Chapter 29
BEA
“Natalia! Time to go!” I call up the stairs, checking the contents of her backpack one more time.
The lunch she helped me pack last night, the snacks for morning and afternoon breaks, a refillable water bottle, a floppy sun hat, and sunscreen are all accounted for.
I zip the pack closed with a special new keychain—an acrylic pink bunny—before setting it aside.
“Coming!”
Nat bounds down the stairs at the same time as her announcement, leaping from the last one into my arms. I swing her around once and settle her on my hip, peppering her face and neck with obnoxiously exaggerated kisses. She giggles and squirms in my hold, so I double down in my attack.
“Mamochka!” she squeals, and I stop, my heart filling with wonder every time I hear Natalia call me that. The frequency has increased now that school is over and the three of us are spending more time together. As a family.
“Ready to go to camp?” I ask after pulling back and gentling my affection. Nat tries to bounce in my arms, and I laugh. Nicky wanted to come with me for drop-off, but had a therapy session with Adam he couldn’t reschedule. “I’ll take that as a yes!”
After setting her on her feet, she picks up the backpack without instruction, and we make our way to the garage.
For the first time, Natalia is going to a day camp at a nearby country club.
She made friends this school year with children who were attending, and after speaking with the other parents, it sounded like a good fit for our girl.
Our girl.
Nicky and I made the decision for her to go together.
Worrying over the parts we couldn’t control, checking in with Nat’s therapist, and having conversations with Natalia.
I know not every part of parenting is going to be so easy, but I also know I have Nicky to do it with.
A partner to share the responsibility with, and it felt like the final piece of my puzzle locked into place.
After getting Natalia checked in and watching her float through the doors with her friends to the counselors, I crank up the music in my car.
I’m making the drive to The Midnight facility as an employee for the last time.
Nerves flutter through me, but they lean toward excitement and possibility, not dread and doom.
As Natalia finished her school year, I scheduled a meeting with Ava and provided my notice.
Ava was nothing but supportive and happy for me.
We’ve spent the last two weeks transitioning over my tasks and delegating anything remaining.
Today, I’ll sign all of my off-boarding paperwork with Human Resources and clean out any personal things from my office.
“Good morning!” Violet chirps as I walk through the doors of the building I’ve spent more than a year in. She links arms with me, and I turn us toward the lifts.
“Hello, Petal,” I greet in return. Violet suddenly steers us away from the metal doors to the hallway that leads to the team area. I needle at her, “My office is on the third floor. Has a window.”
“I know where your office is. I was there yesterday for lunch, remember?” Violet sasses. She swipes her access card from her hip on the keypad. The light turns green, and she opens the door, pulling me after her.
“It’s not my memory that apparently is of concern right now,” I say, letting her drag me down the hall a little farther. But when she doesn’t respond, I dig my heels in. “What is going on?”
“Can’t tell you, it’s a surprise.” Violet shrugs, pulling harder on my arm until I budge. I don’t make it easy, but I’m intrigued, so I relent just as Gus pops out from a doorway.
“Oh no,” I groan, all curiosity fleeing at the smile spreading on his face.
“Live a little, Beatie. I promise, it will be fun if you trust us.” He holds out a blindfold, giving me a choice. I look at it, at him, and finally over at Violet. She claps her hands together in a silent pleading motion, and I look to the ceiling before releasing a suffering sigh.
“I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this.”
Gus gives a leaping wiggle of excitement before coming around and carefully tying the blindfold over my eyes. He takes up one side, looping my arm through his before Violet resumes her post on the other.
“If I end up falling on my face, I’m never going to forgive either of you.
Nicky and I have dinner plans tonight, and I’d rather not have a goose-egg bruise on my forehead.
” Every step is hesitant, even though I’ve walked these halls a thousand times before.
But through opening and closing doors, leading me deeper into the facility, my friends never let my progress falter.
The temperature shifts, becoming significantly colder, and we pause.
I know we’re getting close to the rink, and someone helps me thread my arms through a fleece jacket, zippering me into it with care.
The smooth hiss of skates meets my ear after a final door opens.
It accompanies the blast of cold air and mild chlorine smell of ice.
Voices quiet before I can pick out any particulars, but I sense there’s a fair number of people around based on the energy around me when we stop moving again.
Violet’s other hand covers mine, and she gives it a comforting squeeze before we stop.
“Love you, Bea,” she whispers before stepping away. I miss her warmth and cling tighter to Gus, who remains for a beat longer. Then he presses a sweet kiss on the top of my head and moves from my side, too.
My fingers twitch to reach out in front of me or remove the blindfold; I’m not sure which feels more important. But I fight the urge, knowing somewhere deep within that there is a reason not to. I trust my friends, and I cling to my fraying patience, willing it to stay together a little longer.
“Hello, solnyshka.”
My breath hitches at the familiar voice, head whipping in the direction it came from. Nicky’s here, and just knowing that calms me. I swear I can smell his spicy, woodsy scent, feel his strong, safe arms, and the comfort they bring. I reach for the blindfold, eager to find him.
I have to blink a few times against the bright fluorescents until the practice ice comes into focus.
I’m standing at a board door of the rink.
Scattered around the ice are the usual group of people I’ve come to love and rely on.
Crosby, Obie, Charlie, and Leo are gathered near a blue line.
They’re in street clothes but have their skates on, and huge smiles on their faces.
Violet and Gus slip through the door next to me, skating over to our friends, momentarily distracting me from my search for Nicky.
But there, in the players’ box, stands Nicky.
He has the black Midnight hoodie we fight over on and jeans, nearly the same outfit he was wearing when he left to see Adam this morning, but he’s added a black beanie to cover his blond hair.
It makes him look boyishly handsome, and it matches the carefree smile he’s giving me.
I wish the ice weren’t between us because I so badly want to run to him for a hug.
As if he can read my mind, he begins moving toward the hinged door at the end of the team box.
When it opens, Nicky’s skate hits the ice, and I gasp.
Nicky’s on skates, gliding across the ice.
Tears fall unbidden, and ugly sobs wrench from my chest. Nicky picks up speed, stopping in a small spray of ice before pulling me against him. “You’re skating,” I manage to hiccup against him. “I-How—When…” I can’t continue, but he knows what I’m asking.
For the last six weeks, since confessing his fear in the middle of the night in the cabin in Maine, Nicky has worked tirelessly to address his trauma.
His teammates have lent a hand by spending time with him, offering support through small amounts of exposure therapy.
There have been setbacks and a few more nightmares after particularly challenging days, but Nicky has made deliberate, steady progress.
He picked up dry-land training sessions with the group and scheduled one-on-one skills practice with Robbie in the garage.
One week, he wore a different piece of his equipment around the house each day, adjusting to the presence of them again and checking in with how it made him feel.
I have been so proud of him, but I know this moment is the final step to getting back what he feared he would lose.
“I wanted it to be a surprise.” Nicky smooths his hand through my hair before swiping a thumb to rid my cheek of the salty tracks tightening my skin.
He cradles my face with such delicacy it almost brings a new wave of tears spilling over.
He looks at me with wonder, as something to be treasured.
Something precious. “I wanted to share it with you before you left this building. This season changed my life. Not just because of the injury, but because of you. Falling in love with you has made me a better friend, a better father, a better man. I wouldn’t take back any of the hard things that happened because I was lucky enough to have you by my side for all of them. ”
“I don’t want to be anywhere else,” I whisper back, heart exploding that somehow this man is mine.
I surge up onto my toes, falling horribly short of reaching where I want to be until Nicky bends and helps press our lips together.
It’s a kiss filled with promise. Commitment.
Of two people choosing to be with each other every single day, no matter what it brings.
“Good,” Nicky says when he pulls back, sliding an arm around me to keep me pressed against him. “Because I’m not letting you go, and neither is Nat.”
“Now, Daddy? Can I come hug mamochka yet?” Natalia’s excited yell comes from beside me. She’s in Cal’s arms, reaching out for us. There’s an adorable pair of skates on her feet, the guards over the blades to protect Cal. In his other hand is another set of skates, brand-new and bright white.
I step out of Nicky’s hold to lean toward my little girl, shocked and surprised that she’s here, but always happy to have her close. Natalia’s tiny arms loop around me, and she kisses my cheek, briefly pausing her and Cal’s progression toward the ice.
“I did good keeping the secret, right, Daddy?” she asks over my shoulder.
“You were excellent, milaya. I don’t think Mommy had any idea we had such a big surprise planned for her.
” Nicky kisses the top of her head before letting Cal take off across the ice to the rest of the people who have now started to skate around, their jovial conversations echoing quietly off the rafters.
I watch, fascinated, as Cal slips the guards from Natalia’s skates and situates her on the ice. She pushes off with ease, the movements as easy and natural as walking for her. I sigh, seeing the joy light her face as she chases after Charlie.
Violet and Crosby skate together, looking like a pair of dancers as Gus does loopy jumps around them.
Obie and Leo race from goal line to goal line, careful to avoid a giggling Natalia.
Cal watches over everyone with his usual austerity.
Nicky skates backwards, joining the whimsical scene, flickers of magic lighting me up inside.
Nicky comes back, the extra pair of skates in his hand, a mischievous smirk blooming on his face. He lifts his brows. “What do you think? Finally time for you to learn?”
“Promise you won’t let me fall?” I answer, nerves joining the sparks in my blood.
Nicky comes close to the edge, arm looping the small of my back and kissing me hard.
I want to lose myself in the way his tongue strokes mine, soft and sensual, hot and demanding all at once. And I’m about to when he pulls back.
“I can’t promise that. Can’t promise it won’t hurt, either.” He drops his forehead against mine. “But I can promise to be there to pick you up and take care of you every single time it happens.”