Chapter 14 #2
That was an easy answer. “Being alone for the rest of my life.”
Emmett’s eyes went soft and sad.“Oh, precious.That’s not going to happen.Even if you say no to us, someone will see your worth.”
Miles couldn’t help a soft snort.“Trust me, they have.I’m messed up and that’s not being self-deprecating.It just is.I didn’t get real therapy until a couple years ago, and by then…”He trailed off.
He hated saying he was broken, because he didn’t feel broken.He just felt sort of twisted, like he was wrenched into unnatural shapes and left to cure that way until there was no putting him back the way he should have been.
Emmett stared at him, then reached up and rested his palm against Miles’s cheek.The comfort was profound and almost overwhelming.“Is there anything about me that scares you?”
Miles didn’t want to answer that question.It was too personal, and too soon.But Emmett was asking for his honesty.“Having you…then losing you.Having days or weeks or months of bliss—of everything I’d ever dreamed about—and then having the both of you realize it’s not for you.”
“Are you not considering that you might realize this isn’t for you?” Emmett pressed.
Miles shrugged.“I am, I guess.But you two would have each other. I can’t imagine it would take long to get over me.”
Emmett chuckled, bowing his head, resting his forehead against Miles’s sternum.“Oh, darling. You have no fucking idea.”He pulled back.“I’m madly in love with my husband, and I always will be.But that doesn’t mean falling for you and losing you wouldn’t wreck us both.”
Miles scoffed.
“What?” Emmett pressed.
Glancing away, Miles shrugged.“You, maybe.But I really don’t think Cosimo likes me.”
“He does.”The certainty in his tone was enough to have Miles looking back at him.“That scares him.He’s only felt this way about someone one other time.”
“Who was it?”
Emmett smiled.“It was me.It wasn’t love at first sight, but it was something.We didn’t like each other very much because of it.It scared the shit out of us, and it took us forever to admit it.”
“Why is it different this time?”
Emmett’s grin got a little wider.“Because, sweet thing, we’re older.We’re wiser.We realized that trying to fight it only ended up hurting us.”
Miles couldn’t help the small shiver running up his spine at the sound of being called ‘sweet thing.’God, he wanted to hear that more.But not just from anyone.From Emmett.
And from Cosimo, he wanted…fuck.He didn’t know.
“What do you need me to be for you?” Miles finally forced himself to ask.
Emmett licked his lips, taking his time which Miles appreciated.“I want something more than what Mo and I have right now.I love being able to give him what he needs.I live for it.But when it stops, it sometimes leaves me…wanting.He doesn’t want to be taken care of in the ways I need.”
“So you want a broken man to fix?”
Emmett’s eyes went wide with offense, and he stiffened which made Miles immediately feel like shit.“Is that how I come across?”
“No,” Miles said in a rush.“I’m sorry.I just…I don’t understand.”
“I wasn’t looking for someone like you,” Emmett said, his voice a little stiff now.
“If that were the case, Mo and I would have a long list of exes with trauma issues.But I think regardless of your past, you’d still crave something like this.
I think the desire to be cared for and spoiled is simply who you are.
Regardless of where you came from or how you lived. ”
“How can you tell?”Miles’s voice felt thready and weak.He wanted to watch Emmett’s lips say the right words—the words that would make this all make sense.
Emmett traced a touch over his mouth, then down his chin, under his jaw, over his pulse.He went a little farther down, along his sternum, then to the waistband of his pajama pants.His stomach jumped, and his cock kicked against the tight fabric keeping it contained.
Emmett licked his lips, hungrily this time.“Because of how you react when I give you what you want. Being taken care of.Loved on.Doted on.Given rules,” he said, his voice darkening.“Obeying.Someday, maybe even being punished.”
Miles groaned.
“Being rewarded.”Emmett traced a line along the elastic at Miles’s waist, then tipped his fingers just under the band.“Cosimo needs me sometimes.I want someone who needs me all the time.”
“Yeah,” Miles said.He felt like he was in a trance, and yet his mind had also never been clearer.He could picture it in his mind—a perfect image of them.Except, one part was blurry.“Where does he fit in?How will he want to be with me?”
“Cosimo?” Emmett asked, and Miles nodded.
“That’s between you two.He’s a quieter kind of caregiver.
He likes to spoil—and trust me, you’ll see that soon enough.
But he needs his space to be brought to his knees sometimes, and he needs someone in our lives who understands that.
When he’s like this, you have to let him be this way.
You can join in.You can comfort him after, when he’s been reduced to tears, a shaking mess from not being allowed to come for five days… ”
This time, Miles moaned.Loudly.He shifted on Emmett’s lap and then let out a sharp gasp when Emmett laid his hand over the tent in his pants.
“This isn’t too much, is it?”
Miles shook his head.“No.”
Emmett didn’t rub, didn’t stroke, didn’t add more pressure.But the heat of his palm was almost enough to make Miles come right there.
“As long as you don’t put demands on him in the moments he needs this, he will love you with a ferocity that might not ever make sense.”
Love.What a wild concept.Wilder because Miles still didn’t believe he was worthy of having it.But his defenses were cracking.
Emmett said something so soft, Miles missed it. He brushed a gentle touch over Emmett’s lips.“I couldn’t…ah.I can’t hear when you speak that low.”
“I’m sorry.Tell me what you’re thinking, precious,” Emmett repeated, pitching his voice louder and stroking fingers over Miles’s jaw.
Miles let out a shuddering breath and closed his eyes.“This seems too good to be true.”
“I know what you mean,” Emmett said with a laugh.
Miles opened his eyes and looked at him.That couldn’t possibly be the truth, but the way Emmett was staring at him, and the uncertainty in his gaze, told Miles that yeah—he was just as off-kilter.
“How, um.”Miles stopped, biting his lower lip as he tried to find the right words.“How do I say yes?”
Emmett grinned, a crooked little smile, and he raised his fist.‘Yes.’
Miles rolled his eyes, and Emmett laughed again.
“There’s also, yes.Or sì.Cosimo’s parents are from Italy—from Milan.He spoke Italian before he spoke English which means you two can talk about me behind my back.”
Oh hell, why was that so hot?Miles swallowed heavily.“That’s not what I mean.Do I just…say yes, and then you start telling me what to do, or?—”
“Ah.”Emmett gave a very soft sigh.“May I hug you?”
Miles blinked, surprised by the question.“Y…es.”
Wrapping his arms tightly around Miles’s body, Emmett pulled him flush against him.After a long moment, his muscles started to relax.He went boneless after three breaths.After four, Emmett was able to swing Miles’s legs around so his back was resting against Emmett’s chest.
“Today, I need to focus on Cosimo.”He spoke right against Miles’s neck.
“Not all day.Not yet.It’ll get intense, and I don’t want to scare you off, but I’d also like you to see it soon.
What we do together. I want you to pay attention to his face.
His body language.Learn to read him, see how he doesn’t always like it—but he needs it.
”Emmet turned his face, then attached his teeth to the side of Miles’s neck, making him jolt.
He soothed the bite with the press of his tongue, trailing off in several careful kisses.
“I,” Miles said, trailing off.His voice trembled in the back of his throat.
“Am I going too far?”
Miles couldn’t help the smallest laugh.“Not far enough.”
He couldn’t reconcile that he hadn’t known this man for long.He couldn’t get his mind to wrap itself around the fact that just weeks ago, Emmett and Cosimo were his girlfriend’s dads.That he only knew of them.
They’d been gorgeous and happy and untouchable.
And when he finally did meet them, they stood for something Miles didn’t think he’d ever be allowed to witness, let alone have.
And now here he was.
A word danced on the tip of his tongue, five letters, two syllables, started with a D.He wasn’t sure how Emmett would feel about him using it yet, though.
“Precious thing,” Emmett murmured.“How far do you want me to go?”
“I don’t know.”He felt overwhelmed.Overstimulated, but somehow not stimulated enough.He moved his hips restlessly, and he felt a hard bulge against his backside.He shifted again, brows furrowed.The rumble in his throat told him he’d made an involuntary noise of curiosity.
And the way Emmett let out a small laugh and took Miles’s restless hips told Miles he’d heard it and understood. “It’s a packer.”
Ah.Miles nodded, then relaxed backward, but there was still tension in him.He didn’t know what came next.He knew he wanted to feel pleasure, but he didn’t know how to ask.He didn’t know how to voice it.What words to use.
Help me , he wanted to beg. Figure it out and don’t wait for my permission.
Emmett eased his mouth away from Miles’s neck, then his hand crept up into his hair.It circled the place where his left implant sat.He had a cowlick there from it.His hair was longer and always covered it, but it never sat quite right.
“I’d like to take these off.”
Miles stiffened.He loved silence.When he was safe, he loved complete deafness.But those moments in his life where he was able to have it outside of sleep were few and far between.
“Trust me?” Emmett asked.