Chapter Twenty-Five
Mae
The Friday Night Farmer’s Market was just getting underway, and I found Tyler wandering the streets with Dottie, looking at booths and sipping the Americano he’d gotten earlier.
“Hey, you,” I said, grinning as I approached Tyler.
“Off so early?” he teased.
It was a little after five o’clock, and the surge of customers had slowed enough to leave Stephanie and Jessie in charge.
“I thought since we’re hitting the two-week mark, I”d better soak up as much of you as I can.” I waggled my brows, and Tyler opened his arms.
I snuggled into his chest and took Dottie’s leash from him. I looked into his eyes and smiled. “It’s been nice having you here the last few weeks.”
He nodded slowly, scanning the crowd before returning his gaze to mine. “I’m glad I got to stay another two weeks.”
Tyler kissed the top of my hair, and a delight shivered through me. We hadn’t talked much about the future, but I wanted to believe our history would be enough.
“Since my parents are still out of town, I have a fun surprise waiting for you.”
His brows arched in surprise. “Yeah? Do I need anything special?”
“Nope. Just trust me.”
“Those are worrisome words,” he teased as I kissed his cheek.
We wandered through the maze of tables and booths with amazing treats like raspberry honey, rose soaps, embroidered pillows, and crocheted stuffed animals in every color imaginable.
Tyler picked up a pink elephant and held it up for me. “Couldn’t you see this in a little girl’s room?”
My eyes widened, and I nodded. “Yeah, it would be super cute. How’d you know I was into elephants?”
Tyler chuckled. “What do you mean, you”re into elephants?”
“If I ever have a baby, I’ve always wanted to decorate the baby’s room in all elephants. Elephant decals, elephant curtains, elephant stuffies, elephant murals.” I motioned through the air. “All elephants.”
Tyler shook his head and glanced at the artisan. “We’ll take the elephant.” He paid for the stuffy and handed the pink elephant to me as Dottie eyed it as her own.
“You did not have to buy me the elephant,” I told him.
“It suits you,” he said softly, bringing his eyes to mine.
“How many kids do you want?”
Tyler squeezed me as we kept walking. “It’s not really my decision. I mean, I’d love at least three, but it’s not my body that has to go through that. I remember seeing my cousin, Lydia, go into labor. It stuck with me.”
I chuckled. “That’s sweet of you. But in a perfect world, you want at least three kids.”
“Yeah.” He turned to look at me. “And you?”
“Same,” I said nonchalantly.
The question had just slipped out, and I didn’t want him to think I was pinning hopes on more with him. He’d been clear that he didn’t know what he could offer me.
But I was secretly pinning hopes on more with him.
Everything about Tyler brought me a sense of peace, and I always felt protected when he was around, which was something I didn’t even know I needed.
The best part of spending time with Tyler was the comfort level. I just felt like me. I didn’t have to pretend to be someone else. He knew about my quirks from when I was a kid and how I’d only gotten quirkier. I didn’t have to hide who I was for him to spend time with me.
“Anyway, you’ll probably get your wish granted. Guys have it easy.”
His brows lifted as I took a sip of his drink. “How so?”
“Your biological clock isn’t ticking.” I shrugged. “I am officially considered geriatric.”
He turned to face me. “What?”
I nodded. “It’s true. If a woman gets pregnant over thirty-five, they call us geriatrics. Well, they don’t necessarily call the women geriatrics, but the doctors call it a geriatric pregnancy.” I slid a look in his direction. “No pressure. I’m just saying.”
Tyler chuckled. “No pressure at all.”
“I’m just saying when you’re ready to have kids, it should be easy for you to find a woman to do so.”
Tyler frowned as we slowed our pace toward my car. “Easy to do so? You do realize I’ve been single for decades, right?”
“Yeah, but when you’re ready, I’m sure there will be a line of women out your door in Wisconsin or North Carolina or wherever you happen to be.”
Tyler focused on me as Dottie sat at his feet. His fingertips touched the bottom of my chin as he raised my face to meet his. “You do realize that’s not what it’s about, don’t you? I want to be in love with the woman I raise a family with. I want to imagine a life with that person. And I don’t need children to complete my life or what I’ve dreamed for my future.”
“Then what do you need?” I asked.
“A partner who isn’t afraid to tell me when I’m out of line. Someone who reminds me how good it feels to be alive. A woman who is confident, brave, smart, and intelligent. A wife who dares to dream with me.”
The expression behind his gaze made my heart skip a beat. The heat in his eyes, the longing, the hope filled with something I couldn’t quite detect.
I breathed deeply and steadily as my gaze fell on Dottie.
“Kids would be a bonus but not a necessity.”
I raised my eyes to his and nodded. “Do you think you’ve found someone like that?”
Tyler smiled and nodded. “I know I have.”
But, location…
Tyler didn’t say anything.
“Okay, so let’s get into my car.” I brushed off the unease that suddenly filled me to the brim. He hadn’t made any decisions, which felt like I was an important enough reason for him to stay. “I’ve got the perfect place to take you.”
“That makes me nervous.” He chuckled as he hoisted Dottie into the backseat. She curled into a ball on her blanket, and I got into the driver’s seat.
Tyler climbed into the car and buckled, glancing at me. “Mae, I don’t want you to think that—”
I held up my hand. “Nope. Don’t say anything you’ll regret. Everything is dandy and just the way you said it would be.”
“It’s not just about fun,” he said softly as I pulled out of the parking lot.
“No, I know.” I shrugged, pulling onto the road leading to my parents’ home. “But that’s all I can focus on right now.”
He nodded in silence as I drove us along the center of town, turning toward the scenic road along the island.
Within minutes, I pulled down the home”s driveway, and Tyler smiled.
“Just like I remember it,” Tyler said, shaking his head. “Even the same colors.”
I laughed and nodded. “My parents aren’t big into change. They stain everything the same, and they paint it the same. Even when a plant dies, they replace it with the same one.”
Tyler chuckled. “Sounds like Cynthia and Theo.”
I grinned and unbuckled. “Doesn’t it?”
We got out of the car, but Dottie didn’t feel like moving, so Tyler carried her to the front door.
I unlocked it, and we went inside. Tyler put Dottie on the wood floors, and she waddled away, grateful to be back in her old stomping grounds.
“The place even smells the same.” He shook his head and looked around the foyer.
“What does it smell like to you?”
“Apples and cedar.”
“Really? I never thought about it.”
“I always loved the smell of the place. I don’t know. It’s just one of those weird memory senses.”
“Would you like a glass of wine or a beer? I’m sure my dad has some in the fridge.”
“I’d take a beer.”
We walked into the kitchen, and I opened the fridge. The only things inside were hot sauce and beer. I chuckled and grabbed two, turning around to see Tyler looking out back.
“There’s the treehouse,” he said, letting out a deep breath.
“In all its glory. Dad paints it every other year.” I handed him a beer and yanked on his other hand to the sliding glass door. “Come on.”
“You don’t expect me to climb in, do you?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“It’s like over twenty years old.”
“It’s in tip-top shape.” I winked at him. “Trust me.”
“Only because I love—” He stopped himself, and I pretended I didn’t hear.
We opened the door out back and shut it once we walked onto the back porch. It really did look exactly like it had when I grew up. The gardens were all in their place. The patio furniture was exactly where it always had been, and the treehouse was still propped between the two big-leaf maples and the fir tree.
As we made our way to the structure, I slapped the maple, and a few leaves fell.
“Not exactly building my confidence there.” Tyler chuckled.
“At least you know of a good nursing home if you break something,” I teased.
Tyler laughed, pulled me in, and kissed my forehead.
“Hold my beer.” I shoved the bottle in his empty hand and started climbing the ladder. I looked around the moment I got up, relieved everything was as I’d left it this morning. I pulled the corner of the plaid blanket and smoothed out the wrinkles as Tyler’s hand appeared with a beer.
“I got it,” I told him as he hoisted himself into the treehouse.
Tyler pulled his long legs through the opening and looked around. “It had seemed so much bigger when we were kids.”
“I know, right?” I shook my head and took a swig of my beer. “Crazy.”
I lay on my side and patted the empty blanket next to me.
“It feels like just yesterday, we were making out here,” I teased, rubbing my hand along his arm.
“Good times.” He nodded, drinking from the bottle. “I felt like the luckiest guy in the world when you kissed me.”
“I wanted to do more,” I said softly.
Tyler’s eyes connected with mine, and he nodded. “I know you did. I wanted it to, but I just…”
“You knew better. You were older.”
He smiled. “Not that much older, and I didn’t know better. I think I was just scared of what your brother and dad could do to me if they found us.”
I laughed, throwing my head back in a fit of giggles, knowing he was telling the truth.
As I brought my head back down, Tyler kissed me.
His lips felt warm, and his embrace was even more comforting as I sank deeper into a fantasy I wanted too badly.
I broke away slowly and smiled. “Have you made your reservations for Wisconsin yet?”
He shook his head. “No. Not yet.”
“Do you want to stay?”
“I do.”
“But?” I prompted.
He didn’t answer right away, and I knew he was leaving. He didn’t have to tell me. I could see it in his eyes.
“It’s not about spending time on Marigold or the location of things.” He shook his head and ran his hands along his face with a groan. “I was using all of those things as an excuse.”
“An excuse about what?”
“Mae, you deserve better.” He propped his elbows on the wooden floor and rested his chin on his hands. “No matter how I look at it, you’re signing yourself up for years of grief.”
Panic set in. I didn’t know where this was coming from or why, but suddenly, I no longer had a say.
I shook my head. “No, I’m not. I’m signing up for you, Tyler. You’re all that I care about.”
“And I care about you. It’s why I don’t want you to get yourself into something you can’t get out of.”
I let out a shaky breath, willing the tears away. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t fall harder for him, but I’d known him since I was a kid. It was like this relationship had fast-tracked itself.
“I don’t want to get out of anything.”
“My parents are living nightmares.”
“They’re not even here any longer. I’d have to go out of my way to see them. I’d physically need to ride a boat to get to them.” I couldn’t hide the panic in my voice.
He stretched his arm out and gently rubbed my cheek.
“If our relationship becomes more serious, there would be times you’d wind up in their world. It’s just how it is.”
“I don’t care. Whatever they have to say to me doesn’t matter. I know my worth.”
“I know your worth, too, which is why I can’t do this to you.” He shook his head, pulling his hand back. “And kids? Imagine having to put up with grandparents like that.”
“But imagine the amazing grandparents my mom and dad would be. Our kids would be so lucky.”
Our kids.
I couldn’t even believe we were having this kind of discussion, and he was already voiding out the possibilities.
Despair traded for anger, and I popped up to look at him. I crossed my legs and sat staring at the boy I’d always loved, who turned into the man I’d love forever.
“You can’t keep punishing yourself because of who your parents are.” I squeezed his hand. “You’re good enough to have everything and more. You have to believe that, Tyler.”
“Bethany told me what made her call APS.” His words hung in the air as awful possibilities wove through my mind.
“Tell me.”
He let out a deep sigh. “She asked him why he was so cruel, why he said so many mean things to people.”
My pulse thudded between my ears, and I felt woozy. “What was his answer?”
“He said it was fun.”
Shock registered through me as I stared at Tyler.
Tyler shook his head. “I’m not going to bring you into that world.”
“Then kiss me one more time and say goodbye.” Night blanketed the sky, and the stars twinkled above us as his mouth fell to mine, and I wondered if our time had just run out.