to avoid the craziness of my thoughts. It was just my wishful thinking again.
He wasn’t confessing his love. He wasn’t professing to a fantasy of forever.
Tyler simply stated that he liked hanging out at the house because of me. Truthfully, there were many days when I was the more adventurous kid and hiked along the beaches with Tyler while my brother played video games at the house. I’d always chalked it up to Tyler wanting to be active instead of staying inside.
And I didn’t care what I volunteered to do as long as I could hang out with him.
I swallowed the uncertainty welling up and opened my eyes to see him studying me.
“Did I say too much?” he asked, cupping his hand along my cheek.
I shook my head as his eyes fell to my mouth.
My pulse pounded stronger than it ever had before.
Everything was happening so fast.
Yet, I wanted it to speed up even more.
But then he’d leave.
So I kept everything bottled up inside.
Tyler stepped closer, removing the gap between us as the breeze swirled around us. The waves lapped against the sea in the distance, and I looked into his eyes, hoping for a kiss. Maybe it would quiet the desire churning through me for a man I couldn’t have.
“Mayflower, I didn’t expect to see you again,” he said softly.
The blue in his eyes turned stormier as I took a slow breath and tilted my head slightly as his thumb brushed against my bottom lip.
He shook his head. “It complicates things.”
“It does?” I said breathlessly. My cheeks warmed from the revelation my tone gave away, and his smile widened.
“I think so.”
“I guess it could,” I confessed. “But I’m not sure why. I’m just Brad’s sister.”
If only he knew how many nights I spent dreaming about him and what our life could have looked like if only he’d stayed.
And it was all ridiculous, so I never told a soul.
“Tell me, Mayflower. Did you ever think of me?” He trailed his thumb slowly along my cheek and down to my neck as my heart hammered in my chest.
“Embarrassingly so. More than I should have.” I kept my gaze on his and felt my chest fill with air from a silent and large breath. Everything felt like I was in some sort of surreal time-warping universe.
It felt like the first time we were both alone in the treehouse and…
“I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye to you,” he said softly.
Tyler’s gaze stayed on mine, and I shrugged. “Why would you? You were my brother’s friend, not mine.”
He shook his head slowly. “Here’s the thing.” His thumb moved slowly along the bare skin of my shoulder. “I knew if I saw you and had to say goodbye, I wouldn’t leave. I wouldn’t get away from my parents.”
The words sounded so nice, but I couldn’t believe them. Why would I have made him stay? We weren’t even together.
I smiled and touched his cheek gently, rubbing my thumb along the whiskers from missing a day of shaving, and I shook my head. “Tyler, we weren’t together. We weren’t… anything.”
He cocked his head slightly and took a step back, dropping his hand to his side. “That’s what you think?”
Taking a deep breath, I nodded. “It’s what I know. We never…”
“You think we had to have had sex to make me fall for you?” He shook his head and sighed, looking across the beach. “Mae, your brother’s great, but it was you I wanted to be around. You were why I stayed for dinner all those nights. You were why I slept over in Brad’s room, just hoping I’d get a chance to talk with you in the morning. Or why I hitched a ride to the fair with your family and tagged along on weekend trips. You were why I suddenly loved going to the library.” His shoulders lifted in slow defeat. “But I…”
I grabbed his hand to silence him. There was so much I wanted to tell him about how much I dreamed about him as a teenager and then as a young adult. How I wondered what he was up to all these years but wasn’t brave enough to look him up just in case…
In case he found someone to start a family with, to forget about Marigold Island, to grow old with. I watched the tide slowly return to the sea, revealing the shiny pebbles and pieces of chunky sand.
Squeezing his hand, I looked at him and smiled. “I always had a crush on you, Tyler. But I recognized it for what it was. A crush, right? Because we don’t know each other.”
“That’s not true, Mae. You knew me better than I knew myself. You were the one who made me believe in my dreams as a rowdy teenager. You reminded me how easily I could put myself first and reach for the stars.”
My stomach knotted in uncertainty. Not because this wasn’t the exact moment I fantasized about, but because it was, and I’d never made it past this point in my mind.
I had nothing to say or do. The truth was that I’d allowed myself to become stunted and shied away from the idea of love because I was too terrified to try it out. I saw my siblings all give love a go over the years, and until recently, all had utterly failed and been hurt in the meantime. It’s one of the reasons I loved my house. The size was barely big enough for me.
“This is a lot to take in, Tyler.”
His gaze stayed on me as I stared at the beach. “I didn’t mean to come on so strong. It’s just seeing you here, and in your element… it just all came out. I shouldn’t have—”
I brought my eyes to him, wishing I had the exact right words. “I kind of dreamed about this moment, to be honest.”
A flicker of hope dashed through his gaze. “Seriously?”
Nodding, I crossed my arms over my chest, almost embracing myself from the warm breeze and keeping my distance from the reality I didn’t expect. “I knew it was silly to daydream about you, but it turned into my safety net.”
He took a step forward, and I straightened. “What do you mean?”
“I just never really put myself out there,” I confessed. “Dating wasn’t my thing.”
“I don’t think it’s anyone’s thing.” He laughed, shaking his head, but his smile dropped when he saw the seriousness behind my gaze. “Wait. Like, not at all?”
“Pretty much.” A tinge of embarrassment sparked in me, but I brushed it away. Why should I be embarrassed for not being experienced, for guarding my heart?
My hands dropped to my side, and I smoothed my palms over the skirt of my dress. I wanted to tell him I loved it when he was over at our house, and I planned ways to get him away from Brad to hang out, but I didn’t.
Instead, I smiled at Tyler and let the warm feelings coat over me as we stared at one another. There wasn’t any weird awkwardness, just uncertainty.
“Anyway, I came over in the hopes of taking you out, and you having a blast with me and then getting to know me, and then maybe I could impress you…” He laughed and smoothed his hands over his face and groaned a deep, guttural sound that made my insides happily warm. “Instead, I came off as a blubbering idiot confessing my puppy love for my friend’s sister.”
I chuckled as his hands dropped to his sides, and he grinned.
“At least you look sexy doing it.” My brows moved up and down.
Tyler laughed and shook his head. “Sexy?”
“Oh, yeah.” I reached over and squeezed his biceps. “And look at these hulks. I mean, who wouldn’t fall for a guy with bulging biceps?”
Tyler shook his head, grinning. “Is that all I am to you? A piece of meat?”
“A scrumptious one at that,” I teased, opening my arms.
He pulled me into him, and I felt the heat rolling off his chest as my cheek pressed against his firm pecs and held in a chuckle. The guy obviously worked out.
“Maybe we shouldn’t mention this to Brad,” I said softly.
A minute of silence hung in the air, and I felt his lips press gently onto the top of my head.
“I don’t know, Mae. I kept it quiet the last time I had feelings for you, and I’m tired of hiding it.”
I pushed myself away only a fraction to tilt my head to look at him. “But we don’t know if this is going to go anywhere. You’re only here for a few days. I don’t know anything about you, like the grown-man version.” I chuckled. “I mean, what if you’re a weirdo?”
He laughed and pulled me in closer, and I wondered if I’d wake up from this dream any minute.